


Of Scales and Swords

by Sandentwins



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, Argonians, Cloaca, Dragons, Elder Scrolls Lore, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Past Lives, Slow Burn, Smut, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-07 04:00:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 121,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5442581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandentwins/pseuds/Sandentwins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the way to new adventures, the Dragonborn finds an even better reward: a new follower, and a potential friend.<br/>What could a humble Argonian bring to the Hero of Skyrim, that no one else can?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darkwater Pass

**Author's Note:**

> For an easier sticking to the canon, this version of Dovahkiin will be slightly aware of game mechanics such as menus and saves. But not too much.  
> Needed lore elements and NPC characterizations that haven't been addressed enough in the games will be completed by headcanons.  
> All Dovahzul words and their meanings are taken from the [UESP page](http://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Dragon_Language#Translation_Key) on Dragon language, unless stated otherwise.  
> Needless to say that there are spoilers for some minor Skyrim quests and dungeons, as well as some elements of the main questlines. Refer to the chapter titles to know what dungeons may be spoiled.

They have said there would be some good treasure, in this dark cave filled with nasty Falmer. That would have been a good thing to expect from this place, but Karmyn didn't really care. The thrill of adventure, the excitement of a possible Word of Power hidden beneath his feet, and the adrenaline that rushed though his blood everytime he was drawing his sword, were reasons good enough for the Dragonborn to explore some new and unknown dungeon.  
The familiar growling of a Snow Elf made him grab the hilt of his Glass Sword. Needing to be sure, he whispered a red Shout. There were two of them, very close. Without hesitation, Karmyn rushed forward, his shield meeting a ray of ice magic that made him almost stagger. His blade slashed through the air, right on the devilish creatures, who expired in a matter of second.  
No more enemies in this section of the dungeon. Karmyn leaned on the wall, taking a second to eat a couple venison chops. His arm soon ceased to hurt, as he swung his sword with ease. He was knee-deep in the water, but he couldn't care less. In fact, he even enjoyed it.  
He climbed up the stairs, decapitating the Chauruses spitting their poison, and soon reached a large room. He saw the arcane table on the left, and went to use it. Finding a nice book about enchantments on armor, he started to study some of the garments he had found earlier, when a voice broke the silence around.

“Is someone there?”

Karmyn froze. He wasn't alone! Some mercenary, perhaps. Leaving the Orcish Axe on the table, he returned into the circular room, hoping his potential opponents weren't too much above his level. But then, the voice called again, from beneath. Karmyn looked at his feet, and saw the metal bars.  
There was someone there.

“Hey, you!”, the stranger called. “Can you help me? I'm stuck here and the door is locked. I don't know what to do anymore.”

No more words were needed to know, someone needed the Dragonborn's help. After some glances, Karmyn saw a lever on the wall, that opened a secret door on the wall, leading to wooden stairs. His weapon ready in case of an ambush, he proceeded slowly enough not to trigger any potential tripwires. Coming to a small corridor, he turned towards the stranger's voice, and stopped at a locked gate.  
Behind the bars was a tall Argonian, wearing miner's clothes, who seemed really stressed about his captive situation.

“Need something?”, he asked.

Quite surprised, Karmyn asked who he was.

“Derkeethus, from Darkwater Crossing.”

He sighed, looking at his prison. A small hole, filled halfway with water and overgrown plants.

“Should have known better than to swim all the way to the falls. Please, get me out of here!”

Karmyn grinned, and looked at the door. A standard old Nord model. Grabbing some lockpicks from his pocket, he opened it in no time. Afterall, he had good stealth stats.

“Come with me.”, he simply said to the other Argonian.

As they tried to find a way out of the cave, Derkeethus grabbed a pickaxe from his belt, using it to defend himself against the few enemies. That guy was skilled in One-handed, Karmyn noticed. Himself was almost at the top level of this skill, as proved by his fast and powerful attacks. He liked when the job was done quickly, preferring to have two good weapons at once rather than a single, slow greatsword.

“We're getting lost, friend.”, Derkeethus commented after a while. “Are you sure the exit is this way?”

“I know where I'm going.”, Karmyn replied, pausing to look at his map. “There's an exit not so far. We'll make it before you think.”

Still, Karmyn's tail was swiping nervously. Good thing there was quite the gold around here, although it didn't seem as if he could find the slightest Word of Power in such a place. It wasn't very large, but there were so many twists and turns and dead ends that for a second, the Dragonborn thought they were truly lost.  
But he didn't give up. After a long time, they reached a door. “Skyrim”, read the tag. Pushing it open, Karmyn braced himself for the loading screen, breathing out in relief.  
When the usual advice disappeared, both men found themselves in a small part of the river, near the waterfall. Karmyn let himself swim for a short second, happy to finally have some fresh water to dive his head in. But then, he turned to Derkeethus.  
Now that he was looking at him in the sunlight, he could see there was something about this guy. His dark green scales were slightly shining from the wetness and the sun, and there was something in the slow movement of his tail that indicated happiness, or at least relief. He had really intriguing golden eyes, Karmyn thought.  
But the Argonian noticed Karmyn's stare, and put on a sardonic smile.

“Need something?”, he asked.

Surprised, Karmyn didn't know what to say. That had been impolite of him, of course. But still…

“Thanks.”, the curvy-horned lizard grinned. “I'm out!”

And, without any other word, he dived into the river.  
Karmyn shook his head, as to wake himself up, and called after him. But as Derkeethus didn't hear, his head in the water, Karmyn shrugged and jumped in.  
Driven by archaic game engine rules, he had this nasty habit of holding his breath like a human, even though his lungs had the ability to breathe underwater. But he could swim quite easily, and caught up with the green-scaled Argonian in no time. He tried to say something, but there was no way he could talk in water. Rising to the surface, he gulped some fresh air, letting himself be carried by the water current.

“I wanted to ask...where are you going?”

Derkeethus seemed not to understand this question, looking at the Dragonborn with suspicion. But Karmyn's Speech stat being high enough, he didn't care much about it.

“To my home, in Darkwater Crossing. Why would you-”

“Watch out!”, Karmyn called out.

Carried away by the current, the two men were heading towards a high, rocky waterfall. Grabbing the Argonian by the sleeve, Karmyn had the reflex to swim sideways, bringing him on the riverside, away from the danger. He didn't know whether Derkeethus was an Essential or not, and certainly didn't want to feel guilty of his possible death by high fall.

“That was close.”, he commented.

Derkeethus looked at Karmyn, then at the waterfall.

“...yes. It was indeed.”, he shrugged.

But after a second, he smiled, to Karmyn's surprise. The latter looked kind of confused for a moment, before pulling his mind together.

“So...as I was saying, do you have...important business to attend to, right now?”

Derkeethus, already going back home, looked at the blue-scaled Argonian with a doubtful expression.

“I guess not.”, he said.

“Good.”

Karmyn hesitated, before offering him a hand.

“'Cause I think I could need someone like you at my side.”

Derkeethus's expression went from doubtful to flabbergasted in a matter of seconds.

“Me? I mean...why? Don't you already have someone?”

“Oh, I'd like to say that, but...”

His mind turned towards Lydia. Bravest Nord warrior he'd ever met, always there to carry his burdens as she would always say; but even the greatest housecarls had to fall, when directly hit by dragon fire.

“...let's say I'd need a good fighting hand.”

The miner looked at the Dragonborn's gloved palm, something like hesitation stirring his mind. What had he to lose, afterall? Sure this would be more exciting than his work at Goldenrock Mine...but there were dangers. This guy clad in what seemed to be Dragonscale smelled of danger and unholy adventures. He wasn't to be trusted...but at the same time, he did save him from a long and painful death. And maybe because they both were people of Black Marsh, he could be a good friend.  
Derkeethus shrugged, and shook the Dragonborn's hand.

“To Oblivion and back, as they say.”

Karmyn grinned, and took his map.

“Now come with me. Better get you some good gear, if you want to fight dragons.”

Something in Derkeethus made him wish he'd never have accepted this guy's proposition. But hey...at least he would be going somewhere with his life.  
That could even be fun.


	2. Whiterun

When the Dragonborn opened his eyes, it was already nightfall. Around him, the familiar houses of Whiterun had spawned, just like each time he was using fast travel. Behind, Derkeethus was looking around with suspicion, the few passerbys returning the stares. He didn't seem to notice the fact Karmyn just seemed to have teleported, rather believing they just walked all the way from Darkwater Pass to here.  
They all believed it.

“Glad to be back home.”, Karmyn commented. 

The two Argonians walked to the small house next to the Warmaiden's. After a short loading screen, the familiar heat of the ever-lasting fire greeted them.  
Breezehome was, as usual, warm and welcoming. Karmyn had bought all the possible upgrades from Proventus Avenicci, turning the old cottage into a nice little nest. Several items, such as plates and goblets, had fallen on the ground, or were scattered in corners, sometimes piled hastily out of the way. On the table next to the bookshelf was a small collection of nice tokens: a golden statue of Dibella, a shiny red dynamo core from a Dwemer machine, and an empty Black Star. The weapon stands and plaques were bearing rare and magic tools, including weapons given by Daedric princes. But what made this place really unique was this feeling of being at home; something Karmyn hadn't felt in a good while, always being on the road.  
He invited his friend to enter. 

“Have a seat, I have to store some of this stuff.”

Derkeethus sat in front of the cooking pot, looking around him. Despite being messy, this house was kind of nice. Better than the tent he usually slept in.  
Karmyn meddled with the cupboard, storing some loot in there. The clanking of bones and metal could be heard as he picked up some ores from the drawer, mumbling about how good it felt to have this weight off.  
Closing the drawer, he went upstairs.

“Be right back.”

The green-scaled Argonian made no commentary other than a muttered “as you wish”. Karmyn walked to his bedroom, and opened the large chest next to his bed.  
The vanilla storage system was a mess to work with, as there was no item sorting whatsoever. But Karmyn had his habits, and he was okay with the current mechanics. Switching his usual Glass Sword for an Ebony one, he retrieved as well the old armor he was looking for. It was kinda dusty, but there was nothing a good upgrade couldn't fix. He put it in his inventory as he sheathed his new weapon.  
Downstairs, Derkeethus hadn't moved, simply warming his feet at the low fire. Something good was cooking in that pot, but he wasn't a thief. Plus, it was very rude to eat in one's house without being invited to.  
Karmyn climbed down the stairs, or rather jumped from the upper floor as usual. That startled Derkeethus, who hissed in surprise.

“Sorry.”, Karmyn said. “Didn't mean to scare ya.”

“Don't do that again.”

Karmyn rolled his eyes, although it was hard to tell seeing his lack of pupils.

“Follow me, friend. We have some errands to run.”

Derkeethus shrugged his disbelief away, following the Dragonborn out of the house.  
The sky was still clear, although it was too late for the Warmaiden's to be open. But Karmyn was free to use the outside forge, just like anyone else who'd clean up afterwards. Leaning over the workbench, he took the Glass Armor from his inventory, and gave it a few hammer pats. Good thing he had piled up on the malachite during some earlier raids. With his 100-point Smiting skill, he had no trouble raising the armor's level from Epic to Legendary. With the boots, the gauntlets and the helmet, Karmyn now had a nice-leveled Glass set. Quitting the workbench, he turned to Derkeethus, who was sitting on the anvil, waiting for orders.

“What is it?”, the curvy-horned Argonian asked.

“I just need to trade some things with you.”

“Alright. What do you need me to carry?”

From what Karmyn knew, Derkeethus was skilled in One-handed fight, just like himself. Good thing he had kept his old weapons. Going through his old inventory, he handed over the full set of Glass armor.

“Here, you can wear it.”

Searching through his list of weapons, he retrieved his old Elven Sword, the one he had stolen from Dragonsreach ages ago. It had nice stats and a classic Silent Moons enchantment, although carrying it was too risky. Karmyn also gave Derkeethus his Nightingale Bow and a set of Dwarven arrows. 

“You'll need that gear too. It's not perfect, but it'll suit your fighting style.”

But Derkeethus hadn't moved. He was looking at the shiny blue and gold armor, as though he had never seen something like it in his life. Karmyn, for a second, got worried he'd hate it, or start saying how he didn't need it.

“You...don't like it?”, he asked, worried.

Derkeethus looked up at him. His expression was neutral, but he clearly was happy, Karmyn could feel it. But he only got relieved when Derkeethus started smiling.

“It's...wonderful. Thank you, my friend.”

“Heh...I was scared you wouldn't like it.”

“That's not what I mean...just that I've never seen such a valuable garment.”

“Oh, don't worry about the price. If that's gold you're worried about, I have enough to buy every single house in Whiterun if I wanted to.”

Karmyn smiled, narrowing the orange patches around his eyes. 

“You should put it on. A dragon could suddenly attack the city, you'd be ready to fight.”

“A...dragon?”, Derkeethus stuttered.

“It's very rare, though. Never happened in Whiterun, or at least not when I was here.”

The other Argonian nodded. He then looked at the armor suit he was still holding, then at Karmyn, and around the forge. His tail was moving nervously.

“Oh, right...”, Karmyn said, reading the other's emotions. “Sorry.”

He turned around, letting his friend take off his miner clothes, and put on the armor suit.  
Despite being made of metal and glass, it was really light. While he expected to be cut from everywhere, seeing the sharp edges, nothing the like did happen. It was even sort of soft inside, the leather having been worn to the point it was perfectly shaped like an Argonian's shoulders. This thought made an odd feeling arise in Derkeethus's mind, but he brushed it off. It was a nice gift, and he shouldn't be picky about it. He quickly put on the rest of the armor set, and put the Elven Sword into its sheath. 

“Done.”

Karmyn turned around, and had an admirative glance. 

“It really suits you.”, he smiled. 

He looked up at the moons. There wasn't any clouds in the sky, and the few stars out there were shining brightly. He was starting to feel tired.

“I think I'm gonna head to bed, now.”, Karmyn yawned. “Tomorrow's a big day. I heard about someplace where I could get a new Word of Power.”

Derkeethus didn't understand what he meant by “word of power”, but he agreed. He liked the promise of adventure, and this guy sure smelled of it.  
Karmyn headed towards Breezehome, but suddenly stopped, and turned to his follower.

“So...guess you'll return to Darkwater Crossing?”

Derkeethus nodded. 

“Kinda far from here… Why don't you stay for the night? I have a spare bedroom.”

The offer was really nice, and Derkeethus considered it for a second. But something made him deny. Karmyn had been very nice with him since the start, setting him free, offering him new opportunities, and giving him powerful gear, although they barely knew each other. Was he this nice to everyone he came across? He must have done lots of great things for the Jarl to grant him a house in the city. Why would Derkeethus think he was an exception to Karmyn's generosity?  
But still...he didn't want to abuse of it. Not when he was in his debt.

“I'm afraid I have to deny.”, he answered. “But...I'll be there in the morning, when you need me.”

Something made his Hist-brother's blank eyes dim with an emotion he didn't fully grasp. Karmyn kept silent for a moment, then sighed in surrender.

“Alright...be safe on the road.”

“As always.”

Karmyn smiled, then returned back home, not without a last glance at his follower. But he kept smiling sadly, closing the door behind him.  
Once alone, Derkeethus sighed. It was really late, and he didn't quite feel as he'd hike all the way around the mountains. Plus, it was kind of stupid to deny a good bed when all he had known in the past years was a tent and a bedroll. But he remained a man of pride, and would not get back on his words.  
Counting his gold coins, he headed towards the Bannered Mare. Maybe there were still some warm beds left.


	3. Ironbind Barrow

When Karmyn woke up, he was feeling Well Rested. Nothing like a good night of sleep to give a starting bonus for the day, even though last time he went to bed, he ended up in a shack with the leader of the Dark Brotherhood forcing him to kill one out of three people. Those were the old days.  
Putting on his Dragonscale armor, taking some arrows from the weapon chest, he jumped down the stairs, peeking at his objectives. There was the main quest to be completed, but he didn't feel like it today. Alduin and the Greybeards could wait a little, even years if Karmyn wanted.  
Stepping outside of Breezehome, breathing in the morning air, he first went to the forge, to melt some of the ores he found. Being one of Adrienne's best customers, he could haggle good prices by selling all those Dwemer metal ingots he didn't need.  
As he shoved some coal into the smelter, he wondered where Derkeethus could be. He had said he would be there by the next morning, but there was no sign of the green-scaled Argonian around. Karmyn was no man to worry a lot, but still, if something had happened to his friend…  
His stomach growled. That made him remember he hadn't eaten anything but potions in a while, and he'd really enjoy a good meal. He headed towards the marketplace, although there was no one working at this still early hour. But he knew where he could get a nice apple pie.  
Entering the Bannered Mare, he got the greetings of Sinmir, Capitain of Whiterun's Guard, sitting on his bench as usual. Relying on the wooden pillar, Mikael made a sarcastic remark that didn't affect Karmyn at all; things had always been kind of chilly between them, although not yet cold. Turning to the counter, the Dragonborn went to talk to Hulda, the proprietor, but someone was already doing so.

“Come on, that's all I've got!”, the Argonian with curved horns said in a pitiful manner.

“Prices are prices. You barely had enough to pay your room, so don't expect breakfast to be included. I have more serious patrons to serve.”

Karmyn rolled his eyes with a smile, and walked forward.

“Hey there, Derkeethus.”

The startled reptilian turned around at the call of his name.

“You...you're here?”

“I could ask the same question, you know.”

Hulda's glare switched between the two Argonians, before ending on the Dragonborn.

“Is this one bothering you? I swear, I almost had a heart attack when he came out of nowhere last evening...”

“It's fine. He's with me.”

Karmyn searched through his inventory, and took a pile of wood.

“Else, I have some firewood to sell, just as you asked.”

Her face suddenly shifted in expression.

“Oh, thank you. Honest gold for honest work.”, she said while giving Karmyn a small coin purse.

As she went to store the firewood, Karmyn sat next to Derkeethus. He didn't really understand why he would have bothered renting a room here if he could have slept at his place, but he wasn't angry about it. In fact, he was even kind of amused. Derkeethus certainly hadn't wanted to trail all the way back to Darkwater Crossing, but hadn't wanted to swallow his pride either and accept the Dovahkiin's invitation.

“So...stirring trouble in inns?”, Karmyn asked.

“I...I swear I didn't-”

“Hey, easy. It's okay. I've been doing that too.”

Karmyn took the money he just got from Hulda, as well as a thousand gold coins from his own funds, and handed it to Derkeethus.

“I told you, money isn't a problem with me. I don't want people to think of you as a beggar or as a thief. Especially...”

He lowered his voice, looking around.

“Well...you know how some people consider we natives of Black Marsh.”

Derkeethus nodded.

“But hey, no need to worry about that.”, Karmyn said cheerfully with his usual tones. “Now, let's get some grub. I bet you haven't eaten anything yet. What would you want?”

The green-scaled Argonian didn't look at Karmyn in the eyes. His eyelids were lowered in shame, and his tail was stiff in uneasiness.  
Karmyn honestly wished Derkeethus would be a little more open about his feelings. Of course, Argonians could rely on body language and even the slightest cues to convey and read emotions between each other, but it wasn't the same as honest talk. Karmyn could understand that his friend was more of an introvert, but never would he let their relationship be unbalanced by matters such as debt and superiority. Not if that made him feel bad.

“Hey.”

Karmyn had called gently, putting a hand on Derkeethus's shoulder, who turned around to face him.

“If something's wrong, all you have to do is tell me. You know I'm not expecting you to pay me back or anything, right?”

Derkeethus still said nothing, but nodded in understanding, making Karmyn slightly grin.

“I'm glad we settled on this. Hulda, please give us two of your best apple pies, and some meat for the road. We got a long day ahead of us.”

The warm scent of baked dough soon went to tickle their nostrils. As the two friends were eating, chatting about trivial things such as pickaxe fighting techniques, a courier came in, and walked straight to Karmyn.

“I've been looking for you. Got something I'm supposed to deliver. Your hands only.”

And he handed him a letter.

“Who's that from?”, Karmyn asked after a sip of mead.

“Dunno. A friend, they said. Well, that's all I got.”

Karmyn read it as he went away, and smiled.

“Knew they'd tell me where it was.”, he muttered, before standing up and finishing his mead bottle. “Come, friend. We have work to do.”

Leaving some coins on the counter, he stepped outside the inn, Derkeethus following him. After a loading screen, Karmyn looked at his map.

“Ironbind Barrow. That's somewhere southwest of Winterhold. We can get there from Wayward Pass.”

“That's quite far.”

Karmyn grinned.

“You tell me.”

The second later, the town faded to black.  
Karmyn had never bothered to know where did this ability come from. To travel everywhere at will, as long as it was from the outside and to a place he's already been to. While he was in this sort of black universe between all the places in Skyrim, he could see lots of things. Words, coming and floating away, teaching him about events of the past, about his skills, about almost all the creatures of this land. He could also see faint pictures of weapons and armor, people and creatures, statues and various objects. There also was this number above him, next to a blueish bar which often varied in length. Right now, it was showing 48, the blue bar being rather short. He never truly grasped the meaning of it, but had noticed it was always increasing.  
Like his ability to stop time when he was looking for an item, for the correct spell or for a place on the map, there were things that Karmyn couldn't explain. He just put it as a side effect of being the Dragonborn, and didn't bother any further with it.  
The snow wind chilled him as his feet touched solid ground again. Next to him, Derkeethus looked as if they had just ran a marathon all the way from Whiterun, although he did his best not to show it. Also, Frost was there, a faithful steed that followed Karmyn everywhere he traveled to, although he wasn't as fast as the dark-looking Shadowmere, who was currently taking a rest at the Riften stables.

“The Barrow isn't far.”, Karmyn said while getting on his horse. “All we have to do is go down the mountain slope.”

Derkeethus looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“That'd be hard for me to follow, don't you think?”

“Oh, fine.”, Karmyn shrugged. “Only 'cause it's you.”

The two men went by foot, hiking down the mountain side. Good thing they were on a set path, else Karmyn would have spent countless hours trying to deal with the rocks and how they looked like a shortcut, but weren't anything close to that.

“Are we there yet?”, Derkeethus asked. “It's cold.”

“'Course it is, we're near the big north. Here, have a potion of Resist Frost, but I don't know if that'll help.”

As he walked, Derkeethus drank from the tiny vial he was given, and almost spitted it out.

“Tastes like...a weird mix of moon sugar and frost mirriam.”

“What if told you it _is_ moon sugar and mirriam? That's one of my personal brews.”

Derkeethus had a weird face.

“Wait, so...you brew your potions yourself?”

“Some of them. Most of the time, I end up creating weird mash-ups of potions and poisons that just take up place.”

Derkeethus whistled in admiration.

“I never got the hang of Alchemy and those kinds of stuff. You sure are skilled. I can barely feel the wind anymore.”

“Yeah. Who knew a simple guy like me could brew a successful potion?”

Karmyn wasn't arrogant or ironic when he said those kinds of things. Besides the fact he was the only hope of Skyrim, according to some prophecy made up by the Greybeards, along with a never-ending list of titles and honorific roles, he never used it to brag or to make himself feel superior. Well, unless it was absolutely needed, but otherwise he was quite humble. Sometimes he liked to think he had seen enough zealotry, worship, hate and mistrust from others for the rest of his life. Whenever it was possible, he always chose to hide his status of Dragonborn. Of course, Derkeethus didn't know, and that was for the greater good. If people wanted to be grateful to him, it would be for his good actions, and not because of what some monks said he was or would have to do.  
There are times he wished to be a truly simple guy. An Argonian among many others, without anything special. No prophecy, no dragons, no cursed voice. He'd maybe have gotten married, started a family business, and lived a rather happy life.  
But then...there would be something missing.

“I think that's the place.”, Derkeethus's voice commented, bringing Karmyn back from his thoughts.

The entrance of a cave, near an abandoned small campsite. Karmyn's looter instincts made him scout the possible abandoned bags and chests around.

“Should we get in?”, Derkeethus asked.

Karmyn drew his Ebony Sword, giving a few slashes in the wind.

“Totally.”

The cave had its walls covered in ice, and a very cold wind was trailing through. There were Frostbite Spiders at every corner, and more than once did Karmyn got poisoned. But he was used to it.  
Walking on the narrow paths dug in the ice, the two Argonians were paying close attention to their surroundings. As they encountered Draugr, those zombie-like revenants shouting at them, Karmyn knew he was close to the Word of Power. Only a matter of rooms.

“You alright, friend?”, he asked to Derkeethus, who had fallen on his knee.

“Yeah...I'm gonna get better. No big deal.”

But Karmyn knew a big deal when he saw one. Kneeling at his friend's height, he put his left palm on his shoulder, and used a Healing Hands spell. It took some seconds, but Derkeethus could stand up again, his scars healed.

“That felt...refreshing.”, he commented. “So now you're telling me you do priest magic?”

“Oh, I know some tricks.”, Karmyn shrugged.

To show him, he summoned his familiar, a ghost-looking wolf by the name of Seeker. It earned this nickname as it would always spring towards foes, seeking for evil to destroy.

“Nice dog.”

Seeker howled, and ran to a deeper part of the cave. Karmyn drew his sword while Derkeethus readied his arrows, assuring a back-up defense. The few remaining creatures were destroyed in a matter of seconds.

“Hey, look, a helmet!”, Derkeethus exclaimed, once the way has been cleared. “That's unusual.”

They were in front of a locked gate, with no handles or levers whatsoever. Only a Steel helmet standing on a pedestal. Derkeethus went to pick it up, but something made Karmyn's defensive instincts suddenly arise. There was a weird feeling in the air, a feeling of danger. Something along the lines of a trap.  
As Derkeethus took the helmet in hand, the clanking of metal made itself heard.

“Watch out!”, Karmyn called.

The blue-scaled Argonian grabbed his follower by the hand, and pulled him back, away from the metal spears that thrust out of the ground, piercing the air where Derkeethus was standing half a second ago. They both fell on the stone ground, quite shaken, but still intact.  
Derkeethus took some seconds to realize what had just happened, looking at the helmet, at the now-open gate, and at Karmyn.

“You...just saved my life.”

“You're welcome. Now let's get going.”

Karmyn stood up, offered a hand to his friend, and they continued. Soon, they reached a large room, filled with Draugr. That's when Karmyn heard it.  
The familiar choir.

“We're close!”, he said happily. “Now watch out, there has to be some kind of monster leader around here.”

As their blades sliced through the air, falling on undead bones and shields, Derkeethus saw one of the Draugr had a different aura, a different strength than the other. That was the one! Without a doubt, he rushed to it, and his Elven blade fell on ancient Nord armor. The Draugr Warlord replied with a swing of its sword, which made Derkeethus stagger. Then, it uttered a series of words, that Derkeethus couldn't understand; but it was just as if the power of its voice had thrown him away. Trying to stand up, to understand what was going on, Derkeethus saw Karmyn, breaking the neck of a Draugr, running to the Warlord…  
...and shouting the same unholy words, that made the evil creature fly across the room.

“Are you alright?”

Derkeethus shook his head, looking up at Karmyn. The Draugr had all been defeated, and he didn't understand anything anymore.

“What...what was that thing?”, he asked, trying to hide the scared incomprehension in his voice.

“What thing?”

“That...the...what you just did! You...you shouted something and...”

“Oh, that.”

Karmyn didn't look much at ease, as if this was something he would not rather explain.

“Well...it's something I can do. But I can show you, just follow me.”

He helped him stand up, and together they walked to the Word Wall.  
Derkeethus saw the weird symbols engraved in the stone, and how they weren't like any other alphabet he had ever seen in his life. But Karmyn looked at the huge words as if he could actually read them, even muttering words that sounded harsh and violent, even for one who knew Argonian language. One word among the others seemed to get his particular attention.

“What...what does it say?”, Derkeethus asked nervously.

Karmyn grinned, and read out loud what seemed to be a translation of the cuneiform words.

“Noble Nords remember these words of the hoar father. It is duty of each man to live with courage and honor lest he _fade_ unremembered into darkness.”

As he read it aloud, something happened. The one words among the others began to glow of a bright blue, rays of energy coming out of it like fireballs, surrounding Karmyn's body in a sky-like halo. And as he read that one word aloud, the glow became brighter, to a point where everything around became like blurred. Derkeethus closed his eyes, fearing to be blinded by this power. But then, he felt the energy evaporating itself, and peeked though his fingers.  
Karmyn looked as if he had just understood something new.

“Oh, yes. I have been wanting to get that one.”, he muttered.

He then turned to Derkeethus, who seemed less scared than before, although still quite unsettled. He made his best to sound reassuring.

“That 'thing' as you called it...that was a Shout. It's...something I can do. Like really cool powers I get by reading words out of those stone walls. Don't worry, it's just some kind of advanced magic. That's a thing you can learn. Nothing dangerous.”

Derkeethus felt relieved. For a moment, he had feared this would get him in trouble, like a secret truth he didn't have the right to find out.

“Now, how about we get out of here and try to find an arcane table? This helmet must have some good enchantment on it.”

They climbed some wooden stairs, then crossed a barred door. Once outside, Karmyn breathed in the night air, gazing at the sky. The green northern lights were shining brightly, and the largest of the twin moons was almost full. Making some steps in the snow, the two Argonians watched this amazing sight for almost a full minute, an instant of peace after all this fighting.  
That was something worth fighting for.

“We should get back in town, no?”, Derkeethus asked.

“Yeah, sure. After a minute.”

He went to reply something, but his words were cut short by a distant sound. A deep, familiar, unmistakable sound that made Karmyn's blood rush.  
The roar of a dragon.

“Quick! If we hurry we can still catch it!”, he said as he jolted down the mountain slope.

Derkeethus followed as fast as he could, wondering what was going on. A dragon, in this part of Skyrim? That was something crazy…  
But then, he saw it. He saw the silhouette of the gigantic creature, a black figure cut in the colorful night sky. He saw its massive green body hovering dangerously close to them. And he heard Karmyn using another Shout to bring it down.  
With a heavy noise, the dragon landed in the snow, and roared at them. Karmyn switched his sword for his Mace of Molag Bal, charged some Soul Gems into it, and Shouted into battle.  
Blood Dragons were strong, but Karmyn had seen even more powerful foes in his life, and had vanquished them all without a problem. As his weapon swished and swing through the air and on the beast's hard scaled, his deepest feelings started to rise. He didn't like dragons, nor did he hate them, because what he was truly feeling was something that could not be described by such concepts. It was as if he was deliberately killing his own brothers and sisters, murdering creatures he both hated and loved, doing something he both wanted and didn't want to do. He shared the soul of the dragons, shared their knowledge, their Voice, their language. He even shared their scales, their horns and their warm blood. He was the Dovahkiin, a dragon in the body of a mortal, a beastfolk with a dragon's soul. Both their friend and their enemy, he could never hope being solely either.  
The dragon's body finally collapsed with a loud crash, blowing clouds of fresh snow around. Derkeethus tried to catch his breath as he sheathed his sword, looking at the dragon's body with anxiety.

“Is...is it dead?”, he asked.

“Only one way to know.”

Karmyn approached the corpse, looted the bones and the scales out of it, and put his hand on the dragon's head. Then, it began.  
Parts of the dragon's skin started to turn to ashes, like burnt paper. Soon after, the skeleton of the beast was showing, under Derkeethus's scared eyes. The figure of the reptile soon became no more than a gigantic flame, burning in the night like a bonfire. Trails of powerful energy slashed around the remains, a light even more brighter than the one from the Word Wall. All of a sudden, the blast of power rushed towards Karmyn.  
Before Derkeethus could do anything to help him, Karmyn's body became a pure concentrate of light and energy. It was as if his very soul was opening itself, revealing his immense power, a power so grand it could destroy everything it desired. The light coming from the dragon merged with it, slowly enough for Derkeethus to see something he didn't believe at first: Karmyn was really enjoying it.  
As the light faded, his face could clearly be seen wearing an expression of pure bliss. It was as if pure pleasure had been directly injected into his veins, melting his brain into a puddle of confused thoughts, only focused on getting more of that feeling from where it came. But it wore away soon, as the dragon soul got totally absorbed within Karmyn's.  
The latter shook his body a little, as to wake himself up from a trance. Derkeethus hadn't stopped looking at him, something in his eyes revealing his disbelief, his worry, his amazement and his fear.

“Wh...what in Tamriel just happened?”, he exclaimed loudly. “What in the name of the nine Divines did you just do?”

Karmyn blinked, regaining some composure. He knew he made a mistake by letting him see this.

“Oh...well, that's...something that happens.”

“'Something that happens'? You just...you ate its soul! You ate its soul, for the Hist's sake! How...how did you...”

He stopped, but Karmyn did not reply. Suddenly, the light of understanding lit up in Derkeethus's green eyes. Of course.

“You...you are the Dragonborn, right? The one everyone is talking about?”

That was to be expected, anyway. Karmyn had known he'd had to tell him the truth sooner or later. Afterall, everyone always made a big deal about this stupid power he never asked to be born with. And now, Derkeethus would surely hate him, calling him a liar and a brag. But it was all to be expected.

“Listen.”, Karmyn calmly said, in the fed up tones of one who had been through this countless times. “I know this might seem shocking, but...you're right. I am the Dragonborn. I'm the one everyone keeps calling a hero, a savior, the one to is to defeat Alduin, and so on. I know what you're going to say, I know exactly how you're going to react, and I know you're gonna return home saying you don't wanna be-”

“What the Oblivion are you talking about? This is so great!”

“And now, you'll want to hate me for being over-powered, saying that- wait.”

Karmyn looked at his friend.

“...'great'?”

The light of understanding in his eyes had become a bright fire. The way his tail moved, his fingers were folded, his nostrils open. Those were the signs of excitement.

“You...honestly think that's great? You're not angry?”

“Indeed it is! Just look at what you did with that dragon! That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life! You can kill dragons and...absorb their souls, just like that! You're the Dragonborn, and yet...”

His voice became less excited, and more quiet.

“And yet...you're not what I expected the Dragonborn to be.”

Karmyn didn't understand.

“You see...”, Derkeethus went on, “...for some reason, I've always thought heroes were those arrogant, self-centered people who always brag about how strong they are, and how they'll save the world. But you're not like that. You're nothing like that.”

The excitation gradually got replaced with something Karmyn didn't decipher at first.

“You're brave, yet you're...just a simple guy. You can talk with people without ever treating them as inferiors. You have a lot of skills, but you don't even care. You just...do your thing, that's all. And that's what I find amazing with you.”

Derkeethus smiled, and his body rendered his emotions differently. Admiration.

“I can't count the time you have saved my life. But never you had expressed the slightest superiority over me. You're so humble. You never have claimed to be stronger, smarter, quicker than me...or never accused me of being too weak.”

Insecurity. Anxiety.

“That's why I think it's great you're the Dragonborn.”

The negative feelings disappeared, and the green fire burnt stronger than ever.

“Because if the world has to be saved by a single person, it has to be you.”

Karmyn got overflowed with a sudden feeling of embarrassment. Derkeethus was telling the truth, he could feel it. He could feel what this all meant, for both of them. This didn't made him feel more or less important as before, but now his role as Dovahkiin was shining in a new light. He could see it from another angle, and that made him think a lot.  
After a moment, he reached out his hand.

“Alright. I'll save the world. But you come with me.”

Derkeethus looked at him, then at his hand. He seemed hesitant, but Karmyn made his best to inspire confidence within him. Derkeethus nodded, and took Karmyn's hand.

“Count me in. Afterall, not everyone has the chance to fight with the best hero ever.”

“Oh, I'll add that title to my never-ending list of honors.”

“Don't you brag about it. Not after all the stuff I've said about being a hero.”

“Who are you to give orders to the Dovahkiin himself, Stormblade of the Stormcloak camp...”

“Stop it.”

“...Listener of the Night Mother, leader of the Nightingales...”

“Oh, come on.”

Derkeethus chuckled as Karmyn kept enumerating his titles, and burst into laughter as he started inventing silly and surrealistic ones such as “Knight of the Mudcrabs of Pelagia Farm” or “President of the Riverwood Chickens' Defense Comitee”. Now that Karmyn didn't have to worry about lying anymore, he was both relieved about Derkeethus's reaction, and about the bond they were starting to form.  
This ought to be the beginning of a great friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize I don't know how the fuck his name is pronounced. Is it Kar-meen? Kar-mine?  
> Let's say it's pronounced Kar-miun or something silly like that.


	4. Markarth

“Give my regards to the Companions.”, the old man said.

“I will. See ya.”

As Ogmund went away, Karmyn waving slightly at him, Derkeethus sighed.

“Remind me why we agreed to save that idiot again?”

“It's my duty as a Companion. Well, at least that's what they told me to do.”

The two Argonians sat on the stone bed of Markarth's canal, their feet in the water, eating a couple apples. Karmyn had been asked by Vilkas to save a kidnapped citizen from Tovald's Cave, an abandoned redoubt that became a nest of Falmer and Chauruses. They nearly got lost trying to find the exit, before resigning and tracing their steps back to the entrance. But the loot could wait a little. What mattered was, Ogmund had returned to Markarth safe and sound. All Karmyn had yet to do was report to Vilkas in Whiterun, but that could wait.  
Today was a sunny day of First Seed. There weren't any dragons around, and not much to do. To keep his fighting skills sharp, Karmyn had decided to train with the Companions, doing some missions for them in exchange of training. He really liked the atmosphere of kinship and fraternity among the Companions, and was proud to be a part of it. Well, he technically was still a little rookie, but he was part of the brotherhood nonetheless. Helping people who needed it, without asking for anything in return, was a life style Karmyn really liked. 

“I thought you weren't the kind to be bossed around.”, Derkeethus commented.

“There's a difference between doing some missions and being an obedient little pup. If I was truly bossed around, as you say, I'd have reported long ago.”

“So?”

Karmyn yawned, and laid down on the sun-heated stones.

“As you can see, I'm not. I'm nowhere close to standing up, riding all the way to Whiterun and tell that wolf-head I've done my job. Too hot to work.”

Derkeethus cackled. 

“You sure put a lot of effort into your duties.”

“There are times the world could be collapsing I wouldn't care.”

“That's pretty much the current situation. I mean...the dragons and everything. Pretty much the end of the world.”

“Pretty much indeed.”

Derkeethus didn't really understand Karmyn's laid-back attitude about something as grave as the dragons. Did this guy really have no concerns at all? He had known people who liked to joke about the return of the dragons, never without fear, but Karmyn was the only one who seemed not to care at all. Of course, he had always fought off the dragons and protected the citizens they have attacked, but it was as if his general preoccupations were completely elsewhere.  
There were a lot of things Derkeethus still had to understand about the Dragonborn. Not that Karmyn helped in any way. The guy didn't like to talk about himself, didn't seem to have opinions on anything specific (although he was more of a Stormcloak-siding type) and spent more time solving people's personal problems than doing his duty of dragon slayer. He was a living, breathing mystery, cloaked in carelessness with a pinch of sass.  
Some minutes passed when neither of them spoke anything, as the water cooled down their feet and the sun made their scales dry. There were times like this, when none of them would say anything, let alone give away their mood through body cues. Karmyn probably liked the sound of silence, although the voices of the passerby's, the running water and the sound of the nearby forge were nothing like silence. And though Derkeethus was easily pissed off by those times, wishing Karmyn could at least stop looking so blank-faced (although his pale blue eyes made it hard to tell from usual) and do something...there were moments where he could understand. He could understand there was some peace to be found in silence, as of a strange and foreign kind of meditation. Though most of the time, he was either annoyed by it, or fearing Karmyn might have died of a sudden heart attack or something.  
But those instants quickly passed. Suddenly, Karmyn shook his head, as if he just woke up from an odd comatose state.

“I need to train in Two-handed.”, he said out of the blue.

Derkeethus glared at him, startled by this sudden decision.

“Why that? You only ever use bows and swords.”

“I feel like I have to. I must be trained to fight with all kinds of weapons. _Pah zunne_. Raise my skills, get it?”

He stood up, as if motivated by something Derkeethus couldn't understand.

“Truth is...I don't have an appropriate weapon right now. But I have some materials.”

He ran up the stone stairs of Markarth, Derkeethus barely having time to follow him before he could get out of sight. The blacksmith wasn't far away from them, good thing.  
As he climbed the many stairs of the vertical city, Derkeethus caught a glimpse of the magnificent view it offered. He could see most of the Dwemer architecture from above, a truly breathtaking sight that made his hope arise. The water was running smoothly in a beautiful cascade that he really wished to dive into, if that wouldn't break his skull.  
Skyrim did was an interesting place to see, to live in, when seen from this perspective. At Karmyn's side, Derkeethus had traveled to all sorts of places, met all sorts of people, fought all sorts of enemies in the span of a few days. But who knew how many times Karmyn had saved this world from doom, and how many times he'd need to do it again? This last thought made doubts form in the Argonian's mind.  
The screeching of a grindstone brought him back to reality. Following the noise, he found Karmyn sharpening his Ebony Sword.

“Had an ingot in my stuff. Want me to increase one of yours?”

“No, thanks. But please, could you stop disappearing like that? I have troubles keeping up with you.”

“Sorry. I got used to sprint, even to travel two yards.”

Standing up, Karmyn went to talk to the blacksmith, an Orc woman by the name of Ghorza, needing to buy some malachite. Derkeethus sat on a rocky edge, sighing with a smile as he looked at his friend. Karmyn had his own logic, his own reason, his own ways of thinking. Trying to understand them would be madness, or at least very tiring. The Dragonborn had the skill to both stay true to his beliefs and play the adversary's pet to get the most from them. He took whatever he was offered without bothering to ask who it came from or why. He could both say what the others wanted to hear and clearly state what he thought of them in the same sentence. And, even if he did play everyone's little helper, he would never let himself get used. That was one of many reasons Derkeethus thought of Karmyn as the greatest person he'd ever met.

“Hey, Derkeethus.”

Karmyn's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

“Follow me. I found ourselves a nice quest.”

Derkeethus stood up, asking him what it was.

“The blacksmith wants us to find a book on smiting for her apprentice. Bet she'll pay some coin.”

“Oh, well. That's still something. So, where do we have to go?”

Karmyn stayed silent for a second, then life came back in his eyes.

“Fort Sungard.”

The second after, they ended up there. Derkeethus didn't remember the travel they made, even though he tried to. His body was tired, so they must have walked a lot. He glanced at the stone fort, nervous.

“But...isn't that an Imperial-controlled fort? You're friends with Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak, they'll kill you for sure!”

“Nah, don't worry. Sungard's been taken care of a long time ago.”

Indeed, soldiers wearing the Stormcloaks' blue armor were patrolling around the fort. This “quest” couldn't have been easier. All they had to do was to enter the fort's living quarters, greet some guards, and take the book from the table. 

“That's how you earn easy money. And access to Orc Strongholds too.”, Derkeethus commented.

“Yeah. Would have expected my Smiting skill to rise, though.”, Karmyn said as he was reading the book. “It looks like a tale.”

He sat on an empty guard's bed, reading the pages. Derkeethus sat next to him, trying to read over his shoulder, but Karmyn preferred to grin as he read it aloud to him.  
“The last Scabbard of Akrash” was a story of revenge, honor and love. A mysterious killer, nicknamed “the Lopper”, was killing slavers across a city of Morrowind, which started to bother a major slave-trader by the name of Minegaur. The man often joked about how he would lop the killer by himself with his blade, Akrash. But little did he knew that his own daughter, Peliah, was stealing the sword every night and giving it to her Khajit lover, a slave named Kazagh, who had sworn to execute all the slavers in the city. But one time, Kazagh got gravely injured, and barely could make it to Peliah's house before dying. When Minegaur saw him, thinking he would kill his daughter with his own blade, he killed Kazagh with it. Peliah, out of rage, thrusted Akrash into her father's heart, making it the blade's last scabbard.  
When Karmyn finished reading, Derkeethus looked at the book with a weird expression.

“This is pure nonsense. Why would she kill her father? Why would she even bother giving in into the Khajit's slave-freeing madness?”

Karmyn shrugged.

“ _Ni mindok._ Maybe that's because she loved him.”

Karmyn put the book in his inventory, and walked out of the fort. Behind him, Derkeethus was still asking questions. He did not like being faced with something he couldn't understand.

“That doesn't make any sense. Why would love make her kill her own father?”

Karmyn stopped for a moment, and turned to him.

“You know...people aren't always reasonable when they're in love. They can do things they'd never do otherwise. Sometimes mad things. And we can't explain that.”

“Why so?”

“Cause...oh, I don't know. Why don't you rather ask me to explain Dovahzul grammar or adept Illusion spells? That would be a lot easier.”

As they traveled back to Markarth, Derkeethus thought more about this question. Could love really change people that much? Could it make people behave the complete opposite of themselves? What a concept.  
Then, another question popped in his head. Had Karmyn ever been in love? Of course, how else would he know how it made people feel. But he didn't seem like the kind of guy who'd fall for any pretty lass. Although his quirks were adorable, they would drive crazy whoever were to be committed with him. 

“Hey, pal.”, Karmyn called, once his talk with Ghorza finished. “Grab your stuff, it's time to go home. Still have to report to Vilkas.”

As Derkeethus followed him to the doors of Markarth, he thought about directly asking him. He wanted to know whether he'd ever loved someone or not. But for now, that could wait a little.  
Although knowing there once might have been someone...made Derkeethus quite uneasy, for a reason he didn't understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Pah zunne_ : "all weapons"  
>  _Ni mindok_ : "(do) not know"


	5. Riverwood

Some nights, Karmyn would have nightmares.  
He never was a great dreamer, for his nights were short, his sleep very light. He never felt there was anything wrong with that; as someone very demanded, he needed to be awake and ready in a matter of seconds. But there were times, especially after long missions and explorations, where his mind would play very dirty tricks on him.  
The nightmares were all the same. He would be there, fighting an enemy, a dragon or any creature, and he would die. He would be climbing a mountain, trying to escape danger, but he would fall and die. He would be out of healing potions, running across a corridor, walk on a trap and die. All he did in his dreams was dying. Eaten alive by a dragon, burned to the flesh by a spell, breaking his bones after an endless fall, his blood leashing out from his veins after an assassin's thrust, shouted to death by a Draugr.  
This wasn't just fear of death written into his subconscious, but something even more dreading. As if he had died all these times, and only in his sleep could he remember. He could feel the pain, the fear, the regret of not having done this or that, half a second before the final blow. And then, he would see his body falling onto the ground...and he would feel how painful it was at the same time. He was always scared, frightened by this sight. It was as if he saw himself from a stranger's perspective, whose sight would then get red and blurred and filled with sorrow; but then another scene of death would follow, and so on until Karmyn couldn't take it anymore.  
The Dragonborn suddenly woke up, grasping the bedfurs, a scream of pain stuck in his throat. His breathing was quick, hissed, filled with fear. His scales were moist from sweat, his body aching from everywhere, and the paralyzing visions of him dying still fresh in his mind.  
He tried to calm down. Readying a spell of Pacify, he tried to apply it to himself, but he was too high-leveled for it to work. But the smooth vibrating waves of familiar magic slightly appeased his mind.  
He never had known why he had all these nightmares. They all had happened in places he had been to, featuring people and creatures he had seen and fought. Sometimes, he would remember some of his treasure-hunting raids, all the traps he had avoided, knowing they'd be here, and compare them with dreams he had of dying by those same traps. There would always be this same feeling of déjà-vu, as if he had died a first time, then came back and lived, because he had _known_ how he died last time, without really knowing it…  
Karmyn ran his hands on his temples, trying to think clearly. He needed to relax. This would all pass later in the morning. Standing up, he walked to the table in a corner of his bedroom, plunged his hands in a bowl of water put there, and splashed some on his face. The cold liquid made his mind clearer, relieved out of his worries. This was just another nightmare. Nothing but a dream.  
His eyes fell upon the small mirror placed on the table. Karmyn wasn't the kind to stare at himself for Sithis knows how long, though he kind of needed to make sure he wasn't bleeding to death or anything.  
He never considered himself more attractive or uglier than anyone. His body had been healthily shaped by the fighting, the running and his habit to eat vegetable after vegetable to recover from an injury. He had a lot less curves as he used to, thanks to several years of potion treatment and magic-based changes that had made his life much better. Being the Dragonborn had altered his gender-shifting natural process, so he had to do it the long way. He had short spikes on his eyebrows and on the back of his head, which he had always found both cute and threatening. His face was a dark blue tint that matched his scales, except for orange patches around his pale eyes. A scar left by a wild beast's claws when he was young was still oh his cheek, and he liked the way it gave him a warrior's look.  
For some reason, seeing himself in full health, with no blood leaking out or apparent diseases, managed to make him feel safe. Everything was going to be alright.  
It was very early in the morning, but Karmyn didn't care. He put on his armor, took his weapons, and went out in the streets. There was no point waiting for the sun to come. He could start doing something without waiting for Derkeethus, then return to Whiterun to rest and have breakfast with him. That sounded nice.  
Still...what to do? He was bored as Oblivion. No shops were open at this early hour. No one in the streets but the guards, and they weren't the best chatters.  
Karmyn decided to take a walk outside the town. He liked the fresh air of the Hold, the sight of the vegetation and the few animals around. Following the path, without anywhere to go, he walked in a random direction, enjoying a calm break from his routine of Dovahkiin. The less he died, the less nightmares he'd have. That sounded fair to him.  
His promenade soon brought him to Riverwood, a small town known for its sacred chickens. That's when he ended after escaping the dragon attack of Helgen, at the very beginning of his life as Dragonborn, many lunar cycles ago. Karmyn was at times nostalgic of these days, and right now was no exception. He decided to head to the village, to remember what life was like when he hadn't learned how to Shout yet, or didn't even know he could do that. Back in the day where his priority was to get out of the Imperials' hands.  
The sun was rising slowly. Karmyn headed to the Sleeping Giant Inn, hoping he could maybe find some work to do. Usually there would be bounty letters left by patrons, or things the like for him to do.  
After Delphine had left, her friend Orgnar had run the inn. He pointed Karmyn to some far place where bandits had retreated, providing him with a bounty letter, and gave his own comments about how it has been a while since the Dragonborn last came to town.

“Oh, I follow my own adventures now.”, Karmyn replied. “You wouldn't know how many people have told me the same thing.”

Karmyn sat on a bench, warming his hands at the fire. That's when a fierce Nord wearing a Stormcloak cuirass came, sitting next to him.

“Hey, if it isn't the dear Stormblade! It's been a long time.”

“Hey there, Ralof.”

Karmyn shook hands with him. He remembered how Ralof had helped him escape during Alduin's attack, and how they have fought side by side during the liberation of Skyrim. A nice friend and a good fighter.

“So, guess you've been making yourself quite a reputation. They only talk about you, you know, for all kinds of reasons.”

“Oh, I guess I did some things around the corner. But honestly, I'm kind of tired of it. Came here to rest a little. Y'know, between beheading Imperials and killing dragons, I'd like to feel at home sometimes.”

“Damn right. I can't remember the last time I've visited home. Think I've forgotten what a proper bed looks like, let alone feels like.”

Orgnar, who was listening, gave a sarcastic laugh.

“You say that yet you sleep here every night. Watch out, wouldn't want the patrons to think bad about our beds.”

“Oh, come on, boys.”, Karmyn commented. “There's nothing wrong with anyone's bed here. No need to fight.”

“And what about yours, huh?”, Ralof asked with barely-hidden understatements. “Does the hero of Skyrim still sleeps alone? A guy like you sure must have all the ladies he wants. Even though you're a lizard.”

Karmyn rolled his eyes.

“What's wrong with being a lizard?”, he asked, sightly grinning. “Technically speaking, dragons are lizards too.”

“Hey, sorry, pal. That's just a joke.”

Karmyn didn't care about the slur at all, having heard worse, but it was a perfect way to dodge the question.

“Ah, love.”, Orgnar said. “Now I think about it, I think there's still this love triangle going on. You know, Faendal and Sven, both trying for Camilla's affections.”

“They still do?”, Ralof asked. “Boy, they'll never end with that. Bet Camilla is already seeing someone. Her brother barely cares about it anymore.”

“Sounds interesting.”, Karmyn commented. “That reminds me, I have some errands to run before going.”

Karmyn said goodbye to his friends, promising to come back once in a while, and went out of the inn. The sun was pretty high in the sky, although it only felt like minutes had passes in the inn, and Derkeethus was there.

“Oh. Hey there.”, Karmyn greeted. “For how long have you been waiting?”

“Just arrived. Something told me I'd find you here.”

Karmyn shrugged, and gave his friend a pat on the shoulder as they walked towards the Riverwood Trader.

“I think I'd have lots of trouble finding someone like you.”

He had intended to say “someone as faithful and devoted as you”, but that would have made Derkeethus think he was compared to a dog, and Karmyn didn't want him to think that. But something in Derkeethus's expression made clear he had not understood the message the way Karmyn intended, seeing how he was staring at him.

“...I mean, you're a really good friend, and I like how you always stick with me no matter what.”

The Argonian in Glass armor nodded slowly.

“That's alright, I just thought you...oh, nevermind.”

As they entered the Riverwood Trader, Lucan Valerius greeted them, thanking Karmyn for bringing the Golden Claw back to their family, even though that had been lunar cycles ago.

“That's my duty, Lucan. Say, would you like to buy some potions? Brewed them myself.”

As they made some affairs, Derkeethus turned to the two other people in the room. One was Lucan's sister, Camilla, busy with cooking some kind of soup in the pot in front of the chimney; the other was a Bosmer who was looking at her with sadness. Derkeethus sat next to him.

“Hello, friend. What's the matter?”

The Wood Elf looked at him with an almost poetic despair in his eyes.

“Oh, if you knew. There's beauty here unmatched in all of Skyrim, to be sure.”

His eyes looked sadly at Camilla, who was still stirring the cooking pot without looking at him. Derkeethus chuckled.

“Could it be you're interested in her?”

“You couldn't be closer to the truth. Alas, there is yet one problem I would like to be taken care of.”

Derkeethus looked at Karmyn, who was still bargaining prices to sell his poisonous potions.

“Go on.”, he told Faendal.

The Bosmer sighed.

“His name is Sven. He's a bard, so he says. Occasionally he finds time to do his job here at the mill. Thinks his ballads and sonnets are going to convince Camilla to marry him. As if she would say 'yes.' An intelligent, beautiful woman like her wouldn't fall for that nonsense... I hope.”

“And what do you plan to do about it?”

“I thought...maybe Camilla needs some help to see Sven for what he really is.”

He showed Derkeethus a neatly folded paper.

“Take this. I did my best to replicate this bard's lack of style. Give it to Camilla pretending it's from Sven.”

Derkeethus took the letter in hand, read it, then looked at Camilla.

“Friend. I don't know if you have noticed, but she's right there. Why don't you, I dunno...do it yourself?”

“Are you dumb? If I do so, she'll think I wrote this for to belittle Sven, and she'll get angry at me. Or worse, she could forbid me from seeing her ever again.”

“You know, I don't know if I'm qualified to do this. I think you should rather be honest about what you feel, rather than-”

“Derkeethus, you coming?”, Karmyn called.

Derkeethus turned to Faendal.

“I'll see what I can do, but don't you blame me if that doesn't work.”

The two Argonians proceeded out of the shop, Karmyn eating a sweetroll he just bought.

“What'ch that paper?”, he asked, his mouth full of pastry.

“Oh, nothing. Some guy asked me to deliver that to Camilla. Have it if you want.”

Karmyn took the letter, and read a splenderfully idiotic poem depicting Sven as a self-centered brag wanting Camilla to polish his armor and cook for him, written in a barbaric and grotesque style.

“Ah, yes. The love triangle. Well, that's still something to do.”

“You're not gonna give in to this Elf's game, are you?”

Karmyn walked back, but instead of returning to the shop, entered Sven's house.

“Why not?”

Derkeethus sighed heavily as Karmyn lockpicked the door, but followed him inside nonetheless.

“So that's how he wants to play, huh?”, Sven said, once he had read the letter. “Well, I'll show him. Give this to Camilla, and say it's from him.”

Karmyn obtained another letter, this one showing Faendal as a zealot of the Aldmeri Dominion, who did not wish to soil his bloodline with an Imperial and who made the jerky request of staying good friends with her. Clearly Karmyn didn't know which of these two was worse.

“You're seriously going to do that?”, Derkeethus asked, once they returned to the streets of Riverwood.

“Dunno. Why would that matter, whether she marries one or the other?”

“I don't like this. That might change her life forever, all depending on your actions.”

Karmyn sighed, and they sat down on the stairs of Alvor's house.

“What would _you_ do, then?”, Karmyn asked. “How can you tell the good and the bad actions apart?”

“I can't. No one can. And that's why it's hard.”

He looked into Karmyn's eyes.

“But there's something we can do about it. We don't have to lie, neither do we have to follow a good or a bad way.”

He smiled.

“All you have to do is be honest.”

Karmyn didn't say anything, looking at Sven's fake letter. He agreed with Derkeethus: there was something that didn't feel right about this. He knew Camilla's decision was hers to make and no one else's, and he would not play a part in it. Meaning, he would not decide which side would be the best for her to choose.  
Something like a smile slowly barred his face.

“You're right, Hist-brother. I know what to do.”

He went away. Seconds later, he reappeared, holding both of the fake letters.

“ _Vahzen pruzaan_.”, he simply said, although Derkeethus didn't understand a word of it. “The best is to tell the truth.”, he translated a second later.

They got back to the Riverwood Trader, and Karmyn showed both letters to Camilla, telling her about Faendal's and Sven's tricks. She wore a shocked face, but thanked the Dragonborn for his help, and offered him some money he couldn't refuse. When the two Argonians went out, they could hear her speaking angrily at a desperate Faendal.

“We did great.”, Karmyn commented, on their way back to Whiterun.

“How do you feel now?”

“To be honest…”

He stopped for a moment, looking at the afternoon sun.

“I'm glad. Now I can't be held responsible for her marriage failures.”

Derkeethus put on his 'oh, come on' face.

“Honestly.”, Karmyn said. “It feels nice to do the right thing.”

He plucked some blue mountain flowers while walking. But then, his smile dropped, and his tones got deeper.

“I'm the Dragonborn. My role is to do the best I can, whatever happens, because people count on me. But whatever I do, no matter which path I take, there will be bad consequences to my actions. I can't afford to think about which way to go, and what will become of it. I have to think fast, to act fast, to fight whatever enemy comes.”

He picked the petals off a flower, and they fell on the ground twirling.

“They all try to tell me what to do, only thinking about themselves. No one ever asks me what _I_ would do, if I had the choice. Why does it matter whether I join the Imperials or the Stormcloaks? I have nothing against either. Sometimes the only way is to do as they say, but when choosing finally comes to me...”

He stopped, and turned to his follower. There was something in his eyes that showed either sadness or a deep regret, merged with something like determination.

“...all I can do is follow what I think is right.”

He let the dismantled flower fall from his hand, and resumed walking.  
Derkeethus could understand, in a sense. This responsibility had been put upon him whether he had asked for it or not. Himself couldn't even imagine what Karmyn had been through, may it be war in which he had to take sides against his will, endlessly fighting creatures he shared a soul with, or having to save all of Tamriel from a returning threat no one else could quell.  
As they reached the outposts around Whiterun, Derkeethus thought it was best to change subjects.

“So...those two guys went really far to prove their love. They even did crazy things.”

Karmyn shrugged.

“As I said the other day. Love's a crazy thing for crazy people.”

“Yeah, but...I mean, someone like you must know a lot about it, right?”

“Don't know what you're talking about.”

Derkeethus didn't know whether or not Karmyn had understood his question, or if that last sentence was an answer at all. He didn't know if he should ask it explicitly, or keep quiet about it. He even feared he made a very bad mistake which Karmyn wouldn't forgive.

“If that's what you want to know, I did have some partners.”, Karmyn said out of the blue. “In my past lives. But no one in this soul cycle.”

Derkeethus felt relieved he didn't take it bad. He feared it would be some kind of sensitive topic, related to a heartbreak, a failed marriage or something worse. But was Karmyn old enough to already have been married? His body signals were all that of an adult, several years past maturity, but his traits showed he was still young. He had a short snout.

“Why would you want to know that, anyways?”, Karmyn asked as they entered within Whiterun.

“I...not really for anything in particular. But all these things you've said about love, the other day...that made me wonder.”

“I've seen couples from all of Skyrim do weird things. I've heard stories at the tavern, about one's husband or another's wife doing this and that. People have asked me to deliver all kinds of things to their loved ones. Of course I know something about love.”

He then turned to Derkeethus, with an intriguing smile.

“And what about you?”, he asked. “I bet you have met lots of ladies back in Black Marsh. You have the face of a serial-wooer. How many had fallen for your tantalizing curvy horns and your delicate fingers?”

Derkeethus knew he only wanted to joke, and didn't mean anything bad; but something in him took it as a reproach.

“I...”

He didn't know what to say. His words got lost before he could even think of them, as he tried to explain but failed. That's when he felt Karmyn's hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, it's alright. You don't have to tell me anything. That's your life, not mine.”

He patted him on the back, a gesture filled with affection.

“As long as you focus on the enemy in front of you rather than on your lover's pretty eyes. Else it will be problematic.”

“Considering no one has eyes so pretty they're worth dying for.”

Speaking of dying made Karmyn think about his nightmares. What if these were, indeed, real events that had happened in some alternate reality? The thought made him shiver.

“Are you cold?”, Derkeethus asked. “Sun isn't even down yet.”

“That's fine. Nothing important.”

But the feeling was still there, dreading menacingly. Karmyn did his best not to think about it anymore, as he stored his found items in the many drawers and chests of Breezehome.

“So...while we have time, wanna go and kill some giants?”, he asked once done.

“Oh, why not.”, Derkeethus replied. “Easy way to train.”

“I saw a giant kill a dragon, once. It was something terrible.”

“Oh, you too can kill dragons, so that's no problem.”

“Still, that was a free soul for me.”

“You're really optimistic, aren't you?”

They spend the afternoon going after giants, running from angry mammoths, killing them from a distance with their bows, and having a really good time together. But soon the night came, and would bring another nightmare with it, and all of Karmyn's skills could do nothing about it. That's why, once they returned to the Plains Districts, Karmyn asked Derkeethus if he could stay the night. Maybe with his friend nearby, he could sleep at ease.  
Something in his body language must have been quite strong for Derkeethus to accept the offer. But Karmyn was so glad his friend would be there, he didn't bother with finding what it was.  
That even made him rather happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my headcanon voice for Karmyn is Ratchet's, from the _Ratchet and Clank_ games. I'm not sure of what he sounds like in English, but his French voice would fit so much.
> 
>  _Vahzen pruzaan_ : "truth (is) best"


	6. Windhelm

“So...what do we have here?”

The corpse was still bathed in blood, much like most of the graveyard. Had Karmyn worn his Ring of Namira, he would have loved to have a taste, but right now he didn't really feel like it. But this was something interesting to do. That even gave him the thrills.  
Karmyn examined the body, Derkeethus slightly disgusted by the sight.

“Susanna the Wicked, Nord, waitress at Candlehearth Hall. Murdered around midnight, several deep cuts made by old curved blades. Coin purse still present. No signs of fighting.”

Derkeethus rolled his eyes.

“Why are you repeating what that guard just told you?”

“I wanted to sound cool. But there's no time to waste. We have to find whoever did this.”

“But how?”

Standing up, Karmyn looked around the graveyard.

“Maybe these people did see something. We can't pass on any potential witnesses.”

Karmyn interrogated the three people walking around, with a very feeble outcome, while Derkeethus watched with amused annoyance. Clearly Karmyn was bored as Oblivion to play the investigator. But indeed, whoever did commit those crimes was a mad spirit that had to be put to an end. Seeing things this way, the Dragonborn had only good intentions, helping the guards and discovering the killer's identity.

“Alright. Thank you for your help. Here, have a gold piece.”

“Oh...thank you very much! Divines bless your kind heart.”

Derkeethus walked to his friend.

“Still nothing, I suppose?”

“No one saw the killer's face. That's all I have for now.”

“Maybe we should tell that to the guards. They always patrol around, they might have seen something.”

Karmyn suddenly seemed quite unsettled by these words.

“How about...you do it, while I look for more clues? That way we can better use our time.”

“Alright, but-”

“I'm gonna go this way!”

A second later, Karmyn had vanished, leaving Derkeethus sighing about how this guy was impossible.  
But the follower had to do his job first.

“No one here has seen the killer. We have done what we could.”, he said to the guard.

“That was to be expected.”

“Yeah...but I think there's more we can do about it, right?”

“Whoa, easy there. I can't just let people like you come around and do our job. If you want to help, you'd have to talk to Jorleif first.”

“I'll remember that. Thanks.”

As he was walking away, the Stormcloak soldier called him back.

“Your friend, the Argonian...he did seem familiar.”

“I don't know...maybe because he's friends with Jarl Ulfric, or...I dunno, the Dragonborn, maybe?”

“I mean he's a wanted man.”

That surprised Derkeethus. Karmyn, a troublemaker? What could someone as righteous and helpful as him have done?

“And if you're not telling me where he went, you're gonna have troubles too.”

Derkeethus drew his sword, and pointed it at the guard, acting more by reflex than with reason.

“Say that again, you worm!”

But as he was about to stab this insolent once and for all, Karmyn stepped between them.

“Hey, friend, easy! Look, dude. You're making a mistake.”

“I recognize you now! You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people, and now is time to pay for your actions!”

Karmyn sighed, took a pouch of coins from his pocket, and handed it to the guard.

“Look, mate. I'm with the Guild, so what you're gonna do is take this and look away.”

The soldier looked at the gold, and took the pouch.

“Fine, then. You may go.”

Karmyn then took Derkeethus's hand and brought him out of sight as quickly as he could.

“You've got some nerve, friend.”, the green-scaled Argonian commented. “Let me guess, that's the only reason you've joined the Thieves Guild.”

“No, that's a side advantage. You're not ready yet to hear about the real reason. So, what did he say?”

“Something about a guy named Jorleif. But first-”

“Oh, I know him. He's Ulfric's steward. Talking to him won't be a problem.”

“Sure, but could you please-”

“Maybe we'll get a cool reward, like some kind of killer weapon, or even-”

“Karmyn!”

The sudden mention of his name made the Dragonborn stop, and turn around to look at his friend.

“Could you please let go of my hand?”

In his hand, Karmyn hadn't noticed he still had been holding Derkeethus's hand, although they were now right in front of the Palace of the Kings. He untangled his fingers from his follower's.

“Sorry.”

“That's fine. But you sure got a strong grip.”

They said nothing, but a slight laugh escaped Karmyn's lips.

“That's what she said.”

Derkeethus didn't understand.

“Or rather, what he said. That's more logical.”

“What the xhuth are you talking about?”

“That was a joke. Forget it. _Vodahmaan_.”

“And please stop talking in whatever language that is. I can't understand anything.”

As they entered the Palace of the Kings, Derkeethus looked at the vast throne room, whistling in admiration. His eyes then fell on the man sitting at the other end.

“Is that…?”

“How are you doing, my Jarl?”, Karmyn greeted with both familiarity and respect. “Is there anything I could do for our cause?”

“You have helped our camp take over Imperial cities, and General Tullius died by your hand. I doubt there is anything more left for you to help with.”

There was a doubt in his voice, Derkeethus noticed.

“I wish to reward you by giving you the title of Thane, but you would first need to help the citizens of Windhelm and possess property in the city.”

“I will do as you please, my Jarl. Or, is it too soon to call you High King?”

Ulfric Stormcloak seemed flattered by the comment.

“Only when the Moot decide so, will I be able to truly claim the throne. But I appreciate your devotion.”

“It is my honor.”

As he turned to Jorleif to tell him about the murders, Derkeethus thought about how paradoxical he was. Both troublemaker and war hero, slaying dragons and helping people with petty problems, having everything he wanted but still taking whatever he could, such as how he was currently snatching cheese wheels and vegetables discretely while talking with the steward. A shoe-shiner who had pride, a man of justice with tricky ethics, a brute killer and dragon slaughterer that could spend hours on trying to catch butterflies.  
Was he even real to start with? Even that Derkeethus doubted of.

“I see.”

Karmyn seemed to think about something troubling. As a good friend, Derkeethus went to see what was wrong.

“Something isn't well, it seems.”

“Indeed. Seems like I need to buy a house in Windhelm to progress.”

“Oh.”

Karmyn seemed unsure about it.

“I already have Breezehome. And I can't picture how much it would be needed to move all my stuff. My armor sets, my dragon bones...”

“That's alright. You won't have to move in. You can still live in Whiterun but have this one for the sake of your quest.”

“True. But am I really ready to spend 12,000 septims on a house I won't even live in?”

Derkeethus nearly choked.

“T...twelve thousands?”

“Don't worry. I know it's a lot. But I know someone who can help.”

He walked to a corner of the room, looking around nervously.

“They always know when to come.”

As Derkeethus stared at Karmyn with an interrogative glare, something came out of the shadows. A black-hooded figure, whose face and body were unseen. Neither did the Jarl or Jorleif, nor any of the guards, noticed as the candles' light flickered, before vanishing, turning the whole room dark and cold. The figure walked to Karmyn, who apparently expected it, and looked at him evn though it had no face.

“Password?”, it asked with a rasp, genderless voice.

Karmyn took a deep breath, and recited a cryptic sentence Derkeethus didn't understand.

“Player. Add item. Zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, F.”

He paused, as if he was thinking.

“Six thousands will suffice.”

The figure nodded slowly. Then, a hand emerged from its cloak. It was dark, ethereal, as if made of the darkest shadows possible. It was holding a fat coin purse, which it handed to Karmyn, still speaking in a frightening voice.

“You can have whatever you desire, but your soul is bound to me for all eternity...”

One second after, it had disappeared.  
Derkeethus blinked. The candles were lit, and nothing else had changed. No one but the Argonians had seen what just happened.

“Wh...who was this?”, Derkeethus asked shaking.

“I don't know.”

He then called Jorleif, asked to buy the house, went to grab some more ingredients from the kitchens, and reappeared a minute later. Derkeethus still hadn't understand anything.  
As he had already done many things for the people of Whiterun, Ulfric Stormcloak granted him Thanehood, along with a personal housecarl. Derkeethus felt kind of concerned by this news, but Karmyn made no comments as they were going out of the Palace.

“You gotta stop disappearing like that.”, Derkeethus commented. “I can't keep up with you, so I won't even bother following you, you know.”

“But you're my follower, right?”

“I dunno, but following people around everywhere they go seems a little creepy, isn't it?”

Karmyn didn't reply. They had just arrived at Hjerim, a classic house built in Nordic style.

“So...do we take a look? I had been told the previous owner had left cues.”

“May the Hist guide us.”

The house was large, much more spacious than Breezehome. Karmyn took his time to visit the several rooms, gasping before the vastness of the structure. Derkeethus stayed in what seemed to be the living room, but then saw a strange guy sitting on one of the chairs.

“Who are you?”

The brown-haired Nord put his tankard down, and looked at Derkeethus with distrustful eyes.

“Name's Calder. I'm at the Thane's service. And who are you supposed to be, lizard?”

Derkeethus instinctively didn't like this guy. There was blatant racism in his disgusted stare. He made sure to hold his tail up, showing an aggressive stance. This moron honestly thought he could fight better than him? That he could protect Karmyn better? Well he'll see about that. He'll see what happens to anyone who dares messing with Derkeethus of Helstrom.

“Come quick, I have found a secret room!”, Karmyn called.

Derkeethus ran to him, not without a threatening stare directed to the Nord.

“It looks like a secret altar or something! And I found those journals, too.”

Derkeethus took one and read it. “The Butcher”, as he called himself, was an adept of necromancy and occult arts, but needed body parts. Classic case.

“What's that thing?”, Derkeethus asked, pulling a strange amulet from under a misshaped pile of papers. “Looks dangerous to me.”

“We should bring that to someone who knows about strange amulets. That might help us.”

Very soon, their investigation progressed. After a chat with Calixto, who ran a House of Curiosities filled with a collection of odd trinkets, and a word with Jorleif, the Butcher had been revealed to be Wuunferth, Ulfric Stormcloak's Court wizard. Karmyn and Derkeethus watched the old man getting arrested, relieved the case was finally over. And after Karmyn had raided the mage's laboratory for ingredients, the two Argonians could peacefully have a walk in the streets of Windhelm.

“You know...”, Karmyn said, plucking Snowberries and flowers. “I thought about this new house. It's really large, and it has tons of possibilities.”

He was reading a book given by Jorleif, something about house decorating.

“I can have an armory, and my own arcane table. And a real dining room with a table. That looks almost surreal.”

“So, you're really going to move in there? But what about your old home?”

He thought about it for a moment.

“Once I move my stuff, I can lend it to someone who needs it more. I won't need it anymore. I'm not the kind to need old things.”

Karmyn kept talking about what he planned to do, but Derkeethus barely heard him.  
He never kept old things. What if Karmyn would one day grow tired of him as well? Afterall, he had no reason to keep him. What if he decided to take this brute of Calder as new follower? This Nord was maybe a rash idiot, but he was a housecarl, and those guys were always excellent devoted fighters. They had better training in weapon-wielding and could always carry lots of stuff for their Thane. They could even get married with them. This last thought made Derkeethus shiver.

“Hey...is everything alright?”

Karmyn turned to his friend, his eyes showing worry. In his confused thoughts, Derkeethus had left his anxiety shown.

“Is something wrong? Tell me, I'm starting to get really worried.”

Derkeethus wanted to talk, but his throat couldn't emit a single sound. He looked at his feet, his heart racing, his breath shorter than usual.

“Derkeethus! Please talk to me!”

Karmyn's voice was there, but he couldn't answer. Who cared about him anyways? Who had ever cared? He was to be left alone. He was to be ditched, only now when he thought he had made a friend. He could be sure of it. There was no doubt possible.  
A wave of Magicka suddenly hit him. Not in a harmful way; instead his mind, slowly, stopped worrying. He realized Karmyn had to use a Pacify spell on him.

“I'm sorry.”, he said. “I...I didn't mean to bother.”

Karmyn held him by the shoulders, helping him to stand up.

“You're not a bother. Not at all.”

At this point, Derkeethus wasn't trying to hide his emotions anymore. What would it bring him but another panic attack?  
He sighed.

“ _I'm afraid you're going to ditch me for another follower._ ”

It took Karmyn a moment to realize Derkeethus just spoke Jel, the language of Argonians. Using the classic Imperial language wouldn't have expressed his thoughts with the same efficiency, and Karmyn could clearly see what his concerns were.

“ _I would never do that, because you're my friend. What kind of hero would I be if I let go the people whom I care about the most?_ ”

“ _I thought you wouldn't go on adventures with me anymore._ ”

“ _Don't worry. I'm here. I'm not going away._ ”

Derkeethus could already feel relieved. Karmyn smiled, as he took him in his arms.

“It's true I sometimes like change. But there are things that I wish could always stay the same. And I hope...I hope you and I can live lots of adventures together.”

“As you say, it will happen.”

He stayed in this comforting embrace for Sithis knows how long, feeling the Dragonborn's strong arms around his shoulders. But they had to break it after a moment, for life was still going on. And also because some passerbys were staring.

“Now come on. We have to get going, if we want to make it to Whiterun before nightfall. I need to move some stuff.”

“Need me to carry something?”

“Nice of you to ask.”

They laughed together, racing to the entrance door of Windhelm, like children; or rather like adventurers who still had a lot to live together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "shadowy figure" is a metaphor for the cheat code system.  
> And I know the quest technically doesn't end here but i's 10 pm and i want to sleep.


	7. Sky Haven Temple

Karmyn has been peacefully eating some stew between two trips, sitting in his fresh new dining room, when Derkeethus suddenly put a book on the table in front of him, knocking over an empty goblet. His expression was somewhere halfway between shocked, amused and 'seriously?'.

“What's the matter, friend?”, Karmyn asked after drinking some mead.

“Oh, nothing. I had just finished storing the books, when I found this illustrated version of the 'Lusty Argonian Maid'. Care to explain?”

Karmyn nearly choked on his beverage, coughing out.

“Put that where it came from!”, he said with an embarrassed voice. “That's nothing, I was just...keeping it for a quest!”

“You tell me.”

Derkeethus browsed the pages, whistling in admiration at the detailed pictures.

“Still, I didn't know you liked this kind of...literature. I thought better of you.”

“Hey, give it back. Can't help if I can't sell it, it's marked as stolen.”

“Oh, you must have been eager to find such a rare copy...it even has author's comments! And...did you really annotate it yourself?”

“Give it back!”

Karmyn tried to grab the book, but Derkeethus held it out of reach with a grin.

“I wonder what kind of _other_ surprises you have in stock.”

“Don't make me freeze you like a Spriggan in winter. Give it back!”

After a long minute of childish coursing around the table, Karmyn managed to get his hands on the compromising book, putting it in his inventory.

“Oh, come on. I was just messing with you.”, Derkeethus chuckled.

Karmyn was truly embarrassed, not daring to look at his friend in the eyes. What was the shame in having some private readings, anyway? If he couldn't even have pleasures in the privacy of his home, what was the point? 

“You're really gonna pout at me, now?”, Derkeethus sighed. “At least help me furnish the armory, I'm starting to collapse under the weight of your bows.”

Derkeethus has been a precious help for Karmyn as he moved out. He had helped him with carrying tons of armor, weapons and material from Breezehome, getting upgrades from Jorleif and putting everything in its right place. He had helped Karmyn decide which armor sets to put on the different mannequins (they had settled on the Shrouded Armor of the Dark Brotherhood, the Nightingale Set and the Archmage Robes from Winterhold, even though Derkeethus had found it kind of show-off), sort his books, pack which equipment was to keep and which to sell. After finally storing all the ingots into a small wardrobe, they found time to rest and eat something, but Derkeethus, sickened by Calder's presence, had gone off in Karmyn's bedroom to finish storing some stuff, returning minutes later with the sleazy tome in hand.  
Calder hadn't been very helpful with the whole moving out plan. From what Karmyn had seen, he's been mostly sitting in a corner, drinking out of his bottomless tankard and making comments. At least Lydia would have handed over some help. She used to be the best at carrying things, even though she had those eyes of hell. That memory made Karmyn shiver, as he was putting the weapons nicely on their glitched plaques.

“That looks nice. Well, I think we're done.”

He went to sit on his bed. It had real sheets, and covers, and neat white pillows. Especially, it was a bed for two. 

“Looks like a fine little nest.”, he kept on.

“'Little' nest? That place is huge!”, Derkeethus commented as he sat next to Karmyn. “You can fit the whole Imperial army in this house.”

Karmyn laughed. 

“I wonder how I can drag that many bodies here without it seems suspicious.”

They shared some seconds of laughing, then Karmyn laid back on the green bedsheets, exhaling slowly.

“Feels like home.”

Derkeethus nodded. But some unanswered questions remained in his head. Karmyn talked as if he had never known home in a long time, but there must have been something. What did he do before he officially became Dragonborn? Did he already live in Skyrim? At what time did he decide to leave Black Marsh? But did he even _wanted_ to leave, or had he been a victim of the late remains of Argonian slavery? Many of these questions would never be answered, Derkeethus knew it.  
But if there was anything he needed, Derkeethus wanted to help.

“I was wondering.”, he said after a moment. “Now we have a base in Windhelm, maybe we could try and seek for dragons in the north? I heard there would be plenty.”

Derkeethus waited for an answer, but it didn't come; Karmyn was in his blank state again. His empty eyes were looking at the ceiling, his body sprawled on the bed, not moving at all, as if he had suddenly died. Derkeethus knew he was in one of his narcoleptic moments, but the fear that he might have died without a word was still dreading. It was as if his soul had been sucked out, and all that was left was just an empty shell. No soul, no heartbeat to prove he was still alive.  
One of Karmyn's limp hands was sprawled next to Derkeethus's hip, palm up. The dark dragon scales of his glove were hard to distinguish from Karmyn's, which were visible near the wrist. That was the hand he usually wielded his sword with, but now, it was obviously empty. More than empty...Derkeethus felt as if this hand was lounging to grab something. Although Karmyn didn't move at all, still seeming to sleep with his eyes open. He was breathing, but it was a very slight breath, almost impossible to hear if not from very close.  
Derkeethus didn't know why he did it, but he let his own hand smoothly wrap around Karmyn's fingers, which did not react. The touch felt nice, Karmyn's hand being still warm and living under his own. Derkeethus smiled slightly, still worried about Karmyn's lack of reaction, as his thumb delicately stroked his palm.  
In other times, he wouldn't have had the confidence to execute this simple gesture. Karmyn was a mess of energy, optimism, cold-blood and so many emotions, that sometimes even scared Derkeethus or at least impressed him a lot. Even though it had never been his intention to make Derkeethus feel like a bland, uninteresting follower, Karmyn always had this sort of aura around him that made him pass as untouchable.  
Maybe if Derkeethus had more confidence in himself, he could simply reach out to his hand and hold it, wherever they were. He even had a chance the day before, when Karmyn had took his hand and didn't let go; but on the moment, he had been too startled by the sudden gesture, he hadn't known what he had wanted or not anymore. But then, some minutes later, he had held him in his arms...and it had felt surprisingly good.  
There had to be something. Derkeethus didn't know why he wanted to hold Karmyn's hand, but maybe it was his fear of being left alone. That had to be that.  
Suddenly, Karmyn moved, and sprung back on his seat, startling Derkeethus who jerked his hand back.

“I have to go to Sky Haven Temple.”, Karmyn said casually, as if he just had a revelation. “Delphine.”

He hadn't noticed anything about Derkeethus, as he stood up and stretched his arms. The green-scaled Argonian followed him as he went out of the bedroom, but Karmyn turned around.

“I'm sorry, but you'll have to stay here.”

Derkeethus rose an eyebrow.

“Why so?”

Karmyn seemed unsettled, as if he knew Derkeethus wouldn't like the answer.

“Look.”, he explained. “Just stay at home. I have something to do with Calder. But when I come back, it will be only me. D'you understand?”

Derkeethus didn't get where Karmyn was going.

“But...where are you going? And...who is this 'Delphine', anyway?”

“She's a friend of mine. And she needs people I can recruit into the Blades.”

Derkeethus didn't believe his ears.

“The Blades? The legendary dragon slayers?”

“Indeed. Calder is a tough fighter, he'll be more useful this way than if he just stays here all day. That's for a good cause. Do you understand?”

It took Derkeethus a moment, but he finally gave a nod.

“Watch the house for me. The Temple is quite away from Windhelm, so from your point of view, it will look as if I'm gone for a day or two.”

He went to the chest at the foot of the bed, in which was stored all the equipment and weapons that hadn't yet found their place in the new house.

“Basically, you're free to do whatever you do when you're not following me. You can go to your friends in Darkwater Crossing if you wish, or meet the neighbors. Watch out, though, I've heard they're not the most Beast-friendly around.”

“Got it.”

They stared at each other rather awkwardly, not knowing what to say. But Karmyn, sheathing his sword, sighed, and smiled. 

“As they say...I think it's time for us to part ways.”

Even though Derkeethus knew it wasn't a final decision, something within him sort of vanished, as a candle blown off by a sudden gust of air. As if he was feeling wrong. As if he wasn't welcome here anymore.

“I...I'll be heading home if you need me.”

Karmyn nodded, but not in agreement. It was as if he had expected this reaction. Derkeethus treaded softly, not daring to look at his friend as he went downstairs.  
But then, Calder gave him a sarcastic look.

“Told you, you wouldn't last a day. Not when _I'm_ around.”

Derkeethus wanted to grab his sword and plunge it into this moron's face, staining the new carpets with imperishable red, but his mind didn't feel like it. He felt empty, as if nothing in the world could make him feel any better. He went outside of Hjerim, looking at the dawn sky.  
A day or two, he said.

“So.”, Karmyn said to Calder, grabbing an old set of armor. “You know, maybe we're not meant to be best partners, but I know a good fighter when I see one. And I know someone who could use your talents. Follow me.”

“As you wish, my Thane.”

When they went out, Derkeethus had already disappeared. But Karmyn knew it was only a matter of time before he could see his friend again.  
Maybe he could tell him he liked holding hands with him, too.

“We have to meet with one of my allies at Sky Haven Temple. I would have said friend, but she did make me kill one of my other friends, so...”

As they walked, even after fast traveling to the Temple, Karmyn saw that Calder wasn't much of a friendly talker. Even not the slightest remark about the glorious beauty of the wall carvings, or the architecture, or anything at all. There was something with him that he didn't exactly like, but he made no comment about it. Though he could see what made Derkeethus uneasy about him.  
Luckily all followers weren't like that.

“Hey there, Esbern. Long time no see. Have you seen Delphine around?”

~~~~~

“Oh, I'm sure he'll come back, don't worry.”

“That's what I thought too. But dusk had fell and still, no trace of him.”

“He's the Dragonborn, afterall. Must be very busy.”

Sondas and Derkeethus have always been good friends, and in these times of doubt, the Argonian wasn't against a listening ear.

“But hey.”, the Dunmer went on, “If he really cares about you, he'll come back. Afterall, y'ain't finding a good fisher like you everyday.”

Derkeethus grinned, as his friend stood up, taking a pickaxe from his tent.

“I gotta go deplete the south gallery ores. Be glad if you lend a hand.”

“I will, gimme a minute.”

As Sondas left, Derkeethus walked to the nearby river, and sat down, looking at his reflection. A lonely Argonian, alone in the dusk of another working day.  
Karmyn never seemed to care about time. Derkeethus couldn't explain, but it was as if he had the ability to teleport wherever he wanted, instead of walking. His own memories were faded in these moments, as if blurred by some kind of unknown magic only Karmyn could master.  
Karmyn. He had so much powers, so much abilities. So much potential. He was a respected member of several communities, he knew both the way of Magic and the talents of the Sword, and always knew his way out of tricky situations. He had saved Derkeethus's life so many times it was impossible for him to count. He was skilled in Smiting, Alchemy, many magic schools, Stealth, and knew how to make every armor both splendid and powerful. He knew how to cook. His Restoration spells were comforting more than anyone's. Even in the worst situations, he always had a little joke to crack, and Derkeethus would facepalm himself seeing how much of an idiot he was, but sometimes like it and chuckle.  
He missed him.  
He stared at the water, hoping something would happen. His gaze followed the few fish swimming out, towards the waterfalls, never to be seen again. They'd have a life of their own, have lots of little eggs, and then get eaten by a bear. But at least they'd be somewhere, Derkeethus sighed as his eyes drew attracted to the water at his feet once again. The moons were shining, revealing his traits in the river's reflection, a sharp contrast with the darkened sky.  
It took him a moment to realize his reflection wasn't alone.  
He turned around.

“Missed me much?”, Karmyn asked smiling.

Derkeethus didn't think any further, and took him in his arms.  
The sudden gesture surprised Karmyn, but he didn't make any comments. This touch felt sort of nice, afterall, and the vise of his friend's arms wasn't that hard. As he left himself be hugged, slowly, his own arms returned the gesture. They hadn't been separated for long, but from Derkeethus's point of view, it must have seen like days.  
Slowly, they let go of each other, but avoided looking into each other's eyes, for it still felt somewhat uncalled for.

“Calder will now work with the Blades.”, Karmyn stated after a moment of awkward silence. “You're still my follower, don't worry.”

The flame in Derkeethus's heart suddenly lit up again.

“Let's rest a little. Tomorrow, we start the real business.”

Derkeethus nodded, and followed Karmyn as he walked towards Windhelm. The night was beautiful, without a cloud to waste the colors of the stars, and both spent most of their peaceful travel gazing at its beauty.  
It was during one of these moments that they started holding hands, not letting go until they had reached the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yass. Fluffy times yay. it's 2 am.


	8. Pinewatch Bandit's Sanctuary

“The stones of what now?”

“As I tell you. If we manage to gather all twenty-four, we'll get a cool reward!”

Karmyn looked like an excited child who just got promised a taffy treat.

“It'll be like an adventure!”

“Brother, they're scattered across all of Skyrim. They could be anywhere!”

Derkeethus didn't really understand why Karmyn was so keen about finding some unusual gems, presumably pried from the crown of Princess Barenziah, but he loved how the promise of challenge and adventure made Karmyn's eyes glimmer with excitation.

“Not even. For what I know, they're either right next to a Word Wall, or on the bedside table of a Jarl. Sometimes in dungeons, but you can't miss them. They're always right in your face.”

He looked on his map, at all the blue markers he had placed (only one), at all the places he already had looked for. Behind him, Derkeethus was wondering why Karmyn was staring at his feet as if they concealed the meaning of existence.

“There's one in Falkreath Hold, Pinewatch.”, he said, eyes stopping the downwards stare. “A bandit hideout. We can get to the Lady's Stone first, then swim across the lake. That'll be easy.”

He turned to Derkeethus.

“Been a while I've wanted to bring you to that lake, anyways. It's a great place. Swimming, fishing, or just hanging around..there's plenty we can do there.”

“I'd be glad to see that, friend.”

Karmyn grinned, before pulling armor pieces out of nowhere and ditching them on the ground, along with an incredible amount of tankards, wooden bowls and baskets.

“Gonna need free space. A bandit's hideout is always filled with nice stuff.”

“Seriously, where do you pull all of this from?”

“I have no idea. Come on, let's get there before night.”

Despite the fact Karmyn was an amazing person, the fact he could do all of these reality-warping tricks without purpose was becoming annoying. Most people he knew could fit lots of items into their pockets, but Karmyn was the only one who could walk around with a complete armory, a month's worth of fresh food, a whole library of ancient books and hundreds of potion flasks that would never break, even when falling down a high place.  
There was a huge bundle of illogical things surrounding the cryptic person the Dragonborn was. He could swallow half a hundred apples in one gulp, pull large weapons out of people's pockets without them noticing, kill anyone he wanted while sneaking except if a chicken was looking, and a whole lot of other abilities that might have seemed surreal for anyone but himself.  
They had arrived at the Lady's Stone, but Derkeethus had no memories of walking there. It was as if his mind had gone numb during the whole trip. But he couldn't care less.  
The sun was almost down in this calm afternoon of Rain's Hand. As Derkeethus got used to the usual feeling of dizziness, he could see the tiny fishes swimming around, and the colorful flowers Karmyn enjoyed plucking.  
He sat down near the water, carefully checking the temperature with his tail, but Karmyn dived head first, partially splashing him.

“Come on, it's warm!”, he said cheerfully.

“I'm...gonna join you. Just need to make sure it won't rust my armor or anything.”

“Don't worry about that, it's safe. You can breathe underwater, remember?”

Of course Derkeethus knew, but he still wanted to be sure. Hesitating, then giving in, he dived into the lake.  
The lukewarm water made his body immediately react, according to an evolutionary Argonian reflex. His sight got wider, his blood pumped faster to keep up his body heat. He had no gills, but his lungs had to change their internal structure as to allow water to pass through without harming his heart. His mind slowed down as his instincts got keener. He could feel the movement of every fish, every plant, every childish armored Argonian in a radius of thirty feet. All of that in the span of half a second.  
Derkeethus reached up with Karmyn as he was catching a longfin in his jaws, putting it in his inventory. Following the invitation, he rushed to a river betty about one feet away, and caught it on the first try. Karmyn waved his tail in admiration.  
Once underwater, the fabled Argonian hivemind was getting stronger than on land. There was absolutely no need for the two friends to communicate by words or even signs, as they could perfectly decipher each other's thoughts simply by exchanging glances. There was no telepathic exchange, as some fancied to rumor; but it was somewhat close.

_”Race you to the other side.”_ , Karmyn taunted.

 _”Shouldn't have dared.”_ , Derkeethus smirked.

They both swam as fast as they could, never having felt more at ease than in water. Skyrimean lakes weren't nearly as deep or as familiar as the ponds and rivers of Black Marsh, but at least the water was clear enough for them to see and breathe in.  
As if pushed by a strong desire for thrills, Karmyn jumped out of the water in a spectacular leg thrust, and splashed back in with such a force, it made mudcrabs crawl away. Derkeethus, amazed, tried to do so, but he only managed to hop some inches above the water. Karmyn still found it impressive, and tried to race him again. Derkeethus could swim fast, but Karmyn had more stamina, and could sprint for longer distances. He was the first to reach the other side of the lake, Derkeethus still being quite close. Upon returning to the land, their lungs switched their structure again, and the transparent membrane on their eyes lifted. They sat on the wet grass, their hearts still beating fast, letting their bodies adapt to the air again.

“We should do that more often.”, Karmyn smiled. “I don't think there is a single follower out there who'd appreciate water as much as you do.”

“We're not both Argonians for no reason.”

They laughed at the thought, before Karmyn stood up, stretching his legs.

“Now come on. The bandit hideout is on that side.”

They readied their weapons, in case anything were to come. The walk was rather peaceful, the night slowly setting, except for the fact Karmyn was sprinting his way to the place. But before Derkeethus could even say something, three silhouettes emerged before them. Derkeethus recognized their armor: Imperial soldiers. The one that spoke seemed either not at ease, or really confused.

“Sorry, citizens. But...you're interfering with official business here. In fact...well, you have to pay a fine of...let's say, one hundred septims.”

Karmyn rolled his eyes.

“Well, since it's none of my business as you say, who would I be if I broke the law? Here, have your fine, but let us go. We want no troubles.”

“And don't come back.”

But as they had their backs turned, Karmyn summoned Seeker, drew his sword, and charged into battle. In the time needed to shout ice out of his throat, swing his sword and shock them to death, it was over. Karmyn looked at the soldier who had talked to him, fetched his gold, and continued walking as if nothing had happened.

“This, Derkeethus, is what we call diplomacy.”

The Argonian nodded in admiration.  
The hideout was a small shack, with some leaks growing in a tiny garden. As Karmyn went harvesting them, Derkeethus examined the building.

“And...you really think there's one of the twenty-four Stones here?”

“My sources had said so.”

Karmyn looked at the locked door, and opened it on the first try.

“But sometimes, reality is more than what you see.”

As they entered it, they saw the staircase going down. A simple basement, where from bandit marauders emerged, ready to attack. Karmyn took advantage of the opportunity to try his new Skyforge Greatsword, the one forged by the old Eorlund Gray-Mane as a gift for joining the Companions. Needless to say, he was really bad at Two-handed, and ended up falling more than once under the difference in balance. But Derkeethus was there to shield him whenever he needed, and to help him stand up again.

“Thing is heavy.”

“But you've said yourself you had to train. You'll get better, don't worry.”

Karmyn tried to sheath his blade, before remembering those had to be carried on the back.

“Yeah. If you say so.”

They looked on every shelf in the basement, but didn't find anything close to a Stone of Barenziah.

“I don't think it's anywhere near.”

“It has to be!”

Derkeethus looked around, and noticed something on the wall. A button. He pressed it, and one of the shelves suddenly turned on itself like a door, revealing a path down in the ground. He felt Karmyn patting his back in affection.

“The old secret passage thing. You're a genius, friend.”

As they descended, they met another group on bandits who attacked them with such a force Karmyn staggered. He had time to use a Scroll of Blizzard to make his opponents freeze to death, not without getting some damage himself. But that was nothing he could handle, especially when he had an inventory full of cheese wheels. Making sure Derkeethus was alright, they found their way through the gigantic pile of rubble and wooden scaffolding. Karmyn used the fallen bandits to practice his new Conjuration spell, Dread Zombie, and scare the Oblivion out of Derkeethus with his necromancy.  
As they entered another room, Karmyn noticed a locked door. He went straight to it, while Derkeethus kept forward.

“This place is huge. How do you want us to find a tiny stone in that?”

“Don't worry.”, Karmyn replied, breaking a lockpick. “Normally they're in plain sight. Vex told me something like that.”

The door opened with a 'clank', and Karmyn went to look inside. A couple of shelves, one bearing the long-sought pink gem. He immediately put it in his pocket, along with the few potions and arrows stacked there.

“Come on, friend, I have it!”, he called. “Let's go, now!”

But the fighting sounds informed him that Derkeethus had put himself in trouble. Summoning Seeker, readying a Flame Atronach and his Ebony Sword, he rushed to his friend, and sliced the throat of his opponent.

“At least wait for me before getting into battle!”

“And give you all the credit? No thanks.”

Karmyn giggled as he thrust his blade into an enemy's stomach, brushing some blood off his snout.

“Who's talking about credit? No one's here to see us wrecking things.”

“Who knows?”, Derkeethus answered as he bashed a bandit with his shield, pushing him right into Karmyn's sword. “At least you won't go around claiming you have cleaned this place off the vermin.”

“That never was my intention.”

As the last corpse fell, Karmyn sat down on a crate, trying to catch his breath. Eating some grilled leaks he shared with Derkeethus, he glanced at his map.

“So, did you find the stone?”

“Yep. I know where to find the next one.”

They stood up, retracing their steps to the entrance of the cave.

“But we'll have to introduce into Solitude's Blue Palace.”

“What!?”

“Don't worry. If we have the time, we can even make a detour by Markarth. There's one in the Dwemer Museum, for what I know.”

“You're either the stupidest fool who ever lived, or the bravest guy I've ever seen.”

“Why can't I be both? Sticking to one class isn't my forte.”

“Oh, stop it.”

The night air welcomed them out of the shack, comforting them after the usual blood rush of fighting. Karmyn's eyes lost themselves somewhere in direction of the lake.

“So...”, he casually said. “Care for a midnight dive?”

Derkeethus flusteredly swiped his tail.

“Erm...why not?”, he shrugged.

“Nice. That way we can wash off some blood.”

Karmyn turned to his friend.

“Else, I know some good hot springs, perfect to take a good bath. Gotta take you there one day. You're gonna love it, it's relaxing.”

Derkeethus tried not to think about what was implied in this sentence. But did he even imply anything? Karmyn wasn't that kind of man; he'd never offer something like this to a friend, especially not a male one. That too was one of the things Derkeethus wondered about Karmyn, but would probably never ask.  
As the cold water met his scales, as they swam and twirled in the water, as they went to explore some sunken wreck, Derkeethus started to notice changes in Karmyn's mind. What kind, their connection couldn't tell; but there was something. His own mind was starting to think, to change, to broaden. He was reflecting on many things, mostly about his friend. Unspoken thoughts crossed his mind, questions made him wonder. In the middle of this mess, one of these questions became suddenly louder, so unexpected it made him silently gasp.  
Could there be something between Karmyn and himself that would be _more_ than friendship?


	9. Halldir's Cairn

“What is the White Phial, anyway?”, Derkeethus asked.

“Something we'll bother with later. But for now, we're heading to Falkreath.”

“Again? Come on, dude. We've been traveling all day. Don't you ever need a rest?”

“That can wait. But one of Skyrim's most important factions had asked me to recover one of their lost relics. I can't pass on something like that!”

Derkeethus shrugged.

“My feet hurt.”

“Then ride Frost. I'll walk.”

“Then _your_ feet will hurt. I know you'll complain too.”

“Then, guess I'll just ride Shadowmere then? I have two steeds, why can't we share?”

“I don't know how to ride.”

“I'll teach you.”

“And then you'll forget. You already forgot to check Wolfskull Cave although we were right in front of it.”

“Hey, not my fault if I had to find a forge!”

And so on. The two Argonians had been talking about so many things they were forgetting what had been the point of their mission already. Something about a potion?

“Anyway.”, Karmyn said out of the blue. “We're headed to Halldir's Cairn.”

“We're not walking all the way to Falkreath!”, Derkeethus complained. “First you wanted to kill the leader of some werewolf-hunter clan, then we had to trek all across Skyrim to harvest Mer blood to put in some weird machinery, and now you want to find some lost relic in some nasty Draugr-choking cave?”

“Yes.”

Derkeethus looked as if he was about to break a nerve, but he put his feelings aside. Karmyn loved not to follow strict schedules, and could either take oversleep every day of the week or not sleep at all and explore all of the province all of a sudden. Needless to say, Derkeethus couldn't follow his rhythm all the time.  
Karmyn didn't really thought about it at first. Derkeethus was a follower, and for some reason, those guys were the most resilient he had ever seen. He knew Lydia could eat and sleep sometimes when she was staying in Breezehome; but whenever someone was following him, they were restless.  
But again, Derkeethus wasn't any follower.

“I can't feel my legs.”, he simply said, still in his low, raspy voice. “Please...let's stop.”

“C'mon, we're almost at Falkreath. That won't kill you to walk some more, right?”

“I dunno...”

Karmyn looked at his friend, and checked his stats.

“Damn. Your Stamina is pretty low. If someone attacks, you'll be in no shape.”

“S'that all you thinking about? When was the last time _you_ cared about power attacks?”

“That's no power attacks we're talking about. Look...let's rest for a little. You really look like you need it.”

As Derkeethus sat on a rock, trying to catch his breath, Karmyn pulled some food out of his inventory.

“Eat some soup. You'll feel better.”

He sat next to him, carefully putting his hand on his friend's shoulder.

“Sorry if I'm a bit too harsh. I'm just...so excited about all the quests I've finally found. Now we have some thing to do.”

“I can understand. That's fine. But when you start doing only quests for days straight, well...let's just say not everyone has the strength of the Dragonborn.”

Karmyn shrugged, eating from his own bowl of apple cabbage stew. Outside of battle, he didn't have to eat in unhealthily large quantities, and could enjoy a casual meal.  
There were many things he would have liked to enjoy. Living a simple life, with no dragons. Open his shop at 8am every morning, sell potions and ingredients to travelers, share homecooked meals with his potential spouse. He wondered if anyone would have liked to marry him if he hadn't been the Dragonborn. Not that he cared. But still, he would have wanted to know. He would never have met Derkeethus if he hadn't been an adventurer, a dragon slayer.  
The quick succession of the separate thoughts that were his potential marriage and his best friend somehow mingled the two of them, resulting in an alternate reality where he would have...married him?  
Karmyn let the thought slide in his head for a second, unsure of whether he should accept it or smother it away in some remote corner of his mind. He was quite unsure about how he felt towards this idea, or towards Derkeethus himself. He liked him, of course. The same way he had liked everyone who had stick to his side for this long. Or the way liked really close friends he had several times helped, and who had helped him in return. Also they were Hist brothers, how could he honestly not like him? He truthfully appreciated his daily presence. That was in his loving nature.  
But was Derkeethus the kind of guy who could fit in a married, family-oriented life? Probably not. Derkeethus was a troublemaker, just like him. He loved the taste of adventure, the sweet promise of danger that reeked from the entrance of caves. Fighting bandits and thugs was a game for him. Although he never acted out of naive, sheer kindness, he liked to help people. Especially if they had got the coin. He never did anything for free, but then he'd say he doesn't care about money. He was rather humble, even if his anxiety sometimes got the upper hand of him.  
Karmyn never realized he and Derkeethus were so much alike. Maybe their alternate-reality-marriage could have worked. Maybe they'd have done something more than just getting along, drawn together by the necessities of dragonslaying. It could have been something great...could have it been?  
And maybe...maybe today, there could be a chance that-

“So how does it feel?”

“Hmm?”, Karmyn emitted, broken out of his thoughts. “What feel?”

“Y'know.”, Derkeethus asked. “Eating a dragon's soul.”

Oh, that.  
During their exploration spree, Karmyn and Derkeethus had encountered several weak dragons, and had promptly taken care of them; both of them were now at ease with the fact they had to kill those gigantic reptiles by themselves, more often than Derkeethus could have thought.  
But every time they took one down, this weird dragon soul-absorbing ritual was happening to Karmyn. He was then behaving weirdly, toying with all the Dragonborn magic until the soul was fully absorbed within him. Derkeethus didn't know what Karmyn could do with all of these, or where they were stored, and to which use they were put. He never had heard of anyone having more than one soul in their being, even if he knew cases of Argonian hatchlings being too hard on the Hist sap and almost swallowing the wrong soul, or one too many.  
Derkeethus was truly amazed by whatever happened when Karmyn took a dragon's soul. His body would light up, surrounded by this magical glow, and then the dragon's soul would rise in the air from its burning corpse, and slither all around the Dragonborn like some kind of Dunmer pyrotechnical spectacle. If the dragon had been one of those rare Elder or Ancient Dragons, sometimes the energy would be so strong, Karmyn would float some inches above the ground as he absorbed all their power. Whenever he did, his face was showing the same expression of pleasure, a bliss so powerful Derkeethus could almost feel it. Karmyn would stay silent during the whole process, but sometimes a muffled moan could be heard from him, or a somewhat pained whimper in case of larger souls.  
Derkeethus obviously had never absorbed a single dragon soul in all of his lives, but Karmyn's reactions were leaving him wondering. What kind of pleasure could be drawn from taking a living being's soul? The green-scaled Argonian was left with so many questions, and only now did he dare to ask Karmyn about it.

“You know.”, Derkeethus went on. “That ain't everyday someone gobbles up the soul of such a beast. How does it feel?”

Karmyn swallowed some stew, but remained silent. How could he ever find the words to describe such a feeling? Was it even something that could be explained easily? He feared Derkeethus wouldn't understand what he wanted to express.

“It...feels good.”

“And...nothing else?”

Karmyn shrugged.

“Well, I guess it sometimes...feels a little more than just 'good'. But I don't know how to explain.”

“Care to try?”

Karmyn looked at his friend with a slight alright grin. Derkeethus really wanted to know about his feelings, now. What next? Good thing he couldn't read his earlier thoughts about married life. Still, Karmyn tried to give an answer, not without hesitating about his words.

“It's...At first, I feel powerful. I… I see my own soul, sort of, and all the power inside, and it's really mighty. It's something both wonderful...and terrifying.”

The green-scaled Argonian didn't reply, and kept listening.

“I feel my power merging with the dragon's, and it's amazing, for I feel overpowered...but it's also heartbreaking, as if I were killing one of my closest Hist brothers. That's something quite dark, actually. Something even fearsome.”

Derkeethus had stopped eating, and was all ears to Karmyn.

“But then...”, Karmyn went on, as his eyes were lighting up with emotion, “it feels so good. It's almost some kind of pleasure. There's nothing but light, and my mind gets so blurred and...it's kind of ecstatic, really.”

By his tone, which seemed even more thoughtful each second that passed, Derkeethus knew Karmyn was as amazed as him by the experience. He could understand somehow, how it could feel, even if he didn't. This impression was weird, but he brushed it off.

“And then I suck up their soul, and...I suddenly feel regretful.”

His cheer vanished as he said these words, to be replaced with something darker.

“I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing. Dragons are to me like brothers of a distant Hist. I never wanted to kill them. ”

What he was telling seemed like some experience straight out of a traumatism, something he couldn't tell without suffering inside. He stopped, and Derkeethus thought he had made a mistake by asking him. Karmyn didn't finish his explanation, instead looking somewhat grim. Spiteful.

“I...I'm sorry.”, Derkeethus tried to say. “I never knew...”

“That's fine.”

Karmyn sighed.

“And that's the whole problem. Dragons are killers. They hurt many people in their dangerous spree, so they have to be stopped. Anyone can get that.”

His face darkened.

“And I, the Dovahkiin, the only one with the power to stop Alduin...have to feel as if I slaughter my own kind. Can you imagine how painful it is? But yet it feels amazingly good, and I don't know what to think of it...am I that much of a bad person that I actually take pleasure in killing others?”

He buried his chin in his palms, and said nothing else. But Derkeethus felt his emotions, his sadness through body language. And something that seemed to him like regret.  
Slowly, he let his hand rest on Karmyn's shoulder, who didn't react. But now, he could feel his emotions quite more clearly. The way his scales were shivering very slightly under the leather of his armor wasn't from nervousness, but from something closer to doubt. Insecurity.  
Ignoring the anxious voice in his head, Derkeethus carefully brushed his thumb across the few patches of blue skin visible on his neck. Karmyn still didn't verbally reply, but he appreciated the touch, as shown by a very slight movement of his tail.  
Derkeethus kept running his fingers over the unprotected parts of Karmyn's neck, tracing slight circles near his spine, delicately brushing his thumb over the short thorns on his jawline. He could feel him breathing, a soft rhythm that put his mind at peace. Karmyn was less tense now, and maybe even liked the contact. Derkeethus noticed he was slightly brushing his skin against his palm, as to tell him to go on. Derkeethus honestly liked to make his friend feel better, may it be through kind words or by a gentle touch like this one. He wanted Karmyn to be happy; and as a follower, he would do almost anything for him.  
Slowly enough not to startle him, Karmyn let himself get embraced by Derkeethus's arm, and rested his head on his shoulder, careful not to hurt any of them with their armor thorns.

“It's gonna be alright.”, Derkeethus spoke after a long moment of silence. “You know you're not doing the wrong thing.”

Karmyn sighed.

“What makes you say so?”

“You know. Look at humans. Some are bad, and they have to be stopped by their own kind. Sometimes if they're too dangerous, they must be killed. That's nothing wrong.”

Derkeethus kept stroking Karmyn's spine, patting his back with tenderness.

“I'm sure it feels hard to do, but...I mean, humans do it all the time. And I'm sure there are dragons out there who don't want to kill people out there. I mean, the one at the Greybreads' sure didn't seem like a killer to me.”

“True.”

Karmyn closed his eyes, letting himself be caught into his friend's sweet embrace. He kind of liked his smell, and the feeling of being secure that associated with it.

“And you know...I don't think dragons that love to harm and destroy can be considered your kind. You're nothing like that. You're always...so kind, and generous, and merciful, when it doesn't come to bad guys. You're way better than them.”

Derkeethus then looked at him in the eyes, probably deep enough to stare into his soul.

“You're not like them. You're a noble, honest dragon-blooded. Those evil and twisted creatures do not deserve to be called your kind. You're way above them.”

Karmyn smiled slightly, but remained silent for a while. Derkeethus kept embracing him, stroking his back with care, listening to his calm breathing. It was such a nice feeling. Never he had been this close with anyone, but he liked this kind of touch. It was as if they were sharing a secret no one else was aware of, and he loved it. He loved how close they had become over time and hardships, so close they could tell each other nearly everything. Their fears, their hopes, their dreams and their nightmares. In times like this, Derkeethus wouldn't have given up the sole true friendship he had, for anything in the world.  
Karmyn's arm slipped out of Derkeethus's embrace, and their hands met. None of them objected, for it seemed only natural to them at this point. Neither said anything, or even tried to convey emotions; there was no need to.  
They kept this embrace for a good while, only surprised by the breaking of dawn. They stood up, now feeling much better than before.

“So...”, Derkeethus offered, “still want to head to whatever cave was planned?”

“That's the way.”

Their hands were still tied together, but they didn't care. It was a contact they both enjoyed, although they had to break it when wild bears attacked.  
But it didn't really matter. They'd have plenty of time later to hold hands.

~~~~~

“So...that's the place.”, Derkeethus remarked as they arrived.

“Yeah. A simple cave, but I'm sure the relic is in there.”

“So. What are we waiting for?”

Karmyn nodded, looking into his inventory, and pulling out some arrows.

“I first need to trade some things with you.”

“I see. Need me to carry something?”

Karmyn gave Derkeethus a bunch of Daedric Arrows, as well as a shiny-looking Ebony Bow enchanted with Fear.

“You'll need some of that. Your current equipment is great, but...hmm, wait a second.”

He meddled with his storage system for a moment, before pulling out a long, black rod.

“I was wondering where I left that one. But you can have it.”

“What's that?”, Derkeethus asked as he took the staff in hand.

“A Staff of the Storm Atronach. I made it while I was at the Winterhold College. I don't really like staffs, so you can keep it.”

Derkeethus looked at the rod.

“I don't know how to use those kinds of things.”

“That'll come somehow. Now come on, I can already smell the Word of Power underneath!”

Derkeethus shrugged, traded the staff for his Glass Sword, and followed Karmyn inside.  
The cairn wasn't very deep, and tons of mushrooms covered the ground. Karmyn didn't waste the opportunity to gather ingredients, as Derkeethus was progressing further down. That's when he found a weird, glowing pile of rocks, bathed in coagulated blood.

“Gross.”, he said as he examinated it.

Slouched over the rocks was a dead body. Derkeethus searched through his pockets, grabbing some gold, letting the weak equipment in place, and Karmyn walked to a nearby pedestal, picking up a book and a key.

“This guy has gone crazy and killed himself.”, he said upon reading the diary. “Some guy named Halldir drove him to madness.”

“Lemme guess. We'll have to beat him up, right?”

“Seems so. But still...there's something about this place that gives me the creeps.”

They progressed through the door, and quickly saw Karmyn was right: this place was filled with ghosts. Slightly unsettled, Karmyn summoned Seeker first, and readied his Dragonscale Shield.

“Scared?”, Derkeethus asked, with more worry than mockery.

“A little.”, Karmyn agreed. “I've seen ghosts before, but still...can you kill one who's already dead? I always have this thought.”

Derkeethus didn't reply, and offered Karmyn a hand. He took it, and both of them progressed, swishing their swords at the Draugr and the ghostly figures of bandits all around.

“Watch out, there's a tripwire there. Here, let me just...duck!”

“That was close.”

This dungeon was the same as most of the Nord burial chambers they have encountered in their adventures, with Draugr and traps and puzzles. Lots of puzzles.

“There's only three pillars, so why are there four signs?”

“No, wait. The first two are eagles, then there is one fish and another pillar hidden somewhere.”

“That seems kind of- wait, don't pull the lever yet! Man, you're stubborn.”

“Shut up and help me, that hurts as Oblivion!”

“Come on, crybaby. Look, there are two more signs there. Snakes.”

“Hmmm...that leaves six signs for three pillars. What if…? Hey, turn this one around.”

“Like this?”

“Yeah. Now, lemme just...”

“Hey, that worked! You're a genius, pal.”

“You tell me.”

They have developed their exploring routine over time. In most cases, that meant arguing over which lever had to be pulled, where to go first and how to cross through complex rooms. But still, they could use their separate and common skills to form a great team. Most important was, they both had survived up to now, so why would there be any problems?  
After a while, the two Argonians entered a large room. A chest could be seen on the other side, and Karmyn knew the relic was in there. But in front of it stood a ghostly figure, that didn't look as friendly as could be.

“That's him.”, Derkeethus said. “Halldir. Right?”

“Right. Now watch out, who knows what-”

A sudden blast of fire staggered him to the ground. The boss had cloned himself, and he wasn't happy at all.

“Oh no you don't!”, Derkeethus hissed, drawing his sword and charging into battle.

His blade met the cold, misty but solid material of ghost armor, as he sliced and swept it trying to find the enemy's weak point. Karmyn stood up, summoned a Fire Atronach and charged the boss, but his health didn't move the slightest.

“We have to defeat the clones first!”, Karmyn exclaimed.

“I'm on it!”

Derkeethus rushed back, taking the left ghost clone with his sword, while Karmyn swished his blade at Halldir, hoping to break his defense. But the ghost was stronger; in a matter of seconds, Karmyn fell to the ground, his health way too low. The hilt of his sword slipped from his sweaty hand, and the blade fell through the grilled gate at his feet. Karmyn tried to reach for his inventory, but in his stress he was messing up all the commands. He felt a wave of shock pass through him as a sudden storm attack hit him, and tried to kick away his opponent...only to find out a huge Storm Atronach had already done that.

“Karmyn, you alright?”, Derkeethus called, helping him to stand up. “Don't worry, I've got this.”

Indeed, he had the Staff in hand, and used it to summon his Atronach in direction of the other ghosts.

“I'm fine.”, Karmyn replied, drinking a potion from his inventory. “Now let's go.”

He grabbed the handle of his greatsword, and charged into battle, swishing the heavy weapon with a rising skill. Derkeethus switched his staff for his new bow, and shot an arrow right into the corpse's face. Halldir staggered, stepping back with a cry of pain, and Karmyn shouted him into ice, before raising his sword and smashing it on the dead's skull, killing it.  
As ashes started to fall through the gate, Karmyn tried to calm his exhausted breath, while Derkeethus looted the remains for any useful gold.

“You really got the hang of that staff thing, you know.”, Karmyn commented after a moment.

“I just tried, and I used it. That's all.”

“I have many others at home, if you want.”

“Thanks. I'll remember that.”

Karmyn stood up, having recovered most of his Stamina, and walked to the chest. As he looked inside, Derkeethus opened the gate at his feet, and landed on the pile of glowing rocks from earlier, now collapsed, and picked up Karmyn's Ebony Sword. Seconds later, Karmyn jumped down, and they walked to the exit.

“So, about that relic.”, Derkeethus asked. “Got it?”

“Yep. I have to bring it back to Solitude...”

Derkeethus was already showing his 'oh, come on' face.

“...but first, we could stop at Dead Man's Drink. It's a nice inn in Falkreath. Have some mead.”

“Sounds somewhat better.”

They walked calmly, tired to always sprint as Karmyn would have wanted to. But after a minute, Derkeethus took Karmyn's sword, and handed it back to him.

“You forgot that.”

“Oh, thanks! I was wondering where it had gone.”

“Tell me something. There's no guild based in Solitude, so...who are you doing this for? And what's the relic, anyway?”

Karmyn then showed him what looked like...a drum. Derkeethus didn't understand at first, but then his face changed to his famous 'seriously?' expression.

“Don't tell me...”

“Yeah.”

“You mean...we did all of this for a drum?”

Karmyn nodded, and Derkeethus almost lost it.

“You mean… We almost got killed by traps, ghosts and nasty creatures, and got our tails nearly kicked because of the _Bards' College_?”

“Hey, that's a guild! It counts!”

“You're an idiot, you know?”

Karmyn put on a laughable, uptight tone.

“Don't call me such names! Afterall, I am a professional bard, freshly graduated out of the Bards' College in Solitude! Don't tell me what I am, because I'm not an idiot.”

He leaned closer to Derkeethus.

“I am the only hero who can sing his own adventures.”

They both laughed, and their hands found their way together once again. They didn't mind the touch; they were way above that. They were friends, afterall, made to protect each other. They kept walking together, soon reaching town, and Derkeethus told himself that at least, it had been a better quest than delivering love letters.

“Sing me a song, hero.”, he joked.

“Maybe later, dearest. Maybe later. But you do deserve it.”

Derkeethus rolled his eyes, but Karmyn kept thinking about this idea. It didn't sound bad at all. Maybe if he had some time later, he could think of good lyrics. Maybe even a matching tune. With such a friend as a muse, it would easily come to him. He loved serenades, afterall.  
Maybe he could have sung one at their alternate-reality-marriage. After all this time, he was still holding onto the idea that he and Derkeethus could have been more than Dragonborn and follower in some dragonless Nirn. The thought was simply nice to him, there was nothing else to add. Them holding hands was nice too. But with the dragons still alive, there was no way his nice fantasy could be real. He didn't really want to think about it any further, and dismissed the thought.  
That's when Derkeethus turned to him.

“Is everything alright? You've been sending weird signals for a moment.”

Karmyn tried to regain composure, but it was kind of hard with those splenderful green eyes looking at him.

“No...I'm fine. Kind of tired, actually.”

“It's not even noon.”

“I know. But I'm tired.”

Derkeethus rolled his eyes.

“Fine. We'll rent you a room, if you're too tired to walk to Windhelm.”

“Hey, you were the one complaining about being tired! You long-snout.”

Derkeethus ironically pouted at the childish insult, and tugged on Karmyn's hand.

“And I'll cook you some apple pie. Is that alright?”

Karmyn's eyes lit up at the thought of pie. Derkeethus loved how the simplest things could make him that happy. He loved how Karmyn was both a slayer with dark secrets and an almost traumatized mindset, and an overexcited sassy child who loved sugar and picking flowers. There was always a surprise with him, may it be the promise of dangerous adventure, pointless trails in nature to slack off and enjoy life, or simply something completely unpredictable. And Derkeethus loved that more than anything. He loved Karmyn's excitement for life, his cheer, even his sassy comments about almost anything.  
And even if he was too much insecure to admit it...he loved him a bit more everyday. He didn't know what it was or of which nature, but there was something. Something he both feared and enjoyed, hated and hoped for. The reason why he wasn't putting Karmyn's hand away this time, or why he was really looking forward to baking him a pie. He smiled, and their fingers tightened around each other's. Karmyn smiled back at him, an adorable grin that sent weird feelings to Derkeethus's chest as they entered the inn.  
He wondered where that could bring them.


	10. Wolfskull Cave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School, other projects, yadda yadda.  
> Have lizard fluff.

“And remember, darling, you can always count on me if you need help.”

“Thanks, Scouts. I'll remember.”

Derkeethus snorted as this short-tail by the name of Scouts-Many-Marshes wiggled his hips back to work. The way he had thanked Karmyn for his help had been laced with innuendos and implied offers, which Derkeethus didn't really agree with. This boy smelled of desperate frustration and sexual enticement, adding to his natural charm and feminine looks, almost like an animal in heat. Derkeethus wasn't sure whether Karmyn had taken the quite obvious hints of this “poor, hard-working Argonian who suffered the cruelty of the evil Nords”, as the boy had said himself with watery drama queen eyes. People like Scouts were the reason humans saw Argonians as animals bound to their most primal needs. Or maybe that reasoning was his imagination.  
Still, seeing the Argonian workers in the docks, Derkeethus was feeling kind of ashamed of his own condition, of the chance he had being the Dragonborn's follower and traveling companion. But the dockers were really nice to them nonetheless, and Karmyn did what he could to speak with their managers, as to help them get better payment for their hard work.  
Among the three Argonians they have met, Scouts was the youngest. Freshly arrived from Black Marsh, he had hoped for a good life in Skyrim, but didn't understand yet how cruel and discriminatory people were to foreigners. He had to work many low-class jobs to survive, and Derkeethus was sure he had sold his body many times.  
Working with him were Shahvee and Neetrenaza, who both have been brought as slaves years ago. Shahvee was the oldest of the group, and kind of a mother figure to the boys, mostly in the “this is the last time I make up for your mess” and “get up you lazy scales we have work to do” ways. Neetrenaza was silent, not one to care much about anything, but everything withing him was giving off a “don't mess with my friends” vibe. They were an odd group altogether, but they were friendly and generous despite their poverty. Of course, Karmyn immediately made friends with them, and Derkeethus followed. However, he disliked the way Scouts was talking, acting towards Karmyn, as if he wanted to seduce him.  
That thought first sounded irrational to him, but Derkeethus had started to worry about his own feelings. Was it jealousy that made him feel this way? He did not hate Scouts as a character. But whenever he interacted with Karmyn, a sharp and stealth instinct was rising in his brain. Something that told him not to let himself be ditched by this younger, more sexually active male. Something that told him to fight him one-on-one and wreck his face. But he was more clever than his animalistic reflexes, and stayed out of fight; plus, it wasn't like Karmyn was leaning towards Scouts's advances.  
When they left the docks, they headed to Hjerim, to put their stuff down and rest for a moment. As Karmyn went to fetch some potions in his laboratory, Derkeethus sat on the bench, eating a piece of bread from the table. While decorating it with Dwemer dishes and stolen shiny cups, he had spilled most of the food and turned most of the silverware upside down, and Derkeethus had to spend a whole afternoon cleaning up. He was a skilled fighter and knew lots of magic, but couldn't decorate a house for a septim. Derkeethus put the vegetables back in the engraved copper bowls, which Karmyn had brought back from their last descent into a dwarven city. Those were pretty, he had said.  
Derkeethus looked around the house. In their spare time, Karmyn had re-decorated the rooms, with Derkeethus fixing the mess afterwards. A nice rug made of old dragon scales provided a nice chaffing on his feet, snow bear pelts adorned the walls and the beds, and magelights added a fascinating touch. Old rings and jewels have been turned into ornamenting trinkets, adding a shiny touch to Hjerim's Nord charm. When given full potential, Karmyn was someone very creative, who could do a lot of amazing things.  
With Karmyn around, even the darkest cave could feel like home.  
Derkeethus heard the sound of water splashing, and the air smelled of something warm and sweet like dragon's tongue. Karmyn was probably taking a bath right now; he had repurposed an old room next to the laboratory into a nice and much-needed bathroom. Derkeethus took off his helmet, knowing he would be there for hours. He walked upstairs, to his bedroom, and lay down on his bed, taking his chance to rest for a moment. Sleeping in armor wasn't a problem for him anymore, but he took it off anyway. However, seeing its current state, he decided to give it a good wash.  
Looking at all the blood and dirt that got lodged in-between glass plates, he recalled the many travels, fights and adventures that brought these in the first place. The scratches and bumps on the metal had been earned from long-fought battles, which had made his blood rush many times, and made him believe his last day had come. The leather inside was moist and soft from sweat, with shed scales sticking to it. His weapons were in no better condition.  
Derkeethus checked all of his equipment thoroughly, and recharged enchanted items with soul gems. Karmyn had taught him how to use them, and although he had been a little creeped out at first, he no longer felt guilt when harvesting animal souls. It made him feel like a mage, with real magic blood. Of course he knew some basic spells, those lesser wards and tiny flames they teach schoolchildren, but compared to him, Karmyn was a living library of spells and charms and counter-charms and for Seth's sake, he was the Archmage of Winterhold! That said a lot about his magic potential, even without his abilities of Dragonborn.  
Derkeethus still had a lot to learn before he could do any decent magic. But maybe Karmyn wouldn't mind teaching him?  
The latter was not getting out of the bath anytime soon, seeing how the scent of dragon's tongue-perfumed soap was slowly filling the house. But Derkeethus wasn't one to complain.  
He removed the miner's clothes he was wearing underneath his armor, and put them in his wardrobe, looking for something warmer for the season. As he looked at himself in the mirror, choosing a set of standard garments, he noticed how his body had changed for the past few months. He wasn't as skinny as he used to be, and his muscles had swollen a little. He had many bruises and shallow cuts, cured by potions, along with the typical injuries of a miner. However, his palms weren't as coarse, having been under thick gloves, and his tail had a tendency to swing a little instead of being down all the time. Living with Karmyn and fighting by his side had changed him a lot, and he liked it.  
Thinking of Karmyn, what could he be doing that took so long? Surely did he fall asleep in the tub again, lost in his blank state of mind. Well, there was no need to worry, as the dragons always seemed to wait for the Dragonborn to come around. Derkeethus would have loved to clean himself as well, but Karmyn was apparently determined to use up all of the water magic, along with the fire bath salts. Once more.  
Maybe if he went downstairs right now, he could still try to have some hot water left. If Karmyn was lost in his thoughts again (which was most likely the case), he wouldn't mind a quick intrusion in his privacy.  
Karmyn wasn't someone very bashful. Maybe because he had lived alone most of his life, times happened when he forgot the basic rules of decency with his housemate. He would sometimes strut around the house naked to the waist or grab items with his tail; worst was he would loosen his body cues, showing every Argonian in a radius of twenty meters around a large “I am single and lonely” signal, with lots of blinking lights. Needless to say, Derkeethus had had troubles not to pick up on these.  
Karmyn hadn't been raised by Argonians after childhood, and as such didn't know how to control most of his mature body language, even though he had sucked on the Hist sap just like him. He didn't know that the way he was waggling his tail when happy was both childish and fight-tempting, he didn't know that winking was either seduction or complicity depending on which eye, he didn't know many of his trademark gestures and mimics had double-meanings that could easily make a situation very awkward. Good thing there were very few Argonians living in Skyrim, else he would have started so many feuds across the province.  
He was truly one of a kind.  
Derkeethus noticed his hands had been running on his half-naked body for a moment, as he got lost in his thoughts. The feeling had him slightly delighted, not to say aroused. Quite ashamed, he put on his garments, saving the bath for the evening, and went downstairs. The scent of flowers had ceased, replaced by burning wax and canis root. He was currently brewing potions.  
Derkeethus headed to the laboratory, seeing if he could at least get some water to fully clean his gear, and met a strong flowery aroma coming from the blue Argonian.

“What took you so long?”, Derkeethus asked. “For a moment I thought you had found a way to drown in the tub.”

“I can breathe underwater, you know.”

“You'd find a way. That wouldn't surprise me.”

He chuckled. Even his laugh was cute.

“You're right. If it weren't for you, I'd forget everything about my reptile blood. But thanks to the great Derkeethus, I shall live another day.”

There wasn't sarcasm in his words, rather amusement. His little smirk was awfully adorable.

“So...did you want to use the bathroom?”, he asked.

Startled by the question, Derkeethus stuttered a little.

“Er...no, that's fine. Just...needed to clean my stuff. Y'know. Swords, and all.”

Karmyn glanced at his own weapons, hanging on the weapon plaques on the wall of the laboratory.

“Yeah, of course. Go ahead, I need to replenish some health potions.”

Derkeethus headed to the water room, and groaned at the mess. Sighing, he picked up the scattered vials of scale care potions and bath soaps, putting them nicely on the shelf. At least they weren't empty this time.  
Filling the stone tub halfway with easy-to-use water magic, Derkeethus sat on the edge, and started rubbing his equipment with a wet cloth. Once released from dirt and blood, the metal was already a lot more shinier.  
Derkeethus always put a lot of care into his clothes and tools, given he had the time. Coming from an uneasy household, he never had much material possessions to begin with and needed to take a good care of the few he had. He knew how to sew and repair most basic tools, and mostly knew how to live on his own with low pay. He managed to bake a whole pie out of a cup of flour and a dry apple, or cook the most delicious fish stew of Eastmarch with stir fry.  
Karmyn, on the other hand, was kind of messy and in need of some help. He sure could do basic chores and care for himself, but without someone to push him around, he'd barely live a healthy life, not counting all the Dragonborn duties. Karmyn was a cliché of eternal bachelor who'd throw a pair of carrots and a mushroom in hot water and call it a meal, was more than happy to oversleep his chores and (if his Argonian nature didn't need regular water) would bathe every once in a twin blue moon.  
And yet, he still was a great housemate.

“Smells good in here.”, Karmyn said, as he entered the water room.

Derkeethus kept scrubbing between the metal plates of his armor, trying to get rid of a chunk of dirt that got lodged inbetween.

“I just used some beeswax to clean the glass. Do you mind?”

“'Course not. But if you keep soaking it like that, it won't clean.”

Karmyn took some vials on the shelf, and spread some gelatinous liquid on Derkeethus's Glass boots.

“The first thing when taking care of an armor is to proceed step by step. If you try to make it shine right away, it won't work.”

He took a wet cloth, and spread the flower-scented gel all over the metal. The caked mud started to stick onto it, forming a thick layer of dry dirt.

“That's a gel made of Deathbell nectar and Spriggan sap. All of the dirt sticks to it, that makes it easier to remove.”

He let it dry for a moment while giving the same treatment to Derkeethus's gloves, then took his pocket knife and removed the layer of dirt. The metal underneath was a little tarnished, but it was now clean. Karmyn rubbed it with a wet cloth, cleaning the remaining dust away, and the metal regained its pristine shine.

“And there you go. All shiny and new. If you rub some wax on it, it will help preserve the shine.”

Derkeethus whistled in admiration.

“That's some fine skills you have there, friend.”

“I just learned how to do it.”

Karmyn handed him the cleaner, before finishing his scrubbing.  
The two Argonians spent a couple hours in the water room cleaning their equipment, sharing their tips on how to remove blood and vampire dust from clothes, or how to sharpen blades with as little metal loss as possible. Karmyn actually knew many things about keeping his weapons efficient and clean, whereas Derkeethus was skilled in housekeeping and domestic life hacks.

“Have you ever tried removing frostbite venom off a wooden floor?”

“No, why?”

“This xhuth dries as soon as it touches air and makes gross black pebbles that stick and don't break. No choice but to remove planks all around.”

“Your life is really mesmerizing.”

“You tell me.”

They had a good time laughing, sharing their various stories while removing blood from metal and leather. Usually they didn't take much time for themselves, being always somewhere in Skyrim doing missions and killing beasts. They loved breaks like these, where they could afford being free from the burden of the armor. No dragons, no quests; simply two friends doing chores while chatting happily.  
It took them hours, but they finally managed to restore all of their stuff to its former shine and resistance. The bathroom stone floor was covered in dirt clods and water; Derkeethus went fetching a broom in a wardrobe, and swept it out of the house. He was about to mop the small puddles away, when he heard the sound of water running.

“You're taking a bath again?”, he asked to Karmyn, who was already shirtless.

“Oh, I'd like to. But I don't need one as much as you do.”

He pointed to Derkeethus's arms, which were soiled with dirt and broken scales.

“Come on, it's warm.”

Derkeethus shrugged. While they were at it, why not? He was starting to smell weird, anyway. While Karmyn was gathering their stuff back into his bottomless pockets, looking away, Derkeethus took off his clothes, and got in the filled tub. The water was warm, spring-clear and smelled nice.  
He didn't really know how water magic worked, but he trusted Karmyn. He knew the water wouldn't suddenly boil or freeze him to death, neither would it vanish or turn into blood. As he had started training with his staff and experimenting with wards, he had become quite familiar with magic and its practical uses. Magic in its most domestic form was easy to learn, and while most people in Skyrim were still wary of it, they wouldn't deny a pocket magelight or self-heating cooking pots. Many could learn basic wards and healing spells even outside of Winterhold, and guards were sometimes trained in offensive magic. The world was changing, slowly but steadily.  
Between two breaths, Derkeethus caught whiff of a strong scent coming from behind. Something like musk or sweat, that made his blood rush a little. He turned around, and saw Karmyn, staring at him with strange eyes.

“Hey...what are you staring at?”, Derkeethus said out of embarrassment, hastily trying to cover himself.

Karmyn seemed to regain some composure.

“Oh, sorry. I… I just...”

He seemed flustered, trying to find his words while looking away. He mumbled something, which Derkeethus didn't hear.

“...you're handsome, that's all. Never noticed.”, he said.

Derkeethus thought he had misheard.

“Wait...what?”

He thought he was lying, but the strong scent of pheromones was saying otherwise. Once again, Karmyn had let go of his body cues.

“You...think so?”, he asked, this time with less embarrassment.

“Well...yeah.”

His glances became less scanning, and a little more endearing. However, his voice was still somewhat hesitant, as if he didn't want to speak his true mind.

“You have strong arms. Great for wielding swords.”, he muttered.

Maybe it was the floating pheromones in the air, but Derkeethus slightly lowered his guard. Karmyn didn't want to attract him the slightest or subdue him in any way; he probably wasn't aware of his own signals. But the musk scent that made Derkeethus's mind flutter a little was a sign that Karmyn was, at the very least, a little aroused.  
Derkeethus reached for a flask of scale cleaner on the side of the tub, but it was pretty much empty. Wanting to make himself useful, Karmyn got another one on the shelf, and handed it to him. When their fingers brushed together, they exchanged glances, feeling both a little flustered and intrigued by the contact.  
The air around them was warm, shrouded in a thin perfumed mist. The proximity to water was only helping their connection. Karmyn smiled gently, and Derkeethus nodded slightly.  
Karmyn spread some scale soap on his palms, made it foam a little, and applied it on Derkeethus's coarse back. His hands were still rough from their cleaning work, but his fingers were agile. Pressing into his skin with his palms, he made sure to scrub off the dirt and shed scales, while massaging his back muscles. Derkeethus was a little anxious at first, but let himself be cared for, for that was making Karmyn happy. That man was skilled in many things, and being kind-hearted was one of them. As he massaged Derkeethus's shoulders, the scent of pheromones diluted into the air, until it vanished completely. His awkward arousal had been replaced by something more genuine, a deep-rooted affection that was carefully taking its time to bloom.  
Derkeethus let his head rest against Karmyn's shoulder, for the two have become physically closer during their contact. The blue Argonian's hands moved to his waist, continuing their relaxing motions, but didn't wander anywhere below. Something deep within Derkeethus knew it was only a matter of time before he'd do anyway, and this thought provoked a strange feeling in his stomach; but he appreciated the care and attention shown by his friend, who made sure to clean him thoroughly, wherever he was permitted to touch. The rest Derkeethus handled himself, with Karmyn looking away whenever his friend felt uneasy. However, Derkeethus had to be honest: he really liked their touch, liked how Karmyn's hands were feeling against his scales, which were now clean and shimmering in water.

“Do you often do this with your followers?”, Derkeethus asked after a moment.

“Not really. I mean, Lydia and I have never been that close.”

Derkeethus didn't know why he was asking that. Maybe was he looking for a form of relief in knowing that his friend had only been that close with him?  
He didn't like his own recent behavior. How anxious he had felt about Karmyn's past romantic life, or how he would react to Scouts-Many-Marshes's advances. Was it jealousy? Was he too obsessive over him? What if Karmyn were to be sickened by this possessive behavior? Would he part away from him, their friendship tarnished by Derkeethus's manners?

“Is something wrong, friend?”, Karmyn asked. “You're all stiff and tense.”

Derkeethus turned to him, but didn't dare looking at him in the eyes.

“Nothing… I'm just a little stressed out, that's all.”

Karmyn didn't seem convinced.

“ _Is there something you would like to tell me?_ ”, he asked in their native language, which rendered words closest to the truth of his mind.

Derkeethus let his head rest on Karmyn's shoulder, silent for a moment. He would have loved to be honest with him, but what could he say? And how would he react?

“Tell me, partner...”, he hesitated in Cyrodillic. “You know that this Argonian boy at the docks was hitting on you, right?”

He felt Karmyn's chest tremble slightly as he chuckled.

“How could I not see someone as obvious as Scouts? This guy is in perpetual heat.”

Derkeethus didn't say anything, but Karmyn put his hand around his shoulders.

“Could it be you're jealous?”

Derkeethus sputtered some mumbled denies.

“What...no, I'm not! I mean…me, being jealous of him? Have you seen him? What's to be jealous of?”

Karmyn's chuckles turned into laughter. Not a mocking kind, but sympathetic giggles that lifted some weight off Derkeethus's mind.

“You're completely jealous, friend.”

Karmyn ran his hands over the back of his friend's neck, tracing little circles with his fingers. The touch had Derkeethus slightly appeased.

“Why would you think I'd have anything to do with him? Especially… when I have someone like you.”

These words made the green Argonian's stomach twist again, in a good way. Karmyn's hands descended to his upper back, massaging him still in that relaxing manner. His silent lips let go of a tiny, muted moan.

“You don't have to worry about that. I don't really care much about finding myself a partner, but if I had to choose, I wouldn't take someone like Scouts.”

Suddenly, he found himself trapped in a strong embrace. Derkeethus buried his head in Karmyn's neck, careful not to stab him with his curved horns. Karmyn smiled, and patted his back.

“ _There, there. I won't let you down. I promise._ ”

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry I thought...”

“It's alright. Can't say I wouldn't have had the same ideas if I were in your shoes.”

Karmyn trailed his fingers along Derkeethus's spine, slowly pressing his way up and down, in such a way Derkeethus eased in a matter of seconds.

“Let's clean you up, would you? We still have to head to Wolfskull's Cave.”

“That can wait.”

Karmyn chuckled.

“Alright, you're the boss.”

He grabbed a bar of dragon's tongue soap, and rubbed some on his arms.

“If you need me, I'll be there for an hour or so.”

“What, again?”

“See those shiny blue scales? They need time and care to reveal their true sapphire gleam. I can't afford to spend less time than needed on those beauties.”

“Oh, come on. You're kidding, right?”

“Nope.”

Before Karmyn's xhuth-eating grin, Derkeethus sighed, and casually rinsed soap off his own body.

“At least let me some horn powder, this time. My horns are longer than yours and thus have priority.”

“Alright, but you'll have to wash my back in return.”

“Deal.”

They smiled, and laughed it off together.  
As he rubbed Karmyn's sore skin, Derkeethus realized he didn't know how far he was actually willing to go with Karmyn, and where the latter could want to go. But he was sure of something: they would go there together. They'd form a pair even greater than who they were right now.  
Little did he know, Karmyn didn't have a clue either. Although he was certain of something: the Dragonborn and his trusted follower were made to last.


	11. Talos's Shrine

“Now, just get your leg onto the other side.”

“L...like this?”

“Yeah, you got it! Don't worry, I'm right there.”

Derkeethus grabbed the reins in his trembling hands, uneasy about the horse's slight movements that might have him falling off. Karmyn helped him readjusting his position on the saddle, giving Frost a few calming strokes. 

“There. How does it feel?”

Derkeethus swallowed nervously. He had never ridden a horse before.

“It's kinda high.”

“Don't worry. Once you get the hang of it, it'll be like walking. Trust me.”

Karmyn took the bridle in hand, and led Frost around for a few steps. Derkeethus tried not to seem as scared as he really was, and held on.

“That's great! Just put your back a little straighter. There's place for your tail.”

“It feels nice...but I don't know whether I could get used to it.”

The blue Argonian smiled, and led Frost some steps forward.

“I know it's kinda stressful, but you have to relax. The horse can feel your fear.”

“That's not reassuring at all.”

“Trust me.”

Derkeethus stabilized himself, releasing some pressure off the saddle. Karmyn led him around the farm building, under Katla's wondering gaze, careful not to step on any chickens. After a moment, Karmyn let go of the bridle, encouraging Derkeethus to lead Frost by himself.

“Don't pull too hard on the reins. A slight tug is enough.”

“It doesn't seem that hard, after all...”

Karmyn smiled as he got onto Shadowmere's saddle, and followed his friend around. Together they trotted around the paths, with Karmyn occasionally giving riding advice to his friend. 

“Gently tap with your heels to make him go faster. Gently.”

It was a warm day of mid-Second Seed. Karmyn has earned new knowledge of his role as Dragonborn, mostly because he had gotten his hands on the so-coveted Elder Scroll. At his side, Derkeethus also has progressed a lot, especially in magical domains. Even though his healing spells would still sting a little, he was doing his best to get better when he tried. Thanks to practical training, he could now brew basic potions, cast most of the Novice and even some Apprentice spells, and his skill in Archery got improved. 

“You're doing great, pal.”, Karmyn said after a moment. “I'm proud of you.”

Derkeethus grinned slightly.

“I'm sure I can still do better.”

He let go of the reins, raising his hands as Frost kept walking.

“Look, no hands. I'm mastering this.”

He showed his most triumphant face, only to scaredily grab back the reins a second later, as Frost had accelerated out of the blue. Karmyn chuckled.

“Yep. Truest master of horse riding.”

“Shut up. I wasn't ready. That didn't count.”

But he still chuckled a little himself.

“We can keep going by foot, if you want. Horses aren't allowed within the city.”

“Why so? If Solitude lets in short-snouts like you, they can let horses enter.”

Karmyn didn't reply, long used to the childish comment, as he got down his horse. Tying Shadowmere's bridle to the post, he pushed the doors of the big city, Derkeethus following him straight to the Blue Palace. 

“I still can't believe you have fought a whole squad of necromancers by yourself.”, Derkeethus commented during their walk.

“Couldn't have done it without you. Your swordfighting skills did save my tail back there.”

“Nah. You were the real hero.”

“Duh. How could I survive without you to save me whenever I do something stupid?”

He grinned, holding Derkeethus by the shoulder. 

“I don't know what I'd do without you, friend.”

As they entered the Palace, they headed straight to the Jarl's throneroom despite the watchful guards. It was still pretty early in the morning, but Karmyn had had this mission in his quest list for weeks before deciding to actually go and complete it, so he'd better as well get rewarded for it.

“Still.”, Derkeethus mentioned. “Never knew you'd side with the Imperials.”

“For the last time, I'm not siding with no one. But when someone as rich as Elisif the Fair offers me a side duty, I can't deny.”

Once they got to the Throne room and had bowed a little, Karmyn turned to Falk Firebeard, taking his shoeshiner face. 

“Wolfskull's Cave has been cleared. Some necromancers have been trying to summon Potema.”

As expected, the steward put on a shocked face.

“The Wolf Queen? This is dreadful...I never could have known...”

“They all say that.”, Karmyn muttered as he was handed a coin pouch. 

He then turned to the Jarl, and engaged in conversation, as Derkeethus looked around the throne room. There were pretty flowers in those pots, maybe he could craft something out of them.  
If he had known, some months earlier, that he would have entered the Blue Palace in Solitude accompanied with the Dragonborn himself, and picked flowers from their pots, he sure would have laughed. But here he was, and the guards weren't even trying to kick him out. How odd was that? He didn't know himself, and didn't really want to anyway.  
Knowing Karmyn has been one Oblivion of a ride.

“Hey, friend.”, the Dovahkiin said. “How about we go for another mission, while we're out there?”

“Lemme guess. You're really keen on buying that house, are you?”

“I've helped the citizens of Solitude, but to buy Proudspire Manor, I first need to do something. This one is just a quick fetch.”

Derkeethus shrugged, and followed his friend as he was jumping down the flight of stairs and hurrying out of the Palace.  
Karmyn was one Oblivion of a guy.

“So, where are we headed to?”, Derkeethus asked, as they were riding southwards.

“The Shrine of Talos, near Shimmermist Cave.”

“Did my ears deceive me? Why would Elisif send you there? Isn't the cult of Talos, like...forbidden by the Imperials?”

Karmyn showed him what seemed to be a hollow, engraved horker tusk he had produced from his inventory.

“It belonged to King Torygg. His wife wants me to bring it to the shrine. Something about Nord funeral rituals.”

Derkeethus whistled of admiration. 

“You're not joking when you say you've met all the gratin of Skyrim. First Jarl Balgruuf, then Ulfric Stormcloak, and now you run errands for Elisif the Fair! What next, you're gonna meet the Emperor or something?”

“Eh...I'd better not venture on these grounds.”

Derkeethus again didn't feel time pass as they reached Shimmermist Cave. Maybe being around Karmyn had a time-altering effect. That was the only explanation Derkeethus had found so far.

“If we hike up this path, we will get to the shrine in no time.”

“And then?”

“Don't know yet. Maybe have lunch by the riverside. Sounds good?”

Derkeethus replied something, but his words were silenced by a tremendous roar that made his blood boil.  
There was no need for the two of them to say anything. Getting off their horses, they rushed towards the dragon.

“It's flying towards the mountains!”

“Too far. We'll lose sight of it.”

Karmyn grinned. 

“Just wait and see.”

He took in a deep breath, eyes locked on the dragon. Out of habit, Derkeethus covered his ears as Karmyn shouted.  
His soundwaves hit the dragon, which got drenched in a blue flash of light. As if it was drawn towards the ground, it dived down, and shook the ground as it landed.

“Dragonrend.”, Karmyn commented as they were rushing in. 

He drew his Mace and Derkeethus summoned his Atronach. The dragon saw them, and roared from the top of its lungs. Karmyn hit it in the wing, but his next attack got countered by a powerful blast of ice.

“That's a Frost Dragon! Get your Fire spells, that'll finish it off!”

Karmyn summoned a Fire Atronach and readied a Firebolt spell. On the other side of the roaring beast, Derkeethus swished his sword, thrusting his blade into the lizard's neck. But the dragon got quicker, and bit him at the shoulder. Karmyn rushed forward, slamming his mace on the beast's nuzzle, who drew back in pain. 

“Aim for the back!”

Derkeethus summoned another Atronach, his previous one out of health, and fired a bunch of arrows right into the dragon's face. The injured reptile shouted more ice, which stabbed the Argonian like thousands of cold razors, before flapping its huge wings and taking off. 

“Don't let it escape!”

Karmyn shouted Dragonrend again, but missed the dragon by a few yards. The beast flew away, but dived again in an attempt to devour the two friends. Derkeethus pulled Karmyn out of the dragon's reach as it snapped its jaws and got up again, still with that horrendous rumble scream. Switching between several Thu'umme, Karmyn focused his mind on a Fire Shout. 

“Hold it in place!”

Derkeethus shot another string of arrows, reaching the dragon's stomach, which forced it to fly lower, and Karmyn voiced out his fire attack. The dragon shouted another rain of ice, which froze the Argonians to the ground, but they got better after quickly drinking some Resist Frost.  
Karmyn summoned yet another Atronach, and drew his Ebony sword. Now or never, he thought. Rushing right at the lowered beast, he sliced its throat straight open, as Derkeethus poisoned his bow and shot.  
The dragon was weakened enough. Shouting once more, Karmyn shot a Chain Lightning spell, enough to stun the reptile. He then gave his friend a leg up, and Derkeethus jumped up, to stab his sword right into the dragon's open mouth.  
The beast collapsed with a loud thud that made the ground shake. With a sigh of relief, Derkeethus climbed down its smoking carcass, as Karmyn went to absorb its soul.

“That was great, friend.”, Derkeethus said. “You're really getting good at this.”

“Yeah.”, Karmyn replied, still shaken from the weight of the soul he had gotten. “You too, partner.”

“We're quite the team, right?”

“Oblivion yeah.”

They kept walking by foot as they climbed the rocky path, the sight of the river only tainted by an empty dragon carcass; but after some wrong turns and dead-ends, they managed to reach the Shrine of Talos.  
A simple statue, hidden in a rock cavity, next to the familiar shrine. There were some offerings around it, such as flowers of gold coins. Karmyn fetched the war horn from his inventory, and put it at the base of the statue.

“There. All set.”

“So, are we returning yet?”

Karmyn seemed to hesitate.

“Erm...not yet. Sit down for a moment, would you?”

Derkeethus sat down on a stone bench. Karmyn walked towards the small shrine, and put his hands over it. A small blue glow surrounded him for a moment, before fading nicely. Looking at him, Derkeethus didn't really understand. 

“Are you really the kind to get blessings from gods you don't believe in?”

Karmyn didn't answer, and instead sat next to Derkeethus. Reaching under his chestplate, he pulled out a small pendant of a shape similar to the shrine, showing it to his friend. Derkeethus glared at it, then at Karmyn.

“Guess you have lived with the Nords long enough.”, he commented. “Still, an amulet of Talos? You're surprising.”

“There's a reason, you know.”

He didn't add anything yet, and looked at the statue of the man in armor, standing on the body of a defeated lindworm. There was something in that glance that Derkeethus didn't quite understand, but that he could tell to be close to respect.

“I've heard the legend of Tiber Septim when I came into Skyrim. I've heard about the most known Dragonborn of the Second Era. A mortal ascending to divinehood, a human born with the soul of a dragon.”

His voice was expressing something close to wonder. He ran a finger over his pendant.

“I'm not really keen on the debate over whether he deserves to be a Divine or not. But I do find strength in him. He had walked the way of the Dragonborn centuries before me. He had known...what it felt like.”

He sighed, and looked at his own hands. 

“He was a dragon-human, just like I am a dragon-beast. And for that, even if I'm no fervent guy, I turn to him when I need help. I have done countless missions for Aedra and Daedra alike, served as their champion, obtained their weapons, and yet...and yet Talos is the only one I have ever turned to. I'm not one to pray for protection and luck, but I can't say I never did.”

Derkeethus glared at the statue. It was kind of intimidating, and he didn't understand what comfort Karmyn could find in someone who killed reptiles. He never understood why humans and Mer chose to believe in such a pantheon. Argonians' only divine figure was Sithis, the counterpart to the Hist. Derkeethus, like many Argonians back in Black Marsh, believed in the balance of these two forces, in an equilibrium of good and evil that determined the fate of the world and of every individual. Each soul was coming into the world with both good and evil sides, and with each life cycle it had to find good and virtue to fulfill itself, to finally be cleansed of all evil and reunite with the Hist. This simple albeit complex philosophy rested on the fact that no one can be truly good or evil, but everyone can try their best to improve themselves.  
That's why Derkeethus was always doing his best. He wasn't much generous or selfless, because his life wasn't easy either; but he knew how to show kindness, and had the will to help people who had it worse. He was always doing what he felt could help those who didn't have the same chance as himself. And if everyone tried to do so, then Skyrim would be such a better place.  
This was a utopia; but he knew he wasn't the only one to dream of it.

~~~~~ 

Karmyn opened the door to his new house, and stepped into the loading screen.  
He wasn't buying property all throughout Skyrim for the sake of living in a comfortable house. But if troubles were to rise and he was in need of a hideout, he would have that ground covered. Plus, it wasn't as if he had time to live a peaceful family life, in his quiet little house.

“Kinda big.”, Karmyn commented. 

While Hjerim was built with sturdy wood, Proudspire Manor was all stone. This house in the middle of Solitude was made to accommodate nobles and rich people, seeing the decorations and pretty dinnerware on the tables.

“Alright. I'll go check the laboratory first.”, he said to Derkeethus. “Why don't you go check on the bedrooms?”

Derkeethus didn't reply, as Karmyn descended into the Alchemy lab. There was an arcane table, and lots of ingredients on the shelves. He raided them all, to get himself a nice stock of future potions. There was a lot of room for his weapons and armors, but it wasn't as much as he needed. 

“Where am I gonna put all of my stuff? There's barely any plaques.”

He walked upstairs, had a look at the shelves. There was room for books, but he didn't want to risk Derkeethus finding about more of his...literary fantasies during the moving-out.  
The only thought of moving all of his stuff again, from Windhelm to Solitude, made him cringe a bit.

“No way I'm doing that.”

He got to the first floor, looked at the nice inner balcony, with all the flowers giving this place a nice fragrance. He picked the snowberries in the pots, the cheese and vegetables in the plates. Finally, he had a look at the patio, said to be the “most beautiful view in Skyrim”. It was indeed very pretty, but what was the point if he was abroad all the time? Although he could take some time to rest between missions, have a cup of warm milk with Derkeethus and chatter a little.  
Speaking of him, he hadn't said much recently. Maybe he was still upstairs. Karmyn walked back into the house, calling for his friend.

“Alright, friend. You were right, this house kinda sucks. We going home?”

He entered the master bedroom, raided the chests (was that a Stone of Barenziah?), but Derkeethus wasn't there. That guy was fast. Karmyn peeked in the kitchen, the living room, and didn't see him. He descended into the laboratory, but Derkeethus was nowhere to be found.  
A shiver ran down his spine.  
Karmyn exited the house, into the streets of Solitude. It was already evening, and people were going home for the night. Shops were closing, the nearby Bards' College was falling silent. And still, there was no sign of Derkeethus's presence. No reflect of malachite on a Glass armor, no smirk of a low voice, no comment on how they should get back to Windhelm before Imperials come and kick their tails. Nothing.  
Karmyn's breathing got irregular. Something in his chest was hurting. His brain was filled with worry, and he couldn't control himself anymore. He started to run, retrace his steps from Blue Palace, rushing in. No sign of his Argonian friend. He ran out, to Solitude's doors, rushed outside to the stables, but there was no one. Shadowmere and Frost have returned, as they have followed him during fast travel, but Derkeethus was nowhere to be found.  
Karmyn started to cry. Where had he gone? What if he was lost? What if something had happened to him? So many possibilities rushed to his mind, dreadful thoughts that plagued his conscious with loss and worry. He tried to think about where his friend could be, where he could have gone to. Maybe he had left on his own? Impossible, he would have told Karmyn beforehand...so something had happened to him! What if he had been attacked during their travel? What if something...what if…  
Karmyn tried to make his mind at peace. Derkeethus couldn't be far. He had to be somewhere. He had to be still alive...he had to! Karmyn tried to mentally recreate the path he had taken that day. Where has he last seen him? Where had they last been together?  
Talos's Shrine. He _had_ to be there.  
Karmyn fast traveled to Shimmermist Cave, for the shrine was hidden on his map. He tried to locate the mountain they have headed to, the river they have followed. Where was he? The quest marker couldn't help him anymore, for the war horn has been delivered.  
The dragon skeleton was still there. Karmyn tried to find some familiar points which could help him, something that could tell him whether his path was the right one. Many times he took the wrong trail and ended in a dead-end, or fell and had to start again. He called out, still crying, but this time his calls were more desperate than ever.  
It was already dawn when he finally found him again.

“Karmyn!”, the green Argonian called, before getting crushed in a tight and powerful embrace.

“Don't ever do this again!”, Karmyn sobbed grossly, holding onto his friend as if he was afraid to be taken away once again. 

That's when he felt a hard pain on his cheek. Derkeethus had just slapped him.

“Why did you leave me there?”, he yelled out, tears drenching his eyes. “Why didn't you come back for me? Why did you _forget_ me?”

Karmyn had told him to sit, the first time they were at the shrine. But he never told him to resume following him. This beginner's error has cost so much.

“I'm sorry.”, Karmyn whimpered. “I'm sorry...but I'll never leave you again. I'll be there, I promise.”

“Well you better be!”

Derkeethus wiped his tears away, Karmyn still patting his back and huging him close. 

“It's alright...I'm fine.”

“You could have been attacked, and it was all my fault… I'm sorry, I have been such a jerk!”

“No, don't blame yourself...”

Their embrace got less clingy and asphyxiating, and more along the lines of comforting.

“I'm a horrible friend.”, Karmyn commented. “I'm worth nothing more than a dry-skin.”

“It wasn't your fault. We all make mistakes. I can defend myself, so I wouldn't risk anything.”

“But still...you're my friend. And I care about you.”

Derkeethus slightly pushed his face away, to look at him in the eyes.

“Why would you torment yourself because of me? I'm not worth-”

Karmyn put a finger on Derkeethus's lips, to silence him.

“Don't ever say that. You're worth absolutely everything in Mundus, including my worries.”

Karmyn rested his head in the crook of Derkeethus's neck, reassured to hear his friend's calm breathing. His heart was still racing, but at least he was okay.  
None of them seemed to desire breaking their embrace. They stayed in their stance for an endless yet too short moment, simply listening to each other's calming breathing, their hands on the other's back or waist, not saying anything. Maybe they were so close, that separation was doing them this much pain? Karmyn couldn't tell, but didn't wanted to. His friend being safe and sound was all he cared about. Alduin, the war, the dragons could all go fuck themselves. For the moment, he was relieved, and that was all that mattered.

“Come on.”, he finally said after a while. “Let's go home.”

“So you did buy this house in Solitude, didn't you?”

Karmyn thought about it for a moment. Then, he smiled.

“Yeah. But I'm talking about _our_ home.”

He had insisted on this word, and Derkeethus noticed it. Karmyn took his friend's hands in his', and sightly ran his fingers over his wrists. 

“Our home.”, Derkeethus repeated.

All around them, dawn was rising, drowning the landscape in hues of gold and red. The warmth of the sun was spreading all over the hills, embracing all life in its radius, like a watchful parent protecting its children. When the two friends got caressed by this quiet aura, they looked at each other, and smiled again.  
As they were going, Derkeethus had a last glance at the statue of Talos. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't help a quiet mutter.

“Thank you.”

It didn't answer, of course, but somehow, Derkeethus felt a little more comforted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's not lie: this has happened to all of us.


	12. Bthardamz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch as I try and fail to write drunk characters.

“Remind me why I've agreed to carry so much dwarven mech already?”, Derkeethus asked, annoyed.

“Because once we get in town, we'll melt all of it down into Dwemer metal and sell it real good. We're a little short on money right now, so it was needed.”

“Do you always do crazy things when you're short on cash?”

“Why wouldn't I?”

Derkeethus didn't have any backpack on, but he was feeling crushed by the weight of the metal scraps he was carrying. His head was still hurting, being hit by a Dwemer sphere during their descent into Bthardamz. He'd also need to check if he had caught the same disease as the Afflicted dwelling in these ruins; but he has rarely gotten sick in his life.  
Derkeethus wondered just how far Karmyn was willing to go to get a few septims, even though that guy was fighting dragons almost every day; a mission like this wasn't that far-fetched at all. They have also gotten a nice set of dwarvenware for their kitchen, many pieces of mechanic, as well as shiny Dwemer Cores, which Karmyn was collecting for future Daedric armor crafting (and for their pretty red shine). They have also gotten some soul gems and weapons to sell, as well as enchanted apparel.  
All of that was really heavy, even when shared between the both of them.

“Why don't you do your trick and bring us to Markarth already?”, Derkeethus complained. “It's almost nightfall.”

“Can't. I'm carrying too much.”

“Then leave your stuff somewhere! You'll pick it back later.”

“I'd rather die than doing another trip! You know how I am.”

And indeed, Derkeethus knew him well.  
Some snow had started to fall over the mountains, where from they could hear the roars of frost trolls. Wind was bringing over a scent of pine needles and wild flowers, which merged with the smell of burnt scales and metal the two Hist-brothers have brought from the Dwemer ruins. The pair couldn't wait to return home, wash their troubles away and meet with a warm bed. After crossing through another labyrinthine dungeon, filled with foul odors and nasty automatons, their only wish was to take some rest. But as Windhelm was on the other side of Skyrim, they were currently headed to Markarth and Vlindrel Hall, which Karmyn had bought some days earlier.

“We could have brought the horses, at least.”

“Come on. Walking a little will make you good.”, Karmyn grinned.

“A little? I don't know if you know, but I'm currently carrying more than I can, and I'd really like to make it to town before night, if you see what I mean. What if a dragon comes?”

“We'll kill it.”

“With what stamina? You can't even run.”

Karmyn rolled his eyes, and looked at his right with intensity. Seconds later, he produced a thick vial.

“Draught of strength. That'll make it easier.”

“Let me guess: for a limited time?”

“You're a better alchemist than me, all of a sudden.”

Derkeethus rolled his eyes, but accepted the potion. It tasted like mushrooms. After drinking it, he felt his back pain ease somewhat, and his legs lose some of the crippling weight.

“Hey, it works.”

“Now come on, before the effects run out.”

Karmyn gulped down the vial, then sprinted forward, Derkeethus following as fast as he could, as always.

“Are you sure this is the way to Markarth?”, he asked.

“Yeah, no worries! Just have to go west. Can't get lost that way.”

Going westwards brought them onto the mountainside, climbing inclined slopes and tripping onto sliding snow. However, Karmyn was looking more and more worried.

“Erm...let's go a little further. I'd need a high point of view.”

Derkeethus trusted his friend; however, he was pretty sure Markarth wasn't this way. He kept his doubts for himself as he followed Karmyn, the weight on his shoulders already gaining in intensity.  
They couldn't get lost.  
They encountered a couple Frost Trolls, but those got taken care of very quickly. Far were the times when those were an actual threat to them. Karmyn looted them of their fat, then kept going on. The wind was starting to get pretty cold around them, but they took no notice of it, and kept progressing.  
Karmyn saw a vantage point, and went to it. He needed to see whether they were closer from town or not. But as he walked towards a rock, he felt himself stop in the middle of the path.  
He couldn't go there.  
Derkeethus soon caught up, standing behind him as usual. Karmyn tried to step forward once again, but failed. Even though his body was just fine and there were no obstacles...he couldn't move. He couldn't walk any further.  
They've already reached the limit of Skyrim.

“What's wrong, friend?”, Derkeethus asked.

Karmyn reached out to the air in front of him, but his hand met some kind of invisible wall. The end of what he could walk onto, the land where textures were empty of any hitbox. A land of illusions, which he had no access to. Such was another one of his limits as Dragonborn.  
He sighed, still smiling slightly, proud of having reached such a point.

“Guess we'll go back.”

“What?”

But Karmyn was already heading back down.

“Hey, watch it!”, Derkeethus called, slightly annoyed by this sudden change.

Karmyn jumped down a slope, crashing on his knees but still standing. Derkeethus let himself slide on the snow, trying to catch up with him.

“Let's head southwards. We'll get around the mountain.”

“Are you _sure_ this is the way?”

Karmyn didn't answer.  
The weight they carried soon slowed them down again. They followed a stable path for a moment, before encountering wild wolves. After the short fight, however, they ended up kind of disoriented. They didn't recognize where they were coming to or from anymore.

“Where's the direction to town already?”

“I don't know...we have to head west, right?”

“But where's west, 's what I'm asking.”

“Dunno...follow the sun!”

“I don't know if you know, but it's night already! How are we supposed to know where's the sun?”

“Calm down! We'll find our way.”

“Just admit that we're lost!”

Karmyn grunted, looking at his feet again, then around them.

“Let's follow the path. If we get to Ragnvald, we'll just need to continue southwards until we reach Markarth.”

“And where is it exactly?”

“Not far from here...I mean, if we backtrack a little.”

“Oh come on!”

Karmyn summoned a candlelight to enlighten their steps, as the path had gotten rockier. Even if they were out of the mountain zone, it was still very cold, not to mention darkness; he'd give anything for a warm fire or a comfy bed. If only he wasn't carrying so much!

“Hey.”, Derkeethus said. “Do you see that?”

He pointed towards a small, bright spot in-between trees, a hundred yards away.

“What could that be?”, he asked.

“Could be dangerous. Let's get there.”

As they came closer, a small band of Forsworns came to them. The Argonians drew their weapons, and managed to defeat them at the cost of some health. But then, after looting their corpses, they found their way to the now-empty camp they had spotted.  
It consisted in a fire and a couple large tents, with hay piles to sleep on. Naturally, Karmyn and Derkeethus went to sit in front of the fire, warming their hands and resting a little.

“Do you really think it's safe to try and get to town right now?”, Derkeethus asked.

Karmyn seemed thoughtful. Then, he looked around him, around the small camp.

“Well, I don't know if it'd be wise. But we can spend the night here.”

Derkeethus glared at him.

“Here? You mean, outside?”

“Yep. I mean, I used to do that a lot. Plus, this place seems safe.”

Karmyn stood up, went to inspect the tents, which were quite far apart from each other. Nothing but hay and a chest, which he looted. Then, as if struck with an idea, he emptied his heavy Dwemer metal parts into it.

“We'll put our stuff there for the night.”, he said, as he and Derkeethus traded items. “Morning we head to town, get the horses and pick it back up.”

“I thought you'd rather die than doing the extra trip?”

“I'm lazy, but that doesn't mean I'd do stupid things.”

He locked the chest shut, and sat next to the campfire. Derkeethus looked at him weird.

“Well, now that we're free from the extra weight, why don't we fast travel to Markarth, or even Windhelm? That'd spare us trouble.”

Karmyn didn't reply, simply warming his feet. Derkeethus sighed.

“I guess you want to try spending the night out.”

“Sometimes, sleeping in a bed is just too mainstream. I've got to return to my roots, you see? Be in touch with nature, tiny birds and everything...”

“I'll have you know, I've always slept in a bedroll and there's nothing 'natural' about it. Bugs get in your scales, and it's really cold in winter.”

Wind started to blow, menacing the fire. Karmyn applied a quick spell of Flames, to keep it burning. Still, Derkeethus shivered slightly; seeing it, Karmyn grabbed a large bear pelt from his inventory, and draped it over his friend's shoulders like a blanket.

“Here.”

In all honesty, Derkeethus hadn't expected that. He muttered a 'thank you', still looking somewhere in the distance. Karmyn looked at his right again, as he'd do before spawning an item out of nowhere. This time, he pulled out a Dwemer bowl, which he filled with some vegetables and a chicken breast, and placed over the fire.

“What are you doing exactly?”, Derkeethus inquired.

“Well, I don't know about you, but I haven't eaten in a while. Might as well have some grub.”

He spread some wine over the cooking broth, which soon started to smell nice.  
Derkeethus tightened the bear pelt around him, feeling a little sleepy. Maybe it was the cold, or the very slight snow brought by the wind. He tried to quell a yawn as he rested his head on Karmyn's shoulder. The latter smiled gently, patting his friend's head.

“Can't wait to sleep, I see.”

“Just a little tired.”

“D'you want to call it a day?”

“Nah, I'm fine.”

He watched the fire crackle, spreading slight sparks around, blackening the logs at the edges and turning it into coal-like cinders. This scent of burnt wood was familiar, and brought him quite a lot of memories of his days at Darkwater Crossing. Long evenings he'd spend with his friends, chattering about this and that before another day of work in the mines. Or more recently, the warmth of a stone hearth, which he'd watch over as dinner was cooking, with Karmyn sneaking into the kitchen and trying to snatch bits of food before it was ready. He'd gently slap his hand with a smile, telling him to wait, but then would playfully act as if he didn't saw anything and let him get away with it.  
To be honest, he liked many of Karmyn's quirks and behaviors. He even sometimes surprised himself in having similar ones. Over time, he has taken the habit of letting his tail slowly wag when idle, or coupling his words to some hand gestures. He was more expressive overall, more open, in a barely-visible way he couldn't describe.  
Derkeethus wondered whether Karmyn had picked up some of his own traits in return.

“Hey pal.”, the blue Argonian called. “Hungry?”

Derkeethus fluttered his eyes open, still lost in his thoughts.

“Hmm? Oh...right. Well, I wouldn't say no.”

Karmyn handed him a filled plate, as well as some silverware he probably had stolen from a Jarl's palace. This guy always had all kinds of things in his pockets, especially those you don't expect anyone to carry around. Derkeethus remembered last time they had gotten on a mission for the Stormcloaks, and how Karmyn had been quick to raid the Palace of the Kings from its fine ceramics. What fun times.  
As they ate, talking about various things, Derkeethus couldn't help but wonder whether his friend was handling the cold or not. He was shivering a bit; but when asked about it, Karmyn replied he was just fine. Still, Derkeethus was feeling a little uneasy, fearing to be impolite.  
To ease this feeling, he sat closer to him, and wrapped the bear pelt around both of them. Karmyn looked at him, concerned.

“You know, you don't have to… I mean, I'm fine.”

“Allow me to doubt it.”

Karmyn rolled his eyes, before those suddenly lit up.

“If it's warmth you're concerned about, I might have what we need.”

He set his empty plate aside, and took a couple tankards from his inventory.

“I got that from nowhere else but the Bannered Mare's reserve. I was keeping it for an occasion, but everyday's an occasion if you make it one.”

The bottle he then fetched looked like any other mead bottle; however, the label was bearing a picture of Black Marsh, along with a branch from a familiar tree.  
Derkeethus opened wide eyes of joyful disbelief.

“No way.”

Karmyn grinned.

“Totally.”

“Don't tell me this is...real Argonian Ale? Like, the real stuff?”

“With Sload soap and pure Hist sap extract? You bet it is.”

He opened the bottle, and poured some of the red liquid into their mugs.

“Oh man...and you were carrying that all this time?”

“You don't want to know what else I got.”

“I wouldn't be surprised to find a live dragon in your pocket.”

They laughed, and toasted. The fruit-smelling draught felt like a warm fire in their stomachs, and tasted like home. There was a reason why Argonians liked it so much: only they could find it that good.  
As he drank, however, Derkeethus asked himself whether he could handle alcohol well or not.

~~~~~

The answer was clear: he could not.  
While mead or wine was fine by him, those were nothing compared to such a strong liquor. Sload soap mixed with Hist sap was pure poison, and yet it was so delicious. Damn it. His head was hurting as he tried to ignore Karmyn's slurred words, who was blabbering about 'seeds' and various things.

“Never want'd to.”, he stuttered. “Not m'fault...”

“Dude...”, Derkeethus moaned. “Shut up 'lready...”

He tried to slap him, but missed, his vision already blurred. He tried again, and hit his friend's arm, who pushed him away in retaliation.

“Hey!”, Karmyn shouted. “'nt do that!”

Derkeethus tried to sit upright, but his arm slipped, and he fell again. He started to cry, even though he wasn't hurt. His mind was clouded, and his body felt heavy. He was feeling the cold wind more than before, and now wanted to go home. He sobbed grossly, having no control over his emotions anymore.  
He felt a shuffle next to him. Karmyn had his hand on Derkeethus's back, patting him awkwardly.

“T's okay. I'm here.”

He tried to help him stand up, only to find out he had no better coordination himself. They both fell, again, several times, before deciding to give up.

“C'mon. Let's get you to bed.”

Derkeethus relied on Karmyn's arm as they awkwardly found their way to the nearby tent, and let himself collapse on the pile of hay. However he kept holding onto Karmyn, bringing his friend in a mutual fall.  
They stayed like this for a long moment, laying next to each other, not saying anything. Derkeethus's head was hurting like Oblivion, and Karmyn's smelly breath in his face didn't help. He knew he'd better try to sleep and rest a little, but he doubted it would fix anything. All he wanted was for the ache to go away.  
Slowly, Karmyn's arm wrapped around Derkeethus's stomach, who didn't shove him away. But soon, his hands got somewhat more runny, stroking his armor with some kind of weird need. Derkeethus pained to keep his eyes open, tired as he was, but saw Karmyn at his side, nuzzling his neck with insistence. He weakly tried to push him away, as he was feeling somewhat uncomfortable; but he liked the touch. Driven by drunkenness, he tried to bring his friend even closer. Karmyn ended up lying on top of him, nuzzling his curved horns while muttering confused words.  
A weird feeling arose in Derkeethus. Something that made him want more of this kind of touch. Slowly, he started nuzzling his friend's face too, his hands trying to find a way under his Dragonscale armor. Soon their snouts came to touch, their breaths to meet. They looked at each other with confused and hazy eyes, before the emotional momentum of their contact struck, and their lips came to meet.  
Karmyn's breath smelled of chicken and ale.  
They stayed like this for a second, before parting their mouths. Derkeethus felt his face getting hot all of a sudden, but before he could say anything, Karmyn was already back at it, this time with a little more confidence. Derkeethus tilted his head sideways, this weird feeling tingling again, as a moan escaped him. It took him a couple tries, but Karmyn managed to make their tongues meet. Their awkward kiss turned into a sloppy fight for dominance as they rolled over, Karmyn ending below. His hands quickly went to unfasten Derkeethus's chestplate, leaving him with a better access to the green Argonian's upper body. Derkeethus moaned as their lips parted again, and as Karmyn's hands went to meet his sensitive scales. Derkeethus shivered from the touch, his mind all foggy and weird-feeling. A gust of cold wind met his scales, which brought him back to reality.  
Before he knew it, he had shoved Karmyn away.

“What the fuck, brother?”, Karmyn asked, frustrated.

Derkeethus tried to find his words, but he couldn't think clearly anymore. All he managed to do was holding Karmyn's hands away as he tried to bring them closer.

“Please...”, he muttered. “Don't.”

The feeling in his body was still present; however, his mind had regained some clarity, the same way the sun could shine between two passing clouds. Even though he would have loved to continue, something in the corner of his mind kept telling him this wasn't right. Something was feeling odd about this, feeling wrong and out of place. He wished he could tell Karmyn, but his words got lost before he could even think of them.

“Don't.”

Karmyn didn't move nor say anything. After a long moment, however, he stood up, shaking a little, and went to fetch the bear pelt where they've left it. He wrapped it around Derkeethus's bare shoulders, and made him lie down on the improvised bed.  
He then sat next to him, as if he was taking watch, still without saying anything. But Derkeethus could feel something coming from him. Something he recognized as shame, or unease. Even though he didn't want to act on impulse and bestial instinct, he wouldn't let his friend alone.  
He took him by the hand, and slowly led him onto the hay bed, covering him with the pelt. Karmyn still didn't say anything; Derkeethus assumed he was either too tired or at least somewhat conscious of what he was doing.  
He let his arm wrapped around Karmyn's shoulder, his headache somewhat relieved. They soon fell asleep, sharing a mutual warmth.

~~~~~

Karmyn let down his stuff into one of the chests of Hjerim, glad to be finally rid of all the extra weight. He had to sacrifice some of the Dwemer pieces to make it in one trip, but he did, and now that was done.  
Behind him, Derkeethus had stayed silent the whole time, avoiding even a glance in his direction. He had the face of someone who had things to say, but didn't dare to speak them out loud, and that made Karmyn annoyed more than anything.  
After he had finished storing his loot, he sighed, glad to be done with that. But the silence between them was still dense, so dense he could feel it on his skin, pressing down and almost crushing him. Karmyn knew he had to say something, or else they'd stay this way maybe forever. He turned to Derkeethus, who had followed him and yet avoided him all day.

“Look. If you're upset about what happened last night, then tell me, alright?”

Derkeethus only looked further away from him, uneasier as before. Karmyn sighed of frustration, wishing he could find what to say in such a case. But he had no idea of what to do. Should he say sorry? Should he do as if nothing had happened? He was lost, and feared it might be the end of their partnership.

“I'm not upset.”, Derkeethus suddenly said, in a low tone.

“Then what? Are you ashamed, or anything?”

“That's not it either!”

He had snarled that last line, almost hissed it at Karmyn's face. He looked as if he was struggling to find his worlds as well, before sighing, and naturally switching from Cyrodillic to Jel.

_“I can't help but feel wrong. Like I've played you.”_

Karmyn tried to find something to reply, but Derkeethus was faster.

“ _I don't know if you're ready to...go that far. Especially with me. I don't even know whether you're into males or not!_ ”

Karmyn couldn't help but find that last concern ridiculous; but that wasn't something he was really open about either.  
He turned his eyes away, not sure what to think of this. What solution could they find? He thought about it.

“One thing is sure.”, he said. “Whatever we've done won't change anything about how great of a partner you are.”

He tried to look him in the eyes.

“Best is we let that behind us and never speak of it again. Alright?”

Derkeethus glared at him, arms crossed, before sighing and giving in.

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

Karmyn smiled.

“Now, how about we go and sell that metal? That's why we were there in the first place.”

“You lead, I follow.”

Karmyn went out of the room, grabbing his stuff. As he passed at Derkeethus's level, however, he felt it necessary to say something.

“For the record, I'm into both."

Then, after half a second, he added in a low voice:

"And I think you're a good kisser.”

He left the room with a grin, and Derkeethus with a blush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Could be dangerous. Let's get there."  
> -Karmyn Scaleshield, 2016
> 
> hey look, its 5am  
> remember kids, don't drink and almost hook up with your best friend


	13. Hjerim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of laid-back. Most of it is talking, but it is needed at this point. Adventure will come back, but for now enjoy some clumsy declarations.

The past week couldn't have been any more awkward.  
Derkeethus knew that what happened at the Forsworn encampment had only been an accident. This impromptu make-out session wasn't his fault or Karmyn's, and nothing but inebriation had been to blame. Last time Karmyn got drunk, he had ended up following a Daedra Prince into a crazy goat-snatching quest through all of Skyrim, so it could have been worse.  
But now this was different. This was deeper than that. People just didn't kiss each other out of the blue, even after taking nasty drugs. People didn't do the things they've done that day. It was just wrong, and the fact they were both men made it even more bizarre.  
So why did Karmyn just shrug it off?  
Why did he act like it wasn't a big deal?  
For a whole week, their interactions have been very awkward, even though they hadn't changed at all. Derkeethus had never noticed how physically close they were, how much they were touching in the course of a day. Before all of that, Karmyn and Derkeethus would often have physical contact as a way to communicate. They have been holding hands, resting on each other's shoulder, and even bathing together from time to time. Derkeethus had never minded it, and had even enjoyed it. Those quirks were theirs, and they were representing the bond they shared. There was nothing wrong with that. Those were things done between fight partners, or friends, or even family. There couldn't have been any understatements to those.  
But again, that kiss has been a step too many beyond the limits of acceptable things.  
Karmyn had said he wasn't interested in dating. But again, that didn't mean he hadn't got any feelings…but why in all of Tamriel did Derkeethus have to be their target? There were hundreds of people out there who'd make suitable companions for the Dragonborn, the Hero of Skyrim...so why kissing _him_ out of all people? Why did Karmyn even think about trying anything with the only one who wasn't in love with him?  
But did Karmyn even mean anything with this kiss? And did Derkeethus even have any feelings for the Dovahkiin? He couldn't know anymore. He was lost, so lost. This week had been nothing but unanswered questions and plaguing doubts in his troubled mind.  
Since the beginning, Karmyn had been a great friend. He had saved Derkeethus's life countless times, given him a home, a purpose. He had accepted him. They have traveled together and known all kinds of people and adventures. They have shared a bond he was proud of, a bond no else one did have.  
Over time, Derkeethus had grown fond of the Dragonborn. But whatever his exact feeling was, it couldn't be love. He had tried to dismiss it as deep friendship, but with a possessive side. Karmyn was his friend, but he was _his'_ before anything. This was something he couldn't explain, and had never bothered to find a cause for.  
But was it love? Or was it just obsessive friendship?  
Such were the questions he had asked himself all week, face buried into his pillow. Whenever he was thinking about what had happened, he couldn't feel anything but shame. He had felt used, maybe even soiled...but at the same time, flattered. How and why, he couldn't make up. And there was absolutely no way he could talk to Karmyn now. Not after all this awkwardness and rejection and everything.  
He didn't know what to do. And he was scared, genuinely scared. Scared of Karmyn's reaction, but of everything else as well. There was no way this could ever end right. He'd never forgive himself for letting this happen, never.

“Derkeethus?”

That call made him rise from his pillow. Karmyn was there, standing at the room's door, worry in his blue eyes. Derkeethus didn't hold his gaze, and looked away, but the blue Argonian stepped forward anyway.

“We can't keep this way. We need to talk, right now.”

His voice was firm, but concealed something else Derkeethus didn't recognize. 

“Leave me alone.”, the follower said. 

“So you can keep sulking alone and let yourself turn into a puddle of tears? No way in Oblivion I'm letting you do that.”

When he got closer, Derkeethus tried to shove him away, but he didn't have the strength to do so. He was ready to go into another half-sleep half-lament phase. Karmyn evaded his weak tail whip, and sat on Derkeethus's bed, next to him.

“Look. There's something bothering you and I need to know why. So tell me, so I can help you.”

“And why that? 'cause you're the Dragonborn, meddling in everyone's business?”

Karmyn sighed.

“Because I'm your friend.”

A heavy silence followed those words, during which Derkeethus kept his face buried into his bed. Karmyn didn't add anything, and instead tried to think of a way to make things go back to normal.

“Believe it or not.”

Derkeethus sighed, and another moment passed. There was a new tension between them, something that decupled awkwardness into a new form. Karmyn was feeling a strange mix of unease, frustration and powerlessness that made him more irritated than anything. But he had to try something, or else they would never look at each other in the face again.

“Do you want me to be honest?”, he asked.

Derkeethus didn't answer. Karmyn sighed, and tried to speak something.

“Look...we've been through so much together, and we've become really close. But I know there are some ends you'd never want to reach...and I'm fine with that, of course.”

He tried to adopt a friendly posture, but didn't know how to do that. He'd really need to take some courses on body language, what a shame.

“You're my friend. That's all. Why would this ever change?”

To that, Derkeethus replied by sitting up, and looking at him straight in the eye, visibly angry.

“Then why...why did you…?!”

Karmyn blinked.

“Kiss you?”

“ _Don't say that!_ ”, Derkeethus hissed.

Karmyn rolled his eyes.

“It happened. Why are you denying it?”

“I'm not! And that's the problem!”

He looked as if he was ready to kill Karmyn, but was holding himself back at a large mental cost. Karmyn sighed again, and sat closer to him.

“I have kissed you, because...on the moment...it had felt like a good idea. It had felt so much like a good idea, something I was sure I wouldn't regret. I didn't think about consequences or drawbacks or anything. It was the sheer momentum we've shared that led to me kissing you.”

He ran a hand through his head thorns, not sure of what to add. But after a moment, he spoke again, before Derkeethus could even say anything.

“I've liked it. I liked this feeling, this sensation...it was good, period. And if you would have been okay with it, I'd have gone even further.”

It was too late to go back, now. He gathered up his courage, and kept telling him.

“I was drunk, true. But I was conscious of what I was doing. And for a moment, I've thought...I've thought about using this against you.”

Derkeethus rose up slightly, propping himself on his elbow.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I knew what I was doing. I could have fucked you on the spot and blamed it on the ale.”

He turned his face away, wanting to hide into the depths of Mundus. But he had to tell everything, or else this would never get away.

“But the truth is...I was torn. I was torn between following my instinct and my mind. I wanted to mate with you, I won't deny it...but I knew this was wrong. This wasn't what I'd have wanted at all. But I knew you'd never respond to any of my advances if I ever did any, so I did it the coward way.”

His eyes were stinging, his throat hurting. He had more and more troubles speaking as he was going on, but he was determined to tell all of the truth. He couldn't afford losing his only real friend.

“I'm glad...no, thankful you've stopped me. I don't know what I would have done if you've let me continue. But I know it would have left both of us scarred for good.”

He stood up, having told enough. This didn't go the way he had expected, but this had gone a way, and that was enough. If he could at least take all the blame on himself, Derkeethus wouldn't have to feel so bad. That was a suitable plan.

“I know I'm a jerk. What I've done was unforgivable, and you've got all the right to hate me. That's all.”

He went to leave the room, his head heavy from all the darkened thoughts in there, but he felt someone holding him back.

“Wait.”, Derkeethus said, slightly pulling on Karmyn's hand.

The blue Argonian sat back down, and tried to look at his friend in the eye.

“First thing first, you _are_ a huge jerk, and I'll make you pay for this. But I don't understand...why would you want to mate with me? Why would you want to court me? That doesn't make any sense!”

Karmyn tried to smile.

“That's...well, do I need to explain?”

“That's wrong.”

He honestly hadn't expected that. As he looked at Derkeethus, he saw his almost saddened expression of his', but did not understand why.

“You know that a male can't court other males. That goes against the laws of nature!”

Karmyn put on a 'seriously?' face as he tried to understand.

“Who told you that?”, he asked. 

“Who told you it was an acceptable idea?”

“No one's told me anything!”

What was that, now? Could it be that Derkeethus was actually thinking like those outdated Hist priests? Was he even serious to begin with?

“Brother… I don't know why you're asking that, but it should be kind of obvious that I have a thing for males and I don't feel any less worthy of reuniting with the Hist.”

“How can you be so foolish?”

“I'm not the one being foolish here!”

He had almost snapped at him. How dared he insult the way he was?  
He tried to calm himself down, before saying anything harsh and regrettable. This was not the time.

“Look. We're not in Black Marsh anymore. This is Skyrim, where guys can court, date, marry other guys and nobody would bat an eye. I want to make you understand that.”

He tried to explain something that was so obvious, yet so hard to tell. How could people deal with that?

“I know it doesn't feel natural to you, but it does to me. If I happen to fall in love with a man, I could live it to the fullest. I would not have to hide like I'd do in Black Marsh, fearing I might get punished.”

His words from then on got somewhat lost, mumbled. 

“And there's a man I happen to love.”

There. He said it.  
Derkeethus had listened with disbelief at first, but now his expression had completely changed. In what it did turn, Karmyn couldn't tell. It was something he didn't recognize, way above all of Derkeethus's other unrecognizable expressions.  
Karmyn breathed in, and continued.

“We've been through so much. I've bonded with you like I never did with anyone. Together we've seen things, lived experiences that have become my greatest memories. I fell in love, and I didn't know it until recently. But I was scared, of how you'd react, of what were your feelings for me… I've tried to drop hints, but you didn't pick up, or acted as you didn't care...and I've started to realize you would never love me back...”

His eyes started to sting even more. Karmyn took a second before realizing he was about to cry.

“I wanted to tell you. But instead, I've done stupid things… I've forced myself onto you because I couldn't deal with the whole declaration thing, and all it did was wrecking what we've had! And now things will never be the same anymore!”

His sight got blurry, and he brushed off a couple tears that had spawned over his cheeks.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did all of that to you. I'm sorry I tricked you. I wish you'd forgive me, but I know it would be dumb to ask for that now.”

From casual blame-taking, he had gone to full-fledged guilt. He wanted to convey his feelings with as much truth as possible, knowing very well that it could be his way to lose Derkeethus's partnership forever.  
But he had to tell him. He had, or else it would probably kill him from the inside out. No matter what would happen, he'd need to tell Derkeethus how he was feeling.

“I love you. That's all I need to say. I want to keep going on adventures with you, and share the rest of my life with you, and fight dragons together and...and I want to wake up with you at my side, and make you homecooked meals, and take care of your wounds and make you feel better when you're down...and when the time comes, I'd get you those amethists and we'd become a family...”

He stopped. Had he gone too far?  
Derkeethus was now outright shocked. This had been to be expected. But Karmyn saw he was on the verge of crying too.  
Karmyn didn't feel at ease, and promptly stood up. 

“I know it's against your beliefs. But let me have this dream. Let me believe it could be possible. That's all I'll ever ask for.”

He got out of the room, visibly anguished, before he could even regret anything. But he hadn't even reached the door before Derkeethus got up, and held him back once again, by wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Karmyn.”

The name was soft on his tongue, almost whispered. For some reason, there was no anger in his voice.  
Karmyn turned around to face him. He was crying, the trails of a couple tears barring his face on each side; but the blue Argonian was in no better condition. Derkeethus rose his hand, and swept Karmyn's tears away with his thumb, cupping his cheek.

“I don't want to blame you.”

Karmyn lowered his snout in shame, mumbling a short apology, but Derkeethus made him meet his gaze again.  
Slowly, the distance between them closed in, as Derkeethus put a chaste kiss on Karmyn's lips. The Dragonborn wrapped his arms around his friend, slowly enough not to startle him, and closed his eyes, relieving the heartfelt sensation.  
He was feeling safe, loved. He was feeling already better, and the pain in his chest shriveled, leaving him fine but empty. They parted some seconds later, Derkeethus looking away.

“Just...leave me some time to take that all in.”

Karmyn nodded, before unraveling their embrace. There was still awkwardness between them, but it wasn't as tense as before. In a way, this was already a large progress.

“So...I'll be in the lab, if you need me.”

Karmyn left his friend, and walked downstairs. Once Derkeethus was sure he was away, he let himself fall back on his bedsheets, unsure about what to think. Was Karmyn really honest? Did he really think this way about him? And what should Derkeethus do?  
He sighed, and recalled the Dragonborn's words. Was he honest about getting him amethists too? Did he really want to marry him? Argonian weddings could be possible in Skyrim, taking Keerava and Talen-jei's as an example. He'd need to ask a priest of Mara about that...as well as whether two men could marry each other. It seemed so stupid, so silly...and yet, when he was thinking about it, his heart was doing a pleasant weird-feeling thing.  
Maybe he was already in love, and didn't know it yet. Worse, what if he subconsciously was trying to repress this feeling, which he had been taught was impure? He needed to look into himself and find out, but first...he'd need to rest a little from the emotional dragonride this conversation had been.  
For some reason, knowing Karmyn felt that way made him feel good. Maybe...maybe he'd give in to his own feelings, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Amethist" is not a typo. "Get you amethists" would mean "marry you" in this context. And I'm sure they made that pun on purpose; if not, I'll assume they did. (For the those unaccustomed with Argonian culture, Argonian wedding rings are made of three flawless amethysts.)
> 
> Also, I know the "we can't be in love, we're both guys" trope is overused and dumb. I just haven't yet watched Yuri on Ice back then, and how to portray a good relationship. I apologize to those who rolled their eyes at it and promise you it's not used anymore from then on.


	14. High Gate Ruins

Derkeethus woke up before the sun was even out.  
Clearly he had had troubles to sleep; but who could blame him? After what had happened yesterday, he sure had reasons not to have a good night. Karmyn had almost thrown his feelings at Derkeethus's face, had even burst in tears as he told him he loved him. And on the moment, all Derkeethus could have done was stopping altogether.  
He had not expected this. Their bond, their affection, their kinship, he had not expected it to be love. Their fights, their adventures, he had not expected them to bloom anything other than friendship and mutual respect. Even when he had been curious about Karmyn's love life, he had never intended to be a part of it.  
Derkeethus had been raised with the idea that love was made to spawn new generations. A construct, a simple decoration put around the noble concept of procreation, of continuation of the species. He had never felt it himself, but he knew this was all there was.  
In Skyrim, however, love was different. Love was pushing people to do crazy things. Love could start a war if it wanted to. Love was a motivation in itself, a goal to reach, a hope to hold on. Marriage and children would then follow; but they were byproducts of love and not the other way around. This concept was twisted, a complete opposite of what Derkeethus was used to. He feared he had spent too much time in Skyrim, to the point where his ideals would be perverted.  
Lying on his bed, still half-asleep, he tried to think about it. He tried to know whether Karmyn had this vision of love in mind, and what he could get from it. They certainly couldn't get children; marriage was something else; what else was there to be? What could Karmyn even want from him? Could he be trying to obtain a reason to keep Derkeethus at his side? Or was it something entirely different?  
He didn't know. He didn't know, and that made him confused. Scared. He didn't know what to expect from this man, he couldn't guess what would happen from then on. Try all he may he just couldn't. He was lost, not understanding, stuck with unrequited feelings from the one he thought all along was his best friend and nothing else.  
He couldn't find the strength to get up and face Karmyn. But he had to; there would be missions to do, caves to explore, dragons to slay, and they'd have to see each other and talk about it. Derkeethus knew Karmyn well enough to know he wouldn't let go easily. They'd have to talk about it, sooner or later, and they'd both be hurt.  
He didn't want this to happen.  
Grumbling, Derkeethus gathered his strength, and rose out of bed. A quick look in the master bedroom informed him that Karmyn was already up. Putting on his armor, sheathing his sword, he trod downstairs, unwillingly ready to be faced with Karmyn's cheeky greetings at any moment now. He had done that almost every morning since they have started living together.  
Strangely enough, said greetings never came.  
Derkeethus looked in the kitchen, in the laboratory, but Karmyn was nowhere to be found. He felt worried; but maybe he simply wanted to run some errands on his own. He could have been gone to the nearby forge, or simply to buy some food at Candlehearth Hall. Oblivion, he could even have gone doing this one quest in the High Gate Ruins, as he'd said he would. In any case, this was an occasion not to see him right away, which Derkeethus wouldn't pass on.  
As he sat at the kitchen table, eating a creme treat from a pastry bowl, he spotted a folded paper under a tankard. He took it, and read the message written in a messy handwriting.

“By the river, east of the docks. You can come if you want.  
-Karmyn”

Derkeethus looked at the note for a dozen of seconds or so. He flipped it around, to see if that was all there was. Then he sighed, putting it down.  
What could he be up to again?  
He finished eating in silence, then walked outside, locking the door behind as usual. The sky was still dark, a few clouds trailing by, covering the stars. There was a chilly wind roaming in the halls of Windhelm, blowing some snow off the ancient stones, making the juniper bushes dance in its rhythm. No one to be seen but the patrolling guards.  
With nothing else to do, Derkeethus headed towards the docks.

~~~~~ 

If it wasn't for the music, he wouldn't have found him.  
Sitting on a rock near the river, Karmyn was gently strumming some notes on his lute. Having been at the Bards' College for a week or so, he could manage to play a melody or two. The tune of a traditional Skyrimean song led Derkeethus to his friend, who barely moved at his arrival.  
Derkeethus stood silent for a minute or so, listening to the music. He didn't have anything to say, and apparently neither did Karmyn. The blue Argonian was keeping his eyes on his instrument, as if he was focused on not playing the wrong notes. From the corner of the eye, Derkeethus followed his fingers as they slowly stroked the strings, finding some calm in the soft movement of his hands.  
Karmyn played the last notes of the chorus, ending on a grave key that resonated in the air for a long second. He sighed, putting his lute back in his inventory, still not saying anything. All he did was look towards the sky, his eyes somewhat lost in the clouds, and gently pat the rock next to him. An invitation to take a seat, which Derkeethus did with some reluctance.  
They said nothing, just gazing at the sky. No dragons, only some birds flying around, and clouds. Were they trying to spot something? Or was Karmyn just messing with him?  
He was trying to understand, but Karmyn wasn't helping at all. This man was a complete, obscure mystery. And just when Derkeethus thought he could know what to do, he was lost again.  
That's when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Derkeethus looked at him, but Karmyn still said silent. If anything else, he was lightly smiling. Then, he turned his sight towards east, and Derkeethus followed.  
That's when the sun rose, and the sky got drowned in color.  
From a dark gray concealed by the clouds, traces of pinkish light appeared slowly, soon turning into a salmon hue that reflected over the powdered snow, over the white clouds. Derkeethus watched in awe as the sky became laced with golden threads of light, sewn onto this huge wild canvas spread open above him. The stars seemed to fade away, one by one, as if drown by the light of the rising sun. However, this spectacle was short-lived; in the blink of an eye, it had faded to a pale blue color, trailed over by some wayward clouds.  
Karmyn chuckled slightly.

“Winter sunrise sure is something.”

Derkeethus didn't say anything, still fascinated by what he had just seen. He had lived many mornings in Skyrim and often watched the sun rise...but for some reason, it had never struck him as much as now. As if he had seen the beauty of what such a scene had to offer, but had missed on something else all along. Something he couldn't put his finger on, but knew was there.

“Yeah. It's something.”

Derkeethus' snout suddenly picked a pleasant smell in the air. Turning his head around, he saw Karmyn with something like a bouquet in his hands. Lavender flowers and deathbells.

“I...went up early to pick some.”, Karmyn muttered. “Here.”

And he handed him the bouquet.  
Derkeethus accepted it with utmost prudence. It didn't seem like a trick, or anything bad. He breathed in the scent of the flowers, closing his eyes a little. 

“Well...thank you. I...wasn't expecting this.”

Karmyn didn't answer, and simply wore a little smile.  
Derkeethus could feel the unresolved tension between them. He could feel it, so thick and present he could almost touch it. He realized he had to at least mention the subject, or else this would never go well, no matter how much they tried.  
But Karmyn got quicker.

“This is what I fight for.”

Derkeethus, not quite getting this part, looked at him a little weirdly.

“...for flowers?”

Karmyn chuckled. 

“For flowers.”

Then, he vaguely gestured to the former sunrise, and the trees around, and the river.

“For sunrises.”

He turned his sight to the docks, where the Argonian workers were already gathering, helping sailors with their boats.

“For friends.”

His eyes then followed to the walls of Windhelm.

“For home.”

He then looked at him, and stayed silent. But Derkeethus somehow knew what he was going to say, and this made a strange feeling cross his mind. 

“So...”, Derkeethus summarized, “...you're fighting for both petty and noble things?”

“Nothing's petty if you care about it enough.”

He smiled, in that manner that made Derkeethus's chest do this weird sensation again.

“When I got up early, I immediately thought of taking you watching the sun rise. When I walked on the path there, I picked those flowers, because I know you like them. When I went to greet my friends, I thought about how they were your friends too, and how this was funny. And when I looked at the city walls back there...”

He stopped, as if he couldn't keep talking. But he smiled on, and looked at Derkeethus straight in the eyes.

“...I thought of home. I thought of you.”

Some moments passed, before Karmyn turned his face away.

“I know what you'll say. This doesn't feel natural to you, and my sudden confession...that ought to have scared your scales out. After all, I'm nothing of a romantic.”

His eyes got lost again, somewhere in the horizon.

“But then I thought that maybe...maybe if I got to show you how I feel, rather than telling you, you'd understand.”

He looked at Derkeethus, then chuckled nervously.

“Yeah...t'was a silly idea, was it? I mean, if I can't convey it through words, then how will I do? I'll just be looking plain stupid.”

“I don't think you look stupid.”

The way Karmyn's blue eyes were looking at him was kind of stressful, but at the same time, Derkeethus felt flattered. There still was that odd, warm feeling in his chest, something that felt awkwardly good. He wanted to follow it, even if he knew it was dangerous. Even if the outcome could be terrible.  
He glanced at the flowers in his hand. For some reason, knowing Karmyn had thought of him in such a way was something he liked, even though he would never have expected it.  
Slowly, Derkeethus put his hand on Karmyn's, that was resting on his knee. Karmyn didn't move away or say anything, and simply wrapped Derkeethus's fingers in his own. He could feel his warmth through the leather glove, as he had felt whenever they have held hands. They've done that a lot. Was that another gesture driven by love, and nothing else?  
Derkeethus wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. Karmyn's hand in his' was all he asked for, all he wanted. It had never failed to make him feel safe, to give him something to follow. It was something they shared, no matter the true nature of their relationship.  
Even though he was afraid, Derkeethus wanted to know what would happen. He wanted to know where that could lead them. And now that he knew love was a possible outcome, he still wanted to know whether or not it could actually become a reality.  
Slowly, he let his head rest on Karmyn's shoulder, as he used to. Karmyn's arm wrapped around him, shielding him from the chilling wind. This warmth, this closeness were familiar to him. He wasn't scared of what could happen, as long as Karmyn's protective arms were there. This feeling he had long dismissed as friendship could as well be love; it wouldn't change the fact it was what he wanted, what he sought after. If that was Karmyn's definition of love, he could accept it.  
He closed his eyes, letting Karmyn's other arm wrap around him, nesting his head in the crook of the Dragonborn's neck. He was feeling safe, protected from any danger that could come at them. 

“Karmyn?”, Derkeethus asked, looking up at him.

“Yes?”

Derkeethus tried to talk, sighed, looked away.

“Is this...love?”

Karmyn didn't answer right away. Instead, he gently ran his snout on the side of Derkeethus's face, nuzzling softly. He wasn't trying anything shady, but instead letting their faces touch, in a way that made Derkeethus feel flustered and warm.  
Slowly, Karmyn put a gentle kiss on Derkeethus's cheek. Then another one, slightly below. Then yet another one. With utmost care, he kept covering Derkeethus's cheek in delicate kisses, still silent save for the sound of his breathing. Derkeethus closed his eyes, letting that peaceful feeling take over. Karmyn's lips were soft on his scales, and he loved how good and weird this felt. He set his helmet aside, allowing Karmyn to kiss his snout, his forehead, still with this careful pace. After a time, however, he felt the need to return the favor. Putting a hand over Karmyn's cheek, he kissed him in the neck, gently enough not to startle him. It felt good, rewarding, and he did it again.  
This feeling of familiarity, of closeness, of complicity was the real bind between them. This is what Derkeethus had always thought. But could it be love? Could their action actually be driven by romance, instead of friendship? Could Karmyn's affection and care be the result of his search for a mate? Derkeethus's mind was plagued with those questions, plagued with doubts and worry he couldn't get out.  
Breaking away from pecks, they looked at each other straight in the eyes, for a moment that seemed endless for both of them. The gap between their lips became bridged, without any clue as by whom. And on this moment, Derkeethus felt the rising need to tell all his worries to go fuck themselves.  
Their kiss was chaste, inexperienced, but it was theirs. It was something worth sharing, worth enjoying. Their snouts were bumping, their teeth were clicking, but it felt like utmost perfection to him.  
When they separated again, they were already feeling way better. That's when Karmyn chuckled.

“I don't know.”, he said. “Did this feel like love to you?”

Derkeethus didn't reply, still lost in his thoughts. This had felt good, of course, but now his doubts were intruding again. What would happen if they were to continue? To push it even further?  
Would they lost all that they've built so far?

“I...I don't know...”

He looked away, unsure yet again. 

“I don't want what we had to...to change, you know?”

Karmyn glared at him, and smiled.

“That's what you're scared of?”

He had a little laugh, as he took Derkeethus's hands in his'.

“It won't change anything. I promise.”

He gently run his thumbs in little circles over his follower's palms.

“We can still do our job together, like we've done so far. We'll kill dragons, and loot caves, and become heroes. Together.”

He smiled, and put a reassuring kiss on Derkeethus's snout.

“All that changes is that now, you won't have to hide your obvious crush on me.”

Derkeethus blushed slightly, stuttering.

“Wh...what crush? Don't talk xhuth, you know.”

“Oh, come on. It's...kind of obvious.”

“What tells you that?”

Karmyn grinned, putting on a smug face.

“Well, this morning when I went greeting our friends at the docks, they asked where could my _boyfriend_ be.”

Derkeethus's face turned bright green.

“Your what now?!”

“And, after a quick chat with some of the regular patrons of Candlehearth Hall, it appears that most of Windhelm thinks we're already married.”

The green Argonian his his face in his palms. He could never ever go home again, knowing all their neighbors would think that of him. This was such a shame!

“And when they asked me whether that was true, I told them-”

“Stop, already! That's it, I got it!”

Karmyn chuckled.

“And you know, they weren't thinking bad. Most were happy to know we've finally tied the knot. Even if we didn't, but on the moment, this wasn't a major detail.”

“You now I'm going to strangle you, right? I'm not joking, I'm going to kill you.”

“I know.”

He stood up in a flash, and ran away.

“And that's why I deserve a head start!”

“Hey, come back here, you little-!”

Derkeethus ran after him, as Karmyn escaped into the snowy trees, laughing like a kid. He was faster, and always getting away at the last minute, but Derkeethus didn't give up. After a long chase filled with half-intended death threats, Derkeethus finally managed to pounce him into the snow, where they both fell, laughing like children. Pinned down at the shoulders, Karmyn smiled at the man on top of him, and Derkeethus smiled back, still breathing his exhaustion out. Without thinking about potential passerby’s, they kissed again, this time with much more intensity. His mouth was warm, contrasting with the cold wind and snow around them, and Derkeethus took it upon himself to explore it a little deeper, making Karmyn moan in delight. Truly, this feeling was something unique, and he relieved in it.  
When they broke apart, they were still breathing hastily, their cheeks flushed with warmth. Derkeethus stood up, helping Karmyn out, and brushed some snow off his Dragonscale armor. 

“Now you tell me: does this feel like love?”

Derkeethus didn't know what to answer. Instead, his hand found a way to Karmyn's, and their fingers stayed intertwined together. He smiled, and put a kiss on his snout again.

“I think we should let time decide…but I kind of already have an idea.”

Karmyn smiled, and nodded.

“As long as I get to spend this time by your side.”

He kissed Derkeethus's hand, gently, before they walked towards the city.

“I can't wait to do all kinds of missions with you. To travel everywhere we haven't been yet. To see all the wonders of Skyrim...no, of Tamriel!”

His voice was dreamy, as he was eagerly talking about their adventures yet to come. Derkeethus laughed with him, following in his quick and excited footsteps. Time passed really quick as they found themselves in front of another burial cave near Morthal, ready to fight new fights and slay many more Draugr, to explore the unexplored and unravel new kinds of magic.  
As Dragonborn and follower, but also as partners. And even, although Derkeethus wasn't quite ready to say it yet, as lovers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so proud of my lizard babies  
> i mean just  
> look at em  
> they so pure  
> Also, demiromantic Derkeethus? Discussion's open.


	15. Morthal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut.

“So...what's written in there?”

“It's encrypted. It will take a while before I know.”

Karmyn shrugged at Anska, saying about how this was better than nothing. Some feet behind, Derkeethus was examining the Word Wall, running his fingers over the one word that had previously been glimmering with weird dragon light. A second word to his Storm Call Shout was a reward Karmyn didn't quite expect, mostly because he wasn't using that one very much, but it offered his friend another great show of lights and choir singing.

“Ready to go?”, Karmyn asked his friend while looting the treasure chest.

“Lead, I'll follow. You know how it goes.”

Karmyn grinned as he stored all the gold in his purse, before walking to the exit of the ruins. Another mission, another success, another memorable adventure.  
And another half-hour wasted trying to find the exit.

“Seriously?”, Derkeethus snickered, after they finally found their way out.

“I have a poor sense of orientation. Don't judge.”

“I've already judged you all I could on that.”

“Oh, cut me some slack, would ya?”

He pouted, but Derkeethus tried to tickle his unprotected neck, making him giggle. He replied by nudging him with his elbow, which made Derkeethus nudge him harder. They laughed it off, used to small arguments of the like, that luckily were nothing serious.  
Outside, a chilly night had settled since hours. While it wasn't much of a problem for two Argonians who have lived most of their life in the bitter cold of Skyrim, the path home was quite long from the dungeon to Windhelm, even on horseback. Karmyn wasn't sure he'd make it with his long-distance travel. More likely, while he would be just fine, Derkeethus would be exhausted by the trick, as he wouldn't feel the difference. It might severely deplete his stamina. That's why he decided to head south, towards Morthal.

“We'll rent a room for tonight.”, he said. “I know a place.”

“There might be a storm coming over. Or worse, dragons.”

“Dragonstorms.”

He chuckled at the word, imagining dragons caught in a tornado. Letting Shadowmere trot on the path, he watched around for any dangers.

“Wouldn't it be faster to get to Dawnstar?”, Derkeethus asked. “It's way closer.”

“Sorry, but this Hold is kind of a not-go-to place for the moment.”

“Let me guess. You 'accidentally' stole something again while trying to talk to the shopkeeper?”

“Everyone makes mistakes.”

Derkeethus chuckled, not able to process his companion's stupid behavior. Truly a weird man.  
As they entered the swamp city, they followed on foot, looking for a place to rest in. After asking some inhabitants, they headed to Moorside Inn, a quiet place which warmth and friendliness contrasted with the outside town.

“That was much needed.”, Derkeethus commented, sitting in front of the hearth, warming his hands.

“Oh yeah.”, Karmyn replied. “Help yourself some stew, I'll rent us a room for tonight.”

The innkeeper, Jonna, was a nice Redguard speaking in half-sentences. Karmyn bought some ingredients to make dinner, received a bounty letter, and rented a room for the both of them. The way home was long, and cold, and this place looked very nice. Jonna had only got one room left, and led Karmyn to it once he's paid his stay.  
It was a nice room, with a bed for two. Deer head trophies and snowberry crowns were ornamenting the wooden walls, a couple flat chests were enough to host his stuff for the night, and classic literature books were resting on small shelves next to the bed. Karmyn sat down on the green bedsheets, and looked through the shelf, picking up a volume of Biography of Barenziah. Derkeethus joined him some time later, eating a piece of bread.

“Think the weather will be kinder in the morning?”

“I kind of doubt it, but at least it'll be warmer.”

“Anyway, I've brought the horses out of the snow. There might be a storm coming.”

“Thanks.”

Derkeethus sat on the other side of the bed, and took off his boots. Karmyn moved to a more comfortable position, laying on his back to read. Next to him, Derkeethus was quite unsure of what to do; so he laid down as well, looking at the ceiling and trying to relax.  
He has been quite stressed out these days. While their adventures were still the same, with the same dragons and caves and word walls, he couldn't help but feeling somewhat odd. As if something was wrong, but fine at the same time.  
He felt Karmyn's arm wrap around his shoulders, and his warm snout nuzzling his forehead. There was that, too. Where they really dating? Was it normal behavior for two 'lovers'? Derkeethus didn't know, and that resulted in much tension between the two of them.  
It didn't help that they'd need to share a bed tonight.  
And yet Karmyn was doing his best. He was feeling Derkeethus's unease, so much more than before. He knew his boyfriend wasn't accustomed being as such. He knew that Derkeethus's feelings, whatever they were, were hard to assume.  
But he didn't give up on him. He'd show him that it was alright to love, alright to feel the way he felt. So the least Derkeethus could do was to accept the offer.  
Slowly, Derkeethus gave in, and nestled himself in Karmyn's arm. It was warm, comforting, and honestly quite meaty. He closed his eyes, breathed in his boyfriend's scent, tried to calm his agitated nerves. 

“I guess the day has been rough.”, Karmyn commented.

Derkeethus nodded.

“It's alright. We'll take time to rest.”

He kissed Derkeethus's forehead again, and held him closer to his chest.

“Let's just enjoy some time together, alright?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Derkeethus laid his head on Karmyn's Dragonscale chestplate, moving along with the rhythm of his breathing. The Dragonborn's gloved hand trailed on his follower's arm, tracing along the patterns of the glass armor. Their mutual touch slowly became warmer as they opened up to each other, in that manner unique to them.  
In the time needed to open his inventory, Karmyn switched to more comfortable clothes, leaving Derkeethus free to run his hands on his body. Once he was given permission, Karmyn unfastened his friend's armor, leaving him in standard miner clothes. Their embrace got tighter, warmer, and lovelier; just what they needed.  
With a Telekinesis spell, Karmyn closed the room's door, giving them some privacy. They started kissing, their lips meeting in their warm breath, their mouths getting a moaning hold of each other. This, Derkeethus was okay with. They've shared enough kisses for him to get used to that weird feeling, that shared intimacy. And he liked it. He liked the way Karmyn's fingers were curling around his', the way his hands were trailing up and down his ribs, the slight stroke of his tail on his thighs.  
Brought together by the momentum of their tenderness, their touch started to deepen. Karmyn's tongue met with Derkeethus's neck, caressing his green scales in a way that made him shiver. Their fingers got more curious, exploring places on the other's body, looking for soft spots to touch and fondle.  
With every gesture, every nodded permission, every soft moan, they were becoming even closer. Their now bare chests were in constant contact, their legs and tails tangled together. Karmyn was leaving a soft trail of kisses down Derkeethus's neck, sucking lightly, making him moan a little. Those were things they've already done, that they were used to. But Karmyn wanted to see how far they could go, how far Derkeethus wanted to go. And he needed to start slowly.  
Little by little, one of his hands trailed down his friend's side, and rested on his lap. Derkeethus didn't shove it away, his own hands still holding onto Karmyn's back as they kissed, their tongues fighting for dominance. Being very careful, Karmyn slid a finger under the hem of his breeches, gently pulling them down. That's when Derkeethus stopped their kiss, and looked at him.

“What are you doing?”

Karmyn stopped, and simply kissed his snout.

“I mean...only if you're fine with that.”

Derkeethus looked away for a moment, uneasy, which worried Karmyn. Was it going too fast? Did he screw his chances again?  
They stayed like this for a moment that seemed endless, wondering what to do. After a long second, Derkeethus looked at his friend, and held his hand.

“Maybe...maybe when we get home. But...not here.”

Karmyn nodded.

“Don't worry. I won't do anything you're not okay with.”

He kissed him again, bringing his hands back up, to rest on his sides. The mood had changed once again, this time from warm to just tender.

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. It's fine if you don't want to.”

Karmyn laid down next to his lover, holding him in his arms. He pulled the blanket over them, warming their shivering bodies, and Derkeethus nestled in closer.

“When we get home,” Karmyn said, “I'll make sure you'll have all the love you deserve.”

“Oh, don't be silly.”

“I'm serious.” 

He kissed the back of his neck, long enough to leave a slight mark.

“I'll treat you like the prince you are, _kulaani_.”

Derkeethus chuckled, relieving in the safety of Karmyn's arms. He closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep, lulled by his lover's breathing.  
He could get used to it.

~~~~~ 

When Derkeethus woke up, the sun wasn't anywhere near risen. All lights were out, and there was no sound coming from the rest of the inn. Nothing but silence, and yet something was wrong. Reflexively, he turned around to check on Karmyn, and saw a curious scene.  
The blue Argonian was shuffling in his sleep, grabbing the bedsheets. He was mumbling weird nonsense words, some of which Derkeethus recognized as Jel, and others he assumed were dragon language, seeing how whims of colored mist would exit Karmyn's mouth when he spoke them, like aborted Shouts. The mystery of why Karmyn would Shout in his sleep was of unknown answer, until Derkeethus put two and two together and understood he was having a nightmare.  
Karmyn had told him something about this, but Derkeethus wouldn't have thought it to be so drastic. Karmyn's face was frozen in an expression of fear, his hands were clawing on the blanket like on the hilt of a sword, and his half-muttered Thu'umme were reflecting the terror inspired by his dream enemy.  
Derkeethus didn't know what to do. Should he wake him up? Should he let him finish dreaming? Was there even a way to help him? He thought of using a spell of Pacify, but his Magicka was too weak to cast it.  
Hesitantly, he put a hand on Karmyn's shoulder, and shook him a little. Maybe if he could wake him up?

“Hey, friend.”, he whispered. “Please, wake up.”

Karmyn didn't seem to react, and only clasped the pillow harder. He was whining, almost on the verge of crying. Whatever he was seeing in his dream ought to be terrifying, if it could make him cry.  
Derkeethus tried again, shaking him a little harder. He put his hand on Karmyn's, and held it tightly. He wanted his presence to be felt, and to comfort him. 

“Karmyn, wake up!”

But the Dragonborn kept crying, his body shaking and shivering with fright. His muscles were tense, the fear on his face had turned into pain. However Derkeethus didn't give up, and held his friend in his arms, hugging him into a tight embrace. His body was cold, his hands were clasping and clawing at whatever was in reach, but Derkeethus held on, reassuring him.  
Slowly, Karmyn's body eased, and his crying mutters died down. Derkeethus fondled his horns, soothing him, and kept whispering comforting words into his ear. Soon he felt Karmyn move in his arms, redressing a little.

“D...Derkeethus?”, he asked, visibly confused. “What happened?”

“You were having a bad dream. You...really worried me, friend.”

He stayed silent, Derkeethus's hands caressing his back; after a while, he laid his head on his Hist brother's shoulder, and sighed deeply.

“It was horrible.”, he commented.

“You don't have to remember.”

He took the Dovahkiin in his arms, and kept his comforting routine, until Karmyn straightened up and left their embrace.

“You didn't have to see that.”, he claimed, ashamed.

“Why? There's nothing wrong with having nightmares. It happens, that's all.”

Karmyn nodded, barely looking at him. Derkeethus held his hand again.

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

Karmyn didn't answer, turning his head away. But then, his reply came in a barely muttered manner.

“This time I dreamed of you.”

He said it as if it was something terrible; but Derkeethus didn't quite understand.

“Almost every night since I've escaped from Helgen,” Karmyn continued, “I've dreamed of that. I've had nightmares of me dying. Over and over, until I couldn't anymore. But this time...this time it was _your_ death that I've dreamed of.”

When their eyes finally meet, Karmyn's were soggy with tears.

“I've seen you die, endlessly, over and over. It was torture. I don't know why, or how...but it was horrible. I couldn't do anything about it, and it...it was...”

He didn't finish, breaking into sobs. But there was no need to speak any more. Derkeethus took Karmyn in his arms, letting him cry on his shoulder. Clearly he had seen horrors, things that have hurt him. And clearly his fate of being the Dragonborn had come with terrible drawbacks.  
He kept caressing him, saying reassuring words, until Karmyn ceased crying. He wiped away his tears, and let his lover kiss him gently, his warm breath being the proof he was still alive and well. In the same vein of thought, Derkeethus took Karmyn's hands, and brought them to his chest, letting his friend feel his heartbeat. Karmyn sighed of relief, and laid down with him, caught in Derkeethus's embrace.

“Think you'd like to try and sleep some more?”, the latter asked. 

“I'm not sure.”

He closed his eyes, sighing.

“But I do feel safer with you. Maybe...maybe if you hold me close, my nightmares would leave me alone for this once.”

“It's okay.”

They kissed again, this time more heartfelt, their arms lacing together. This feeling of safety, of familiarity, was something he'd never want to leave again.

“I love you, Derky.”, Karmyn said, already sleepy. “Thank you for being here.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

Derkeethus chuckled a little at the nickname. Such was to be expected from Karmyn. It's not like he minded; after all, it was kind of cute. 

“I love you too...Minny.”

There was a moment of silence for a long, awkward second; but it was broken by Karmyn's sudden burst of laughter. 

“Oh, you little _mey_!”, he said, already cheered up. “You didn't tell me you had such silly things up your sleeves!”

“Sorry. I can take it back.”

“No, no...it's fine. I love it.”

He kissed Derkeethus's neck, licking it a little, making him giggle.

“That's why I love you. You always make me smile, and you know how to cheer me up.”

His fears had calmed down a lot now. Derkeethus held him closer, kissing his horns tenderly, and felt Karmyn slightly ease in his arms. Soon enough, he fell asleep again, his light snoring showing his calm and appeased breathing. Derkeethus kept fondling his horns, wary for signs of another nightmare, but none came. Reassured, he closed his own eyes, and laid his head next to Karmyn's.  
The rest of the night was rather short, but peaceful, and they both woke up Rested. They put their armor back on, offered themselves some breakfast in front of the warm fire, and left the inn, riding in direction of Windhelm. Their trail home was mostly alright, save for a few bandits going after their money. But they made it in one piece, and that was good enough.  
As they entered Hjerim, emptying their inventories in the right places, Karmyn asked Derkeethus a question.

“Do you think you could sleep with me again, tonight?”

That unexpected question was met with an awkward face from Derkeethus's part; but his answer was clear enough.

“Of course...I mean, we're lovers, right?”

They indeed were lovers, after all. Sleeping together was what lovers did, wasn't it? Even if it would end up the same way as last night, but this time they'd be in the privacy of their own home. This time, they certainly could forget about bashfulness and dignity. This time, Karmyn would be going down on him, and do all kinds of things to him, and his hands would run everywhere on his body and his delicious, warm tongue would be sucking on his-

“What would you like to eat for lunch, Derky?”, Karmyn's voice called from the kitchen.

Derkeethus suddenly got out of his devious thoughts, not realizing he hasn't moved since answering Karmyn. Awkwardness at its finest; hope Karmyn didn't see the face he'd have been making. 

“Don't bother, I'll cook.”, he replied hesitantly. 

“Nah, lemme do it for once.”, the Dragonborn grinned, coming into the dining room to take some cabbage from a bowl on the table. “Does pheasant broth seem fine?”

“Yeah, sure. But remember to add garlic.”

As he walked at Derkeethus's level, Karmyn smiled, and gave him a warm glance. 

“You know...”, he said, quite bluntly. “I'll never force you to do anything. If you don't want to sleep with me tonight, you don't have to.”

“It's...not that I don't want. Honestly, I liked our shared night.”

“But something does bother you, doesn't it?”

Derkeethus looked to the side, uneasy. Karmyn's perspicacious eye sure didn't miss that one.

“Well...sleeping isn't a problem.”

He bit his lip in awkwardness. 

“But...we won't _just_ sleep, right? I mean...as lovers, we have to...”

Karmyn stayed silent for an instant, but then chuckled. He wasn't mocking, but simply amused.

“There's no 'we have to' here. Being lovers isn't all about that.”

“You mean...are you sure?”

“Totally. Don't worry about that, _laasi_. If you don't want to mate with me, we won't. I respect your choices.”

He kissed him on the cheek, tenderly.

“I love you no matter what. Whether we mate or not, whether we kiss or not, I love you all the same.”

His cheering up deed done, he then went back to the kitchen, where a nice smell was coming from.  
Derkeethus sighed, already appeased. He was glad to have a companion so understanding of his needs, even though this was just another point on the list of things Karmyn did and for which he was grateful.  
If only he could return all these things somehow.

~~~~~ 

Karmyn lowered the fire under the cooking pot, letting the vegetables gently boil. It would be ready in less than an hour.  
Yawning, stretching up his arms, he went back in the dining room, hoping to find something to do. He's thought of rearranging the book shelves lately, so he might as well do it while he had time to spare.  
As he headed towards the nearest shelf, he smelled a faint warm and spicy aroma in the air. Dragon's tongue, his favorite. He followed it, picking up an odd warmth along, trailing the scent's source to the bathroom.  
Derkeethus was there, half of his clothes already taken off. Magic water was running into the stone tub, accompanied by the warm scent of dragon's tongue soap. His tail was slowly stirring the water, forming some perfumed foam on the surface. 

“Smells good in here.”, Karmyn commented.

“It does.”

Derkeethus looked up at his friend. He didn't say anything for a second, but then mumbled a shy invitation.

“Want to...join in?”

Karmyn smiled gently, considering the offer. Rarely had Derkeethus offered him to share a bath, as they've only ever done that a couple times since they started dating. Each time has been a good moment to share, even though it has always been a little tense since then. But if Derkeethus was inviting him, it meant he was much more open to the idea than before. And this was good news.

“I'd love to.”

Karmyn needed some relaxing time as well. He set his armor aside, entering the tub along with his friend, careful not to burn himself in hot water. Once in, he let his scales become wet enough, before taking some soap in his hands and scrubbing at his muscles. At his side, Derkeethus was rubbing some powder on his curved horns to strengthen them, his eyes parting away from Karmyn's naked body. They've already seen what each other looked like, and it's not like Karmyn was very bashful or shy about himself. How many times had he strutted topless around the house? How many times had he been _bottomless_ around the house?  
Well, to be honest, the latter had only happened once or twice. And yet again, he's had his loincloth on.  
In all truthful honesty, Derkeethus found Karmyn to be very handsome. He had a nice face, a well-proportioned body, muscular limbs and a long tail. His many scars and body markings were telling the story of this strange and brave man, engraved on a skin that could have been soft and tender. He had some slight curves, mostly contrasted by the musculature of his thighs and shoulders.  
A great appearance and an even better personality; Derkeethus couldn't have asked for better. Even though he never wanted to ask for anything, one of the best people he has ever known was right here, living in the same house as him, sharing his days and adventures, and wanting to be his lover.  
It felt really weird, especially considering Derkeethus was someone very plain and average. He had nothing to offer, nothing to stand out for. And yet, the Dragonborn himself loved him, and said he'd wanted to marry him someday. Something in all of this felt wrong, uncalled for. Unbelievable. As if Derkeethus expected Karmyn to say it was just a prank all along. The thought made him rather uneasy; because if their love was something he still didn't quite understand, he had faith in Karmyn and trusted him. If he were to toy with his heart like this, he'd never forgive him. 

“Is something wrong, dear?”, Karmyn asked out of the blue. “I feel you're quite tense.”

Derkeethus shook his head.

“It's fine. Nothing serious.”

“Tell me if something bothers you.”

And he kissed him in the neck, gently enough not to startle him.  
He was always kind and gentle with him. This was a major contrast with the barbaric and ruthless image most people had of the Dovahkiin, but it fitted him just the same. Derkeethus let Karmyn move his lips from his neck to his cheek, kissing with the same love and warmth as usual. Maybe it was the proximity of their naked bodies or a side effect of water, but his heart thumped a little louder. 

“I just...feel a little weird.”

“I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to ease that?”

“I...don't think so.”

The worry in his voice was genuine, and it made Derkeethus's worries lift away a little. He rested his head on the blue Argonian's shoulder, finding calm in his warmth and wetness.

“You're here, and that's enough.”

Karmyn chuckled.  
Gently, he spread some dragon's tongue soap onto Derkeethus's back and shoulders, scrubbing with skilled fingers, making his friend moan in delight at this impromptu massage. He made Derkeethus sit between his thighs as he scrubbed, bringing him even closer, chest and back touching, only separated by a thin layer of perfumed foam. Derkeethus closed his eyes, breathed in slowly, his friend's fingers pressing on all his tense spots. It felt really good, especially when Karmyn kissed his neck again, this time running his tongue up and down his scales. His breath was warm and moist, and so, so inviting…  
Brought by a whim of familiar desire, Derkeethus took one of Karmyn's hands, and brought it lower so it rested on his stomach. Karmyn caught the drift, and gently fondled his friend's skin, cleaning his body more thoroughly. It was so intimate, so good. This feeling in Derkeethus's chest grew even more, and so did his desire. Karmyn was there, alive and well, holding him in his arms and caring for him. In moments like this, Derkeethus was willing to throw away all notions of debt and worth, and accept what he was given: a precious treasure of love and care.  
Karmyn must have sensed his mind, as he started to kiss even deeper. His hands trailed a little lower, resting just above Derkeethus's crotch, not daring to go any further. Derkeethus's face heated up at the thought of what was to come, as he wasn't sure of this: was that really what he wanted? Would he really go that far, despite everything he believed, everything he has said?  
Yes, he told himself. Karmyn deserved it, and he would have it. He would have the night of love and pleasure they've both been longing for, even if they didn't know it. It was only fair.  
Without a word, Derkeethus brought Karmyn's hands inbetween his legs, and nodded.  
With another kiss, Karmyn's fingers trailed along his inner thighs, quickly finding a way to Derkeethus's slit. He gently pushed his thumb into his cloaca, carefully watching his lover's reaction. It felt hot, and of a different wetness than that of the water around them. Karmyn rubbed his thumb in little circles across Derkeethus's entrance, feeling more of his insides with each thrust of his finger. His walls were slick, tender, inviting. Kissing more of his lover's skin, Karmyn pushed his index finger all the way in, and Derkeethus squealed.

“N...not so hard!”, he moaned.

“Sorry. I'll go slower.”

He retracted it, entering much slower this time. He felt a slight bump, caressed it softly, and Derkeethus moaned again. Karmyn repeated the gesture several times, crooking his finger against his walls, adding a second one to strengthen his grasp. That's when he felt something squirm, and withdrew just enough to let Derkeethus's cock unravel from his cloaca. It wasn't very long, but had an interesting feel to it.  
Karmyn delicately took it in his hand, and stroked a little. While Derkeethus knew what it was feeling like, he had never been touched by anyone else. Karmyn's hands were giving him a pleasure he has never known, laced with warmth and a tingling feeling in his loins that made him moan in delight again, especially once Karmyn started pumping at a regular pace. The Dragonborn wasn't very sure of what he was doing either, but he was willing to try.  
With a twist of his thumb, Karmyn tightened his grip, and rubbed more of his fingers on his boyfriend's shaft, caressing his purplish tip every time he was going up. His other arm wrapped around Derkeethus's shoulders, bringing him closer into their embrace. This feeling of safety definitely was the best, and Derkeethus could feel Karmyn's love in each of his gestures: every caress, every kiss, every move was driven by their closeness and intimacy, and the sturdy saplings of their love were slowly growing into vivid and strong trees. However, it wasn't the only sturdy thing to be involved; against his hips, Derkeethus could feel Karmyn's cock quickly hardening. Only by the touch, he could tell it was bigger than his own, and that he suddenly found himself longing to have it inside of him. Even though the thought was quite stupid: where could it fit? Unless he actually intended to stick it up his cloaca...oh boy, what could it feel like?  
But before he could ask, Karmyn let go of Derkeethus, and dived his head underwater. He kissed his follower's stomach, trailing his mouth downwards until he reached his inner thighs. Being very careful with his teeth, he kissed the tip of Derkeethus's cock, before taking it in his mouth. It had a weird taste, like salmon roe, but it only turned him on even more. While he was sucking, one of his hands went down to slide his fingers into Derkeethus's smooth cloaca, pressing against his walls to trigger more of his sensitive spots. Derky moaned even louder as he was slowly getting buried in Karmyn's warm mouth, his slit being fingered with care and skill. Putting a hand on Karmyn's head, he pushed him even further on his dick, wanting more of this foreign and amazing feeling. Seemingly appreciating the dominant undertones of this gesture, Karmyn took more of his juicy dick on his tongue, making his partner raise his voice even more, going into high-pitched tones when Karmyn spread his fingers inside. Derkeethus stuttered something unclear, to which Karmyn replied by sucking a bit faster. His breathing hitched in response, both of his hands getting a grip of Karmyn's horns, which made him suddenly clasp his jaws. The resulting contact and warmth, combined with his fingers buried deep inside, was so intense that Derkeethus couldn't help releasing his load into his lover's mouth, a thick dash of sperm that stuck to the back of the Dragonborn's mouth.  
Karmyn rose from Derkeethus's legs, coughing a little from the sudden spill. They looked at each other, unsure of what to do, until Karmyn came closer and kissed his mate again, with much passion and force. Derkeethus tasted himself on his tongue, which was really weird, but also turned him on a little.  
When their lips parted, they exchanged another glance, Karmyn smiling of delight. 

“Did it feel good?”, he asked.

Derkeethus slowly nodded.

“Would you want more?”

“I...well...”

He wasn't very sure. Was he ready to go all the way? Karmyn had just shown he had a lot of skill, but what if they were to fully mate and become one? Derkeethus became quite aroused by this thought. Having Karmyn sheathed inside of him, having this thick cock of his' ramming into his cloaca, being fondled and kissed all over, and getting his warm seed to spray all over his walls…  
He shivered of delight.

“Yeah. Let's do it.”

Karmyn grinned, and kissed his snout, gently nuzzling him for a long and tender moment. His mouth moved down his neck, soon joined by his tongue, and played with his lover's scales, making him shudder of pleasure. This would be a long night of fun, he could feel it.  
That's when they smelled something weird. Something burning. 

“Oh xhuth!”, Karmyn exclaimed. “I completely forgot about lunch!”

In a swift move, he jumped out of the bathtub, running into the kitchen completely naked, leaving gross puddles behind.  
Derkeethus sighed, knowing the mood wouldn't come back before a good while. He drained the water away, got out of the tub and dried himself with a towel. From the kitchen, he could hear Karmyn lamenting himself over his ruined soup, which made him chuckle.  
There would be many more occasions for them to mate, to love each other, and to have a good time. And this time, Derkeethus would be ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent a lot of time researching reptilian genitalia, believe me or not.  
> I guess that's what they call dedication.
> 
>  _Kulaani_ : "my prince"  
>  _Laasi_ : "my life"  
>  _Mey_ : "fool"


	16. Sleeping Tree Camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut.
> 
> Also hey, we've missed S&S's first anniversary by a couple weeks. Wow, I can't believe it's gone so fast! :O

“Okay, now just turn it a couple more times.”

Derkeethus pressed the stone again, and it turned around on itself, now showing its eagle-emblazoned side.

“Now?”

“Now we gotta try out.”, Karmyn said, walking to the handle.

He turned it sideways, then stepped out of the stone circle. To the Argonians' surprise, it worked, and the trapdoor opened.

“Sweet.”

Inside the hatch was a treasure chest, surrounded by the bones of some lost explorer. Karmyn looted it, grabbing a fat pile of gold and a book.

“Hm. Already read that one, but I could sell it a good price.”

He pocketed the rest, and jumped out of the hole, looking over at Derkeethus.

“So. Where we headed, now? I think we have a quest around there.”

The green Argonian didn't answer, looking at some point in the horizon. Karmyn raised a brow, came closer to him, trying to see what he was seeing. Then Derkeethus pointed at some brown forms moving; mammoths.

“There's at least three or four. Must be some huge giant camp.”

“Where there's a camp, there's loot. And lots, lots of food.”

“Karmyn. You're carrying too much, you won't be able to collect all of that. Here, let me help you.”

“Pfft. Alright, longtail.”

As Karmyn handed him a set of weapons, their fingers brushed together. Their eyes met, and they didn't move for a short moment, until Karmyn's hand draped over Derkeethus's.  
Needless to say, things were still quite awkward. Especially since that bathtub scene. But they were growing out of it, and managed to truly appreciate each other's company. It was becoming normal for them to holds hands in public, kiss in the open and call each other by their pet names. There wasn't anything weird with it, and while they've gotten quite the funny looks in town, Karmyn had reassured his follower as much as possible. Then people sort of got used to it, and a couple weeks later it wasn't as big of a deal as before. Except maybe for the two of them.  
Their love was merely a young tree, with frail branches wavering in the wind, but with strong roots to keep it safe. They'd let it grow at its own pace, while nurturing it and caring for it like proud parents with their child.  
Also, that kind of analogy would lately make a lot of similar thoughts race through the Dragonborn's mind. But that would stay his own fantasy for now.  
Derkeethus helped Karmyn with his inventory, before the two friends headed towards the mammoths. They were keeping their footsteps silent, careful to stay out of the beasts' sight. Once close enough, they crouched, drew their weapons out. Karmyn armed an Animal Allegiance Thu'um should the situation require it. They poisoned their bows, waited for the right moment, and then struck down the closest beast.  
Chase ensued. The two other mammoths coursed in their direction, but Karmyn's Shout stopped them. Instead, they turned around to attack the stunned giant that was heading this way. Not losing any time, the Argonians switched to close-range weapons, and tried to attack the massive creature while dodging its huge mace. It still managed to hurt Karmyn, who crawled back after being sent to fly away under the force of the blow, and had to eat several cheese wheels to get better. Derkeethus retaliated by summoning his Atronach, and quickly switching to a staff of Chain Lightning to deal better damage. Meanwhile, Karmyn's Shout cooldown had dissipated, allowing him to freeze the giant in action. He then rushed forward again, lunging at the beast, swinging his sword and planting it in its stomach. The giant fell with a loud thud; at the noise, the mammoths charged again, only to be stopped with a blast of thunder. The second one got struck with an arrow of fear and ran away, only to be shot down by a distance. Finally, after a long fight, there was no one to disturb them anymore.  
Karmyn sat on a rock, exhausted, and drank some Stamina potion. Derkeethus went around the corpses and looted them of gold, meat and ingredients. His arm, broken by the giant's mace, was slowly healing.

“Now let's see if there are any chests.”

There was one indeed, and it had quite the gold. As they approached the camp, Karmyn heard the familiar sound that meant this place was a new one; the “Sleeping Tree Camp.” Indeed, there was a tree over there.

“I'll go loot the cheese. You can search for plants.”, said Karmyn, heading towards the hide cauldrons to harvest the strong-smelling cream.

His inventory still was quite heavy. He dropped some tusks and useless items into the chest, where they'd be of use to whoever were to come afterwards. Well, given anyone ever comes here.  
And truly, sometimes it felt as if everything in the world belonged to him. Since no one would ever take those treasures in dungeons, he might as well claim them all right away.

“So. Where are we going next?”, he asked.

Derkeethus didn't answer. Instead, his green eyes were still fixated on the tree. So naturally, Karmyn came closer to investigate.

“What's the matter?”

He was about to make a snickering comment, but that's when he felt it.  
Some kind of odd energy. It was coming from that tree.

“Derky...is that…?”

Derkeethus came closer, walking into the shallow pond surrounding the silvery trunk. Hesitantly, he touched the glistening wood.  
It felt like a wave of warmth coursing through his veins.

“Minny...you need to see that!”

Karmyn didn't understand. So naturally, he came closer as well, and touched the tree. It was so foreign, and yet so familiar. It was like...like something he'd have known a long time ago. This sentence was absolutely cliché, but that was the only way to describe how he was feeling.

“Is it…?”

“A Hist tree.”

The Dovahkiin couldn't believe his ears. A Hist tree? In the middle of Skyrim? But what...why? How?

“Why would a Hist tree grow here, so far away from Black Marsh?”

“I don't know. But it's unmistakable.”

Karmyn tried to think. Didn't Ysolda told him about a tree that seemingly had grown from a lost spore? It felt so weird...but there it was. A tree with a life of its own, possibly connected to a hivemind of thousands of other trees…

“It's weird, don't you think?”

Karmyn chuckled in response, his hand running over the purplish bark. That's when he felt something hard on a side of the tree: a spigot.  
Derkeethus looked at him.

“I know what you're thinking. And that's a very bad idea.”

But Karmyn was already harvesting some of the purple sap in an empty vial. It had a pleasant smell.

“Derky. When has 'drinking tree sap' ever been a bad idea for us Argonians?”

“Well we're not even sure of whether this is a Hist tree or not!”

Karmyn rolled his eyes, poured some sticky sap on his palm. It had a honey-like texture, and was sort of warm.

“You're not curious enough, that's the problem. Have a little more faith in me, will you?”

And before Derkeethus could add anything, Karmyn licked the purple sap.  
His first reaction was to almost spit it out. It had such a strong taste! But he resisted it, and swallowed. It felt like his tongue was being pierced by thousands of tiny needles. His throat was hurting, as if that liquid had been some kind of foreign spice. It calmed down after a moment, releasing its flavor in his breath; it had strong whiffs of mint and pine tree sap, and had it been diluted into a drink would it have been actually enjoyable. But despite the sourness and initial effect, Karmyn got used to the taste after licking some more.  
Next to him, Derkeethus was watching with anxious eyes.

“So...how do you feel?”

“I guess...pretty good? I mean, it's very strong, like some fucked up skooma. But it's okay.”

As he handed the vial to Derkeethus, he felt like trying out its effects. He attempted to connect his mind to the tree's, just like a real Hist would do. He opened his spirits, let the sap slowly dissolve in his veins, like some kind of drug. But even when his instincts started to sharpen up, nothing of the sort happened.

“Maybe that tree is actually dead?”

Derkeethus drank some of the sap, and almost coughed it out as well. But he seemingly liked it, as he swallowed the rest in a breath. His throat started to burn in a similar fashion, but it quickly dissipated. The taste was easy to enjoy after a few licks, like some kind of minty lemon. It was like poison, but a good kind of poison, given such a thing could even exist.

“It feels...”

_“Weird.”_

A moment passed. Derkeethus looked at his partner with anxious eyes.

“It's weird...I didn't see you talk.”

“It's because I wasn't…?”

Wondering, Karmyn held Derkeethus's hand, and tried to think very hard.

_”Can you hear me?”_

To that Derkeethus replied with wide eyes.

“Woah...did I just hear your thoughts?”

“I...I think so!”

_”Hang on, that can't be true, isn't it?”_

“Yes! Yes it is! I...I can't read your thoughts, but it's like...like I can see what you're thinking!”

He smiled wide. Hist sap had similar properties, allowing Argonians to communicate with the trees. But that was something entirely else, as never it has been told that it could also help them link their own minds together. Was it the power of the Umbriel Hist?  
They sat on the roots of the tree, still holding hands, looking at each other. Even so, they could feel everything around them; every insect, every bird, every rustle of the wind in the mountain flowers. It was something unknown and odd, and yet it was so pleasant. Slowly, their foreheads touched, as they closed their eyes. Despite the aching need for movement that was thriving ever stronger in their guts, they were feeling at peace. It was as if their ever-growing connection was surpassing that primal need, in a way that couldn't be explained so easily.

_“It feels so strange...”_

_“Yeah. It's like...like we're reading each other's mind.”_

Slowly, from sitting next to each other, they assumed a more comfortable position, with Karmyn resting his head on Derkeethus's chest. It felt good, that's why. Wondering, Derkeethus tried to feel more of Karmyn's spirit, tried to read his emotions.

 _”I want to fight...I need to do something!”_ , the Dragonborn's mind complained.

_“I feel you, brother.”_

It was foreign, and familiar at the same time. Karmyn wasn't sure about letting his partner read his mind; as much as he loved him, it was feeling way too weird, almost perverse. Yet at the same time it wasn't as bad as he could think, for there was something very intimate about this.  
He thought for a moment. Maybe this strange connection could turn out to be useful?  
Slowly, he concentrated. Focusing his mind, he thought about Derkeethus. About how he loved him, how he wanted to kiss him and make him smile. Surprisingly, he felt his partner squirm a little, chuckling in his low voice.

“That feels good.”

Karmyn smiled, and thought some more. He thought of how warm he was, here in his Hist-brother's arms. He thought of how nice it felt when they cooked together, how rewarding it felt when they fought together. He thought about the few nights they have spent outside, snuggling together as they slept to stay warm.  
Derkeethus started to caress the Dragonborn's cheek. Surely he was feeling that. And that's when Karmyn got a response; warm, lovely emotions wrapped around his mind. It felt like a kiss, a soft word, a caress, a smile. He snuggled in with his lover, holding his hand, and replied as well.  
This exchange lasted for several minutes, during which an outsider would have only seen two Argonians cuddling silently, smiling and sometimes exchanging a glance, a giggle. But for the two of them, it was a full-fledged exchange of love and warmth, a conversation that didn't need words. They could see what the other would show, feel what the other wanted them to feel, listen to the other's silence that spoke so much more than words ever could.  
Little by little, they got the hang of their mindful connection, knew what they could tell and how. And they were now telling each other many things, so much that by now both Argonians were feeling their partner's love in every fiber of their being. Their snuggle had gotten deeper, and they've started to mutually nuzzle and kiss. There was a faint smell of musk coming from the both of them, and faint pheromones were floating in the air. Their thoughts were slowly drifting, and their mental kisses had started to deepen. Maybe this kind of sap had other properties?  
Karmyn kissed Derkeethus's neck, feeling his pulse through his scales. His lover's pheromones were like an invitation to get closer, to tie their bodies together even more. To that Derkeethus was replying with even more caresses, going so far as to gently touch Karmyn's horns. The Dragonborn let him; it was quite intimate even though there wasn't really anything pleasurable to it. But as the touch deepened, Karmyn felt like gently pulling away, and looked into his lover's eyes.

_”Would you like to go further?”_

At this point, it felt like a question that needed to be asked.  
Derkeethus was someone very bashful. But once he had started to take ease in their intimacy, he had slowly opened himself to thing he wouldn't have done before. His actions were more spontaneous, more heartfelt. He would sometimes kiss Karmyn's cheek for the sake of it, hold his hand when they were walking; even his body signals changed over time, with latent possessiveness slowly turning to faithfulness, and his jealous bits fueling a desire to mate he was keeping under a strict check.  
But given their mindful conversation, that desire could very well become a reality. Since their first approach of mating, in the special circumstances of their bathroom, he had thought a lot about it, and told himself that it wasn't much use denying his own feelings anymore: he wanted Karmyn to unite his body with his'. He wanted to give him this right, the right he'd be the first to have.  
That's why he nodded.  
The Dragonborn smiled, and kissed him softly, yet deeply. They looked into each other's eyes, unsure of what to do. Should they commit to it right away? Should they give way to their feelings in the open, like beasts?  
No. It didn't feel right. They couldn't just mate like animals devoid of love. Not where they could be seen and attacked.

“Let's...let's go home, first. It'll feel better.”

With a bit of fast travel, Karmyn brought them back to Windhelm. They walked down the streets, back into Hjerim, where a familiar warmth welcomed them.  
Derkeethus was still holding his partner's hand, his thumb rubbing against Karmyn's warm palm. Slowly, they made their way to the master bedroom, where they sat on the bed. Likely they'd be more eager to do it. But when they looked at each other and tried to communicate, they saw the sap's effects had dissipated. Their mental connection, if it was still there, was quite weak. Their closeness wasn't as warm, and the intimacy they've felt wasn't as strong anymore. Ans most of all, they couldn't read the other's thoughts anymore.

“...”

It felt awkward. They didn't know what to say. Should they drink some more of that Hist sap wannabe? Should they forget about their intent, postpone it? Or do as if nothing had happened at all and continue?

“It's up to you.” Derkeethus said, holding Karmyn's hand.

“It's up to us.”

Their foreheads touched, more from habit than affection. It felt like a wasted opportunity, but trying to make it happen again would feel forced and uncalled for. The mood just wasn't there anymore.

“We could just cuddle.”, the Dragonborn offered. “It's always nice.”

“Yeah.”

Slowly, Karmyn found himself wrapped by strong arms, his head relaxing against a solid shoulder. They both switched to standard clothes, and rested against one another, contemplating their now thoughtless silence.  
There were moments when Karmyn would feel butterflies tingling at his stomach, fire pulsing in his heart and sparkles coursing through his veins when he was with Derkeethus. Those were his favorite moments of all. But sometimes, these vivid sensations would leave room for something else, something of another nature – warmth. He would feel safe, at home, with this man he has come to love. He would feel the tranquility of knowing he could rely on him, even in the direst moments, even in the worst times. And that feeling was worth all the sparkles and the butterflies in the world.

“I love you.”

Those words were charged with that feeling of safeness. That feeling Karmyn hadn't felt in a long, long time. Since he had fled from Black Marsh, no place had ever made him feel like home. No house he's ever stayed in had deserved that name. But now, he had managed to find his home; not necessarily Hjerim itself, but the place where Derkeethus lived as well. Breezehome, their temporary resting places – oblivion, even the tent they've shared that night when they first kissed, they've all felt like this. Because as long as his follower would stay by his side, then and only then could Karmyn call a place _home_. That was, in is opinion, what love was for. It had given him, a runaway-elevated-Dragonborn, a home. A household. A _family_.  
Hanging on a chain, safely tucked against his chest, was a ring. A silver ring, bearing three flawless amethysts. But Derkeethus didn't need to know that yet; when the moment's right, then only would Karmyn ask him the question he'd been longing to ask for weeks now.

“I love you too.”

And the “right time” was coming closer and closer everytime Derkeethus would respond positively to his love.  
Karmyn smiled softly, his fingers entwined with his lover's. Green lips found a way to his neck, gently tracing over his slight scars. That soft touch made him shiver somewhat, for that spot was quite sensitive. And Derkeethus, by the time, knew exactly where to touch to make him shudder like no one. As for the miner, knowing that a warrior on his permanent guard would allow him to touch him and kiss him in his most intimate places was a reward in itself, a token of utmost trust and care. A token he wouldn't lose.  
They laid on the bed, still holding each other, holding hands. They felt like kissing, so their lips found a way together again. Derkeethus brought Karmyn on top of him, to feel the weight of his body, as if he was afraid to let himself float away. This brought them even closer as they kept kissing, breathing each other's scent, caressing their bodies with careful hands. It felt natural, now; there was no need to hold back, not at this point. They've decided they'd love each other openly, and hiding their feelings would be pointless.  
Little by little, they opened up again. They started to drift from affection to sensuality, as their hands started to run on their warming bodies once again. They looked into the other's eyes; but where they could have exchanged thoughts and memories an hour earlier, this time it wasn't anything save for blue and green looking at each other. But they didn't need a fabricated mind connection to convey their thoughts and feelings. Not when they already knew almost all they could know of the other.

“Do you still want to take it further?”

“We could try.”

They smiled again. Then, Karmyn kept kissing down his lover's neck, knowing where he was most sensitive too. Derkeethus whimpered slightly, taken aback by the sheer feeling of this touch, but he didn't fight back. If anything, he even pulled Karmyn's face closer, guiding him to his collarbone, where the Dovahkiin planted tiny little kisses as well.  
Once he felt the mood was set enough, Karmyn began to lick there, trailing his tongue in slight movements over his partner's scales, watching for his reaction and keeping on wherever it was most pleasurable. Even though Derkeethus was open to intimate pleasure, he would almost feel ashamed of it, trying to muffle down his moans and gasps. Karmyn found it rather cute, kissing and licking with more sensuality, to try and get a better sound from him. Needless to say, that gave the green Argonian quite a hard time, for Karmyn's attempts were rather well done, and even successful, going as far as to make him gasp in surprise. He sure did not expect a slight nibble to get that reaction out of him. That only made Karmyn try again, carefully grazing his teeth over the sensitive area.  
They rolled again, this time with Derkeethus on top. He was a bit heavier, but Karmyn had ease supporting his weight. He quite liked it, as it felt warm and protecting. His hands wandered down to Derkeethus's waist, feeling around his lower back and tracing under his shirt, grazing over his muscles. He felt the familiar leather of his scales, trailed across by the bumps of his spine. They kept kissing, tongues meeting as they tilted their heads, their teeth clicking together. Derkeethus's tail started to wag slowly, even going to touch Karmyn's wrist. To that, the Dragonborn replied by moving his own tail, and meeting it with his lover's. They broke from the kiss, looking at each other; then gently, their tails wrapped together. Then they smiled sheepishly, nuzzling each other.  
Still going at their own pace, they started to undress. They took off their shirts, feeling around each other's chest. Derkeethus started to know Karmyn's body quite well: where his scales were the softest, where some scars would still hurt and he needed caution, where he liked to be touched and where he was ticklish. Meanwhile, Karmyn had a similar knowledge of his partner's body, after having patched him up many times. His hands ran up to Derkeethus's shoulders, fingers pressing into his muscles and wrists moving just enough to give him a good massage. To that the follower replied by gently grinding against Karmyn's lower belly. Their lips met as they caressed, their chests pressing together, tails intertwined. And that warmth kept going on, rising into heat as the grinding became mutual.  
Soon after, they took off their breeches, staying in underwear. Their legs were tangled together, their bodies huddled in to keep warm. Karmyn ran his fingers on Derkeethus's face, cupping his cheek.

“Feeling ready?”

The other nodded.

“I've never felt so ready.”

Karmyn smiled, kissing him again. Then he leaned over, kissing his way down to his partner's crotch, and upon permission unfastened his loincloth, freeing Derkeethus's hardness. He kissed it for a moment, before taking it in his mouth.  
Derkeethus gasped, his head caressing Karmyn's horns. It was feeling so good, so intimate. Karmyn's tongue was working wonders, bringing his arousal to its apex in a matter of seconds. And yet, Derkeethus wasn't quite completely satisfied. Indeed, why would he be the only one on the receiving end? That was quite unfair. But he had an idea.  
He moved down a bit, making Karmyn pull away for a moment. Turning around, laying onto the blue Argonian, his face met his partner's crotch, which he freed from underclothing. Hesitantly, he took Karmyn's reddish cock in his mouth, getting a surprised gasp from his lover, who soon resumed his mouthwork.  
There was something oddly good about pleasuring each other this way. It was intimate, pleasing, but not a bestial kind of pleasure like Derkeethus would have expected. It was the kind that made their bodies warm and fluttering while still staying quiet and calm. It was feeling good and relaxing, to simply bask in each other's scent, and letting their growing arousal do its job. Karmyn could honestly say he loved resting this way, with a mouthful of cock and Derkeethus's hands caressing his thighs. And as always, that pleasant smell of sweat and musk that he's come to love, and that would soon get embedded into the bedsheets.  
After a time, their game stepped up. Karmyn's motions became quicker, more intuitive. Derkeethus gasped slightly, taken aback by the change of pace. But he could do that too; with his finger, he carefully prodded his partner's cloaca, gently slipping it inside to test the waters. Karmyn replied with a pleased moan; this was quite a foreign feeling, but a really good one. He could only moan even more when he felt his finger crook inside, feeling around his walls.

“Don't stop...”

“This wasn't my intention.”

The Dragonborn huffed slightly, pleased by the feeling. Before he knew it, he was back to sucking on his boyfriend's member, before deciding to give up. Instead, his tongue trailed up, to lick at his cloaca, his tongue pushing inside. Derkeethus squirmed in surprise, his entrance getting much wetter already, before he replied by adding in another finger.  
It was feeling so good. Both of them were surprised by how simple touches could have such an effect. Yet they didn't need to question it; it was love, in its simplest form. It was love that fueled each of their gestures, that made their slightest strokes into declarations of desire, that fed their intimacy to the point where they'd be there, panting while tonguefucking each other, fingers wrapped around a firm shaft or thrusting into a warm slit. When Karmyn gasped about how close he was, his voice was filled with love as well. Well, mostly of desire and lust, but after a long series of thrusts into his partner's hand, the result was the same; in a squirmy thrust, Karmyn spurted out a quick dash of creamy cum into his lover's waiting mouth, eyes fluttering in pleasure. Derkeethus hesitated before swallowing it; the taste wasn't very good, but it was how Karmyn tasted. And that was quite hot in itself. Meanwhile, Karmyn kept his tongue running over Derkeethus's slit, milking his cock with one hand, until he brought his boyfriend to release as well, all over his chest. That made his cheeks burn up in embarrassement, but it was just so hot.  
Still in the afterglow, the Argonians sat up, holding each other close, trying to get their breathing back to regular. They exchanged yet another kiss, deeper and rougher than before, with hints of semen between their mouths. Then they looked at each other, tails finding their way together again, and nuzzled until Karmyn laid down, as if offering himself. Derkeethus laid on top of him, kissing him again.

“I thought you wanted me to do it?”, he asked.

“Would you have wanted to?”

Derkeethus's cheeks flushed a little as he nodded. He'd have really wanted to feel Karmyn inside of him.

“Then...how about we take turns?”

“That's fine by me, but...won't we get tired?”

“Trust me.”

He was trusting him indeed. Led by their eagerness, they kissed again.  
Karmyn's hand wrapped around Derkeethus's member, pumping slightly. His hand then gleamed a faint blue, coating his shaft in a thin layer of some slick substance. Seeing his boyfriend's questioning glance, he chuckled.

“It's a spell I've learned from my college roommate at Winterhold. It lubricates just enough while protecting from any nasty stuff.”

“Magic is so weird, but that's pretty useful.”

Derkeethus lined up with Karmyn's cloaca, letting his knotty tip find its way just past the entrance. Karmyn nodded, and closed his eyes as he felt his lover entering inside of him.  
It was quite weird. That feeling of fullness, accompanied by a hot wetness, was foreign to the Dovahkiin. Yet it was rather pleasing, and as always laced with so much intimacy that Karmyn legitimately thought his scales would burn his partner, seeing how his pulse was getting faster. Derkeethus got a hold of Karmyn's shoulders, slowly going all the way inside. His partner's cloaca was warm and slick, with an intriguing texture. It was clenching around him, loosening before hardening again, and whenever Derkeethus was bringing his tip over a certain spot Karmyn would gently moan in delight. He felt a pair of solid arms wrap around his body, and his partner's breath right by his cheek. Encouraged to continue, he tried to pick up a pace, getting to know Karmyn's body even more.

“Does it feel good?”, he asked between two thrusts.

“Yeah...really good.”

Karmyn's hands gently raked down Derkeethus's back, grabbing at his scales with need. Every move, every thrust would make him gasp, moan, or get some similar reaction out of him. He trailed a hand down to the base of his follower's tail, caressing the soft scales around there in a regular motion, while kissing the soft pulse on his neck. He buried his face there, feeling his warmth, listening to his breathing, which was gaining in intensity along his pace. Derkeethus let one of his hands join Karmyn's and tangled their fingers together, before going faster, now used to the feeling. Karmyn gasped a little, his body being taken over by this foreign yet delicious sensation, little by little. His legs wrapped around Derkeethus's waist, bringing him even deeper inside, to rub against his warm sweet spot. They looked at each other, as excitation was rising, and kissed again, sucking on the other's tongue and nibbling their lips, as they tried to go faster again.

  
Karmyn's eyes lidded in pleasure, his breath hitching with every thrust, and his mouth found a way to Derkeethus's scales again, kissing and nibbling along. He's already left a small trail of marks, but this was nothing compared to what Derkeethus had done to him; some of his scales have been bitten off in parts, leaving way to some slight blood. He didn't mind; knowing the extent of Derkeethus's possessiveness, this was even quite hot. He wanted to be marked as his', he wanted everyone to know that man was his lover. He may have fought dragons, demonic creatures and wild beasts, but he wanted to know how it felt to be overpowered. He wanted to feel Derkeethus claiming his superiority over him, even though they were equal; he was a free man, and one who could easily become ruler of Skyrim if he wanted, but right now he wanted to be _owned_. So he tilted his head, leaving his neck open to Derkeethus's bites and markings; and he didn't fail to mark his lover on a large side, barring his blue scales with small dents and nips.  
Meanwhile, they've reached quite a fast pace. With each thrust, Derkeethus was hitting the depths of Karmyn's warmth, rubbing his knot on his squirming walls, moaning all the while. Karmyn's fingers were caressing his horns, going as far as to grab them to get a better hold of him. That didn't hurt, but that felt so good; Derky picked up speed again, thrusting as fast as he could. He was awfully close to release, and looked for signs of unease from his partner. But Karmyn replied to his worries with a smile.

“It's alright… Do it inside, don't worry.”

“Are you sure?”

Karmyn nodded, before gasping again when his lover hit a sensitive area. He bit his lip, eyes closing with pleasure, heat rising again and again. His own cock twitched, thrusting into Derkeethus's hand as he was being fucked with increasing force. His moans reached an octave higher as he felt his orgasm come up; a moment later, he was jolting in pleasure, cumming all over his stomach, gasping for air. Derkeethus kept going, still holding onto his lover, and thrust deeply until his own release arrived. He tried to muffle down a strangled moan, but failed. Some seconds later, he fell next to Karmyn, looking at him eagerly.

“Did that...feel good?”, he asked, a pinch of worry in his voice.

The Dragonborn nodded.

“That felt amazing.”

He kissed his lover's snout.

“But now's my turn to make you feel good.”

He sat up and fetched a stamina potion from his inventory, invited Derkeethus to share its content. Some of the green liquid slipped from their lips as they kissed right after drinking, already feeling ready to go again. They parted from the kiss, looking at each other with pleasured smiles, and nuzzled their snouts. Their tails found their way together again, wrapping around each other tightly.  
Karmyn sat upright, covering his own member with the lubricating ward. He invited Derkeethus onto his lap, kissing him again. His breath was warm on his cheeks, his hands hungrily tracing over his body. Holding Derkeethus by his thighs, Karmyn gently lowered him onto his hardening cock, helping him sliding it inside.

“You're so warm...”

“Sh...shut up, you're warm too.”

Karmyn chuckled, kissing his neck, and started to thrust. Resting on the bed, bucking his hips forward at a slow pace, he was for now getting acquainted with his partner's body. Tentatively, he brushed his knot against a hard spot, and Derkeethus gasped in surprise.

“Do that again...please?”

Karmyn eagerly obeyed, thrusting again, and got another pleasured response from him. His hands felt around Derkeethus's stomach, caressing where he was sensitive and soft, while his lips were grazing over his shoulders. Derkeethus's hands wrapped on top of his', guiding them onto his scales, feeling Karmyn's touch around his body. The Dovahkiin kept thrusting, gently lifting Derkeethus's body along his movements to make them meet right where it was pleasing. He wanted to go slowly, to take his time and not burn any steps. But with a boyfriend so warm and tender and hot, it was quite a hard time.  
Derkeethus laid back into his lover's embrace, enjoying the feeling. He loved this, he loved it so much. He wanted to be Karmyn's partner for all eternity, if it meant being used like this. Being fucked slowly, but with a force and speed that only wanted to increase. Soon his walls would be dripping with his lover's love juices, and he's be marked as his' down to his most intimate depths. He wanted it. He wanted more of this, he wanted Karmyn to get rough and fuck him senselessly, to pin him into the bed and have his way with him. He wanted to feel Karmyn's love, hard and wet, pounding into him with an evergrowing strength, marking him as his property and making him feel _complete..._  
Karmyn ought to have felt his emotions, because he started going a bit faster. His arms wrapped a bit tighter around him, warming him up, rubbing his back onto Karmyn's solid chest muscles. It felt like a cocoon of warmth surrounding him, like a wave of heat gently coursing through his body, accompanying that sweet, rising pleasure in his loins. He closed his eyes, and did his best to take in as much of that feeling as possible, to have it imprinted into his body. As their pace quickened up, he started to pant, shivers coursing through his body.  
Slowly, Karmyn laid him down onto his stomach, fucking him from behind. Derkeethus held onto the bedsheets, grasping them in shaky handfuls, his tongue sticking out from all the pleasure. Karmyn's weight over him was like an anchor to reality, that prevented him from slipping away into pure bliss, and getting lost there maybe forever. The blue Argonian was warm, very warm. This warmth, Derkeethus didn't want to part from it, ever. He wanted it all, he wanted all of it. He wanted Karmyn to be his', and he desperately wanted to be Karmyn's. No matter what he could have thought at some point, no matter what he's felt before; right now, he was madly in love, and wanted the both of them to know it. He wanted their love to last, he wanted them to become more than just a shy couple. He wanted to tell the entire world he was in love, and that the Dragonborn himself belonged to him, and that he belonged to the Dragonborn. He's once been ashamed of his own feelings, had tried to repress them, hide them and take them for what they weren't; but now, his whole mind and body were filled with nothing but _pride_.  
Karmyn likely had sensed this shift in thoughts, as his mouth placed tiny pecks onto his lover's back, shoulders and horns. His tongue was trailing up and down his sensitive areas, his teeth were grazing just enough to peak up his excitation, and his hands were massaging his back muscles just where it was needed. With all of that stimulation, Derkeethus was feeling pretty close to his third orgasm now; but he didn't want to finish before Karmyn. He tried to hold back, instead clenching his walls around Karmyn's ramming shaft, trying to move his ass around. Karmyn answered with a pleased moan, his cock throbbing in his soft insides. He pounded harder, wanting to reach the depths of his lover's warmth, now that he's gotten used to his size.  
Moaning, he held onto Derkeethus's shoulders, pushing himself deeper inside. The green Argonian muffled yet another sound, face buried into the bed, his tail wrapped around Karmyn's waist, pulling him even more into him. Karmyn's hand trailed down to Derkeethus's cock, and stroked gently, to bring him closer to climaxing. The miner gasped, his efforts to hold back now seeming quite vain. Karmyn kissed him in the neck, doing his best to keep up the pace, his own voice lost in pants and moans and bestial groans. His lover's cloaca was so tight for some reason, and that was a bit uncomfortable; so he was doing his best to keep him aroused, and get him to loosen up. But that didn't require much work: with a couple more well-placed touches and some rougher fucking, Derkeethus couldn't hold his clenching, lost as he was in mind-shattering bliss. Satisfied, Karmyn gave it his hardest pounding, ramming into his sweet spot again and again, making Derkeethus scream in pleasure and bringing him to climax. Then it was only a matter of time before his own orgasm came through, making his body jolt and shudder like never before.  
They collapsed together, tangled in a mess of arms and legs, breathing heavily. Their bodies were ridden with heat and reptilian sweat, their scales were covered in bruises and teeth marks, their eyes were half-lidded and hazy with love, and they were smiling like never before. Clearly, this has been quite a great moment for them; yet again this was but a euphemism, seeing the amount of hormones coursing through their veins as they rested in the afterglow. They shared another kiss, this one lazy and slight, before Derkeethus decided to black out. Karmyn smiled, resting his head on his shoulder, pulling a blanket over them. Their first mating night, that wouldn't stay the only one for long. Soon, he gave way to sleep, ready to wake up in the arms of his beloved for another great day.

~~~~~

The water was just the right temperature, caressing his blue scales with a unique softness. The scent of dragon's tongue was floating in the air, relaxing him as he was scrubbing his muscles. This felt like peace.  
Upstairs, Derkeethus was still asleep. He wasn't affected by that damn condition of Companion of Whiterun, which would prevent him from ever having a night of good sleep again. To not feel the weight of solitude, Karmyn had decided to go clean himself from the whereabouts of his night of love. And mostly because a hot tub was much better to drown in thought than a bed with a deeply asleep partner.

“Karmyn?”

And yet, there he was. The Dragonborn chuckled, looking up at his not-so-deeply-asleep-anymore partner. He moved a bit, letting Derkeethus with enough room to get into the tub as well.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah.”

He opened his embrace, and the green Argonian took up the invitation. They rested there for a moment, enjoying the hot water, saying nothing as they took care of each other. There was no need to talk, afterall.  
But after a time, Karmyn felt said need.

“You know...it might be good at some point to stop and discuss about all of this.”

Derkeethus looked at him curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...well. I think we should talk about where we want this to go.”

“I see.”

Derkeethus rested his head onto Karmyn's shoulder, looking at the perfumed volutes of steam rising in the air, condensing on the wall tiles and trickling down the marble surfaces.

“And to be honest...I don't know. I'm fine being as we are, but I know things will be difficult.”

He looked into Karmyn's beautiful blue eyes. Their hands found a way together, as by reflex.

“You've got a mission as Dragonborn. I know you'll need to accomplish it soon. And I know that we'll need to make a choice soon too...but I don't know if it's wise to do it right now.”

Karmyn kissed the base of Derkeethus's horn, right where he liked to be touched. He was smiling, a bit of a sad smile.

“That's why I want us to be happy while we can. That's why...”

His mind went to the amethyst ring, safely hidden in his clothes pile.

“That's why I'll do anything to make you happy.”

Derkeethus smiled, before kissing him again.

“I love you.”

Karmyn smiled. Instead of replying, he leaned into Derkeethus's ear, and whispered something.

“ _Zu'u lokaal hi, ahmuli. Los sahvotei wah hi, fariik ziifahdoni._ ”

Derkeethus looked at him strangely, not quite used to hearing Karmyn speaking full sentences in Dovahzul. But Karmyn simply smiled.

“You'll know what this means soon enough.”

The green Argonian simply smiled back, before kissing him again. But they kept it short; they both were really tired, and wanted to enjoy a warm bath in each other's company more than anything.  
The rest could wait some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Zu'u lokaal hi, ahmuli._ : "I love you, my husband."  
>  _Los sahvotei wah hi, fariik ziifahdoni._ : "I'll be faithful to you, my precious soulmate."  
> Note: I relied on some non-canon words for these translations and had some help from the Legacy translator (but didn't Google translate my way through, don't worry) so these sentences might be inaccurate. 
> 
> Dovahzul's not built as a romantic language and that's a shame because how am I supposed to write flirty Dragonborn now. Oh well, let's just say Karmyn isn't a native speaker and that'll be enough.
> 
> Also, did I tell you how much I was proud of my lizard babies? Cause I am. I very much am. Much proudness. Very fluff. Such cute. So cuddles.


	17. Shriekwind Bastion

The water in which Karmyn was swimming was chilly, but he was long used to it. He didn't mind the cloudy water textures blocking him from seeing some feet in front of him, or even the few slaughterfish roaming the river. He didn't mind the wind on his face when he was rising to the surface, or the current gently leading him astray. He was used to all of this, and while he wasn't fond of cold waters, he wouldn't complain anymore. He's lived years in Skyrim, afterall.  
Taking a deep breath, he rose to the surface, and jumped back onto the rocky shore. Shaking his head to get the water out of his armor, he stretched his arms, and let the sun dry his scales. Sitting on a warmed up rock, he took a moment to admire the nice view of Lake Ilinalta, of the water shimmering under the light, of the forests and ruins all around.  
Even though they were in early Hearthfire, the weather was still warm, as if the sun was giving all it could before resting for the upcoming autumn. Harvest time was over, and a celebration has been held some days ago. Bunnies and foxes were preparing their winter sleep, so would bears and saber cats. The weather was calm enough for now, even though the waters were already chilling. And Karmyn hadn't noticed it until much later, but a year had now passed since he had gone seeking the Greybeards on top of their mountains, and become the Dragonborn.  
Time had gone by, so fast he's barely noticed it. Since Alduin's attack by that fateful day of Last Seed, so many things have changed. In his life, in the world, and within himself. A whole new existence had awaited him from then on, filled with dangers and worries and dread; but then came joy, celebration and kinship. He's killed so many enemies, became a wanted person, but made so many friends and had been risen as a hero. He's left everything behind and ran away from his fate, but rebuilt a new life and chosen his own destiny. He's given up on everything and forgotten who he used to be, but now his memories would only tell he was a good person. He's abandoned all of his past, down to his very name, but the world didn't need to know he's ever been anyone but Karmyn Scaleshield, the Dovahkiin.  
Laying down on the rocks, he looked up at the cloudy blue sky. No dragons, only birds. Some sunlight to gloss over the reddening leaves of trees around the lake. The scent of flowers brought by the weakening wind would sometimes tickle his snout, reminding him of the sweet summer times. He sighed of peace, stretching his arms. Moments of rest like those were becoming even rarer, these days; a chuckling glance at the slain Ancient Dragon laying on the shore was enough to confirm it. Yet Karmyn didn't really mind, as such feats were keeping him entertained. And being entertained was rare enough in itself, nowadays.  
He flipped over on the rock, looking over the lake. Among the few fishes he could spot swimming around in the greenish depths was a much larger figure, whose malachite armor would reflect straying rays of sunlight.  
Karmyn laid there, watching dotingly as Derkeethus caught another salmon, putting it in his inventory before resuming his swim. This lake was a good fishing place, where one could find many useful ingredients for alchemy, or just food for tonight's dinner. Or simply lay on a rock, smiling and at peace, watching an adventurous mate attempt to catch as many fish as he could in one go.  
After a time, Derkeethus rose to the surface, and swam to the shore. He shook his armor dry, and emptied his catch onto a rock, a certain pride in his eyes.

“I think I broke my record again. Look at all I've gotten, this time.”

Karmyn snickered, going down from his rock. 

“That's a nice catch indeed, brother. And it comes just right, because I was starting to feel hungry.”

He cast a teasing glance at Derkeethus, who rolled his eyes. 

“Alright, alright, hungry boy. Do what you have to do.”

While Derkeethus took the smaller fry back to his inventory, Karmyn looked through his spell library. Taking a basic Flame spell, he hovered his hand over the salmons, and started to roast them slowly, cooking them over the flat stone. Derkeethus added in some salt from a pile, as well as herbs he'd always have on him. Karmyn flipped the fish over with his burning fingers, adjusting the force of his spell so it wouldn't scald the meat. Soon, it started to sizzle, and to smell like a tasty meal. And after a small handful of seconds, their dinner was ready.

“ _Naak pruzah!_ ” Karmyn cheered, before they dug in.

They sat together on the grass, eating their slightly crispy food, watching the water creeping a few inches away from their feet. According to some folks, the lakeside was one of the best places to build a house; but Karmyn just didn't have what it took yet. He simply wasn't sure about downloadable content yet, but the right time would come someday. Maybe after he's done with Alduin and all of his duties, then he could do something new. Learn of new regions to explore, new factions to join, or just settle down. He's given up on his past, accepted his present, but had no idea of his future just yet.  
But then, when he would ask himself such questions, he would feel the comforting embrace of his loved one. He would feel Derkeethus's head resting against his shoulder, a curvy horn caressing his cheek. He'd wrap an arm around his shoulders, and bring him closer into comfort. And then, they'd usually fall asleep. That's just how they were, afterall.

“Feeling good?”, he asked Derkeethus, smiling a little.

“Mhm.”

He gazed at the water, watched as it danced onto the grassy shore, crawling forward and eventually falling back into the huge mass of the lake, like a clumsy creature trying to get onto the island, to get to them and be part of their embrace.

“Really tasty.”, the green Argonian commented after a time. “Would have been better with a pinch of garlic, though.”

“Your tail would be better with a pinch of garlic.”

“Oh, shut it.”

But he still chuckled at the comment, snuggling in a little closer. Karmyn didn't add anything, simply relieving their calm embrace. Sometimes, silence would speak a thousand words.  
After a time, Derkeethus stood up, stretching his arms. He was feeling ready to go and swim some more, or at least to do something. Glancing over at Karmyn, the latter ended up standing as well, yawning from his half-rest state. 

“Shall we go?”, the Dragonborn asked, his tail grazing Derkeethus's hand.

The follower nodded, his fingers teasingly wrapping around it for a moment, before they resumed their search for thrill. Karmyn's tail waggled free, still shivering from the touch, before the two dived into the lake and swam to the shore, not without racing like idiots.

“So. Where are you taking us, this time?”

Karmyn looked at his feet for a moment.

“Well, there's Ilinalta's Deep, but we've already been there the other day. How about we simply explore the place?”

“May the Hist guide us.”

Following his instinct, Karmyn led them a bit south, following a forest path. He plucked some flowers along the way, watching the sun go down in the late hours of the afternoon. Days were getting shorter, these times, and it was a bit sad; but if it meant more sleeping time, then where was the problem? 

“There's a tower there.”, Derkeethus noticed. “Think we can go and have a look?”

“Falkreath Watchtower.”, Karmyn replied, the place's name appearing on top of his line of sight with a familiar sound. “I don't see why not.”

They drew their weapons, and advanced into the tower. It was pretty high, but no stairs in Tamriel would ever be hard for them to climb. And as they reached the top, the smell of magic filled the air.

“Derky, watch out!”, Karmyn shouted, before ducking.

A blast of draining magic almost hit them, but Derkeethus raised his shield just in time. Karmyn stood back up, climbing up the last steps to the roof of the tower, where an Arch Necromancer was waiting for them.

“I just love some nice brawling!”, Karmyn exclaimed, grabbing the hilt of his mace, smashing it on the sorcerer's bones.

“And then you'll get blood all over your armor again.”, Derkeethus scoffed, shielding his friend with a ward. 

Karmyn snickered, as his weapon hit flesh once more. The necromancer staggered, but got back up, trying to drain Karmyn's lifeforce with a vampiric spell. It hit him in the arm, and Karmyn almost fell down the stars under the force of the blast, but he managed to stand up and rush forward again, taking a brief moment to gobble down a vigorous Healing potion. The evil mage shot another spell, but the Hist-brothers dodged it by a few. Derkeethus summoned his Frost Atronach, and the colossal ice beast roared as it bludgeoned the enemy. Karmyn poisoned his Ebony sword and moved forward, slicing the air until his blade hit, and the necromancer's body fell lifeless.  
The Argonians stopped their fight, breathing heavily. Karmyn looted the corpse, while Derkeethus spotted a treasure chest, which he emptied of gold. Their scavenging done, they sat in front of the small campfire, resting their fighting spirit. A small break before going back to business.  
Karmyn rubbed his hands together, warming them at the fire. The night weather was a bit cold, and he wasn't against some heat. Derkeethus sat on a stone, watching the nice view from the top of the tower. He could see a large part of the forest from there, as well as the lake. It was pretty gorgeous indeed, so gorgeous that he found himself to be lost in contemplations again.  
After a time of watching, Karmyn joined him, sitting at Derkeethus's side. He didn't say anything, just watching with him, watching the trees dance gently in the wind, the birds flying up in the sky, and the colorful auras barring the stars. He didn't need to say anything, afterall; he's never been much of a talker. After a while, though, his tail started to wag slowly. Why for, he didn't know. But it felt good. And it became even better when he felt the tip of Derkeethus's tail brushing lightly against his own.  
He looked up, brow raised, and saw his follower's thoughtful face, turned towards the view. He smiled to himself, and let their tails wrap together, in a gesture laced with intimacy. He felt Derkeethus smile as well, and that feeling brought him some peace. Why or how, he didn't really know, but he didn't really care. Some part of him didn't even want to know why something as simple as being close to this man was doing such an effect on him. All he knew was, he wanted to let that feeling of peace and calm take over him and erase his worries.  
While it lasted, of course.  
All things would come to an end someday. Karmyn's mission would be over. He'd eventually complete every single quest this world had to offer. Even if his powers of Dragonborn allowed him to live a long life, he'd grow old, to a point where he wouldn't be able to fight anymore. What would happen to him, then? Would he pass down the torch to his children, if he decided to have any? Would he retreat somewhere and die on his own? Would he eventually live with Derkeethus, or would they get their own path? Their feelings wouldn't last forever. No matter how much one was in love, something always gets in the way. Routine, misunderstandings, loss of touch, were as many obstacles that could kill the spark. That's why he was worried, and that's why he didn't know what to do.  
Derkeethus must have felt his mind, for he softly glanced at him with concern.

“Something's bothering you, friend.”

Karmyn shrugged.

“I'm just...wondering. Asking myself some stuff.”

Their tails were wrapped loosely, but were sometimes rubbing against each other with the natural movement of their breathing. Karmyn raised his head, blue eyes meeting green ones.

“Say...do you know what you'll do, once everything is settled?”

Derkeethus tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“After Alduin's dead, and the dragons slain, and everything's done… I mean, as much as I am the Dragonborn, I can't be doing this my whole life, you know?”

He pursed his lips.

“I'm a bit worried about the future, honestly. About what I'll do, where I'll go. What will become of the Dragonborn and his legacy.”

He watched a pine thrush take off its nest in a tree, and disappearing somewhere in the woods in a flap of its wings. He wondered what it'd be like, to be able to fly.

“I'm not sure either.”, Derkeethus replied. “I know I'll be following you for as long as you need me...but if I have no reason to follow you, I don't know what I'll be doing. Before, I could tell myself I'd return home, but now I'm not so sure.”

“To Darkwater Crossing?”

“To Black Marsh.”

Karmyn blinked. Their home province, the place he had to leave for reasons he could easily have avoided. The place he couldn't return to, and that he couldn't really call home anymore.

“What about you, friend?”, the green Argonian asked. “What have you planned to do?”

“To be honest, I'm not sure. I've always thought I'd be the Dragonborn for the rest of my days, and I'd be happy with that. It's always an exciting life.”

“More exciting than mining rocks, at least.”

Karmyn chuckled.

“But now...I don't know. Years are going by, and times are changing. One day will come when people won't need my help anymore. And beyond that line is nothing but questions.”

“Maybe you could return home with me.”

The Dovahkiin looked at his friend, wondering what he meant.

“I didn't have an easy life back in Black Marsh.”, Derkeethus explained. “But we could easily find work to do there. Maybe we could teach magic or stuff like that?”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. We have some money saved up…we could buy a quiet house in the swamps and live together.”

Karmyn couldn't believe his ears. Did...did Derkeethus just offered to settle down with him after their quest is over? _Before he had a chance to do so himself?_

“I know it's a silly idea.”, the follower snickered, unaware of his friend's surprised face. “But we could make it work.”

He turned to Karmyn, and smiled. Their tails brushed again a little closer.

“As long as we're together, right?”

Karmyn had a hard time finding his words after this. He'd never have expected this from Derkeethus; and yet there he was, asking him about settling down and basically living together in their home province. If he weren't so worried about returning to Black Marsh, he'd almost have accepted on the spot.

“I don't know...I grew accustomed to Skyrim. My Jel's all rusty now, and I'm sure me and my awkward body language would often get in trouble.”

“That was just a proposition.”, Derkeethus shrugged. “Skyrim isn't bad either, and you already have a reputation here. We could move somewhere warmer and enjoy the rest of our life.”

Karmyn had to use all of his willpower to not reply with how a 'proposal' would be much better than a 'proposition'. That could wait for later...could it?

“That sounds like a plan.”, he simply said. “Maybe I'll open a shop and sell stuff...or better, you open a bakery.”

“I get it, you like my apple pie.”

They laughed together, and Karmyn could already feel some of his worries lifting off his heart. It felt nice to know Derkeethus wanted to stay with him, even after their relationship of leader and follower ended. It was reassuring, and did him some good, even though he still had many questions.  
The wind was a bit colder now. Slowly, Karmyn scooted closer, and his lover wrapped an arm around his body, bringing him into a light embrace. Karmyn let his head rest on Derkeethus's chest, and they watched the horizon together, without adding anything. They didn't need to.  
Derkeethus's hand trailed through Karmyn's horns, caressing them gently. It was a warm touch, which the Dragonborn liked. It never failed to make him smile, and to remind him of Derkeethus's presence at his side. Longingly, he gazed at the night sky, his head soon resting on his follower's lap. It felt comfortable, even with their armors on.  
They rested like this for a time, simply enjoying each other's company. But then, they started to grow restless. They weren't used to staying put, when there was adventure to be found out there. Karmyn sat up, looking down over the tower; there were some rocks that'd pretty much hurt them, should they fall.

“I don't want to take the stairs.”, he grumbled. “Why can't I fly up like a dragon?”

“Be grateful you can swim but dragons can't.”

Karmyn rolled his eyes, but then had an idea. Opening his Magic menu, he found a Shout which he didn't have much opportunity to use until now.

“Hey, Derky. Want to try something new?”

Derkeethus raised a brow, sitting up as well.

“What do you have in mind?”

“A little experiment called 'going ethereal'.”

They stood up, and he held his companion's hand. While he knew the effects of that Shout, he didn't known whether his plan would work or not.

“I need you to focus.”, he told his friend. “Close your eyes, clean your mind, and whatever you do, don't let go of me.”

Derkeethus nodded, and closed his eyes. Karmyn braced himself, letting his voice come to him. And instead of shouting his Thu'um, he simply spoke the words, loudly enough for them to take effect, but softly enough to not startle his friend.  
His body started to glow, and feel lighter; he had become ethereal, unable to be harmed. But when he opened his eyes, he saw that Derkeethus was now in a similar state; his silhouette was that of a spirit, as if he were but an imprint of himself.

“Ready?”, Karmyn asked, his voiced now tainted with a light echo.

Derkeethus nodded, holding his hand tightly. And together, they jumped off the tower.  
Their fall was short, exciting, yet painless. When their bodies hit the ground, they didn't feel it at all, and ended up without a scratch. They stood up easily, and the effect wore off, as they retrieved some corporeality.

“Where do we head now?”, Karmyn asked.

“Oh, let's follow the path. We'll find something anyway, won't we?”

“I love that way of thinking.”

They held hands as usual as they got off the rocks, and towards a path. Soon, Karmyn's compass picked up a nearby dungeon, and they decided to head there. 

“I didn't know your Thu'ums could affect me.”, Derkeethus noticed after a moment.

“Thu'umme. And yeah, I didn't know either. Who knows, maybe you're sensitive to that kind of magic as well.”

Derkeethus sneered.

“You're really saying _I_ could perform magic stunts like that?”

“Why not?”

Karmyn held his hand a bit tighter, to reassure him.

“Shouting isn't exclusive to a Dragonborn. You can learn it with training and time.”

An idea crossed his mind. A slightly dumb one, but interesting all the same.

“I could teach you a Shout or two.”

Derkeethus seemed startled by these words, looking at Karmyn with his brows raised.

“T...teach me to Shout? I don't know if you know, but I can barely manage to summon a familiar just yet. I really doubt I'd be able to use what's basically the highest level of magic existing.”

“If someone like Ulfric Stormcloak can do it, then I don't see why someone who can, afterall, summon _a damn Frost Atronach_ wouldn't be able to at least make me stagger with his voice.”

He chuckled lightly, kissing Derkeethus's cheek. 

“Know what? When we retire and we have our old days to ourselves, I will teach you how to Shout.”

Derkeethus looked at him, some unknown expression in his eyes.

“You...you'd do that?”

Karmyn nodded, smiling.

“That way you'd be even closer to me.”

Derkeethus blinked, not believing his ears; but he smiled, and wrapped his arms around Karmyn. The latter giggled, kissing his horn, and held his hand.  
They kept walking, fighting whatever random animals and bandits they'd face; it was all too easy for them. They would always win whatever fight they had to face, and nothing could ever stop them. They've grown together, in many ways.  
How much time did they even spend together? It ought to have been several months. They've met in early First Seed...some days before First Planting, if he recalled correctly. That was at least six months, filled with adventures and discoveries. Compared to what they still had to live together, that way puny; but it was real all the same, and he had loved every second spent at Derkeethus's side.  
After a time of distracted wandering, they came across the dungeon. It looked pretty usual from the outside, but Karmyn knew better than to judge a book by its cover. While Derkeethus went to fetch the various loot hidden around the place, Karmyn headed straight for the entrance, readying his weapons. Derkeethus joined him a moment later, and they entered the Shriekwind Bastion together.  
This dungeon was like many others. Skeletons and vampires, everywhere they would look. Nothing out of the ordinary for the two companions, who were used to fighting Draugr and undead, to the dust of these long-abandoned dungeons, to the lack of light and air and the overwhelming moisture reeking of mold and mushroom spores. Such was their life, afterall; and no trap or secret door or skeleton could ever stop them from adventuring in those lost areas, discover hidden treasure and powers, and seek the thrill of fighting and winning over the enemy.

“Are we sure this is the right way?”

“Trust me. I know where we're going.”

This bastion was a labyrinth, with a spiraling path that ascended from a huge room, and where skeleton archers were hidden just enough. Karmyn summoned Seeker to find them, but soon realized no familiar could help him find his way here; for this maze had some kind of aura, some energy that made his spirit pet completely lost.  
That, or its pathfinding was just too confused.

“I don't think we'll get out...have you tried looking this way?”

“Look, I know what I'm doing, alright? We're not lost.”

“I'm just saying...”

Karmyn went back on his steps, worried he had missed an entrance or a corridor somewhere. Behind, Derkeethus was still trying to shoot down the archers on the upper levels of the spiraling path, without much success. The Dragonborn checked his map again, trying to look for the exit, and headed towards one of the rooms, using his Candlelight to brighten up his path. But all he managed to find were more enemies, mushrooms, and a small room filled with at least twenty pairs of boots of all kinds.  
He grabbed a couple, just in case.  
And when they finally managed to find their way, another problem remained: handles and levers. The two of them spent so much precious time over handle switches, trying to see which one would open what door, and in what order they had to pull them to get through this riddle.

“I tell you, first this one, and then the one on the left!”

“I tried and it didn't work! No, we've got to do it twice in a row.”

“That won't work. You'd have to pull that chain over there.”

“I tried and got stuck. Not doing that again.”

“If you could just listen to me, for once…!”

They both were angry at their situation and frustrated at the other's stubbornness, and more than one unnerved grumble echoed in the room that day. Several minutes of arguing later, they managed to go through. Ugh, puzzles like this were the reason Karmyn didn't like to explore much than needed. To think an ancient civilization had spent years building these and filling them with useless mind-boggling puzzle games was just beyond his understanding.

“Hey, watch out where you're walk-!”

Karmyn barely had time to step back, before a flamethrower trap activated, and rays of fire barred their path. He waited for it to stop, but it didn't, even after several seconds.

“Think we can go around it?”

Derkeethus walked forward, trying to fit between the rows of fire, but the blazing heat was too hard for him to handle. Karmyn thought about what they could do, and eventually settled on an idea.

“Hold my hand.”

Derkeethus looked at him with hesitation. There was a large chance that whatever this guy's plan was, it would fail. But Karmyn's look was reassuring him, so he only hesitated for a moment. Holding his friend's hand tightly, he readied his Ethereal shout, and turned their bodies to unreal matter once again.

“Now run!”

Still holding hands, they ran through the blasts of fire, feeling nothing but a warm feeling coursing through their absent bodies. Seconds before the spell wore off, they managed to reach the other side of the hall, catching their breath for a moment, and letting their corporeality come back.

“See, I told you I had good ideas.”

Derkeethus smirked.

“Yeah, I'll concede it for once.”

Karmyn rolled his eyes playfully, and they entered the next room.  
They realized they weren't alone: an enemy was here. And not just any vampire, but a Volkihar Master Vampire, armed with fearsome magic. Karmyn understood it just when he was hit with a spell, a potent vampiric drain that sent him to his knees. He shrieked of pain, his Health bar decreasing way too fast, and tried to get away.

“Oh no you didn't dare!”, Derkeethus hissed, drawing his sword and rushing forward. 

The blade met against undead flesh, spilling a disgusting black blood. Switching its focus from Karmyn to his follower, the vampire hit Derkeethus at point blank with an Ice spell, that almost sent him flying. But the Argonian held on, shielding himself and attacking again. His blade danced in the air, slicing and stabbing the foe's flesh, trying to wound him deep enough.  
Meanwhile, Karmyn was trying to recover. He stood up shaking, gobbling up an entire stack of meat to regain some health. Grabbing his mace, summoning a Fire Atronach, he rushed forward to smash his weapon onto the monster's skull. But he wasn't fast enough, and got hit again. He managed not to stagger this time, quickly switching to an offensive Shout to try to regain control over the situation. Poisoning his weapon, he swung it again, the spikes of his mace piercing through the vampire's dead skin, while Derkeethus's blade was trying to slice its arm off.  
Karmyn's blood was raging with the need to fight, the need to win. He hit again and again, at ease with his weapon despite its weight, desperately wanting to reduce his enemy to shreds. Shout after shout, hit after hit, he was gaining the upper hand, this battle becoming nothing but a mere fight. Derkeethus was there, helping him, his attacks less powerful that Karmyn's but more controlled, his stabs more accurate. The vampire master knew of spells, and fearsome ones they were indeed. But the Dovahkiin wasn't afraid, and kept fighting back, shielding his partner to defend him from the creature's destructive magic. Encouraged by a similar fighting spirit, Derkeethus swung his Glass blade again, despite his low health remaining, slicing through the monster's flesh again, and Karmyn kept bludgeoning it. After a time that seemed endless, the vampire master fell to the ground, and its body crumbled to a pile of ashes, in which Karmyn and Derkeethus fell from exhaustion.  
They laid there for a time, trying to recover from their nasty wounds. They've taken quite a blow, and they yet had to regain the blood they've lost to the ferocious appetite of this boss. 

“You alright…?”

“Yeah. Just a bit shaken.”

Derkeethus managed to sit up, and Karmyn fell into his arms. He's lost a lot of blood during the fight, and was feeling tired. Slowly, Derkeethus ran a hand over his chest, trying to soothe him. He applied a soft healing spell, Karmyn closing his eyes and letting the light magic set in.

“Come on. We have to get up.”

“Not now...I'm good here.”

Derkeethus had gotten better at healing, these times. His spells were warm and comforting, and had this unique feeling to them. Karmyn took Derkeethus's other hand between his', and applied a healing ward as well, turning this quick check-up to a mutual aftercare moment. Derkeethus just rolled his eyes, and went with it. He liked how Karmyn's magic was like a jolt of fire going through his veins, a stream of warmth that would take over his whole body and make him feel much better. It was strong, vivid, and could wake up anyone in a matter of seconds; his own magic was much more hesitant, more controlled, and softer.  
And together, they'd come to a strange harmony, which they both enjoyed very much.

“Come on. We're almost done.”

They stood up, wiping some dust off their clothes. Derkeethus looted the vampire's ashes, and found a nice weapon: a staff of Ice Spikes. He put it in his inventory, to use it later. Karmyn looted the chest, and advanced into the other room. A Draugr woke up to attack them, but compared to their previous foe it was no trouble at all to get rid of it. And most of all, the chorus of a Word Wall echoed, drawing Karmyn closer.  
Derkeethus watched with amusement as his companion read the engraved words and drained the power out of the glowing word, his body surrounded by light. He never got to understand just how it worked; only that it worked, and that was what mattered.

“What is it, this time?”, he asked once Karmyn's feet touched the ground again.

“Let me see...oh, it's Elemental Fury. Mhm, I don't use that one often.”

“There are always occasions.”

He smiled, and held his lover's hand, as they looted the remaining treasure and headed out of the bastion.  
Some moments later, they reached the exit: an overlook on a vantage point, drowned in snow and high enough for the two of them to have a beautiful view of Falkreath just near. A view even better than what they had seen on top of the watchtower.

“It's...”

“Breathtaking.”

They sat together on the edge of the overlook, careful not to fall in the rocks below. It was much higher than the watchtower, and had quite a better view. But it was colder, and there was more wind to chill them.  
Karmyn looked down, watching the little ants that were the people of Falkreath, wondering if they could see the two of them from down there. He watched them come in and out of their houses, talk together, get busy with their daily routine. He'd have loved to be at home right now, in front of a warm fire, eating some nice homecooked meal.

“When we build our house.”, Karmyn said out of the blue. “We gotta have a nice view like this.”

“Since when does the view matter? You barely ever look through the window.”

There were no windows indoors anyway, but Karmyn glossed over this fact.

“I dunno. It just felt nice.”

A moment later, he snickered childishly.

“Also a test to see if you would react to the idea of moving out again.”

“Karmyn, please be serious once in your life.”

“I am serious.”

His hand rested on Derkeethus's lap.

“When we retire, I want to build a house somewhere nice. We'd have a garden, and a butler, and maybe a pond not far.”

“That...doesn't sound bad, to be honest. We'll build it together, right?”

“Of course.”

A stray thought crossed his mind. Slowly caressing Derky's fingers, he kept on going into his domestic fantasies.

“We could have two...no, three stories. A nice bathroom, an armory, maybe even a library. We'd have spare rooms for guests, and a large kitchen, and...why not an alchemy lab?”

“That sounds exciting. But that'll cost quite the septim.”

“Yeah, we'll have to tone it down a bit, of course. But hey, it's a project, so might as well make it crazy while we can.”

He started to trace some blueprints in the fresh snow between them with his finger, drawing the rough outline and plans of a house. He explained his crazy ideas, gave the rooms funny shapes, and kept adding things following his thread of thought. Derkeethus let him do, occasionally making a suggestion or correcting a detail. But as snow wasn't the best to draw on, they switched up to drawing on the blank pages of an old book with charcoal sticks. The wind had calmed down a bit, and by the time it had settled, they've drawn the blueprints of a cute and cozy house by the lakeside.

“It looks correct to me.”, Karmyn commented, satisfied.

“Indeed. Just what a pair of friends need to live the rest of their days together.”

Derkeethus looked up at his friend, brow raised in questioning.

“Are you sure we'll really need all of that space, though?”

“Well, we're never careful enough, are we?”

“True, true.”

A moment later, Derkeethus chuckled. Now it was Karmyn's turn to look at him with wondering.

“What's so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing. Except that I just understood where you were getting.”

“I...wasn't getting anywhere. What do you mean?”

“Don't lie to me, Minny. I know what's going on in your mind.”

He looked at their blueprints some more, and focused on one of the larger rooms. The master bedroom, which was almost taking up all of the second floor. Then, glancing over at Karmyn, he traced a couple walls, forming a smaller room on one side. He changed a couple details, adding some furniture in this new room; mainly a couple small beds.

“There. That way, _they_ 'll have their own space.”

And he handed the book back to Karmyn.  
He didn't say it directly. He didn't need to, not when he had all the silence in the world to convey his thoughts. But the Dragonborn understood the message all the same, and opened wide eyes at his friend. Derkeethus's only reaction was to chuckle lightly, as if there was something endearing to simply tracing some lines on blueprints, and cutting some space away for someone other than them.  
Someone that wasn't there yet, but would one day share their lives and their home. 

“It's just in case...”, Derkeethus quietly muttered, looking away. “I mean, we're never careful enough, are we?”

Karmyn smiled, his eyes brightening up with happiness. He pulled Derkeethus into a tight hug, his arms shielding him from the cold, and buried his face in his partner's neck.

“I love you...”

“I love you too.”

They looked at each other, smiling, and kissed. Their mouths were warm, much warmer than the snow all around them. For the time it lasted, it felt good, like a fire burning up withing them and heating up their shivering bodies. They parted after a moment, nuzzling each other lightly, holding hands. Karmyn held the book against his chest, before putting it away safely.

“We're not retired yet. And we already have a home to go to. I suggest we head somewhere warmer, and get something hot to eat.”

“You're taking my words away, _kashu_.”

“Stop being flirty, _ziifahdon_.”

They laughed together, nuzzling again.

“So. We going?”

“Yep. We going.”

They held hands tightly, and Karmyn breathed in. A muttered Shout later, they were back to that ghostly state they started to get accustomed with, now.  
And a moment later, they were jumping off the overlook, together as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Naak pruzah_ : "Eat well".  
>  _Kashu_ : Jel word for "stands apart". Used here with a meaning of "special one".  
>  _Ziifahdon_ : "Soul friend", soulmate.


	18. Faldar's Tooth

“Come on. I know you can do it.”, Karmyn cheered.

Derkeethus closed his eyes, focused once again. His hand gleamed a faint purple light, as he tried to represent the creature in his mind. He tried to imagine the wolf, as alive and real as he could. He pictured its fur, its ears, its fangs, its paws. And once again, he thrust his arm forward, and attempted the summoning spell.  
A cloud of blue smoke emerged from his palm, throwing itself on the grassy ground. He tried to imagine it taking form, taking life once again. He visualized the wolf once again, alive and healthy and…  
...and the spell failed, once again.

“I can't believe it!”, Derkeethus groaned. “It's at least the hundredth time I try!”

“Not everyone can summon a familiar on the first go.”, Karmyn smiled, patting his friend's shoulder. “But you're making fast progress. I'm proud of you!”

Derkeethus let his cheek be kissed, but he still wasn't convinced. 

“How come _you_ can do it so easily? All you did was read a spellbook you've stolen, and that somehow gave you the power to summon your familiar as easily as you want.”

“Ehhh...it's a long story.”

Green eyes squinted at him in suspicion, before focusing back to the target. A saber cat not far from them, scouring the bushes for small game. Derkeethus had challenged himself to take it down using only Summoning spells, and no staffs. Quite a challenge, for a guy who couldn't even summon a novice-level familiar!  
Yet Karmyn didn't lose faith in his lover. He was as supportive and patient as he could be, taking his time to explain how the spell worked and the inner mechanics of magic; at least those he could understand himself. 

“Each failed attempt is another step towards success. Let it come to you, slowly.”

To demonstrate, he summoned Seeker easily, with little to no effort. The ethereal wolf tried to rush towards the saber cat, but Karmyn dismissed it with a flick of his wrist.

“When you're summoning a creature, familiar or otherwise, you're willing to link your own soul to a dweller of Sovngarde. It takes patience for an animal soul to want to bind itself to you.”

“What kind of soul could ever bind itself to me?”, Derkeethus sneered. 

To that, he was replied with the touch of fingers slowly intertwining with his own.

“Oh, I don't know...”, Karmyn said cheekily. “Mine, for starters?”

That made his follower smile, and their snouts nuzzled together as Derkeethus rolled his eyes.

“I can't summon you into battle, Minny. Don't know if you know.”

“Be reassured that I would love to be summoned by your expert hands.”

He laughed like the little idiot he was, and Derkeethus playfully shoved him back into the grass. But Karmyn made him trip with a whip of his tail, and his companion fell as well, resulting in the two of them ending up in the flowers. They looked at each other, and laughed together, their snouts bumping lightly again; that is, until a roar came to interrupt them. With all this ruckus, they've been noticed by the wild beast; so they stood up in a hurry to draw their weapons. In a matter of seconds, the fight was over, even though the fright remained.

“Well, we'd need to find a new target.”, Karmyn noted, looting the beast's corpse.

Derkeethus sighed, sheathing his sword back.

“How about we call it a day, and instead head where we should have headed?”

They shared a Health potion as they kept walking, on a path just north of Riften. It was the middle of the night, and there weren't much northern lights in the sky, likely because they were in the southern parts of Skyrim. But it's been a while since they visited the Rift, and it was nice to hang around, especially with the Thieves or the folk at the marketplace. Karmyn would never forget his fiends, no matter their whereabouts or backstories; and despite the fact he was a busy guy, he'd always find time for them.  
Although right now, they were there for a reason. Especially Karmyn; he had some personal goal to complete during their visit in town, in the form of meeting with a priest at the temple of Mara. Some of his questions still had to be answered, and many of his doubts had to be reassured. But now he knew he was making the best choice; all he needed now was to find the right time and place to complete his plan.  
Against his chest, the amethyst ring gently pressed in his scales. His romantic nature was waiting for the right time, waiting for the two of them to be ready. Tying two lives together was something big, and needed lots of time and planning; surely Karmyn couldn't just do it right now at this very moment. Not when his partner was still frustrated and somewhat angered at his magic failure. No, if he wanted to do this right, he'd need to cheer him up first.  
Good thing he knew just how to.

“Hey, Derky.”

Derkeethus looked at his companion, a brow raised.

“What?”

“I don't know if you know, but there's a dungeon not too far.”

“And?”

“And I believe you need some good old adventuring to feel better.”

The green Argonian chuckled.

“What makes you say that?”, he asked cheekily.

“I know how you are. Looting and fighting and sneaking in places we shouldn't be never fails to make you feel better. Just what we need to unwind.”

“I'm flattered you know me so well, you who knows everyone. You know me so well that even I didn't think of this solution.”

“What would you do without me, really?”

The only answer he got was an elbow lightly shoved in his arm.

“I get it.”, Karmyn huffed. “You're not ready to trust me with your existence just yet. Well, fear not! I can wait.”

“Good. Then you'll have to wait some more, because I don't feel like leaving my life in your hands.”

To that, Karmyn replied by putting his head on Derkeethus's shoulder, looking up at him with fluttering eyes.

“Even if I ask nicely?”

Derkeethus feigned to think about it really hard. From this angle, Karmyn could see just how adorable his slight, deep-thinking pout was. 

“Well, that depends on whether you take care of it or not.”, he finally said, in the tone of a parent telling their child they could have sweets if they cleaned up their room. “You see, my life happens to be very dear to me, and I want to make sure it's in good hands.”

“Fear not, Hist-brother. I'll make sure you live the best days of your life in my care. I'll take it upon me to make your life the best thing that has ever happened to you.”

“Don't worry. Being alive is already a great feat for me. I don't think that I'd ever do something as hard and long-lasting as this exploit.”

“I don't doubt it.”, Karmyn agreed, kissing him on the cheek.

The walk to the fort wasn't far. Soon, the dark silhouette of a towering mass appeared in the landscape, and Karmyn's compass warned him of enemies right near. Drawing his mace, he sent forward Seeker to find them-  
-and got hit by an arrow, right in the arm.

“Xhuth, they're bringing in archers!”, he grunted, trying to stand back up. 

Derkeethus hissed, and took his bow, aiming at the bandits hidden behind the rampart walls. He shot some arrows in the dark, trying to aim correctly while being assaulted, and resorted to hide behind a nearby tree to get a better defense. Meanwhile, Karmyn held his weapon tightly, and dashed forward, assaulting the bandits coming to them. He heard the metal clanking of a door, and suddenly the black mass of a wolf rushed to him. He quickly killed it, trying to focus on the bandit that he was currently busy with; but another wolf came right behind him, and bit his leg. Swinging his mace around him blindly, he tried to get rid of his adversaries, hitting without even knowing what he was looking at. Luckily, he felt the attacks stop after a time, and quickly looted the corpses before continuing his assault. Not far behind, Derkeethus managed to strike down the enemy archer, and snuck up to Karmyn's level. They quickly ate some cheese to recover their lost health, and progressed into Faldar's Tooth.

“They seem to have pet wolves. Be careful.”

“I'll be careful if you are.”

There were less bandits inside already. But what the two Argonians found there was more interesting in nature: rows and rows of cages. Some contained dead dogs, whose corpses looking like they've been savagely bitten to death. And some held wolves, that started at the two with their barren teeth and hungry eyes.

“Not a pretty sight...”, Derkeethus commented, wondering what could have happened here. 

“That's where we're different, _ziifahdoni_. Where you see not pretty sights, I see opportunities.”

Taking out a couple lockpicks from his pockets, he set to open the gate to one of the cages. Easy task for him; once the door open, the beast in the cage growled and rushed towards the Dragonborn; but Derkeethus's Atronach killed it quickly.

“Come on. Practice your Lockpicking with me?”

Derkeethus rolled his eyes, watching him get to the next cell and start picking the lock. But drawn in by mimetism, he didn't pass on this free occasion to train his skills. Not like there weren't many, many locks to pick in this wolf holding area.  
Once they were done, though, Derkeethus heard the familiar sound of magic. Looking around, he saw Karmyn playing his magic over the corpse of the wolf they've just killed. A moment later, the beast stood back up, gleaming in a blue coating of summoning magic.

“Necromancy, now?”, Derkeethus sighed.

“Why not? I've always wanted a pet.”

The undead wolf walked at Karmyn's side as they progressed into the fort, and even dashed at an enemy bandit. But it didn't last long, and soon the canine got struck down to a pile of glowing ashes. Even though he knew the outcome, Karmyn still frowned at the creature's fate.

“Why that face?”, his follower asked with a bit of annoyance in his voice. “Don't tell me you wanted to keep it forever?”

“I wouldn't have minded.”, the Dragonborn shrugged.

Luckily for him, this place was filled to the brim with wolves and dead dogs. He resurrected one, that yipped happily at his side. This time, Karmyn gave it a scratch under the chin, before sending it into the next room, targeting their foes.  
Their progression was rather regular. Loot, enemies, adventure, grinding. The same routine they've developed over time, yet always with new excitation and surprises. Each dungeon had its perks, its secrets, its mysteries; and Karmyn was determined to find them all. Adventure was his life, exploration was his job, and fighting was what he was built for.  
When he fought, he wouldn't think about anything else. His mind would be focused on only one goal: winning, no matter the cost. He was the Dovahkiin, the hero whose sword was to bring justice to all of Skyrim and free her people from Alduin and all the other threats that would come her way. He had a mission to complete, and he wouldn't fail it.  
Although no one had ever told him this mission had to be completed right away. Even heroes could take some time off and explore forts, after all…

“Why is there so much dog meat here?”

“Oh, it's explained in that journal.”, Karmyn shrugged, simply picking it up. “It's called environmental storytelling.”

“Storytell...what?”

Karmyn chuckled at the question, as if he was the only one to know the answer.  
There were a lot of things in this world only he could know. That was his gift as Dragonborn, after all. And he took pride in not revealing anything of it to anyone; if he did, who would ever believe him, anyway?

“I'll tell you one day.”, was all he said.

Derkeethus groaned in annoyance. Karmyn was always acting aloof and strange when asked about those weird topics he'd always bring up. There was a huge cloud of mystery surrounding the exact amount of what he'd define as “his powers of Dovahkiin”, a mystery Derkeethus never got around to completely discover. Even in all the time they've spent together, there were many things he couldn't wrap his mind around.  
As they progressed deeper inside the fort, fighting wolves and making them into allies with a spell or a Shout, Derkeethus couldn't help thinking more about Karmyn's weirdness. He was wondering how he could do all of these feats, these unexplained things even magic couldn't answer to.  
How they could go from one point to another at increased speed. How Karmyn could suddenly know things he didn't know about simply by breaking into a short trance. How he could bend space at will to store his amazingly huge inventory of items. How sometimes it felt as if he just _knew_ what was to happen, as if he's already been there.  
And most of all, how in all of Tamriel he could just feel so _different_ from everyone else.  
There was something odd about Karmyn. Something Derkeethus could have dismissed as magical shenanigans; which he did, for a long time. Something no one could ever put a finger on, not even those who were the closest to him. Now that Derkeethus thought about it, did Karmyn have _anyone_ he has ever been close to? All the people he knew had friends, a family, a place where they found their roots. Himself could remember his own past, the path he's taken and the life he's lived. But Karmyn just...didn't. It's like he appeared out of nowhere, without a past, without a story to tell.  
As if he's never even existed before the Helgen events one year ago.  
Soon they found their way out of the fort, into the morning air. There were some enemies, that got taken care of in no time. Karmyn headed straight for the spots where he knew he could find treasure, while Derkeethus stayed behind to take care of upcoming foes. They didn't need any words to convey their usual strategy; habit of going through dozens and dozens of dungeons had built their plans long in advance. 

“The boss's chamber is up the tower.” Karmyn told, grabbing a key on a table. “Come on, we just need to climb there and we're done.”

“Given we even find the way.”

“Stop it with the bitterness, love. We did a good job so far, didn't we?”

Derkeethus shrugged, but followed him nonetheless. If only to feel the relief of having cleared a place and being done with it once and for all.  
The bandit leader was tough and fearsome, but like all his minions, he got taken down quite easily despite the hardships of their fight. Karmyn looted his corpse of valuables, and climbed up to the bedroom built on top of the tower, to grab what he could. Meanwhile, Derkeethus sat on the bed to rest his legs, weary from all the stair-climbing they've gotten today.

“Another mission well completed, my friend.”, Karmyn said, pulling out a large coin pouch from a chest. “We even have time for another one.”

“Maybe...I don't really feel up to it right now.”

Karmyn sat next to his partner, and stretched his arms before letting himself fall back across the furs of the bed.

“It's okay. We can take some rest. I need to know where we can go next...”

Derkeethus said nothing, looking off somewhere in the horizon.  
This tower had a pretty nice view indeed, and it had the advantage of not being drowned in snow. The weather was warm for the season, and the sun was out. It was a warm day of Hearthfire, especially for the Rift and its southern climate. What a nice day to lay outside and do nothing...pretty much what they were doing just now. Shrugging internally, Derkeethus laid back on the bed, looking at the stone ceiling as if it could somehow entertain him.  
Neither of them said anything, as they just laid there, on a formerly owned bed, watching specks of dust float and sparkle in a beam of sunlight filtering through a crack in the wall. From out there, the sound of the wind in the branches of nearby trees, the cry of a bird taking off, the far echo of a dragon's roar were the only sounds that would save them from unending silence. For some reason, Derkeethus didn't feel like saying anything, as of he was afraid that breaking the silence would also break their peace, beyond repair. So he still said nothing, and attempted to rest. But somewhy, he couldn't close his eyes.  
He slowly turned his head to Karmyn, but his companion had fallen once again in his trance-like state. His sleep void of dreams, of movement, almost void of breathing. A sleep that could last from a couple minutes to long, lonely hours of solitude.  
Derkeethus looked back up, and stared at a patch of moss taking root on an upper stone in the wall. He said nothing, simply embracing the silence of this moment. A silence that could have been meaningful and intimate, like many moments they've shared before; but for now, something was troubling the peace of this quiet scene. Derkeethus's thoughts were running, like an endless stream that wouldn't stop or slow down. He was lost deep in his reflexions, and his mind was heavy with questions. He glanced at his companion once again, hoping to get a response; but all he could get was the same blank expression than earlier. He knew Karmyn would suddenly sit up any moment now, and start exposing some plan or talk about a far-off place they needed to visit. He's always found it pretty funny, especially the way he could switch all the way from blank and dead to over-thinking and excited in no time. He's teased him many times about it, always with a cheeky grin, and it was some sort of private joke between them. But now, for some reason, he didn't feel like doing so.  
Slowly, his hand trailed to Karmyn's, and held it gently. His pulse was slow, almost nonexistent. Sometimes, he feared it could stop for good, even though he knew this fear wasn't rational. But he was still worried; who knew what Karmyn could do? Who knew if all this mystery clouding him couldn't suffocate him somehow? Who knew whether Derkeethus would have to lose him for good, when he's barely gotten used to his comforting presence?  
His fingers tightened a little, as he eyed the blue Argonian's face, hoping for an answer. But there was none, just as he could have expected. He sighed, somewhat annoyed and somewhat saddened. He didn't understand why, but he knew there was something in their current situation that bothered him. Something he wanted to get out of the way, some obstacle he didn't see before, and could only feel in the dark. 

“I want to understand you.”, he whispered.

But no response came. Sighing again, letting his fingers lazily trace shapes in Karmyn's palm, he looked back at some random stone, staring at the large crack it bore across its surface.  
He loved this man. He really did. So why was he feeling such uncertainty? Why was he doubting Karmyn, doubting him out of the blue, as if he's only now started to realize how many things were worth being put in question about this strange fellow?

“I wish I knew what you went through.”

He was feeling strange. He was alive and well, next to the man he loved, and yet he wasn't happy. He didn't knew why, and couldn't think of how to explain it. So he gave up before even starting, and kept staring at the wall. He tried to think, tried to understand what he was feeling. But he failed, and that only frustrated him even more.  
As he thought, however, he realized that beyond his attitude and actions, he couldn't get a firm grasp of Karmyn's character. Ridden with anxiety, he tried to recall everything he knew about him. But for some odd reason, he didn't manage to. All he could think of was his secretive attitude, the ways he'd always change subjects when reaching some obscure topics, and the fact he simply appeared out of nowhere.  
No past, no history, no ties to anything. It's like Karmyn didn't exist at all, and his life had started with his imprisonment at Helgen. But beyond that point was nothing at all; and for some reason, it made him weary, nervous, and somehow afraid.

“I don't even know who you are.”

He was starting to grow tired of staring at the void, so he closed his eyes. His hand gestures were getting nervous, frustrated.  
He tried to understand just what kind of person Karmyn was. The more he thought, the more he started to doubt. His anxious thoughts were lying to him, he knew it; but somehow, they seemed convincing enough to slowly take over his mind.  
Now that he thought about it, why would Karmyn never tell him any of his past? He could understand that some people were secretive about origins they weren't proud of, or had nothing interesting to tell. But not the Dragonborn. Whatever Karmyn's story was, it had to be something worth listening to.  
So why did he never share it? Why did he never give Derkeethus as little as a glimpse of his past? Why did Karmyn have to make him feel like he somehow wasn't worth knowing?

“You trust me, yet you never tell me anything.”

Why was his throat hurting? Why were his eyes stinging? Why were his paranoid thoughts rushing one after the other in his head? 

“How...how can I be sure you _really_ trust me, anyway?”

He felt tears trickle down the sides of his head, and he opened his eyes. His sight was blurry, and the lump in his throat was aching. And worst of all, his anxiety was rising again.

“Why…why can't I just know who you are?”

His grip tightened, squeezing Karmyn's limp fingers in his own. His dark thoughts came on and on, never stopping, until the intrusive voices in his head started to whisper much deeper worries. 

“How can I be sure you love me…?”

He sobbed silently, not moving, barely doing anything to wipe out his wet eyes. He couldn't believe he's just said something like this, something horrible and distrustful of the man that has been his partner for more than a half-year already. Someone he was supposed to love and care for, but for some reason couldn't give his full trust to.  
Someone he just realized he barely knew, and would maybe never know.

“I don't know. How can you?”

The sudden voice startled Derkeethus, who hastily sat up. Looking at him with some unclear expression were two blue eyes, conscious and awake.  
His voice didn't sound happy either.

“...how much did you hear?”

“Enough to understand.”

Karmyn sat up as well. His cheerful expression from earlier was gone, replaced with the hint of a frown. Was he sad, or angry? Or something of both? He sure didn't look happy, and he had good reasons to. Yet it looked as if he tried to remain controlled and calm, like a dark cloud holding back the storm it concealed.

“Look. You don't need to press me for details I'm not ready to give yet. You'll hear it soon enough.”

His tone wasn't cold, but definitely not warm. And just by hearing it, Derkeethus knew he had made a mistake by carelessly exposing his feelings.

“I'm sorry...I didn't mean to.”

Although...why did _he_ have to apologize? Why did _he_ have to bow down and accept the fact he's dating a guy he knew nothing about? Why did he have to be at fault here, when Karmyn was clearly toying with his feelings!?

“You know what? I'm not sorry.”

The defiance in his tone made Karmyn look back at him, brows knit together.

“What?”

“You got that perfectly. I said I’m not sorry.”

Karmyn blinked, his confused eyes meeting Derkeethus's glare, where sorrow was slowly being replaced with growing frustration. The frustration of a man who was tired of being kept on his hunger for truth.

“I don't know who you are. I don't know what's your deal, and what's with all the mystery you keep around you like your life depends on it. Why, are your Dragonborn powers the kind you'll lose if you ever explain?”

“It's not that...”

“No? Then tell me!”

That sudden thrust of anger achieved to raise Karmyn's confused suspicion, as he looked at his friend with darker eyes.

“Why would you need to know? It won't change anything.”

“Of course it will!”

His voice was a low, deep mutter he tried to keep under control. If he backed down now, he could still apologize and they'd talk it out as usual...like they've always done…

“Would it kill you to just tell me where you get all of that from? Where _you_ came from?”

“No, but that doesn't mean I want to! Mind, it's not something I want to share-”

“Like everything about you, as usual.”

Karmyn raised shocked brow at this uncalled bitterness, his emotions gaining over his reason with every word spoken.

“Why do you keep being so persistent about it? What difference does it make whether you know how my power works or not?”

“Because this isn't your power I'm talking about! I'm talking about you!!”

Derkeethus's eyes became blurry again, and his throat ached so much he thought he wouldn't be able to speak correctly. But he stared at Karmyn angrily, and kept spitting out his venom.

“You keep acting as if your whole identity was a mystery, like having no past makes you look like some godly hero figure! You're so deep in your act, you never even bothered to tell me anything about you, about the _real_ you! I've told you all about my life and my stories, but I don't even know yours! It's like...”

He blinked his tears off, looking away from the face he couldn't bear to see. He felt angry, ashamed, sad and bitter; but most of all, he felt miserable.

“It's like you don't trust me enough to tell me who the Dragonborn really is. It's like...I'm nothing to you.”

Even after this sudden spurt of anger, Karmyn still didn't move. His glare didn't change, his face didn't convey any other emotion. He was still silent, awfully silent, and this silence was filled with poison.  
But then, his words broke this silence, and they dug like daggers through flesh.

“I thought I could trust you.”

He stood up from the bed in a dash, hastily gathering his weapons. As if he was about to leave.

“I thought you wouldn't be one to care about that. I thought you wouldn't need to know who I used to be. I thought...I thought you'd be ready to love me, regardless of who I was once.”

He looked back at Derkeethus, and his glare was ice cold. He was on the verge of crying, and very bad at hiding it.

“But I thought wrong.”

And he left, without adding anything else.  
Derkeethus couldn't believe what just happened. His anger kept boiling, filling his mind with the frustration of being left here, with the horrible feeling of having been used like a tool. He was angry, fulminating with fiery feelings he's never known before. Feelings stronger than the heat of battle, than the bloodrush of killing, than the most passionate hatred he's ever felt in his life.  
So why was he crying? Why were tears streaming down his face, cascading like he was but a miserable wimp? Why couldn't he get up, run after him and tell outright what he thought? _What was this feeling of growing frustration inside of him, and why couldn't it just leave him alone!?_  
He didn't know. All he knew was the pain in his chest, and the cold feeling of tears down his face.  
As he cried, his anger faded into something quieter, and he realized what had just happened. Remorse started to grow in his gut, his head aching as he kept crying, his hurt voice sobbing without a care in the world. Never in his life had he felt so miserable, so helpless, so frustrated. It's like he couldn't do anything to fix the situation he put himself in, and was left to suffer the consequences like a pitiful idiot.  
So he fell back on the bed, and cried his helplessness away.

~~~~~ 

He didn't know where he was. He had fast-traveled to the first location he could have thought of. He ought to be pretty far, for night was out already. He didn't care about that, anyway, as long as he was away from that snake.  
Never in his life had he felt this hurt. Abandoned. Derkeethus's words had hit him like a dagger in the back; and on the moment, he couldn't feel anything other than _betrayed_.  
He kept walking in the snowy streets, barely looking where he was going. A Vigilante of Stendarr came to him to inquire about his odd behavior; he slaughtered them without a care, leaving their corpse to rot in the bushes. His tears felt like razors on his face, and he brushed them away negligently.  
He walked, faster, soon came to run, then to sprint. He coursed across the roads, over bridges, away from enemies; he ran and ran until his Stamina gave up, and he was forced to stop by his pounding heart and tired legs. His chest was beating strongly, pulsing against the draconic leather of his armor.  
And in-between was something hard and warm, in the shape of a ring.  
His thoughts went to Derkeethus, and how he could have done this to him. How he had accused him of sealing away things he wished could just disappear, how he wouldn't be able to love Karmyn until he knew absolutely everything, down to these events the Dragonborn wanted to eradicate from the surface of Mundus, how _betrayed he had felt..._  
Enraged by these intrusive thoughts, Karmyn shrieked in rage, and dug his hand into his chestplate to retrieve the damn ring. All he wanted was to throw it away, into the river, and forget all about ever wanting to tie their lives together.  
But instead of metal, his fingers grazed something else.  
Something like leather. Something round, small and fat. He blinked, wondering for a good second what it could be, before remembering. His thoughts became gloomy again, as his fingers slowly curled around the object. Without a noise, he pulled it out, examining under the pale moonlight what looked like a small pouch. Gently pulling on its string, he opened it, revealing a handful of purple, gleaming seeds.

“I almost forgot about you guys.”, he sighed in a defeated tone.

He sat down on a rock, saying nothing. Just staring at the dry seeds in his palm.  
They looked like almonds or flat chestnuts, and their slightly rough shell was very hard. They were warm to the touch, and coated in some glowing dust that made them easy to recognize at first sight. They weren't heavy, and yet they carried a lot on them.  
These damn seeds. What horrors did he cross through to get them? What was he promised in exchange for them? How had he thought stealing them would grant him anything other than problems?  
It's because of these seeds that he became who he was today. But it wasn't a good feat. These rare, stupid seeds have brought way too much devastation in his past. They shaped his life and made him take the runaway path, changing his existence forever. And Karmyn always knew that if he ever had the chance to change the past and erase what they did to him, he would do it without a second thought.

“You guys made me come a long way...but I'll never thank you for that.”

He tightened the pouch closed, and tied it back around his neck. They couldn't be safe anywhere else. For years he's had paranoid thoughts about those cursed jewels; if they were to be stolen, lost or damaged, he wouldn't ever bear it.  
Nobody but himself knew. Nobody but himself ever had to know. As much as he trusted Derkeethus, this was the one point he could never tell him. He could explain his powers, his secrets, down to the very last bit of memory about his past, if that's what his lover wanted...but these seeds were his secret. If his fellow Hist-brother were to know about them, their relationship would be damaged beyond repair.  
After all, it would be logic for Derkeethus to hate him, if he ever knew that Karmyn carried with him the elusive seeds of the Hist.

“I can't tell him. Not now, not ever.”

But how could he explain? Derkeethus was possessive, and awfully stubborn. If he knew Karmyn had a secret, he would want to know more. He'd try and try again until he would discover it, and they would never be able to look each other in the eye ever again.  
He tried to think of what to do now. He felt guilty, very guilty about what he's said. He could have explained the situation calmly, but he let his emotions get to his head. And now it was too late...unless?  
He wiped his tears away a last time, and got up. Checking his map, he fast-traveled to Faldar's Tooth, hoping it wasn't too late. Using the key to the fort as a fast-pass, he ran to the top of the tower, hoping to find his friend; but Derkeethus was gone.  
Leaving him all alone.  
His heart started to beat even faster, cold shivers running down his spine. He was growing afraid, exposed for the first time to the threat of abandonment. A threat that made dark thoughts rise in his mind like never before. Trying to put himself back together, he quickly moved to Windhelm, running back to Hjerim. His breathing was hitched, his thoughts speeding, his heart beating so fast it could explode right out of his chest. He started crying again, the snowy wind freezing his tears right on his scales. Still in shock, he rushed back home, closing the door behind. The house was warm, just as he's let it before they went on their mission. But it felt way too empty.

“Derkeethus…?”, he called tentatively. “Are you there?”

He looked around the house, calling in a weak voice. He wasn't in the kitchen or in the lab. He wasn't in any of the bedrooms. He wasn't outside either.  
He was nowhere to be found.  
Still shivering, Karmyn sat on his bed, face buried in his palms. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to deal with this. Where was Derkeethus? Was he lost forever? Did he got hurt on his way here? So many scenarios started to run through his head, and he couldn't chase them away. So he didn't even try, and let his tears run.  
He fucked up. He fucked up like never before, and now he had to pay the price. And most of all, he realized that even when he was most wounded in battle, he's never felt such a pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you can spot the moment I got bored with classical dungeon adventure and just went "fuck it, let's start some plot".
> 
> Also, with finals coming up, I won't be able to work on next chapter until mid-May. It'll try to keep up with illustrating.


	19. Dawnstar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exam period didn't exactly start yet, so enjoy this shorter chapter while I can still write.

“If you see him, give him my regards, will ya?”

“Thanks, Sondas. And don't worry, I will.”

A last concerned glance, and the Dunmer greeted Karmyn goodbye, returning to his smeltering work, and leaving the Dragonborn with his thoughts.  
So Derkeethus wasn't in Darkwater Crossing either. It's where Karmyn would have expected him to be, after a separation. But yet he was missing, and none of his friends have seen him in the last few days. While at first Karmyn could have felt happy to be part from such a bothersome ally, a couple days of reflexion and loneliness have been enough to push him to search.  
Karmyn fast-traveled to Solitude, hoping maybe his friend would have decided to rest in one of his properties across Skyrim. It wasn't uncommon for them to spend a night at Breezehome when they were passing in Whiterun, sometimes at their expensive house in Solitude as well. Yet it didn't take long for Karmyn to see that his companion wasn't in Proudspire Manor either.  
He was starting to lose hope. For three days, he's been staying alone at Hjerim, barely going out or doing anything. He didn't know why, but he hadn't felt like doing any quests or exploring dungeons or even fight dragons. Even when he had found good occasions, he didn't jump on them like he used to. And worst was, he didn't even know why.  
Sitting on the porch of Proudspire Manor, he tried to think. Where could Derkeethus be, if not with him? Did he have a favorite place to go, other than home? Friends, that he could have gone to see? Some activity he'd enjoy doing?  
Well...there was Lake Ilinata, where swimming was always very fun. Oh, and Karth River, where they'd often go to fish. As for people, he knew Derkeethus was best friends with the workers at the Windhelm docks, and the Companions were in good terms with him and his sassy humor. If Derkeethus had to be somewhere, it'd likely be with people; that guy was always in need of acknowledgment. Who could blame him? Karmyn himself had spent the day right after their fight weeping and venting his frustration on Elda Early-Dawn's counter at Candlehearth Hall, drowning his anger in mead until only worry remained.  
And then he wept some more, and locked himself at home for some days until his worries became too much to bear.  
Now there he was, going to places they've gone to, talking to people they've met and were friends with, trying to find the one he needed to find. He walked outside of Solitude, getting onto Shadowmere, and headed down the slope, onto the roads, following the path.  
It felt very weird. For almost all of his life as Dragonborn, he's had someone to accompany him wherever he went; may it be Lydia, some mercenary he'd hire for fun, or some Argonian miner he'd rescue from a dungeon trap and grow a tight bond with and start planning a life with. But now, he was alone; his horse was the only one whose gallop was heard, his passing comments about trivial things weren't answered by any remark. He didn't have anyone to challenge to a race to the bridge, or to who'd get off his horse faster. No one to joke about the cold with, no one to help him fight off stray Frost Trolls and Ice Wraiths. When he stopped at a crossroads near Dragon Bridge to let his steed rest, he pulled out two portions of food from his inventory, driven by habit, before realizing sharing would be useless. His meal was awfully quiet, even when he tried to stall in the silence with snarky comments or random thoughts.  
He's never noticed just how used he's gotten to all of these little things. How he thought some things would always remain no matter what, always stay in his life. And just how it hurt when they were taken away from him.  
That stone he was sitting on was comfortable, despite the chilly wind. He stayed here a moment, watching the sun set in the middle of the afternoon, wondering what he could do. Where could he look next? Did he already go to...yes, nevermind. Maybe the Sleeping Tree? He didn't know why Derkeethus would be there, but…  
He sighed, pausing his thought process, burying his face in his hands. Why bother looking for someone who obviously didn't want to be found? If Derkeethus wanted to come back, he'd have done it days ago. Yet that didn't happen, and that only meant one thing: he didn't want to. Of course, more gruesome outcomes were to consider: maybe he could be dead, or dying, left to die in some crevice and robbed of his inventory...but Karmyn was confident. Derkeethus was a trained fighter, and he still had his armor and weapons and stuff when he left. He wouldn't be taken advantage of by mere robbers or wild beasts; for the rest, he wasn't one to willingly put himself in trouble. And if he were to get trapped in a dungeon again, Karmyn had taught him all the things he needed to know to get out quickly.  
Even though he chose to be optimistic, Karmyn still wasn't entirely reassured. It was too odd for him to not have received a courier with an official 'farewell' message yet. Was Derkeethus even the kind to do that? Maybe he needed a bit more time to recover...or maybe he's sent a message, but Karmyn didn't receive it since he's been moving all around Skyrim for a while now.  
Maybe he could...stop searching, and let things happen? If only to stay in one place. Maybe he could take some time for himself, and get some intimacy? Train on his own, even focus on his main objective. He still had a dragon to trap, afterall, and a World-Eater to slay. He's left that aside for a time, it seemed; but now, he could get into really dangerous battles without fearing his follower gets wounded or killed.  
The path of the Dragonborn is one he'd have to walk alone, he once told himself. When he would be face-to-face with Alduin, there wouldn't be anyone to help him. This mission was too dangerous for mortals, and that's why he's been chosen.

“Chosen...heh.”, he snickered to himself. “As if I really was the chosen one or anything.”

Well, that wasn't entirely false. Since he came to Skyrim and revealed his power, everyone's treated him like he was some sort of ultimate judge over everything and everyone. Some neutrality to turn to, some powerful ally that had a great influence over everything; whether he was loved or hated, helped or feared, the Dragonborn was respected wherever he'd go. And if only for that, the job didn't seem half-bad. Who hadn't ever dreamed of being a respected, sometimes worshipped figure of history?  
...well, it had a lot of downsides too. When some supernatural trouble were to arise, he'd usually be the first suspect. A lot of people were blaming him for all sorts of things, or at least expected him to solve their personal problems. And of course, there'd always be someone in the crowd to take advantage of his kind nature. And all of this was without taking his massive body count into account; he did kill many people, and hurt many families across Skyrim because of stupid reasons. But he's had to take sides in a conflict he didn't care about, and chose his path. No regrets for the past, now.  
As he ate some bread, he noticed he still had a lot of dog meat in his inventory. They've found entire piles of the stuff at Faldar's Tooth; yet it couldn't be cooked into anything useful, and to be honest Karmyn wasn't very fond of that kind of meat. But maybe it had useful properties?  
He laid back on the stone, looked at the sky. Then closed his eyes, and felt his mind disconnect from reality.  
Be right back.

~~~~~ 

Back.  
Around him, some time has passed. But nothing has changed much. And most of all, he knew the answer to his questions.  
Dog meat could be used to summon Dremora at the Midden's Atronach Forge. Dremora dropped Dremora Hearts, very rare ingredients for alchemy. Dremora hearts were, along with ebony, the main ingredient in crafting Daedric Armor. Daedric Armor was the best armor in the heavy category, which means that he could benefit from it and gain a lot of levels in Heavy Armor. And, he'd look extremely cool in demonic black.  
Well, that was something he could do. He got up in no time, gathered his stuff, and rode Shadowmere down the path to Winterhold.  
He didn't know what kind of power it was. But sometimes, he'd just fall unconscious and not know of his surroundings anymore, as if his mind was wandering away; but then he'd come back, and always know what to to do and where to go. He'd learn useful information about certain topics, that he didn't know before. As if his conscious was temporarily going away to consult some sort of immaterial compendium of Tamrielic knowledge.  
That and the summoning of that shadowy figure were maybe the weirdest of his powers, if he had to name any. But who said he was one to complain? Things like that happened all the time to people...probably. Not like he knew everyone's personal life. Maybe summoning ghostly figures was a common thing? People couldn't see his', so it was logical he couldn't see theirs. That was one explanation he's found...but xhuth, how could he explain something like that? His powers were so weird, even he couldn't understand them. Yet he's tried, and many times! But in the end, all he could do was accept he had abilities others didn't have, and try to make the best of them...no matter how strange they were. Maybe he could use that alone time to think and do some introspection as well.  
...damn. He was taking it rather well, it seemed. Maybe all that crying _did_ help clear his thoughts. It wasn't a bad thing; he couldn't keep weeping until Derkeethus chose to come back. He had goals to pursue, quests to complete and many people to save. And while he was still hurt from the events of his love life, he had to keep his mind onto his objective.  
So he kept on. Even as night descended, he didn't stop. Why wasn't he fast-travelling? He didn't know. Maybe he wanted to get a better feel of these gorgeous sights. Or feel the thrill of getting lost; maybe even both, and so many other reasons. He didn't think of it as wasted time, anyway. All travels had a goal, and all goals needed a journey.  
He passed through Dragon Bridge on his way to Winterhold, taking his time to admire the gorgeous architecture of the eponymous dragon-adorned bridge. What a unique sight, truly. It almost made him stop entirely on his path, so he could lean over it and watch the waterfall beneath him. He'd have stayed hours there, watching it fall with such grace. But alas, he had things to do.

“Maybe another day.”, he promised himself.

He kept trotting, not bothered by the lack of light on the path. He could even see a fox that ran away from him. Feeling playful, Karmyn set Shadowmere to chase it, and tried to catch it with his hand. But the canine got away just in time, leaving Karmyn to his amused disappointment.

“Oh well.”, he shrugged, chuckling.

He kept going, and after a time saw another animal on the path. It looked like a wolf, so he readied his sword just in case; but when he came closer, he noticed it wasn't attacking him. It was laying on the side of the road, watching him trot by. And upon closer inspection, one could see it wasn't a wolf, but a dog.  
Karmyn stopped Shadowmere in her tracks.

“What's a dog doing there?”, he asked himself, going off his horse. “Hey bud. You got lost?”

The dog looked at him, and barked, wagging its tail. Then, it started to run into the trees.

“Hey, wait for me!”

Karmyn chased after the creature, and soon came to see what looked like a small shack. The dog entered in, followed by Karmyn soon after.  
The inside was a bit messy, like it hadn't been cared for in days. And upon seeing the body of a dead Nord laying on the bed, the Dragonborn understood why. Trusting the environmental storytelling, he soon came to spot a journal on a bedtable, and picked it up.  
The dog was laying on a torn rag, looking up at him with whiny eyes. It was a rather old mutt with gray fur and droopy ears, and a short nuzzle that gave it a slow-witted look. And from what Karmyn could read in the Nord's journal, his name was Meeko.

“Poor boy.”, he said, putting the journal down. “Got no one left to take care of you.”

He chuckled, crouching a bit to pet the dog's head.

“Lost a loved one, didn't you? Don't worry. I know how that feels.”

The dog wagged his tail, looking up at him. As Karmyn stood up to go, however, he barked after him. Raising a brow, the Dovahkiin looked at the mutt for a moment, trying to understand.

“What's wrong, boy?”

Then, after a second, he came to get where this was going. He chuckled to himself, and gave the dog another caress.

“You wanna come with me, don't you?”

As if he had understood, the dog barked happily, wagging his tail again. For some reason, Karmyn couldn't hold back a happy grin.

“Heh, alright, alright. Come on, follow me.” 

He patted his lap, and as he walked out of the shack, the dog came to follow him, still barking happily.  
What a weird day, it seemed. He's gained a companion that surely couldn't replace Derkeethus, but that would give him some company. The world had strange ways, it seemed; but he wasn't complaining. After all this monologuing, he really could use a listening ear, even without an understanding brain. And hey, he's always wanted of a real pet! Now that Derkeethus wasn't there anymore to judge him, he wouldn't pass on the occasion!  
He smirked internally to himself as he got back onto Shadowmere, and followed the road with his new companion. Deeper into the woods, deeper into the night and the snow.  
It was starting to get cold, and Frost Trolls were on the loose. The paths were dangerous, with their wrecked carriages and wild beasts, and more than once did hazards almost claim the life of Karmyn's new quadrupedal companion. Checking his map again, he realized with a sigh that he wouldn't get to Winterhold before at least one other horseriding day. He wouldn't be able to bear it, neither would Meeko. That's why he decided, in a thrust of lucidity, to stop by Dawnstar for the night. It wasn't very far anyway, given he managed to make it through that snowy road in one piece.  
What wouldn't he give for a warm fireplace, right now!

“Courage, bud.”, he reassured Meeko. “We're almost there, alright?”

He got replied by a bark. Chuckling, he grabbed Shadowmere's reins, and galloped onto the stones of the path.  
There weren't many people at this hour of the night. Since he's departed from Solitude, he's only met a couple Orcs, a thief whom he's quickly incapacitated, some Vigilantes of Stendarr and a couple foxes. It was easy for one to become very, very lonely on long travels like these. So what was Karmyn's surprise when he saw a small group of people right before the road to Dawnstar. Curious, he got down his steed, and came closer to talk to them: a caravan of Khajiit merchants.

“They call us thieves and smugglers.”, commented Ahkari, who led the caravan. “I am glad to see that you are not such a one.” 

“I know better than that.”, Karmyn chuckled as he examined her stock of items. “Say, you guys travel a lot, right? You wouldn't have happened to see an Argonian with a Glass armor and a soft-spoken voice?”

“I am afraid not.”

Karmyn pursed his lips. It means Derkeethus had left Riften pretty early, if even the caravanians didn't see him on their way here.

“If you do see him...”, the Dragonborn said, putting away the potions he's just bought. “Could you tell him Karmyn's sorry, and needs to tell him something?”

“It depends, my friend.”

Karmyn rolled his eyes, and handed her a small pouch of coins. The merchant smiled, assuring it would be done.  
He then turned his attention to the other three Khajiits. Dro'marash was a well-spoken warrior, and Zaynabi was too busy sorting out goods to pay any attention to Karmyn. But what caught the Dragonborn's attention was the shape of the third companion's Steel Plate armor.

“Bandits harass the caravans at every step, but Khajiit usually scare them off.”, Kharjo snickered at Karmyn's approach. “Have you come to see our wares?”

“Oh, that I just did.”, he chuckled. “Why, bandits givin' you trouble?”

“We were ambushed a few days ago. Those nuisible marauders had quick fingers; one of them stole my Moon Amulet. It's my only memor-”

“Let me guess.”, Karmyn interrupted, rolling his eyes. “It's very precious to you, and you want it back, don't you?”

Kharjo blinked, looking at him with disbelief.

“Well...I was just about to ask so.”

Karmyn chuckled. People were so easy to read.

“It's alright. I'll bring it back to you, if it's that dear to you. Trust me?”

The Khajiit nodded, still a little confused. 

“Be careful.”, he said after a moment. “I miss my amulet, but a life cannot be replaced as easily.”

“You have my trust.”

Around them, the wind was starting to get colder. Karmyn shivered, realizing it was very late in the night. Good thing the town was just some steps away.

“I'll be on my way, then.”, he greeted, getting onto Shadowmere. “Good luck on your route back.”

“May your path guide you to warm sands.”

Personally speaking, Karmyn would have preferred a warm sea. But he smiled all the same, as he entered the small town, Meeko still following behind.  
The inn's fire was burning bright and warm; just what he needed after his trek in the blizzard. Sitting in front of it, he warmed his freezing hands at the golden flames, as the scent of fresh bread and roasted meat made Meeko's tail wag. The dog sat next to Karmyn, happily barking, and got his head pet.

“Of course we'll get to eat. For now, warm up a little, friend. I'll get us a room for the night.”

He was very tired after all of this. Around him, people were chattering, sharing trivial news, inquiring about stuff relevant to their daily lives. And here he was, in a completely different mood, not able to partake in their fun while his mind was still focused on his problem.  
Absconding from the other patrons' company before he'd break up in tears again, he retreated to his rented room. A one-place bed, for one lonely man. At least he'd have the bed to himself, right?  
He laid there, taking his boots off and watching the ceiling. His hand was negligently patting Meeko's head, his ears were picking up bits and snippets of songs coming from the hall, where the bard was having a lot of fun, it seemed.  
Sighing, Karmyn curled up under the covers. He still couldn't wrap his head around how much he missed Derkeethus. How he missed their adventures, their fights, and how sorry he was. If only he had explained himself instead of snapping out, maybe things would have been different? Maybe they'd still be together, trying to fit their two bodies on one bed, and ending up resting one on top of the other? Maybe they'd be with the others in the hall, sharing a meal and telling stories of their dragonslaying adventures? Maybe Derkeethus would have developed a secret affection for Meeko and started petting him all over when he thought Karmyn wasn't watching? Or maybe they'd still be with the Khajiits, chattering for hours on end before finally inviting them for a drink, sharing stories and tales from their respective homes, and the night would have ended on an arm-wrestling duel between Derkeethus and Kharjo to win the honor of getting a kiss on the cheek from Karmyn, in a purely show-off manner? He giggled at the thought, thinking just how Derkeethus would actually do it, but his laugh got stuck in his throat, and bitterness was the only thing that echoed out of his lips.  
He couldn't do it alone. He wouldn't be able to fight on his own. Not after getting used so much to having a trusty partner at his side. But he had to see the truth: Derkeethus wouldn't come back. He'd have already come to find him if he wanted, but he didn't. So the best Karmyn could do was try and move on, before it started to hurt even more. Before the wound in his heart would get even deeper, and start bleeding a hateful bile over their shared memories.  
As he blew off the lights, he thought of how he would proceed to get that Moon Amulet back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the part where you start wondering whether I'm scrapping off Derkeethus and Karmyn altogether, and the part where I say I know where I'm heading.  
> (I mean, I hope I do...?)


	20. Glenmoril Coven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to take a slight pause until September. Good thing I never promised to have an updating schedule.  
> Anyway. Have some backstory. :p

“Come on, let's take bets. What will pop out this time?”

“I bet it's a pair of gauntlets.”

“Gauntlets, huh? I bet it'll be another chestplate.”

“We're about to see.”

Karmyn put another ebony ingot in the offering box, checking there were enough remaining ingredients. Then he pulled the handle of the mechanism, and the light of the candles flickered once again. A moment later, a cloud of dark light appeared on the stage-like forge, and a metal clank was heard. When it dissipated, the two companions could see the item that had spawned in the middle of the candle circles.

“Aaaaand we're both wrong!”, Karmyn groaned, coming onto the stage to pick it up. “It's another helmet!”

“Hey, it's a cool helmet!”, Kharjo shrugged, toying with an old arrow. “That way your head will be twice as protected!”

“Well let's hope it has a good...oh come on! I don't need _another_ Alteration boost! I don't even use Alteration magic!”

“Random enchantments are random enchantments, my friend.”

To this snickered comment, Karmyn replied by taking a spell of Telekinesis, and drawing to him the glass arrow the Khajiit has been playing with for a moment, confiscating it. Kharjo rolled his eyes at the petty feat, and simply took another one from his quiver to skillfully balance on his finger.

“I can take that one too, you know.”

“And I can take another one, you know.”

“You'll run out of arrows.”

“You'll be burdened with all these arrows and ask me to carry some. So I'll have lots of arrows to play with. And the cycle will repeat indefinitely.”

“You got others like that, smartybreaches?”

Kharjo snickered at the comment, snapping his tail in swagger; Karmyn rolled his eyes, but chuckled all the same.  
The best way to forget his heartbreak, Karmyn thought, was to move on. And that's what he did. He's gone to fetch Kharjo's precious amulet, and since then they've been traveling together, the Khajiit moved by gratitude and some admiration. It has of course started with Karmyn's ritual of giving his new friend some more efficient armor; and nothing better for such a stealth expert than Boethiah's Ebony Mail, an armor piece that would shroud its wearer in darkness whenever they had to get discrete. They've also gone shopping for some matching armor pieces, as well as basic weapons.  
They didn't go on a mission just yet. Karmyn had to make a detour by Winterhold and craft the Daedric Armor he's set his eyes on for a time. His plan would actually have taken much more than just some dog meat; but as he didn't have much ethics, he decided to cheat his way through gathering all the elusive ingredients. Needless to say, Kharjo had nearly fainted upon seeing the shadowy figure, that was giving Karmyn everything he wanted in exchange for another piece of his dignity, every single time.  
Karmyn compared the enchantments on both Daedric helmets. One had a 25% bonus on Alteration spells, the other had 20%. He handed the latter to Kharjo, keeping the other for himself.

“Here. You'll need that.”

“I already have a helmet, you know.”, the Khajiit replied, poking his Ebony helm.

“That way we'll be matching. And hey, Daedric is much more classy.”

Kharjo tried to shake his head out of it, but couldn't resist Karmyn's insistence. He took the armor piece and put it on, watching his reflection in the blade of his steel sword.

“It has a lot of thorns.”, he commented, sheathing it back.

“I love thorns. They're so cool.”

“But can't you get hurt on these?”

“That's the point.”

Karmyn loaded another Soul gem in the box, and pulled the lever a fifth time. He's already got almost all of the Daedric set, and only needed a pair of gauntlets to complete it. His current weapons were fine, so he wouldn't bother with getting new ones for now.  
The cloud of dark light appeared, and spawned another item before disappearing. This time, Karmyn cackled in triumph; his set was now complete. He picked up the gauntlets (ooh, One-Handed bonus) and went to fetch back the rest of the offering ingredients, as they were too expensive to be wasted.  
Needless to say, his back was kind of heavy now with all the stuff he was carrying. Even when he changed into his new boots, which offered a nice boost to his maximum carry weight, he couldn't help but walk too slowly. And his follower didn't fail to notice.

“You know...I can shoulder some of your burden if you'd like.”

“That's very nice of you. But I'm fine, I swear.”

Kharjo still didn't look very convinced. But he didn't say anything, and kept walking slowly, alongside the Dragonborn.  
After a time dragging himself up the slope out of the Midden, however, Karmyn stopped and pulled out a huge pile of goat cheese wheels from his inventory, and almost ate them all in one go. Kharjo held back a disgusted retch, still impressed at how one person could possibly eat all of that in less than one second. Karmyn didn't notice it at first, but then proceeded to eat slower. He's forgotten that people didn't always know of his...specialties.

“You want some?”, he asked after a time, holding him a couple slices of eidar cheese.

Kharjo politely shook his head.

“...not too hungry.”

“Well. I'll save some for tonight, then. Gotta cook up some dinner.”

All that cheese-eating had proven successful, as Karmyn was now light enough to walk up the slope and stairs, and find his way to a ladder out of the Midden. A moment later, they were back out in Winterhold's snowy climate.  
Kharjo shivered, saying something about warm sands in a complaint tone, for only the fifteenth time since they've arrived in Winterhold.

“How come you don't get cold?”, he asked Karmyn, with bits of jealousy in his voice.

“I get used to it. You'll get too, one day.”

“Don't wanna.”

“Come on, Kharjo. Some cold is good for your health.”

“Don't wanna…”

That whine was a bit louder than the others. Who could blame him, afterall? Khajiits loved warm places, and he couldn't say that Argonians didn't. He checked his gold pouch, and pouted in disappointment: after going shopping for new gear, it had become quite emptier. There was enough to get some mead, at least, but he'd need to raid a dungeon soon.

“I suppose we could get some warm soup at the inn...unless you wanna hang out with the others at the College?”

“Pass. Soup sounds lovely.”

“Yeah, you're right.”

They walked down the bridge to Winterhold, being careful not to slip on all this snow. It was becoming quite hard to see with all that hail; luckily, Karmyn had a solution. He chose a Shout in his list, looked up at the sky, and breathed in...before breathing out.

“Um, Kharjo. You might want to cover your ears.”

“Why?”

He's thought the answer to be rather obvious; but indeed, his new companion wasn't entirely accustomed to working for a Dragonborn. Karmyn just insisted he did so, and Kharjo obeyed with reluctance. Thanking him with a smile, the Dovahkiin resumed his task, and cleared the sky with a three-word Thu'um that left passerbys staggered.

“There. Much better.”

He looked around, and saw Kharjo's ears lowered in fear.

“C...can you warn me before you do something like that!?”

“I _did_ warn you.”

“Well warn me better next time!”

Karmyn's only answer was a tired eye roll and a half-assed “Mother of Talos...” escaping from his grumbling lips.

“Ugh, anyway. Let's get moving, while the snow's more gentle.”

Luckily, the Frozen Hearth wasn't far. As soon as they entered in, Kharjo went to sit by the fire, shivering like a freshly plucked chicken. Karmyn sneakily helped himself some bread and cheese from a table, and grabbed some mead off a shelf while no one was looking. Secretly rolling in the shadows, he soon arrived behind the bartender, and stayed hidden among barrels waiting to be completely invisible. He then raided the rabbits and pheasants hanging from the ceiling, as well as some garlic and mirriam. Then, waiting several minutes until Dagur got distracted with a patron, he grabbed the gold he could find behind the counter, making sure to pause should the owner look this way. But finally, he rolled out after stealing what he could from the barrels, and made his way back to Kharjo.  
Needless to say, the other wasn't very pleased.

“So that's how you do when you're short on septims?”

“Well, even heroes need to feed.”, Karmyn commented, tossing a couple rabbit legs into the fire.

Kharjo glared at him with disgusted disappointment.

“I can't believe it. You go around, stealing from people like it's no big deal, and then they wonder why we're called beggars and thieves?”

Karmyn rolled his eyes in annoyance, groaning.

“I save dozens of lives every day. They'll allow that.”

“Oh please. Don't you know what they say about you?”

“What, that I'm a hero and they're grateful to me?”

“You know what I'm talking about.”

Karmyn raised his eyes from the cooking meat, looking at him.

“Caravanians are the eyes and ears of these Holds.”, Kharjo said in a low tone. “I've heard your tales from so many voices. And they were not all about glory and fame, no.”

He leaned in closer, as Karmyn was raising an interested brow.

“People remember the wrongs you've done. The crimes you've committed. All these wares you have stolen, these innocents you've hurt or killed, even by accident. They know you keep running away, escaping and hoping they'll forget. And they do, eventually. But the ones you've wronged will never forget it.”

He sat upright again, looking at Karmyn with a judging glare.

“It's time you assume your wrongs, isn't it?”

Karmyn blinked, looking down. Sure, stuff happened sometimes, but...it couldn't be held against him, could it?

“I don't get it.”, he said. “Why are you telling me all of this? I never wronged you, did I?”

“What tells you that you've never wronged one of Khajiit's friends? Or a friend of Khajiit's friend? People know each other, and they talk and they remember!”

Karmyn didn't fail to notice the sudden change to third-person. That didn't sound good at all.

“Alright, alright.”, he admitted, raising his hands in defeat. “Look. The day will come where I will work to undo all of my wrongs and seek redemption for what I've done. But for now, I have other priorities. Very, very big priorities. I can't spend my days doing nothing and solving people's personal problems while Alduin is on the loose.”

“You mean, like you're currently doing right now?”

“...touché.”

Kharjo grinned of disappointment.

“Khaj...I think you should work a little on your priorities, if you see what I mean.”

“I know, I know. But I can't go fight the World-Eater without being properly trained, can I? Focusing only on that means I'd be way unprepared…and let's not forget I'd need the best gear there is. You don't want me to fail, do you?”

“...touché.”

Karmyn grinned a little, patting Kharjo's shoulder.

“Don't worry. We'll get there soon. We'll go see Alduin, kick his butt, and then have a huge party with all of our friends.”

“Won't it be hard to defeat him with just the two of us?”

“Nah. Not if we're properly trained after grinding like crazy. Nothing like adventuring to get in level.”

He chuckled.

“And I believe you need some good old adventuring to...”

He stopped, blinking. A strange impression of déjà-vu had just washed over him.

“...to what?”, Kharjo asked.

“...to...to grind up your gear.”

Kharjo nodded in agreement, but Karmyn didn't feel any better.  
Where did that come from? He wasn't very sure of what just happened, but he's pretty sure he's already said that somewhere. To someone entirely else.  
His chest felt heavy, all of a sudden. He didn't know this odd feeling, but he didn't like it. It felt as if something was stuck in his throat, and he couldn't get it out.  
Kharjo took a nearby fire poker, and took the roasted rabbit legs out of the fire, dressing them on a plate with a comment on how food so hard gained shouldn't be wasted. He handed Karmyn his share, but the latter didn't feel like eating.  
They departed soon, not wanting to waste their time idling around a fire when there were so many things to be done. Having only one steed at his disposition, Karmyn attempted to play gentleman and let Kharjo ride Shadowmere; but the dark horse was having none of it, and didn't even wants of these stranger hands on her saddle. Kharjo said it was alright, as he was used to follow others on foot by now. So they strut together down the road, heading to Windhelm.

“We'll put down our old stuff back home, then we'll see. I feel like visiting the Companions, today.”

“I've heard of them, indeed. You wouldn't know just how many stories are told about them.”

“Well, they're known in a number of Holds. And I'm proud to be one of them. Helping people, doing community services, honoring fallen heroes…y'know, the usual stuff.”

Kharjo nodded, saying nothing else. But Karmyn could tell he still had things to add. So he waited, trotting on the path.  
They went on their way, stopping occasionally to slay wolves, stop bandits, loot ingredients, chase some stray fox (“What does the fox say now, huh!?”), or just talk to random people they happened to meet. Going on the road instead of fast-traveling took its time, but it felt somewhat much more rewarding in terms of adventure and fun.  
After a time, as they passed in front of Fort Kastav, they got stopped by archery fire. Kharjo drew his sword immediately, as Karmyn was getting off his horse.

“We've got company. Watch my back and I'll watch yours.”

“Understood.”

As Karmyn ran to the fort the attacks were coming from, he saw these weren't soldiers, but skeletons. Which could only mean…

“Kharjo, watch out! They're Necromancers!”

The Khajiit barely had time to speak, a blast of lightning struck him in the chest. Slaying the undead archers, Karmyn jumped down, preparing a ward as he advanced towards the enemy. But Shadowmere, reckless as usual, got in his way, trying to stomp the conjurer to death. While the latter was distracted, Karmyn ran to his follower, applying a quick healing spell on his burns. He got up quickly, equipping his bow.

“Use Storm-based attacks, that'll drain them out!”, Karmyn advices, conjuring a Storm Atronach.

“What attacks? I can't do any magic!”

Karmyn turned to his companion, momentarily surprised.

“What do you mean!? I thought you-”

Another lightning blast stopped his words. Annoyed, Karmyn readied his mace, gobbling down some cheese wheels to make up for the lost health, and slammed it down on the mage's skull. He quickly looted the body, then checked around for other enemies. Luckily, they've been wiped out.  
Karmyn panted a little, surprised of the speed at which his health had been depleting. Considering his level in Heavy Armor was way lower than his maxed-out Light Armor skill, he could understand why; still, he's lost a lot of stamina, and he couldn't risk recklessness anymore. He'd need to be careful from now on, but this perspective irked him.  
Kharjo followed Karmyn to the fort's entrance, ready to go; but the Dragonborn turned to him.

“You really can't do any magic?”

Kharjo shook his head.

“Never mess with that. Too dangerous.”

“...not even a magelight? Or a Flame spell?”

“It only brings problems. Khajiits aren't made for magic.”

“That's not true, you know so. Haven't you seen J'zargo, back at the College?”

“His arrogance has been his loss. Khajiit who wields fire and ice cannot wield a sword.”

Karmyn chuckled at that cryptic reply.

“Why, what does everyone have against polyvalence these days? I can totally wield both at once.”

And to prove it, he drew his ebony sword, holding a spell of Flames in his left hand. Kharjo only scoffed at him.

“You're too spread. You can't focus on one thing. You know what they say: jack of all trades, master of none.”

“But better than master of one.”, Karmyn completed, sneaking to prove his stealthy side as well. “See, I'm a triangle of brawling, sparking and hiding.”

Kharjo didn't answer, entering inside the fort. Karmyn stood up, scoffing.

“Don't like jokes either, eh? Boring.”

He entered as well. Inside was no dungeon, only some living quarters. Karmyn looted them of food and valuables, went to peek upstairs, and was quickly done with it. Huh, disappointing.

“I'd have been in the mood for a real dungeon, though...”

“Why does everything have to happen in dungeons?”

“Because dungeons are cool, I guess? There's exploring, and puzzles, and loot, and secret entrances, and lots of cool gear...”

“And what else?”

“...ghosts?”

“And what else?”

“Okay you know what, I'm bored. Let's go on our way.”

Kharjo rolled his eyes, following Karmyn on foot down the way to Windhelm. Luckily, it wasn't very far; some slain frost trolls and snow saber cats later, they had arrived.

“Home, sweet home.”, Karmyn joked, entering Hjerim with stretching arms.

“Nice place you got ther- what is that!?”

Kharjo jumped back, completely started by the downstairs rush of the brown hound. Karmyn chuckled, trying to calm the dog, whose barks would have woken up the dead in their nearby graves.

“I forgot- Kharjo, meet Meeko. He's very nice, don't worry- hey, calm there, friend. Yes, I know, the new friend smells funny.”

Kharjo tried to hiss the dog away, and the latter replied by growling. Karmyn rolled his eyes, finally managing to get the dog to sit quietly, so he could unload his equipment in peace.

“Seems like he still needs to get warmed up.”

“Whatever...”

Once his sorting job done, Karmyn sat at the dinner table, inviting Kharjo to do so. He grabbed some pie from the plate in front of him, and started to eat.

“Sure you don't want some?”

“Thank you, but...I'm not hungry.”

“Feel free to pick. Got plenty of food.”

Kharjo was obviously feeling uneasy, seeing his awkward posture. Yet after a time, as Karmyn had bet it, he started to take his eases, helping himself to a bottle of ale.

“So...where will you go, next?”

“Whiterun.”, said Karmyn, reading his quest journal. “Vilkas and the gang may need me.”

Kharjo nodded, adding nothing. Karmyn raised a brow, glancing at him from being his notebook.

“Something's the matter, friend?”

“Nothing, don't worry.”

But behind this facade, Karmyn knew his Khajiit friend was uneasy. Closing his notebook, he turned to him, removing his horned helm to look at him in the eye.

“There's something you want to say.”

Kharjo looked away, not answering; but after a time, he nodded.

“I'm just...wondering where we'll go.”

“What do you mean? As in, what dungeon we'll explore next?”

“Not really.”

“Then, what?”

Kharjo then said something, yet in a voice so soft, Karmyn didn't hear it. He asked him to repeat; but for some reason, the follower looked away again, saying it was nothing.

“What? What were you saying?”

“Nothing much...forget about it.”

Karmyn pursed his lips, a little annoyed. But he didn't say anything, as his friend obviously had some troubles with his people skills, and pushing him too much would be counter-productive. So he said nothing, beside a whistled order for Meeko to calm down, as he's been growling lowly for a time.

“So. We'll head to Whiterun in the morning, sounds alright?”

“Alright...”

“Welp. Come up, I'll show you your room.”

Kharjo raised a questioning brow, to which Karmyn replied it'd be rude to let him sleep outside. He led him to Derkeethus's old room, which had been untouched since the two of them started sleeping together. It's been quite a while ago, seeing the dust layer now covering the furniture.

“I'll be in my room if you need anything. Don't hesitate to wake me up if there's a problem, alright?”

“Alright. Thank you, friend.”

A last goodnight later, Karmyn retreated to his own room.  
His nights had been lonely for some days now, but he had started to get used to it. It's not as if he could get a good night's sleep anyway...damn werewolf blood.  
Hope the Companions had an answer to this problem, he thought to himself, falling asleep.

~~~~~

“So...you mean there actually _is_ a cure?”, Karmyn asked, dumbfounded.

Kodlak Whitemane nodded, his tired eyes looking ahead with something dreamy in them. Karmyn rubbed his neck in questioning, trying to think about what this would mean for him, and for the Companions as a whole.

“Do they all want to get cured?”

“Only some of them. Some have already chosen to join Hircine's Hunting Grounds when their time has come. I cannot stop them, if this is what they wish.”

The old man then raised a curious brow at the Dragonborn.

“I know their stance on the matter, but I have yet to hear yours.”

“That's why you've brought me here, isn't it?”

“Among other reasons.”

Karmyn looked up, trying to think.

“Honestly, I'm not so sure. Having the blood of the werewolf can have its perks. And it's an honor to be part of the Circle...but if it means I have to give up on reuniting with the Hist after I die, I can't help but have second thoughts.”

What _would_ even happen if he were to die? He was the Dragonborn, one with the soul of a dragon. Dragons couldn't come into the Realm of the Hist after they die, could they? If his soul was a dragon soul, how come it'd even ended up in a Hist tree for him to get in the first place?  
All these details were confusing to him. He didn't even know why he was suddenly becoming a mammal when using his beast form, instead of a reptile of sorts. Fur was gross and shivering was freaky, and he couldn't breathe underwater. Talk about a useful ability!

“I understand your concerns.”, Kodlak replied with a slow nod. “It would be ill-advised of me to judge your choice. But know that once you leave, there will be no turning back.”

“I understand.”

The Harbinger then explained to Karmyn the nature of the werewolf blood curse, and of a way to cure it. Infiltrate some witches' coven, decapitate some hagravens and bring back their heads? Seemed feasible.

“When you come back, we'll need to talk of some matters.”, Kodlak said, as Karmyn was leaving.

“I guess they're major ones?”

He was replied with a nod. Not making too much of it, Karmyn left Jorrvaskr's living quarters, returning upstairs with the others. His head was heavy with thoughts now, but he didn't feel like dwelling on them just now.  
As usual, the twins were quarreling over some petty misunderstanding, making Aela sigh and groan in annoyance. Tilma was putting away leftovers from dinner, saying something about how nothing would change. Other Companions could be heard training outside, their swords clashing and hitting each other with a fury typical of newcomers. As for Kharjo, he's been sitting awkwardly in a corner, waiting for Karmyn to return from his private conversation.  
Upon seeing the Dragonborn, Kharjo perked up from his unease. His eyes were clear: he wanted to get out of here. These people were noisy, loved to brawl for a nothing and at least one of them had tried to pet him since he's arrived. Karmyn chuckled in understanding, greeting his siblings-in-arms before the two of them took their leave.

“So what did the old man say?”, Kharjo asked.

“Oh, nothing of real importance.”, Karmyn shrugged, looking at his map. “Just gave me a couple quests to complete, like pretty much anyone who needs my help.”

“You sound like your cause isn't a noble one.”

“It is, it is. But, it's always the same thing, you know? Always old dungeons and caves and dragons, and more dungeons and more dragons, and Draugr and Imperials and always whatever cult they want me to erase… I mean, I'm starting to get tired after a moment.”

“Why did you chose the path of the _Ma'narajalij_ , then?”

Karmyn blinked for a moment, looking at Kharjo with confusion.

“The...the Dragonborn.”, the latter corrected. “That's how Khajiit call it...I mean, how we call you.”

“Oh. Well, let's just say the path of the Dragonborn chose me instead.”

Kharjo nodded. As they headed outside of Windhelm, however, Karmyn could say he still had things to ask, as shown by his quick, sly glances in his direction.

“Need something?”, he asked after a time.

“Oh, no, nothing...”

“I know you do. It's okay, you can tell me.”

“It's fine. I was just...wondering how Argonians would say the word.”

Karmyn looked at him with a raised brow.

“What...how we say 'Dragonborn'?”

“Yes.”

It was a strange question...but Kharjo was right to inquire about it. In all honesty, Karmyn had never asked himself about that. He's always said 'Dragonborn' or 'Dovahkiin', when he wasn't using first-person. Derkeethus and he never had much conversations in Jel anyway, especially not about Karmyn's condition. So for a good moment, he stayed genuinely puzzled.  
He could not think of a single time where Argonian lore would mention the Dragonborn. If even the Khajiits had a word for it, then his Hist-people should have one as well, right? Except nothing came to mind.

“Well, if we do, I don't know how we'd say it.”, he shrugged after a time. “I mean, there never were any Argonian Dragonborns...but then again, I wasn't raised with fairytales. Maybe there is, but I don't think so.”

“So you're the first Argonian Dragonborn?”

“Seeing the Greybeards' original reactions to me coming up on their mountain? Guess I am.”

These old Nords didn't believe their eyes when a 'lizard' like him had ended up in their sanctuary on top of High Hrothgar. They thought they've gotten something wrong, until he proved them he was the one from the old prophecy. Oh well, not every hero can be a blond Nord with an Iron Helmet, can they?

“But you know what?”, Karmyn said after a time of thinking. “If I'm the first, then it means I can name myself, after all. I can add another word to the ancient language of the Hist, how great is that?”

“That sounds amazing! But...what will you call yourself?”

Karmyn thought about it for a moment, not so sure. The Dragonborn, born of dragons. Child of reptiles. Dovahkiin, hunter of dragonkind. Slayer of beasts.  
After a moment of thinking, he ended up with a word he liked. He tested out the sounds in his head, checked for double meanings, before nodding.

“ _Masusinha_.”, he said. “Child of the dragons.”

“That's pretty.”

The Dragonborn looked in the horizon, thinking about his new title.

“ _Kotatum-duj, Kajeix Kahrumin, xal-Masusinha._ Because even Argonians can be tough warriors.”

Kharjo, surprised by that sudden display of Jel, couldn't hold back a chuckle, which he quickly apologized for. As for Karmyn, he liked drawing most of the attention to himself, so he didn't mind.  
A bit of fast-traveling later, they had arrived at Glenmoril Coven. When they stepped inside the old, moist cave, Karmyn saw two objectives appear on top of his vision: bring back the head of a witch, and optionally wipe out the entire clan. Well, he already knew he'd take the longer, yet most rewarding route. And hey, the head of a witch would totally go in his collection of pretty things!  
The dungeon was a basic one. Like any other dungeon he's already seen. But this time, Karmyn opted for the stealthy route: he'd kill each of these hagravens without they even suspect it, and would gain a lot of stealth perks in the process. Luckily, Kharjo was a good rogue, to make up for his nervousness of moist, badly-lit dungeons.  
It was a little strange. Usually Derkeethus would have already gotten out his staff and shot fire or summoned an Atronach to fight these impetuous creatures, and basically made a highly-damaging mess. Karmyn was always on edge, waiting for fireballs to graze past him at any minute now. But instead, all he got was the surprise of having Kharjo stay put, quiet, hidden in the darkness of the Ebony Mail. Needless to say, that only put him more on edge; while he knew of Derkeethus and his fighting style, Kharjo's was entirely unknown to him yet. Was the Khajiit waiting for a time to strike? Was he always so stealthy and silent? Would he put traps, attack full-front, sneak in the witches' back and stab them? Or would he do nothing at all and stay hidden in the shadows like a coward?  
Karmyn didn't know. And he didn't like this.

“What are you waiting for?”, he asked after a moment of hiding from a witch's glare.

“What?”, Kharjo asked, not understanding.

“The enemy's right there. Won't you attack?”

“And blow our cover? I can't!”

Karmyn rolled his eyes, and took out his Ebony bow. And like a rookie who's suddenly understood what was expected of them, Kharjo did the same, drawing his Orcish bow and Dwarven arrows.

“Hang on, you've ever practiced archery before?”

“...”

“You never held a bow in your life, haven't you.”

Kharjo nodded, ashamedly. Karmyn sighed a little.

“It's fine. Don't worry...just look at me and try to learn.”

Karmyn snuck further, poisoning his weapon. Focusing on the target, holding his breath, he drew the bow, waited for the target to enter the perfect shooting range, and let the arrow go. The hagraven got hit in the ribs, and screeched loudly, trying to find where that was coming from. Karmyn released his breath silently, letting go of the bow's pressure, waiting to be perfectly hidden again.

“See, this is how-”

The sound of an arrow hitting stone echoed in the room. Karmyn turned to Kharjo, and saw him trying to hit the witch, in a completely awkward manner.

“What are you doing?”, he whispered in exclamation. “Stay low, we'll be found!”

“She can't see us, we're safe!”

“Kharjo, put it down, quick!”

But Kharjo had already let go of another arrow, that fell awkwardly in a puddle of water. The witch turned her head to the source of the sound, and it didn't take her long to trace it back to where the two were hiding. Karmyn's detection marker fully opened; they've been found.

“Oh, great.”

Karmyn barely had time to parry the fire spell that was launched at them. Drawing his sword, he rushed in, stabbing into the creature. Hard task, as he was being clawed and shrieked at, and he lost a heap of health before finally triumphing.  
Decapitating the witch with a swift motion of his blade, he put the head in his inventory. He could end the quest now, but he's already decided he'd end the entire Glenmoril clan, so he wouldn't stop now.  
As he walked out of the room, he looked at Kharjo sharply, and the cat lowered his ears.

“I'm sorry.”, Kharjo said. “I...I just wanted to try...”

Karmyn sighed, sheathing his sword.

“I don't blame you. But...if you don't know how to do something, don't do it. Not until you've gotten proper teaching.”

“I'm sorry...”

“It's okay. Now come on, we have a mission to complete.”

Kharjo's tail wagged low as they left that portion of the cave. Karmyn knew he shouldn't be angry; that guy was still a beginner, who only knew how to deal with thieves and bandits, and who's likely never encountered a magical creature or held a weapon other than a blade. After all, Derkeethus had been the same at first: a beginner, prone to mistakes, and who learned quickly. Karmyn remembered these long days spent teaching him something new, like how to block with a shield, how to optimize armor rating, or how to use healing spells.  
They've been a long way already...but now Karmyn would have to do it all over again with his new follower. And he wasn't sure he'd manage.  
Kharjo had likely read this thought on Karmyn's expression, as he said nothing else. He acted out on orders and stayed silent, but lost his initiative. And while Karmyn wasn't too hindered by this, it was still somewhat annoying to be followed by someone so inactive. What was the point of having a follower if they wouldn't act on their own, too?  
That's why two slain witches later, Karmyn turned to his follower, whose ears lowered again.

“I told you; don't beat yourself up over it. You'll learn.”

“I don't want to do something wrong again! What if my blade slips and the witch gets me?”

“They won't. I'd defend you, you know that?”

Karmyn put his hand on Kharjo's shoulder, and the Khajiit flinched ever so slightly.

“We're partners in battle, now. You got my back, I got yours. Got it?”

Kharjo nodded, still looking down.

“I don't want to disappoint you...”

“You're not disappointing me. We just...have a gap in skills, that's all. No need to worry about it.”

He chuckled.

“You did fine as a bodyguard until now. It's time you put what you've learned to good use, don't you think?”

Kharjo seemed thoughtful for a moment but then, he nodded again.  
Karmyn smiled, looking at his compass; two more hagravens to go. He could take care of them now, and be done with it. But the Khajiit wasn't in his best fighting mood. It'd be useless to push further at this point, so he decided to so something he's never done before: go out of the dungeon, and take a break.  
They backtracked, before getting out of the coven. Following the slope of the hill, they walked for a moment before finding a fallen tree, on which they sat down. Karmyn pulled a couple bowls of soup from his inventory, and they ate in silence for a while.  
The Dragonborn could feel his follower's unease. Dungeons like these sure were scary, afterall. And while Kharjo may be a bodyguard, he was no adventurer, and even less of a monster killer. Had they meet some months earlier, Karmyn wouldn't have minded teaching him about fighting, exploring, or even afford him some battle lessons from people who'd be willing to offer them. But now was too late; he was already too busy with Alduin, and the various guilds he was part of, and that he soon would have to lead. He couldn't afford to waste time on training a rookie to handle the high-level dungeons he had to explore now. But he couldn't ask Kharjo to magically gain experience, could he?  
He sighed, his head down. And the Khajiit didn't fail to notice it, looking at him with worry.

“Are you angry?”, he asked, a hint of fear in his voice.

“What? No...no, I'm not angry.”

“You seem distressed, though...”

“I've got a lot of things on my mind. It's okay.”

Kharjo didn't feel too reassured, looking down as well, making Karmyn sigh again. That dilemma would never have happened when Derkeethus was still at his side.  
It felt strange to admit it, but...he didn't realize just how much he'd miss his old friend. But right now, there he was, missing him without a doubt. Missing his talent, skill and experience, that he always took for granted. His company, his reassuring words, his witty remarks. And all the memories they've made together.  
His chest started to feel heavy again, heavy with something he's never known before. Some kind of longing that nagged him, and made his regrets ache even more.  
His hand trailed under his chestplate, and found the amethyst ring. Hesitating for a second, he took it out, letting it rest in his palm. He stayed a moment without talking, just gazing at it, his fingers running over the silvery engravings. For some reason, it made the bad feeling even stronger, and even more painful. Just like the feeling that made him cry himself to sleep, and lie for hours on end as he basked in his regrets and pain.

“Are you crying?”

That soft question brought him back to reality. Indeed, he's barely noticed he's been crying. He reassured Kharjo, wiping them off, saying it was nothing; but even he could still feel the Khajiit's worried gaze on him. So he sighed, and turned to him.

“I'm alright, I swear. Just...just thinking of stuff.”

He didn't feel like he needed to explain. The ring, his tears, were enough in themselves to tell a story. Kharjo nodded, saying nothing. Nothing he could have said would make Karmyn's pain easier, anyway.  
As he went to put the ring back around his neck, he felt something under his fingers; the leather pouch. Usually he'd put it in a special pocket of his Dragonscale armor; but as he didn't have it anymore, he had to wear it like a necklace again. His fingers lingered on it for a long time, after which he decided it was awkward enough. He took it out, and felt the seeds under the leather. It was almost like he could count them by touching them, after all this time; there were one hundred and forty-three of these almond-sized seeds. He knew twelve of them had a broken husk, sixty-two had traces of early germination on them, and at least one had broken down into pieces. He knew all about the careful process needed to make them germinate and grow into saplings, when to plant them, what to water them with and what fertilizer to use in which quantities. He just knew this, because it's been so long.  
Naturally, Kharjo's ears had perked up in curiosity. One could guess from his expression all the interested questions he had, but didn't dare to ask. And yet, his stare was a bit much to handle, no matter how discrete it was. Karmyn knew that if he said nothing, he'd end up with these things stolen during the night, and sold to some fence; not that he was distrustful of Kharjo, but anyone curious enough would be driven to such feats. So he sighed, putting the pouch down on his lap.

“They're seeds of the Hist trees. Very rare, very valuable.”

He showed him one. Kharjo ogled the small purplish seed with curious eyes; likely because something as puny as _seeds_ couldn't be worth a lot, right?

“Don't be fooled by their size. These things are a very big deal. If the people of Black Marsh knew about this, they'd have me arrested and executed. Or tortured to death.”

“They can't be that much of a big deal...they're just seeds.”

Karmyn chuckled, amused by his naivety.

“Tell that to the guys who control the Hist trees. Tell that to the fanatic zealots who lead the Argonian government. Tell that to all the thieves and smugglers who'd sell their entire family just to have the opportunity to grow their own Hist tree.”

He sighed, putting the pouch back around his neck. Naturally, the premise of money interested the Khajiit very much.

“When will you sell them?”

“Never.”

The cat blinked.

“But...you just said they were very valuable?”

“Indeed.”

“And...didn't you also say something about money being tight, the other day?”

“Also.”

Kharjo's expression became very puzzled, and Karmyn looked away. How could he ever explain? How could anyone ever understand? It was useless, and he didn't feel like telling that story...even though that's what caused him to lose Derkeethus's company in the first place.  
He stood up, walking away. Not in direction of the coven, but someplace else. He needed to do something else, for now; luckily, Ilinalta's Lake was only a minute away. So he walked, his follower right in his footsteps, still silent...that is, until Kharjo started asking questions.

“Where did you get those?”

“In Black Marsh, where else.”

He tried to ignore him, as he kept walking, but he couldn't. His voice kept echoing in his mind, like an intrusive thought.

“Did you really steal them?”

“Why do you think I can't sell them?”

He asked these questions even as they ran into necromancers, and fought their Ice spells that slowed them down so much. He hated ice, he hated the cold, but he couldn't do anything about it.

“And...and how much are they worth?”

“I don't know, I don't care...”

Why couldn't he just keep quiet? Why did everyone have to be so nosy, so pressing about it, so...so _curious_?!

“But have you ever tried to-”

“Oh my Talos, just SHUT UP ALREADY!”

That sudden burst of anger stopped Kharjo right in his words. His ears flattened, his fur peaked up, and a slight hiss escaped him; his arms were raised in fearful defense. Karmyn's irritation faded after a second, realizing he's just yelled at his friend.

“I'm sorry...I swear I didn't mean to.”

Kharjo's fur eventually rested down, and his arms lowered.

“No...Khajiit shouldn't have asked. Khajiit's sorry, it's not Kh...it's not my place.”

Karmyn sighed, glancing away. It would be one of these predicaments, wouldn't it?

“I understand you're curious, but...but I don't want to talk about it. That's all.”

“Is it a painful story to tell?”

“It's not that. It's...”

His voice quieted. Why _couldn't_ he tell that story? He's never known, likely because no one's ever asked to hear it. He tried to think about it.  
Was it because it exposed his past, the past of the Dragonborn? He didn't have much trouble with telling where he came from...given he remembered it.  
Was it because he was admitting to committing a terrible crime? It was just stealing, and he didn't kill anyone...plus, to creatures descended from the Ehlnofey, Hist trees were just vaguely sacred trees for the lizard people of Black Marsh. It's not like they _knew_ how much these creatures were more than trees, and what the real value of these seeds was.  
Was it because he didn't want people to know how the mighty Dragonborn, the one meant to save Skyrim and restore peace, was just a scared little child who didn't know better than to run away? No, he was sure of that...was he?  
Or maybe was it because he was al ready too deep in the act, too deep in being the Dragonborn, that he didn't want people to know of the time he only was _Karmyn_?  
He sighed, looking at Kharjo.

“If I tell you, do you promise to better your fighting skills and help me with these quests?”

There was a visible moment of hesitation. But Kharjo eventually nodded.

“I'll do whatever you say.”

“Fine, then. Let's head back, shall we?”

And as they walked back up the slope to the coven, Karmyn thought of how he'd tell this. Where to start, and how? Derkeethus wouldn't need explanations on how Argonian society worked, but Kharjo would. Maybe the beginning was the most logical choice, only for this once.

“You know how every year in Black Marsh, there are hundreds of hatchlings that never get claimed back by their parents?”, he asked his follower. “They just stay there, hanging in the hatching ponds, long after getting their soul from the sap. Moon cycles pass and their parents are nowhere to be seen.”

“I think I understand...what happens to them?”

“They can be adopted, by parents whose own hatchlings have passed away. But most of them get taken in by the Xal-Thtithik.”

They soon walked back to the entrance of the dungeon, surrounded by unreachable taproots and skulls, before getting in.

“The what?”

“They're matrons of some kind, who raise abandoned hatchlings. If you've heard of Grelod the Kind from Riften, you know what kind of matron I'm talking about.”

“Doesn't sound too enchanting.”

“Indeed."

They stalked the witch, hidden behind rocks and plants. She hadn't spotted them yet, so Karmyn readied his bow.

"Most of the time, these kids grow up to be servants, workers, the ones with the dirty tasks. Sometimes they're sold as slaves while they're still young, so they don't form a tight bond with the Hist like other Argonians.”

“That's terrible, but...why are you telling me this?”

Karmyn let go of his arrow, and the second-to-last witch fell limp on the ground.

“Because...”

He hesitated. He could still go back and pretend it was nothing. But somehow, he felt like he _had_ to keep talking. He felt like he had to tell this story, to anyone willing to listen. He felt like this was what he wanted.

“Because I was one of those kids. A ditched egg, never claimed back.”

He looked away, a little uneasy about this topic. But he pushed himself to go on.

“I don't know my parents, if they're still alive, or if they chose to get rid of me. I was frail, weak, and would often get sick. My life was neither great nor complex: I obeyed their orders, I received food, and so on for years.”

His voice felt a bit hard in his throat as he talked.

“They...they kept telling us how being homeless was something even worse than being a slave, and how we were like a big family. That's how they managed to keep us from running away: fear and lies.”

He stopped for a moment, still crouching over the hagraven's body. Kharjo's hand touched to his shoulder, reassuringly. After a time, he wiped his tears, and kept telling.

“One day, there was this huge event. A big meeting with foreigners for the first time in years, at a great temple in Blackrose...they were Imperials, I think. They were here to discuss some big matters with the An-Xileel.”

He looked up at Kharjo, who seemed a little confused by the term.

“You know, the big guys pulling the strings behind the scenes? The ones who control everything about the Hist trees: where they are planted, taken care of, at what time…think of them as if some oligarchy controlled all the Moon Sugar in Elsweyr.”

That comparison seemed to get the point across.

“What happened, then?”, the Khajiit asked, as they headed to the last witch.

“They wanted it to be an occasion to shine, so they dispatched new servants in their headquarters, to show off their wealth and everything. I spent the day cleaning, helping around, trying my best to look happy. It was very hard, but I managed.”

They snuck behind a woven barrier, watching the witch fuss around some altars and animal bodies. Karmyn readied his bow, waiting for the right moment to strike while talking in a low voice.

“In the evening, the guests and hosts retreated, and we were allowed a break. But I was so restless! I've never been in such a huge, rich place before! So I snuck away from the others and went to explore. If someone found me, I could pretend I've gotten lost while cleaning hallways or something...but they didn't, and that's how I ended up in some place I knew I wasn't supposed to be in.”

He shot the arrow, and missed by a few inches. Luckily, the witch didn't see their hiding spot.

“There was a door, unlocked. I'd have looked past it, if it weren't for that strange glow that could be seen from underneath. I went to take a look, innocently, and...I saw them. I saw these seeds, in a chest that had been left open, and I was curious as xhuth. I've never seen one before, because from what I knew, you can't plant Hist trees.”

“That sounds stupid. I mean...trees have to come from somewhere, right?”

“That's the custom, though. Hist trees are sentient, they can take care of themselves...so, _planting_ them? That's plain blasphemy! So you could guess how I felt! I was doing something really dangerous, and I needed to get away...but I started thinking.”

Another missed shot, and the witch noticed them. Quickly, Karmyn placed down a Fire Rune, that exploded the moment the witch stepped on it, and gave him time to draw his sword.

“What did you do, then?”, Kharjo pressed, hooked to the story.

“My mind was racing. Humans and Mer, they'd always talk of the Hist sap and its value. I've seen it being smuggled for a handy amount of cash. They'd offer so much money for a single twig from a Hist tree, and they would do anything for so little as a leaf...so what about a seed? What about _an entire handful of seeds_? These purple pebbles were so valuable, so rare… If I had only one of those, I could buy my way out of the Xal-Thtithik's hands, into freedom!”

“So you just...stole them?”

“I stole one. Then a second, just to be sure. Then another one. Then before I knew it, I had shoved my hand in the chest and pocketed a handful of them.”

His sword thrust into the witch's stomach, and her body fell limp.

“And from now on, I knew I was in big, _big_ trouble.”

He set to cut off the creature's neck with his trusty pocket knife.

“I did my best to escape without being seen. I joined the other kids as we departed, and I told no one of what I've done. I kept the seeds hidden in my mouth the entire time.”

He sighed, pocketing the sliced-off head.

“Needless to say, I couldn't sleep that night. I was so scared that someone would discover what I've done and trace it back to me. It became a visceral fear, something that dreaded over me; and when the next day, they publicly announced that someone had stolen their greatest possession, I knew I couldn't stay here."

“Did they arrest you?”

“They wish. No, I escaped. I didn't have any belongings anyway, or any ties, any friends. I ran from the childbarn, I ran out of Blackrose, into the streets... I was scared to death, not trusting anyone. I kept running, in whatever direction out of town. Across rivers, and hills. My legs gave up on the way to Gideon; but at least, I was far from them, now.”

“Runaway thief...”, Kharjo nodded, slowly understanding. “It must have been dreadful.”

“Indeed. I've never been so scared in my life. Every shadow was there to kill me, ever noise was a footstep coming closer.”

“Why didn't you sell the seeds?"

“I couldn't; they'd trace it back to me, they'd know it was me. Fences weren't as common back then, and should I ask around for one, I might as well plead guilty to my theft. I thought of getting rid of them, but I couldn't either; they were too valuable. I couldn't just abandon them, I've been too far to get them. So I just kept them, and kept running away.”

They traced their way out of the dungeon, making sure to not miss any loot on the way back. Somehow, telling his story made Karmyn feel...better.

“How did it end?”

“Let's just say I spent most of my youth trying to survive. I lived on the border, not really in Black Marsh anymore but not in Cyrodiil either. I barely had enough regular sap to make up for hard work, so I didn't grow quite normally...I mean, have you seen how short my snout is?”

That made Karmyn chuckle, for some reason.

“I knew I couldn't stay in Black Marsh; some years later, I crossed the border, never to come back. Years passed, and I kept going north, doing my best to survive as I could, living day-to-day, with nothing to my name but a leather pouch. In the end, I cut ties; I changed my appearance, took another name. Eventually, I reached Skyrim; but I got caught by border patrols.”

His story told, he turned to Kharjo.

“The rest, well...you know it.”

And he resumed walking.

  
Behind him, Kharjo was still in a bit of a shock. He couldn't believe the story he's just heard. The Dragonborn, a runaway thief with a poor background? A runt among runts, a lost child with no riches other than a way too valuable treasure? A commoner who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, who changed his entire life by acting on impulse, and who had an ungrateful worker's life driven by fear?  
Somehow, everything Kharjo had ever thought to be real crumbled down like a crushed sugar cane. And on that moment, all Kharjo could do was _relate_.  
As for Karmyn, well...he didn't really know what else to say. It felt good to tell someone the weight he's had on his heart for so long. His story he was too much of a coward to tell his best friend, just because he had trust issues. And the story he's ended up telling a follower who had no use knowing this.  
It didn't feel right. He needed to do something...he needed to find Derkeethus, apologize, and tell him all he needed to hear. So that trust would never be an issue between them.

“Come on.”, he told Kharjo. “Let's head back to Whiterun. We have a long way to go.”

The Khajiit nodded, walking by his side. For some reason, he didn't feel as shocked or surprised as before...he felt good. He felt good in knowing Karmyn and he have had a similar path, and started out as runts before realizing their potential. To him, that was a sign from the stars; a sign of what, he didn't know...but he'd be happy to find out.  
As the fast travel effect hit them again, a goal made itself clear in Karmyn's mind: find Derkeethus, and give that amethyst ring the place it deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Ma'narajalij_ : "Child of the God-Beast", Ta'agra for "Dragonborn". Made up from words available on [Ta'agra Project](http://www.taagra.com/dictionary.php).  
>  _Masusinha_ : "Reptile child", Jel for "Dragonborn". Made up from both canon and fanon words available on [Banescale Fellow](http://banescalefellows.enjin.com/mobile/forum/viewthread/m/15126711/id/25684409-jel-word-index).  
>  _Kotatum-duj, Kajeix Kahrumin, xal-Masusinha_ : "Karmyn Scaleshield of Blackrose, the Dragonborn". It actually doesn't exactly mean that, since there are only a few Jel words available to work with.  
>  _Xal-Thtithik_ : "Sacred Egg-Hatchers" (here in the meaning of "matrons").


	21. Falkreath

“What I’m saying is, I don't know what's the deal with gourds. They can't be used in any recipe, they don't recover much health, and they taste gross. I can still sell them to a farmer if they feel like buying some, but I say, I've never seen such a useless vegetable! Even apples are better to munch on! I swear, I think gourds may be the only vegetable, or fruit or whatever, that I don't like.”

“...and what's your point, exactly?”

“Well my point is...”

Karmyn stopped, blinking in confusion for a moment. 

“...I forgot, actually.”

Kharjo groaned, trying to hide his annoyance.

“We've been talking of Hist trees, then you went on a full cookbook trip about what their fruits would taste like, and now you've just finished a ten-minute rant on how you have some grudge against gourds. Could you stop being so distracted, for once?”

“Well I can't help it, sorry!”

“You should try, I forgot what we were talking about in the first place. How can I learn anything if you're always drifting about?”

Karmyn didn't reply, looking ahead of the path. That wasn't the first time today they've been bickering about nothing, and that wouldn't be the last.

“Plus we've been supposed to meet with a wannabe murderer, you shouldn't be wasting your time on farming others' fields.”

“That's easy cash, and I need it.”

He could have sworn he'd heard Kharjo mutter something under his breath, but he didn't mind. Or didn't care, whatever. So he ignored him, as they walked into Falkreath.  
The last week hadn't been an easy one. Kharjo seemingly had no sense of sidequests and little favors, and would always share his thoughts on how they should be planning to take down dragons and stop Alduin, instead of wasting their time in dungeons and caves and forts of all kinds. To that, Karmyn could only use the 'it's training' excuse, as he didn't have any motives other than being a distracted little xhuth. Even the 'making money' reason wouldn't last too long, once the Khajiit would notice very little actual money was made from helping people here and there, exploring caves and looting stuff.  
It wasn't his fault if he was a helper! An adventurer, an explorer! Skyrim was so vast, every corner and crevice hiding a grotto or a tower, every ruins and lost cities harboring hundreds of wonders and corridors to find! What was a distracted adventurer to do? And indeed, sometimes he felt like these sidequests were all a distraction for him.  
If he went on with his main quest right now, he'd lose a major goal. He'd consider his task done and would only wallow in boredom, with nothing to help him out of it. And especially, although he'd never voice it out loud, but he'd lose the feeling of being needed, once he plays his keystone role and never gets it again.

“Plus, I’m helping people. I'm redeeming myself from all the looting and stealing and killing I've done.”, he said, hoping none of the guards around town would hear him.

“You sure have a very odd way to do so. Are you sure you shouldn't be slaying dragons, right now?”

Karmyn let out a huff, stopping and looking at him. Ever since Kharjo had grown more accustomed to fighting and to the lifestyle of a follower, he's also become much more critical of everything they were doing. All his 'we should be doing this instead's or 'we shouldn't be there's have started to irritate him, and a single word could make his good mood drop.

“Look.”, he hissed, trying to remain calm and polite. “If you're not happy with this, then you're free to go, you know? No one's stopping you, especially not me.”

That somehow seemed to get the point across: Kharjo's ears lowered, his eyes narrowed.

“That's not what Khajiit...”

He mumbled something, inaudibly, before sighing.

“Alright, let's just...let's get done with it, alright?”

“There we go.”

And with a smirk, that had more annoyance than meanness in it, he turned back to the road and soon walked into the Falkreath barracks.  
Townspeople have been talking of Sinding, that man who had slaughtered a child for seemingly no reason. For a town centered around death and graves, this was mere marketplace gossip. But the Dragonborn knew there was something else beneath it, as always. So he was there to settle this matter once and for all, and clear out whatever name was to be cleared out. 

“Start opening locks here, friend, and there'll be trouble.”, a soldier warned him as he made his way down to the jail cells.

“As if that was my type.”, Karmyn snickered.

Once he was out of hearing range, Kharjo cast a suspicious glance at Karmyn.

“You're not thinking of actually doing it, right?”

“Oh, granted I find the time to.”

That earned him a shocked glare. Karmyn chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Oh, come on. All the good stuff they have is locked away, never to be used. It's only fair I help myself.”

“You're despicable.”, Kharjo muttered between his teeth. “Listen to yourself, you should be ashamed!”

“I know, I know, this won't add to Argonians' reputation. It's only the third time this week you're saying that.”

“Because it's true!”

Karmyn would have wanted to reply, but right now he had a goal to complete.  
He stood in front of the gate, waiting for the prisoner to notice him. Once he did, the Nord carefully walked to him, out of the partially-submerged pit where he was kept in, and looked at him with baggy eyes hidden by dirty hair.

“Nice weather we're having, isn't it?”, Karmyn said on a jest tone. “But more seriously, I'm sure you've heard of me.”

“Indeed.”, Sinding nodded. “What do you want from me?”

“Nothing. I'm here to find out what really happened, if you're willing to tell.”

The prisoner looked down, but taken at heart by the hand offered to him, he quickly told his story. Karmyn didn't need a lot of explanation to understand the story at hand. Lycantrophy, and Hircine's cruel games. Something about a cursed ring, and a great beast to kill. That looked like an easy task…

“My wish is that I could take this cursed ring back where it belongs. But with me locked away here, there's no chance of that ever happening.”

“Don't fret so much, friend. I could take the ring back to Hircine for you.”

The prisoner's eyes seemed to light up.

“You'd do this? Really?”

“Well, why else would I be here?”, he chuckled. “Here, hand it over before the guard sees us.”

After checking no one was watching them, Sinding took a ring off his finger, and slipped it on Karmyn's. He hid it under his glove, a bit surprised by the other's forwardness but without commenting on it.

“Trust me, I'll do it.”

“Thank you again.”

Karmyn turned to Kharjo, as the prisoner was turning into his wolf form.

“So. Are we going?”

“What about him? Aren't you going to…?”

Karmyn turned to the cell; but where the wolf had stood a moment ago, there wasn't anything now.

“...maybe, maybe.”, he shrugged. “I've got a quest to do, the rest can wait.”

“You've got no priorities.”, he groaned. “Do you really buy his story? A mythic beast that Hircine watches over, here? Sounds like an odd coincidence.”

“Sometimes, coincidences are the Divines' cosmic game of chess. Might as well play by the rules, right?”

They escaped the barracks after a quick tour of the barrels and chests. Following closely, Kharjo didn't seem too reassured. Werewolves...ugh. The very thought of them made him think of these Companions, back in Whiterun. They smelled of wet dog and could use much better manners.  
They left the town, into the woods. Karmyn was following his instinct more than his map. A great beast in the forest, protected by Hircine; he pictured a large, great wolf, with long fur that'd float in the wind as it ran, and strong paws that would make the ground shake with every step. Not wanting to risk anything, he poisoned his sword, and instructed Kharjo to do the same. The poor Khajiit almost burned off his glove when applying the venom to his blade, and Karmyn had to do it for him.  
That kitty would stand no chance against a great beast, especially if a Daedric Prince was behind it.

“So...ever went on a hunt, Kharjo?”

The follower thought for a moment, before shaking his head.

“Usually Dro'marash would be the one hunting. He's much stronger and better-trained than me.”

“You can handle a bow, can you? You've made progress since last time.”

Kharjo scoffed a little. His new ability to hand a bow correctly and manage not to miss every single arrow shot could barely be called 'progress' in his opinion. But he didn't remark any further, should Karmyn's comments take a much meaner direction.  
The walk up the hills around Falkreath wasn't so pleasant, to say the least. Karmyn still hadn't caught up for his Heavy Armor skill, and every step seemed twice as harder than usual. He almost suspected to be overcharged again, cursing his stuff for being so heavy. He would have to go home and drop a ton of useless items one of these days, but maybe later; and Kharjo was seemingly too frail to carry anything. Luckily, he got used to the pace after a time. 

“So...guess we may have to meet with a Daedra Prince. Again.”, Karmyn commented.

“What do you mean, 'again'?”, Kharjo said with a hint of fear in his voice. “You can't mean you regularly meet these kinds of creatures?”

“Oh, not especially. I mean, you've seen 'em too, afterall.” 

He chuckled a little, memories coming back to him.

“Remember Mehrunes Dagon's quest to find that cursed dagger? That took us a week to round up...”

But Kharjo only replied with a confused glare. 

“I...don't know what you're talking about.”

Karmyn turned to him, confused as well. He went to say something, but his voice quieted down, slowly.

“...right. You weren't there.”

He turned his lowered head back to look at the path ahead. 

“Sorry, I...I just got a bit nostalgic here.”

Kharjo nodded, even though he didn't understand at first. Then it dawned on him that Karmyn, for what seemed the dozenth time this week, had mistaken him again for that _other one_.  
The thought made Kharjo's stomach twist unpleasantly. While he understood what little Karmyn told him about his heartbreak, he was starting to get tired of it. It's been weeks now! Why wouldn't he understand that this Argonian 'with scales of green jade and eyes like shining polar auroras' would never come back? Kharjo felt like the more this guy in Glass armor was in Karmyn's mind, the less progress they'd ever make in their quest. How could they go and slay dragons if the Dragonborn was daydreaming all the time about a lost lover?  
This couldn't go on forever. He'd have to turn the page eventually, of course, but the Khajiit felt like it would take another great deal of time. The guy was still prone to crying whenever he found something that reminded him of his former companion, afterall. And no heartbroken warrior could stand against the ruthless killing blows of a World Devourer that had no visible understanding of beast emotions.

“It's fine.”, Kharjo replied. “We'll get to see other Daedra together, afterall.”

Karmyn looked up, his blue eyes still covered in a thin layer of nostalgia. 

“Yeah...”, he sighed. “Yeah, we will.”

They've arrived at the top of the hill now. Karmyn stopped there for a moment, resting his legs after the climb. From there, they had a nice view of Falkreath, and the woods around.  
That view too was nostalgic. These houses, these people seen from above were reminding him of too much stuff he was fond of. He still remembered sharing this view with someone he deeply cared about, as they planned their life together, and even promised each other that one day, maybe…  
No, he shouldn't. The thought of what could have been, lingering in his mind, made his chest ache too much. He needed to focus, to think of something else, before the tears got to him again. So he breathed in deeply, and looked away, scouring the woods with his gaze.

“Tell me if you see anything odd.”

“I will.” 

Khajiits had good eyes, and were definitely better hunters than Argonians. While Karmyn wasn't bad either, he mostly relied on smell and sounds to find his target. But what kind of smell was he supposed to look for, if he didn't even know what the beast looked like? That's why he was staying on edge, listening carefully.  
The forest was silent, save for the rustle of wind in the trees. The flutter of a rockwarbler's wings, taking off from its nest. The faint sounds coming from town, such as voices, heavy steps, and the faint hooves of carriage horses.  
As he listened, however, Karmyn realized these hoofsteps were coming closer.

“Hear that?”

He tried not to move, keeping still. His tail was still faintly waving as a reflex, slithering slowly in the wind. Kharjo's ears were turning around, trying to find the source of the sound Karmyn had warned him about. Suddenly, an odd smell of musk came to their snouts, and Karmyn turned his head around.  
It wasn't a wolf, as he could have thought, but a stag. A big, ethereal white stag, with prongs so curved and elegant they looked like they were carved from fine spruce wood. Its body was strong, covered in silken fur with hues of fresh snow, that gently wavered in the faint breeze as if it wasn't done falling yet. Sturdy limbs were carried by coppery hooves that almost tinked as they touched the ground, each step sending slight and discrete tremors though the earth as the beast walked. And when it looked up, the beasts' gazes were met with limpid, sorrowful blue eyes.  
For a time only. As if it only now acknowledged their presence, the stag suddenly turned around and ran, like a snowstorm drifting away. Waking from his contemplating trance, Karmyn suddenly shook his head, recovering his mind.

“Quick, Kharjo!”, he called. “Let's follow it!”

Without even waiting for his follower, he rushed downhill, going after the majestic creature. He was nowhere near as fast as the animal, but he had dragon stamina to back him up. Stopping on a rocky ledge, he quickly drew his bow, and shot. The arrow grazed the white fur and lodged itself in a tree, but the beast didn't stop. It turned between trees, heading in the opposite direction from Falkreath's, its pace still fast and galumphing. But Karmyn wouldn't give up, and followed it, jumping over rocks and fallen logs to catch up with the stag. Breathing in, he shouted fire from his jaws, and nearly missed his target; but the animal didn't escape the burning clutches of his Thu'um, and cried a wallow of pain. Suddenly, it turned to him, its fur still set ablaze, and charged as if to retaliate; Karmyn drew his sword, stepped aside at the last moment, and sliced the buck's flank like a toreador. The beast staggered, and he hit again, cutting through fur and flesh with a long-earned ease. Finally, when the last flames put themselves off and his blade was soiled with blood, only then did the stag fall, after a last attempt at a defensive charge. It fell to its side, blood trickling down the soil path of the forest.  
Karmyn huffed in exhaustion, sheathing his sword back, nearly falling to his knees. That fight sure had been something, and he needed it. Quickly, he looted the carcass for venison meat and hide, and stayed in his half-sitting posture next to the fallen beast, waiting for something to happen.  
Needless to say, it didn't take too long. Soon, something even more ethereal appeared in front of him. Karmyn stood up as best he could, as he was faced with this strange creature he's heard the Companions speak of: half-man, half-deer, and a condescending tone like many of the Daedra Princes. 

“Well, if it isn't the Spirit of the Hunt himself.”, the Argonian snickered. “What brings you here, pal?”

Had he been anyone but the Dragonborn, Karmyn would likely have been killed a thousand times after death for addressing a revered godkin with such familiarity. But for some reason, he never got in any trouble for it. He's never spoken to any Divines, but Daedra Princes were pretty willing for him to discard all reverence, almost as if the Dovahkiin was on an equal standing with them. Well, he _did_ obtain a lot of favors from them over time, but business aside, he could feel there was something odd. It felt similar to whenever a dragon was talking to him, in words other than that of fire or ice attacks; each time it happened, he could feel just how alike they were. Dragons were high and condescending towards non-dov, but Karmyn could feel, he _knew_ these creatures considered _him_ their equal. As if he had wings, talons and a soul that couldn't die, just like them.  
Maybe Daedra could feel that, too. Maybe they too could see him as more than some dragon slayer.

“Tear the skin from his body, and make it an offering to me.”

Hircine's words brought Karmyn back from his thoughts. He hadn't even listened to what was asked of him.

“Huh? I mean, yeah. Sure, I'll do it. Don't worry.”

The deer-headed man grinned evilly, and disappeared in a cloud of ethereal smoke. Leaving Karmyn with some confusion, that vanished once his quests got updated.

“That guy's something.”, he shrugged. “Come on, Kharjo, we're going.”

But a quick glance around informed him that the Khajiit had disappeared.

“Huh.”

Leaving the stag's carcass, he went back on his steps, trying to find where his follower was. Maybe he's gotten injured? That perspective was rather awful to consider, even though Karmyn knew his follower was sturdier than that. Trying to not worry too much, he backtracked his steps, expecting to find a bloodied Khajiit lain behind every corner…  
But luckily, he never found anything of the sort. While he was bargaining with the Spirit of the Hunt, Kharjo had been curled up on himself behind a rock, arms over his head. When he heard the Argonian's footsteps coming closer, he looked up in fear, and Karmyn saw he's been shivering.

“Is...is that thing gone?”, he asked with a shaking voice. “The beast, is it…?”

“Hircine? Yeah, he's gone.”

Hesitantly, he helped Kharjo back on his feet.

“What happened? Were you hurt?”

The Khajiit shook his head. From what little body language Karmyn knew, the raised hairs and lowered ears proved he was in great distress.

“Were you hurt?”, he repeated softly. 

“No, but...Khajiit could have been! Oh, it was so terrifying!”

Terrifying? At the ridiculousness of that comment, Karmyn had to smother down a scoff in his throat.

“It was nothing but a mere apparition. I wouldn't have let it hurt you.”

“You speak of it as if you haven't just talked to the Hunter Cat! To a creature that shouldn't even be here! And now that we've killed its prized beast...”

“Oh, come on. Hircine and the Daedra are old pals, I collect their tokens all the time.”

At the look on Kharjo's face, it looked as if Karmyn had just uttered some blasphemous swearword.

“There's no being 'old pals' with the gods!”, he hissed, his tail swiping nervously. “Do you want to bring doom over us all?”

“Look, Kharjo my dear. You're being a bit too superstitious here, don't you think? Trust me.”

“It's not superstition anymore when deities start appearing at your whim! Do you know just what you're doing!?”

Karmyn was about to reply, give him some snide comment on how he knew _exactly_ what he was doing. But a thought later, he realized just how useless it would be. Kharjo was visibly someone stubborn in his beliefs, and trying to prove him otherwise wouldn't do much good. 

“No.”, he finally conceded. “No, I don't. You're right, I shouldn't mess with forces I don't understand.”

That reaction visibly surprised Kharjo, who likely would have suspected something much harsher from him.

“You do…?”

“Yeah...I mean. Daedra appear whenever they want, I can't stop them. But...I don't always realize how powerful are the forces I mess with.”

Even though the rewards are sometimes useful, he thought to himself as he ran a finger along the thorns of his mace of Molag Bal. 

“How about we get home for now? Sinding and his ring can wait for a time. Let him hide some more before we find him.”

“That sounds wise.”

Karmyn stretched his arms, and led the way out of the woods. They'd head back to Falkreath to fetch Frost and get some mead, then straight back to Whiterun to rest, since it was closer.  
As they walked on the stony dirt path, rain started to fall. Karmyn blinked; it's been a while since he's seen any.

“Oh, how nice. Look, Kharjo, we've got rain.”

“I can see that.”, he replied, a little nervously.

It was needless to say that in the dry and cold climate of Skyrim, rain was very appreciated. For Argonians at least, seeing how Kharjo was holding a book over his head to protect himself.  
Well, his loss. Karmyn took off his helm for a moment, letting water pour on his horns and snout; he let out a sigh of delight, as he walked to more open parts of the path.

“How relaxing...hm, if only rain could last a little longer.”

“I think it's lasting long enough as it is, no?”

“Oh, you've yet to see.”

He thought for a moment. There was a Shout meant to clear skies, right? He's always wondered of what use it could be, as dragons weren't usually bothered by weather. Maybe it existed so they could have better flight conditions, and a better visibility. Wait, could dragons even see the way other creatures do? He'd have to ask.

“A Clear Skies Shout, hmm...”

Behind him, Kharjo let out a relieved noise, already lowering his makeshift umbrella.

“Oh, thank you. You don't know how considerate this is of y-”

“ _Lok Mah Lom!_ ”

A sudden burst of white energy escaped Karmyn's mouth, towards the sky. Kharjo ducked down, hissing in fear at the loudness of his voice. Seconds later, it exploded in the clouds, and the rain gently calmed down.  
Kharjo looked up, somewhat relieved. Until he realized that he's already heard a sky-clearing Shout, and knew what it sounded like. _And they didn't sound like that at all._

“What...what did you do, exactly?”, he asked, his voice trembling.

Karmyn grinned, and opened up his arms to the sky.  
A second later, a stormy rain came pouring over them like a waterfall.  
It felt like pandemonium. At the sight, the _feel_ of this much rain, Kharjo ran under the trees, trying to get covered. But even the thick pine branches weren't enough to shield him, as leaves and twigs came undone, carried away by the thick pouring. It was as if these raindrops were tenfold their usual size, and a handful of them was enough to break down branches. Very soon, water came coursing down the slope path, like a torrent of washed-off dirt, leaves and pebbles. Animals were escaping, hiding in their nests and burrows, those later made difficult to enter as the ground was slowly turning to soggy mud. The clouds were dark, pouring over them without any break, as the wind got stronger and tilted the rain in a whole new direction, sending tree branches whipping about and howling in this beast-made storm.  
In the middle of this rainy chaos, Karmyn was walking slowly, eyes closed and arms open. He was smiling, actually _enjoying_ that whirlwind and these pouring buckets, smiling like a Sheogorath in his realm of madness. At one point, he started laughing, standing in the open, letting the water cascade over his armor and come to him as a breath of fresh air. His laugh echoed even stronger than the wind, stronger than the rain hitting trees and rocks and chasing after helpless Khajiits. This rain would likely harm a lot of crops and disturb animal lives for a while, but right now, he didn't care.  
He didn't care at all; if anything, it was a good outcome. To cause chaos on a whim, to use the Dovahkiin's power in such deviant ways...wasn't that the best way to get revenge on everything? Wasn't it the hugest 'fuck you' to those who held him in such a high and prestigious regard? It maybe was but a simple rainstorm, but what if he were...what if he were to do _more?_ What if he were to choose the path of destruction and chaos, of malice and doom, and prove that he was but a man like anyone? Someone who could get power-hungry, malicious, deceiving and capricious like anyone else?  
_Someone who wasn't a hero after all?_  
But chaos never lasted for long. When the Shout wore off after several minutes of raining destruction, when the skies finally cleared out after emptying themselves from a month's worth of water, and when the sun glistened over the remaining puddles and path streams left behind in the wreckage; when all of it quieted down, only did Karmyn open his eyes.  
And he was at a loss for words.  
Slowly, his arms dropped down, and his smile vanished from his face. He looked around him, not too sure of what had just happened. The paths around Falkreath looked like a hurricane had just been through, shaking down trees and tossing rocks over. The temperature had dropped down a lot, and only now did Karmyn realize he was shivering. 

“K...Kharjo?”, he called. “Where are you?”

The more he looked around, the more he realized what happened. Everywhere he turned, rainy devastation would be there to meet his eye, and face him with the aftermath of his whim. He tried to look away, to face something other than all these animal habitats he's destroyed and vegetation he's wrecked beyond repair, but there was no looking away from that nagging guilt that was growing stronger by the second.

“Kharjo! Please, where are you!?”

He started to run, looking all over the woods. The rain had fallen on a larger scale than he'd have thought, and more than the two of them have been struck. Luckily there hadn't been any thunder, but all the mud and rocks that had accumulated in various slopes showed early signs of a landslide. More than one tree had been uprooted, and more than one deer has been hurt in the chaos.

“Kharjo!!!”

His guilt turned into panic, as he ran and tried to find his follower; but only half an hour later did he find him. The Khajiit had found refuge in a rocky dent in the flank of a nearby cliff. He was curled on himself, completely wet, and his body language expressed such a terror that Karmyn feared for the worst, even as he ran to him. But when he got closer, the cat opened his eyes, and glared his slit-thin pupils at him.

“Why!? Why did you do that!?”, he shouted.

“I'm sorry...”, he panted, “I'm sorry, I was jus-”

“You were what? Wrecking havoc with elements? Messing around with your powers, just because you can!?”

Karmyn didn't know what to answer. He was honestly, genuinely at a loss for words. So he lowered his head, mumbling some words that got lost in his throat.  
Of course, Kharjo didn't accept this. He stood up, and Karmyn realized he was soaked to the bone, his fur dripping like a rag thrown into a river. His armor was creaking with every angry step forward, water trickling out of the joints and crannies. 

“Tell Khajiit!”, he said with a furious voice Karmyn's never heard from him.. “Khajiit told you not to do that, and you did it still!”

He was hissing, his gray eyes glowing menacingly. His tail was darting up like a spiked pole, that he certainly wouldn't be afraid to wield and swing at his face right now. Karmyn watched him come out of his hideout, anger and water pouring from him in almost equal manner; and he wasn't sure which option was best. He realized he couldn't say anything, or even move; as if slowly, some kind of fear was taking over him.

“Khajiit told you not to mess with nature. Not to mess with forces you don't understand.”

His voice was laced with a fury he was obviously trying to keep in check, as he advanced towards the paralyzed Argonian. 

“And what do you do the minute after? You do that exact same thing!! Just look at what you've done!!”

It's not like the signs of his mistake weren't omnipresent around them. A few feet away from them, a fox was trying to crawl out of a muddy hole it's fallen into. Two birds have fallen, struck by rope-thick raindrops, and couldn't fly back up. In the distance, the cries of farmers could be heard, crying over their ruined crops, and the ensuring starvation that would ensure. And yet, that wasn't including all the land damage, that surely would ripple through.  
And worst yet was, Karmyn knew it was all his fault. His conscious, aware, consenting fault.

“I'm sorry.”, he blurted out, once his jaw could move again. “I...I never meant to cause all of that!”

“Oh really? Then why did you, then?”

There was snide in his words, that hurt like daggers.

“You know your power is much more than simple magic! Don't tell Khajiit you can't handle it responsibly!?”

“Why, how was I supposed to know this Shout would be so powerful?”

“Because you used it _without even knowing what it would do!?_ ”, Kharjo shouted, not even bothering to hide his rage anymore. “Is that what they teach now at Winterhold? To indulge in recklessness, and leave others to clean up behind them!?”

In the days he's spent with Kharjo, Karmyn has never seen him so angry. His fur was raised like the barbs of a thorny bush, his teeth were out like a sabrecat's, and his voice was hissing and snarling as he spoke. 

“I thought you were someone reasonable. But you never learn! You keep making the same mistakes over and over again!!”

“I never learn?”, he suddenly replied. “Well look who's talking, Mr 'I can't even hold a bow to save my life'!”

He didn't know why he replied that. But he could see it struck: Kharjo's ears darted backwards.

“Is that how you mean to slay dragons, huh?”, he continued. “Are you gonna use your kitty claws to pierce their impenetrable scales?”

“Wh- don't change subjects!”, Kharjo snarled. 

“I'll change subjects if I want to!”

Why? Why was this reaction his current one, out of all the reactions he could have had instead?

“Is it _my_ fault you can't even handle some rain, now?”

“We're not talking about the rain, we're talking about you! About you and your stupid whims that could kill us all!”

“It's not my fault I can't control my impulses!”

Kharjo stared at him with utter disbelief, before snickering.

“Right. You can't control yourself at all, can you?”

His tone was filled with something Karmyn didn't get at first.

“What do you mean by that, now?”

“Don't you see? You can't control yourself at all. You need someone to keep you in check.”

“Someone to-? Hey! What's that accusation for?”

“Oh, don't take this tone with me. Can't you see? You've got the reasoning skills of a kitten! You can't think before you act, you need someone to drag you back before you set fire to everything like a criminal! Like a child to hold on a leash!”

Karmyn's chest felt heavy. That accusation was completely wrong and unfounded! Then why did he...why did he feel like _it was true_?

“I'm not a child!”, he talked back. “I'm perfectly able to make decisions for myself!”

“And to drown half of the Hold to see what a spell can do? Imagine if you'd set fire to it instead! We'd have died in the blaze, and you'd have been laughing like a maniac all the while!”

Laughing. The rain has been pouring, the storm has been threatening to break out, the winds have been blasting all around. And instead of controlling it, or trying to stop it...he just had stood there, and laughed.  
He had wanted this result...he wanted this chaos, this destruction, he _wanted_ it...but why!? What had gone through him!?

“I...I'm not a maniac!”, he replied with a growing stutter. “I'm not!”

“But you do the things a maniac do.”

Kharjo took a step closer, and Karmyn stepped back in return.

“They may respect you and idolize you, _Dragonborn_. But I've seen who you really are. You're a thief, a bandit who associates with the worst scum if it can give him some coin. I've heard stories from Riften, you know! I know what you're willing to do, whom you're willing to _kill_ for a few coins!”

“That's not true! I'm not-”

“You're the Hero of Skyrim and yet you don't care. You don't give a _k'sharraj_ about Alduin and the dragon threat! You could choose to get done with it right now, but it's been a year! And still the dragons are roaming, destroying towns and killing whomever they please!”

Karmyn could feel his breath hitching. He didn't like what Kharjo was saying, and the way he spoke to him. But worst part yet was that he had all the right to, and his words were but the truth. 

“Why?”, the Khajiit blurted out. “Why aren't you out there, doing the Greybeards' bidding and killing this dragon once and for all!?”

“Because I don't want to!!”

That answer escaped his mouth, before he could even think about it. Kharjo looked at him with wide eyes, and an expression that could either mean shock or disbelief. Or both.

“...what did you say?”

“I said I didn't want to, okay?!”

He didn't know why he's said that. But the more thoughts came through his mind, the more...the more he knew it was true.

“I don't want to kill Alduin. Not now. If I do it...”

His motives. Only now did he realize what was wrong with them. 

“If I do it now...I won't have anything else to live for.”

He didn't need to say it any further. For Kharjo had already understood.

“That's the most selfish thing I've ever heard.”

He stepped forward again, as if he was in the mood to hurt. To kill.

“That's what you are.”, he said, pointing an accusing finger at Karmyn. “You're a selfish, capricious, irresponsible coward. While you're here causing havoc and stealing from houses when no one's looking, people are dying and left homeless by the war and the dragons. Do you know how many have lost their loved ones to these wretched creatures? Have you ever thought of that?”

He scoffed, as if mocking him.

“I get it, now. You wait until they're left without anything before acting, so they turn to you and worship you like you did save the day. Like you didn't purposely wait until they have nothing left!”

“That's not true! I help people, I truly do! I went all the way to this creepy grotto to fetch your Moon Amulet back!”

“So I'd follow you out of gratitude! Isn't that the very first thing you've asked me, upon getting back to Khajiit's caravan?”

He wasn't lying, once again. He's skipped all the politeness and went straight to asking for Kharjo's help. He barely had bothered about what would happen to the rest of the caravan, without one of their bodyguards.

“An amulet can be replaced. A life can't. Yet you were more eager to save one than the thousands of others you've left to perish.”

“That's not true...”, he said weakly, as if trying to convince himself. 

“It is. Face it, Dragonborn. All you want is someone to do the dirty work for you, don't you?”

He showed his armor. An entire side of it was covered in entails and burn marks.

“You want someone to stand as your shield, don't you? To take the hits for you while you take all the fame?”

“No...”

There was something in his throat. Something heavy that made his breathing erratic and difficult.

“It's not...I...you're not my shield, Kharjo! You're my friend!”

“Your friend, huh?”

He unsheathed his Glass sword and Orcish bow. For a moment, Karmyn thought he was going to attack him; but before he knew it, the weapons were back into his own inventory. Same for his Daedric helmet.  
He's given them back.

“I rather had the impression I was but a mercenary.”

Something strange happened. As if something that was there a second ago...wasn't anymore.

“Now, if you excuse me. I have a caravan to protect. If a dragon comes out and attacks, they'll be defenseless.”

He glared at him; a dark stare, heavy of emotions he wasn't voicing.

“And I swore never to let that happen again.”

And before Karmyn could say anything, Kharjo ran away, onto the muddy track. Too soon, he was out of sight.  
Leaving Karmyn alone with his thoughts, and all the things he hadn't said.

“Well…well good riddance!”, he shouted, way too late. “I don't need your help, you...you kitten!”

He was bursting with anger. He kicked a pebble as hard as he could but missed, and slipped on the soggy path. He fell face down in the mud, and it didn't help his anger at all.  
He was in a rage. A rage against Kharjo, against Alduin, against himself. He couldn't believe all these hurtful things, that stabbed him like so many daggers each, all had bases. He couldn't believe the words he's said himself, the thoughts he's voiced through his own mouth. He couldn't believe he was actually this...this _monster_ Kharjo had described.  
A selfish, whimsical monster, who only cared about his own gain. Who caused more hurt and damage than help.  
Whose worse fault was that he couldn't even see the truth in face.

~~~~~ 

“Never thought I'd see you again.”

The voice startled him. He looked around to see where it came from, but his vision got dragged upwards by some script. Perched on a rocky cliff, the werewolf's silhouette was cut in jet black against the bright red of the Bloodmoon. 

“And yet I'm here.”, Karmyn replied.

He could have sword he heard the beast chuckle under his growling breath.

“Hircine sent me to kill you.”, he added, as if to clear himself out.

“And I can't blame you. The hunt has started, afterall.”

Karmyn sighed. He hated doing this. He hated having to take lives, all the time. He hated to leave all these bloodied paths behind him, as if nothing beside his own glory ever mattered. 

“I don't wish to kill you.”, he said after a time. “You're not a monster.”

“But I know I cannot return to live among people anymore.”

“Don't say that...”

His ears picked up the sounds of voices, the clatter of weapons. There were more hunters. They'd be here very soon, if they kept up their pace.

“If only there was another way. We could try to cure you!”

“There's no cure to be had, my friend. This...this _curse_ isn't anything that can be easily cured.”

“Believe me. I have no intention to harm you.”

He looked down, his voice quiet.

“I've done enough harm as is.”

Sinding didn't say anything. But slowly, his heavy and dark body descended from the cliff, until he was at Karmyn's level. He was an imposing beast, and Karmyn understood why previous hunters had had so much trouble killing him. If anything, they've wounded him quite a lot, seeing the blood streaking his fur.

“We could work together.”, Sinding offered. “As allies.”

“You mean...hunt the hunters?”

The werewolf nodded.  
Karmyn considered his options. Help a werewolf criminal escape his fate, and return safely to the wilderness; or kill him and please a Daedric Prince and reassure Falkreath's inhabitants. He knew a reward could be expected in both outcomes, but there still was a tinge of doubt in his mind.

“...if I help you, do you promise to never harm anyone again?”

“I promise. I will escape, into the woods, and never come back.”

Karmyn nodded. 

“Fair enough.”

He smiled, looking up at the beast.

“Well then, fellow wolf. What are we waiting for?”

He drew his sword, and they ran along on the path.  
The fight wasn't easy. Hunters were many, skilled, and fearless. Karmyn had to draw his old Dragonscale shield and put himself between them and the werewolf many times. But even though they had completely different ways to fight, their tag-teaming soon proved itself.

“Watch out!”

Karmyn raised his shield too late; the hunter had already shot their bow. But Sinding suddenly pushed him aside, and took the arrow in his arm.

“Thanks, pal. You okay?”

“I've known better.”, the werewolf sneered.

Karmyn breathed in, and Shouted at another hunter. The Orc fell into the stream, limbs frozen, and Sinding tore these apart with his maw. Quickly summoning a Fire Atronach, Karmyn ran through the vegetation-covered cave, and busted the archer out of their hiding spot. Dodging their arrows, he drew his poisoned sword, and stabbed through their stomach with bare efforts. The way being clear now, Sinding dashed through, and fiercely bit at a Khajiit who yelped in pain. Using a bit of necromancy, Karmyn got the archer on their side, and very soon the hunter fell limp. Karmyn drew his bow, ready to strike whoever came their way; but after a time, it became obvious the cave was now silent.  
He sheathed his weapons back, and looked at the wolf.

“The last of the hunters is dead. What now?”

Sinding looked around. Night had fallen without they noticed it, and the red light of the bloodmoon was long gone. Save for the bats and nearby stream, there was no sound around them. No wind to pick up the branches and leaves of the many plants that had grown in this open-sky cave.

“I'm not sure of what I will do.”, the wolf replied. “But...I think I'll stay here.”

“Here?”

“Away from people. Where...where I belong.”

Karmyn nodded, understanding.

“Well...this is goodbye, I guess.”

He patted the wolf's hand, quickly healing a nasty wound here. But as he walked away, he turned around a last time.

“You know...I liked fighting with ya. You've got some style.”

“You're not bad either, fellow wolf-blooded.”

He chuckled. Then, walking up the path ahead, he left the cave by the same way he's entered it.  
The rush of battle. The excitation of brawling. The feeling of knowing someone had his back. He's missed all of this, he's missed it without realizing it. Since he's been training Kharjo to become his new follower, he's stayed away from all of this, and he only know realized just how much it meant to him. How it was what he wanted, what he needed, what he was living for!  
What he had been stripped from!  
He knew he couldn't do without a partner. He was way too used to doing things with help. To have someone's back, and be protected in return. Since the moment he had Lydia at his service, he knew he couldn't come back to single fighting.  
But now, all seemed like it was his only option. And this perspective made him feel uneasy.  
As he exited the grotto, he tried to think of what to do now. Should he return home, and get some rest? After today's fiasco, he needed it. He needed some time alone, to think, and to plan what would be next.  
But before he could even open his map, a cold, bestial voice startled him.

“Well met, hunter.”

He turned around. The ethereal silhouette of a deer was there, back turned to him. And it was _mocking_ him.

“I see you have failed to bring me my prey.”

Karmyn scoffed. Who was that guy to boss him around in the first place? He didn't like that at all.

“Fuck you and your vile tasks.”

The deer turned around, as if offended by the vulgarity. But Karmyn didn't flinch.  
That's when the deer, somehow, _grinned_.

“Oh, but don't you see? By killing the hunters, you've turned the chase around.”

Karmyn squinted at him, warily.

“What do you mean?”

“That you made things much, much more interesting.”

The deer turned around again, head raised snobbishly. 

“You have prowess, hunter. Go forth, with my blessing.”

And before Karmyn could say anything, the deer disappeared.  
And the cursed ring fell off his finger.

“...what just happened?”

Karmyn tried to understand what had just gone on, but failed, so he dismissed it as some weird Daedric whim. Kharjo was right, afterall: potent forces were not to be messed with, because they were too busy messing up with you. With a groan of annoyance, he picked up the ring, looking at it for a moment. He honestly didn't intend to stay a werewolf for long, so he might as well give it to the Companions when he's back in Whiterun.

“Well, I think the moral of the story is, neither cats and dogs are to be messed with.”

He laughed at the joke, glancing around; but as expected, no one had heard it. As he looked down, his laugh slowly died down into a mere sigh; and for the first time in a while, Karmyn got dreaded over by a foreign, ever-growing feeling of loneliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Lok Mah Lom_ : "Sky Fall Water", a Rainstorm Thu'um. There's a reason why Karmyn can make up his own Shouts.  
>  _K'sharraj_ : Ta'agra expletive, usually used as an insult.
> 
> Oh well, this chapter didn't quite ended the way I intended to, but the character development was just too tempting. Maybe the next will be the happy one.
> 
> Also! You'll notice the total number of chapters is no longer a mere question mark. I have a very rough outline of future chapters and events, and it might change quite a bit (it always does.), but I think this story is reaching its end soon. Don't cry, it's gonna be fine! I'm 90% sure I won't choose the Bad Ending. (but 10% sure I will. be prepared.)


	22. Silverdrift Lair

Karmyn's fingers nervously scratched on the stone surface of the bench, his eyes staring at the ground. His snout picked up the scent of the little dragon's tongue candle that he's set to burn on the small altar, a flickering light reflecting on the shrine's polished surface. Bathed in a ray of moonlight, the upper cave rocks were projecting their shadow on the imposing statue there, so that only the lindworm with a sword pointing to its chest could be seen in the darkness. There was no sound around, not even the rustle of wind in the grass.  
Slowly, the Dragonborn raised his arm, and a shiny light came floating from his fingers, floating up to the ceiling of the rocky dents, where its sister had been some minutes ago. The light made Karmyn's eyelids close shut for a moment, before he got used to it again; in his contemplation, he's barely noticed the darkness that had come around him when his previous Magelight had died out. Yet he realized it between two moments of staring, when he saw with a frightened shiver that everything had gone black.  
Illuminated by that magic orb, the stone traits of Tiber Septim, deified by an expert carver's hand, were looking down at the lone Argonian. The latter tried to hold his empty stare, as if looking for some sign of life in this inanimate man. The hand that had thrown another magic light slowly lowered, blood getting back into his limb, and his gloved fingers wrapped around the pendant hanging on his chest, the one shaped like the purplish shrine standing on the altar; he stared at it for a moment, contemplating. His touch was hesitant, unsure, reflecting his blossoming doubts. So he looked up again, with more intensity this time, his blue eyes asking all that his lips wouldn't voice.  
Of course, there was no answer. Even though he hold his stare for almost a minute, he eventually gave up, looking away. His head was buzzing with thoughts, so much that he couldn't possibly express them. He knew he should at least try, but he felt like it would be useless all the same.  
Following the metal chain of his pendant with a finger, he soon met with a thin leather strip. He knew this one too: trailing down again, he touched to the silver ring, whose perfect amethysts shone a light periwinkle under the magic light. Only seeing this trinket made the Dragonborn's chest feel heavy, as it was now usual; his feelings were strong, strong to the point he's decided to craft this ring himself, using only the finest silver. He's spent a week making sure it was perfect, that the many engravings were perfectly woven together, like the gleaming branches of a Hist tree. Yet looking at it has only saddened him since the lovers' separation; but now, another feeling was blooming in his heart. Some sort of determination, of wishful will. A need to fix things, to mend to the wounds he's cut. A foreign, but relieving sense of hope, that someday this ring would find its righteous place on his beloved's finger.  
And even further up his chest, held in place by a mere rope that once served as a shoelace, was the small leather pouch. It wasn't too heavy; it was actually so light, he could forget about its existence for months at a time. But it weighed on his heart and his mind like dwarven metal, ever sinking into his soul. These seeds have taken root in his heart, and were drinking his lifeblood like the water of a mere murky pond. Now that they were here, they would never be uprooted again., and their existence would drain him of all sap and life until he was no more than a ghost of his past self.  
What scared him wasn't admitting to his crime. He's done it once, he could do it again. What was dreading to him, however...was to break his beloved's expectations. To admit that he's never been a highborn, a noble, or even someone respectable. That the man Derkeethus had fallen in love with was but an orphaned runt, an outcast servant, a blasphemous thief. That the reason why he could never return home was that he had a death sentence pending over him.  
That since the start, he's proved to be a criminal.  
But he's changed. He's changed since these times, when he was but a helpless child who wanted to escape a slave's life. He's ran away from home, to build a new life in another province, where he could forge himself a new identity. One that people could respect and even admire. He's become the Dragonborn, the most important person in Skyrim, the one so many depended upon.  
But then again, there was this doubt: would Derkeethus ever love a liar with a constructed identity? Would he try to pry into his past, and uncover the darker truth Karmyn had tried so hard to conceal? Would he pull the old “if you loved me, you'd tell me” dilemma, that would leave Karmyn with more and more doubts on what side to pick? He's done it once, he could do it again. As of right.  
To reveal the hideousness of his past, or lose his lover forever. Such were Karmyn's only options.  
For maybe the hundredth time in the last two hours, he looked at the statue's face again, his eyes desperately pleading for answers. He needed a sign, a clue, anything that could help him. But for the past two hours, nothing of the sort had happened. And yet he stayed, waiting for something that likely would never happen. For some stubborn reason, he refused to move, not yet. He was waiting and would be waiting until he had what he wanted. Until at least some of his many questions were answered.  
The candle's light flickered in the rising breeze. Fearing it might be blown off, Karmyn stood up, readying a gentle flame on his finger. And that's when he saw.  
Right at the foot of the small stone altar, some plants were growing. Mountain flowers, and the usual wild weeds. And between them, hidden by the shadows, were some thin stems of lavender.  
Karmyn picked a couple of them, putting them to his snout for a moment. The smell of lavender...yes, it's become familiar to him. It reminded him of _his_ scent. These flowers were his favorite, after all. Raising his eyes, he looked at the candle again, which smelled of his own favorite flower. With a slight smile, he picked a fresh dragon's tongue flower from his inventory, and put together a small bouquet.  
He held it to his lips for a moment, as the scents mingled together into one. This smell wasn't particularly good, and any florist could say so; but it was their signature scent, in a way. He didn't know of any possible way to make these plants into a useful potion, but it didn't matter; for he could keep them together without need to destroy them.  
In fact, he even had an idea.  
Gently, he tied the two flowers together with a piece of string. Putting them on the altar, he then opened his neck pouch, pulling out one of the gleaming purple seeds. He examined it for flaws or cracks, shook it a little to listen to the sound inside, and deemed it perfect. Choosing a nice patch of dirt down the slope outside the shaded-over shrine, he started digging a small hole.  
He's sometimes thought of planting his Hist seeds. But he was afraid they would never grow. He didn't know the slightest thing about what kind of care these trees needed, how long they took to grow, and if they could ever withstand the poor Cyrodillic soil. As for Skyrim, he's never tried either, busy as he has been with dragon business ever since he set foot in its borders. But if he couldn't carry them around his neck for the rest of his life either.  
Once he deemed the hole wide enough, he built a small dirt mound in the middle. There, he made another hole with his fingers, where he buried the seed. Before sealing it underground, he wrapped his fingers around his pendant, and muttered an old Argonian prayer in his native language. He didn't know many of these, and his words were hesitant; after all, who cared whether Argonian orphans meant to be slavemeat had Sithis's good graces or not? All he could do was ask the Hist to accept that sapling as part of itself, and to watch over it.  
His deed done, he laid a couple lavender flowerheads and dragon's tongue petals right next to the seed, and buried them together. Then, using a bucket to fetch some water in the nearby river, he slowly filled the miniature ditch, creating some sort of tiny pond with a dirt island in the center.  
Now, whether or not it would grow, he didn't know. He wasn't even sure of why he was doing that for. Maybe it was his own way to reunite their two souls with the Hist. He wasn't sure he expected this tree to grow, or to ever bear fruit; but he didn't care for now. Still, he pulled a minor Magicka potion from his inventory, and slowly poured its contents into the now-muddy water of the ditch. It gained a faint blue tint, that glistened under the moonlight.  
He watched it for a moment, pondering about with thoughts, before standing back up. As if to agree with him, a small breeze blew off the shrine candle, leaving him in darkness. He let out a sigh of resignation.  
What would happen now, would happen.

~~~~~

The awkward, light sound of a lute could be heard that night, as Neetrenaza's fingers hesitantly plucked at the strings, playing what could have been a traditional Black Marsh song. But it's not as if Karmyn knew how the melody went, afterall. So he didn't do anything to correct him, and kept staring ahead, a barely-touched bottle of ale in hand, watching the light of the candles reflect on a bronze pot.  
Sitting next to him, Scouts-Many-Marshes was digging into a piece of slaughterfish, talking with his mouth full about something random and of little interest. The Dragonborn would have been interested in his dialogue, possibly, if the boy's words wouldn't have been laced with hints of interest; as always, of course. So he was only half-listening, and pretending to care about the next shipments or some idealistic reverie.  
On the other hand and the other side of the Cornerclub's seats, Shahvee was as silent as he was. She knew from what little elements she had from Karmyn that the latter wasn't in the mood for talking. Hence why she let him sulk his sorrows away, head in his arms, while gently rubbing his back with difficulty, as it was clad with thorns and armor plates. Karmyn didn't really mind, but he kept wishing he didn't even need consolation in the first place.  
Taking a lazy sip of ale, he kept his eyes on the wall behind the counter, head buzzing with thoughts. He thought that inviting his friends for a drink would make him feel better, and give him some company, but he wasn't in the mood for chattering or smiling. He didn't know how he felt; it was a mix of sadness, confusion, and inherent loneliness. Even with his Hist-brothers around him, trying to cheer him up, he felt like something was missing. And that thought was too hard to bear, even when he tried to drown it in alcohol and adventures as usual. It was like relieving the initial separation again; but this time, Karmyn knew better than to complain.  
For the cause of his spleen wasn't the loss of his lover, but the slow realization that this loss, this breakup were completely justified. Karmyn was draped in mystery and shrouded in secrecy, so much that the slightest question about his past made him flip out. He's kept asking himself about it, asking why he's reacted like that.  
No one's ever bothered to know about him. No one's ever asked questions about the Dragonborn's sudden reappearance in Tamriel. They've all been surprised at first, and disbelieving, but once the initial shock passed, no one was even bothering to ask anymore. And yet Derkeethus did.  
He's wanted to know about Karmyn's past. He's wanted to know about his origins, his roots. He had assumed Karmyn would tell him, would trust him with that big and mysterious secret. And yet Karmyn's reacted like this mere question had betrayed his trust beyond repair.  
But the more he thought about it, his mind hazy with sleepiness and regret, the more he knew that was stupid. What secret was there about his own past? It's not like he had anything to hide, besides the theft of the seeds. And even then, Derkeethus would have understood...yes, he would have. He came from a poor background as well, and even though he was pious enough to possibly be shocked at Karmyn's past actions, he would have understood his motivations. His fears. He maybe wouldn't have agreed, but he certainly would have known Karmyn's train of thought when faced with a chest full of priceless relics, that could have bought his way out of slavery.  
If Karmyn had told him his story, then Derkeethus would have stayed. Derkeethus, unlike anyone before, had wanted to know the man behind the mask of Dovahkiin. Because it's hasn't been the Dovahkiin that first invited him to adventure, that gave him battle equipment and a purpose to fill; it was _Karmyn_. His nature of Dragonborn was eventually revealed later, of course; but in the first days when it didn't even matter, Derkeethus had still accepted the hand of a lone, adventurous kin, whom he only knew as the one who saved him from the traps of Darkwater Pass.  
This was Derkeethus's first impression of him. A random adventurer, who never showed him anything but kindness and friendship. And it was this first impression that he had wanted to know further. But Karmyn has taken it as an insult, a threat to his entire facade. The facade of the strong, mighty Dragonborn, who appeared out of nowhere and would disappear just as quickly once his duty was done. This facade that he had to hold for everyone.  
Yet on that moment, in the tower atop Faldar's Tooth, he's forgotten that Derkeethus has never been part of this everyone. But now, he remembered; and he would make sure to never forget again.  
Karmyn finished his bottle, putting it back on the counter, before standing up. Greeting his kin with a silent sign of his head, he put his thorny helm back on, and left into the streets of the Gray Quarter.

~~~~~

If there was something Karmyn was afraid of, it was darkness.  
Now, it wasn't a completely crippling fear. It wasn't something that could paralyze him in terror, make him scream or cry; at least not anymore. But the feeling of something lurking in the unknown, the anxiety of walking on an unseen trap or falling down a ledge, were what put him on edge almost every single time. To fight an enemy without seeing them, while they could see him, was something he hated and feared. He couldn't get peace knowing something could be out there in the shadows, waiting to ambush him.  
No one knew, luckily. He's managed to silence it quite well so far. Even the most forgotten caves in Skyrim were lit by stray torches and lanterns, and the night was rarely without the stars or the moons to guide him. Plus, with his mastery of Illusion magic, he could easily spawn a hovering light wherever he needed.  
He wished he'd had that kind of magic, back then. Back when he was escaping Blackrose and the An-Xileel; back when dark, shady woods were his only refuge, back when he hid by day and traveled by night to not be seen. Back when he was afraid of monsters that lurked in the marshes, back when every rustle of grass was a killer's footsteps coming closer. Back when there was nothing but night after night of darkness, without as little as a flame to light his path in the muddy areas filled with thick and dangerous vegetation.  
Lydia had never commented on his initial fear of caves and dungeons, mostly out of duty than anything else. If anything, she had waited patiently until he'd be ready to progress through a very shady ruin; and in the rare times it got really bad, she'd have a torch and some obligatory comfort words ready. That's about when he realized that company was the best way to help his fear: a follower could protect him, hold a torch to light the way, and reassure him that there were no monsters in the dark but those of his imagination. With time, he managed to overcome his fear; but when it got too dark too suddenly, when the world was disappearing from sight, then would he be freaking out, and then would the fear come back, for it never truly left.  
Silverdrift Lair was dark. It was much darker than the usual places he'd go through to find Words of Power. Hovering in front of him, his Magelight was feebly gleaming, looking as if it would be swallowed by the shadows at every step, every corner. Karmyn was on edge, knowing a Draugr could be lurking right in front of him, and his light could turn off any moment now, leaving him defenseless. He did his best to not think about it, as he kept going through corridors and barely-lit rooms, watching with anxious eyes. In the silence of his solitude, his echoing steps were the only sound he could hear. No faint sniffles or low humming, not even the occasional clatter of a staff on the ground. No voice to keep him company, to reassure him with its familiarity.  
Only darkness and silence, ever closing on him.  
He wished he had brought someone along, he thought for the hundredth time as an odd sound made him turn around. Maybe one of the Companions, or a hireling. Or even Meeko! But the poor creature wouldn't have stood a dungeon adventure, sadly, and Karmyn didn't want his pet's death on his mind. So he kept going, alone as usual, trying not to think too hard about his solitude. Only his quest, his goal, the reward he'd expected to find in this place. The thrill of adventure! The excitement of finding a new Word of Power, hidden beneath his feet! The dangers that lurked, that made his life exciting and adrenaline rush in his blood every time he would draw his sword! Surely a bit of darkness couldn't affect his love for exploring new and unknown dungeons, right? Exploring was easy, just like brawling with wild animals. He could do it.  
Keeping up that mindset, Karmyn progressed through the lair, avoiding trap after trap, searching for a door's handle everywhere for almost an hour, fighting off Draugr and skeletons with his usual courage and fearlessness. Naturally, after being used to tag-teaming for so long, single-handedly battling against Draugr Deathlords wasn't the easiest of tasks. He wasn't very at ease with it anymore; gone were the days where he would solo every dungeon, running through like a maniac. Although these days were gone ever since he had gotten Lydia at his side, since that time when he's learned the importance of having a companion right near.  
Another noise startled him. Quickly looking through his spell to find the Magelight again, he stumbled upon his Conjuration menu, and in a fast thought changed plans. With a flick of his hand, Seeker the ethereal wolf appeared at his side. It looked around for a moment, but didn't move, staying still. Karmyn felt relieved: that meant there weren't any monsters right near.  
The presence of the wolf somewhat eased things. It didn't make any sound when walking, and barely reacted when he spoke to it; but he didn't mind, happy to have someone helpful at his side, if only to listen to his few comments on how creepy the place was. But after a time, the familiar vanished, leaving Karmyn alone again.  
Luckily, he was reaching the end of the dungeon, judging by the enemies' strength. He was keeping his Shouts ready, his inventory prepared. He's stacked on some food at the New Gnisis, but he wondered if that would be enough. These undead were pretty strong, and he wasn't trained enough in Restoration to make the bigger ones flee. He'd need to practice some more in that domain, before he tried to take on bigger targets. It could also be useful to have some quick healing spells, instead of destructive ones, for once. That could easily save his life.  
If only he had some sort of quick healing technique that could boost his regeneration. Something like very tough skin, infused with the energy of the Hist. Something he would _actually_ remember he had, for once.  
By the time he reached the last door, his breath was panting. The last enemy had wounded him quite badly, and he leaned against the hard stone of the wall to rest, a hand pressed on his arm. Digging through his inventory, he picked a couple venison chops, trying to get his health back to normal before continuing. After a time, the pain numbed down, and he swung his arm with ease again. Feeling satisfied, he pursued further, opening the door to the last room.  
Battling a Dragon Priest was never easy. One shot was enough to deplete his health down to half if he wasn't careful. But Karmyn wasn't stupid enough to let himself be attacked at full-front; plus, he had his Atronachs to help distract the creature while he took down the lesser undead, as to focus on his main foe. The voices coming from the Word Wall were a reminder of his reward, the prize of his adventure; all he had to do was to keep hitting. Again, and again, ignoring the pain, quickly healing himself and coming back at it. His mace hit bone, armor, weird wispy matter, but he didn't stop. Potion after potion, he healed himself back to full health, and attacked with stubborn determination, unwilling to give up. He couldn't give up now. He had a mission, a quest to fulfill. And he would do it! He would do it on his own!  
He'd prove them he didn't need anyone!  
It took him a long time, weakened as he was, but he did it. With a final blow, the boss's corpse fell down, its armor breaking down and scattering into pieces. Karmyn fell on his knees, breath panting, spitting some blood; he needed to heal, quickly, but he couldn't waste any more potions, self-conscious of his pitiful stock. So he laid on the ash-covered ground, and let his Histskin heal his cuts and bruises, as he tried to catch his breath. He was worn-out from the fight, and pretty badly wounded, but he's done it.  
And that alone was enough to bring a faded laugh to his mouth.  
Several minutes later, he managed to stand up, wobbling a little. Ugh, his head was still dizzy; maybe he should have waited some more before engaging in recklessness. But here he was, here he's won. Still with a triumphant smile on his lips, he read the Word Wall and unlocked a new part of Shout, looted the chest and urns, and left the lair through the usual passageway. Outside, the cold night air welcomed him, the moons shining high under the greenish light of the auroras.  
Not knowing what to do, he kept walking, down the snowy path. He needed some distraction. Something to take his mind from his loneliness, and that growing feeling of dizziness. Maybe he's hit his head too hard, but he wasn't feeling too well. Had he even slept in the past few days? He would need to...yeah, all that sulking had made him forget to take care of himself. He'd also need a solid meal or two...was it possible he's caught something from that bear attack earlier? It was silly, Argonians could survive things like scale pox, tail leeches and that fever that'd turn people into trees. A bit of bone break wouldn't hurt, right? Although, if it did, he might have to reconsider fighting wild animals with his bare fists 'to have something to do'.  
He felt tired. But Whiterun wasn't far, he could easily make it on foot. Plus, the fresh air would help him feel better, and the many plants he'd pick on the way would replenish his ingredients supply. He was running out of poisons, these days.  
The night was still dark, although possible bits of dawn could be seen. He was sure day would break when he'd enter the city, which could already be seen in the background. Karmyn let out a sigh of relief, already picturing what he'd have for dinner. Maybe venison stew, or roasted pheasant. Or one of Hulda's delicious apple pies. That was the first meal the two Argonians ever shared: apple pie. Maybe that explained why he's grown a liking for it.  
But as he kept thinking of warm and tasty food, the skies suddenly roared.  
He barely had time to look up, before ice rained from the sky. He ran out of the way, trying to find cover between rocks, and looked out at the creature once the hail breath stopped. A Frost Dragon? In the Whiterun Hold? What was going on?  
The beast flew in a circle above the plains, blasting its breath at the bandits that have been lingering on the other side of the area; these low-level renegades couldn't stand a chance against such a tremendous creature. Karmyn drew his bow, and aimed- only to miss his target. Dragons were difficult to hit with arrows, even with their size. But he didn't lose hope, and dashed forward despite his tired muscles. He looked up, and tried to hit it with Dragonrend, but the dragon was quicker, and blasted more ice at him. He quickly gobbled down a potion of Resist Frost, as well as a couple healing potions; that's when he saw he didn't have a lot left. He'd need to be quick, and efficient if he wanted to make it alive.  
He summoned a Fire Atronach. It was the weakest of his elemental summons, but it had a type advantage and could attack remotely. Switching to another hideout, he poisoned his bow, and waited for the dragon to be still enough to fire. He managed to shoot a couple arrows into its flank, before the beast roared and took off again. This time, he didn't miss it when Shouting, and the Dragon's body gleamed a blue light before it was forced down as if nailed to the ground. There, Karmyn equipped his Mace of Molag Bal, and rushed to attack; never on the front, not from behind either, he was aiming for the wings, the relatively most safe spot to attack on a dragon of such level. The beast tried to bite him, to stomp on him, and succeeded in making him stagger. The Shout's effect then came to a stop, and the dragon took off again, not without leaving trails of blood trickling down from its body to the ground. Karmyn had lost quite a deal of health, and quickly swallowed whatever food he could find in his inventory, which was mostly raw meat. It wasn't a lot, but it would do for now...given he quickly slays that dragon.  
A blast of frozen spikes interrupted his thoughts. Quickly strafing to the side, he managed to escape it, although the cold still affected him. He equipped some fire spells, but the dragon was incredibly hard to aim at, moving and changing directions by the time the spell was charged. Abandoning this strategy, Karmyn attempted to get it to land down again, with more or less success. Switching to his sword, he went for faster strikes over damage, compensating for the difference with his last poison vials. But a dragon of this power wasn't affected by fear of weakness, so his efforts were quite vain. He swung his sword, despite the ache in his arm, and tried to block the dragon's jaws from closing on him. Its sharp teeth left dents on his shield, attempting to pierce through, but his stance held on. He did his best to push that huge mouth away, stabbing at his snout with his sword like an oversized knife. He wouldn't lose, not now! But he wasn't in the best of situations either. The dragon's thrusts were only attenuated by the shield, and the dreading cold of its breath was still stinging at Karmyn's skin through his armor. He was losing his footing, step back after step back. He quickly searched through his inventory, trying to replete his stamina and health, but he saw with horror that he was out of red potions.  
The dragon roared, and threw its thorny head forward. Karmyn ducked under his shield, but the blow of the monstrous skull was so hard, that the Dragonscale Shield broke into pieces. Karmyn staggered and fell on the rocks, and the dragon's neck rose again. He tried to crawl away, to regain his balance, but he suddenly fell the sharp sting of teeth into his flank.  
It was a pain like no other. The dragon's icy chompers were biting into him like he was but a piece of meat, and Karmyn felt an entire side of his chest turn cold. Terribly cold. His body suddenly rose in the air, dragged upward by these bone hooks sunk into his skin, and he understood with terror that the dragon was about to devour him. He tried to move, to fight back, but one of his arms was paralyzed by pain and the other was bleeding, hanging limp into the creature's throat. He kicked around, his feet only hitting air as everything around him turned upside-down, as the sky was suddenly beneath him and as he caught a glimpse of the dragon's red, gaping, deadly throat…  
And suddenly, he heard an odd sound. Something like a dog's bark.  
The dragon suddenly moved, its head violently jerking away. Karmyn felt the grip of its teeth release, and his body hit the ground with a loud clatter of armor. The impact only dug into his wounds even more, and he let out a cry of pain. He didn't know how much health he had left, but he knew it wasn't much. Forcing his eyes open, he tried to see what was going on, turning his head with difficulty to look at the dragon.  
Something was battling against it. Something small, and blue. An animal. Karmyn tried to raise his head, and heard the continuous barking and roaring of the creature. A _familiar._  
He tried to reach out to Seeker, to control it. To guide it back to safety. But as he tried to open the mental connection he had with his spirit wolf, he got confused. He couldn't feel it. Was the link between the two of them weakening? Could he not control his familiar anymore? But that's when he realized, and it hit him even stronger than a dragon's whipping tail, that this wolf over there _wasn't Seeker_.  
The other familiar was strong, and stubborn. It looked more like a Nord dog than a true wild wolf, and had the strength to prove it. It was biting at the dragon's ankles, angering the creature even more as it tried to hit and harm that already-dead being. As the dog attacked, a whistling sound was heard, and an arrow lodged itself right between the dragon's forelegs. The reptile looked up, roaring in fury, and another arrow ended up in its throat, soon followed by a bolt of lightning.  
Karmyn didn't understand what was going on. He tried to sit up, to ignore the pain in his arms, but fell back down, his tail getting painfully stuck under his body. The dragon whipped its neck, this time hitting the dog and reducing it to nothing, flapping its bloody and broken wings. But the familiar came back, running from a point beyond the rocks. Karmyn did his best to turn his head, to see where it had gone from.  
There was someone there. Someone with a bow, standing and shooting in rapid intervals. Using their vantage point to fire, they were dealing quick, rapid shots in succession, before switching weapons and dashing closer, attacking with storm spells. In the haze of his sight, Karmyn couldn't make up what they looked like; all he saw was the black tint of their armor.  
He needed to do something. He needed to help. Raising a pained arm in the air, he looked through his spells. Nothing he could do would be of use, not in this state. Unless…  
He looked at the stranger, aiming as best as he could. Focusing what little of his mind he had left, he cast a spell, that hit the other fighter in a blast of teal light. The blurry silhouette stopped, visibly confused, before dashing forward even faster, visibly affected by Karmyn's spell of Courage.  
He then let his head fall down, his heart beating too fast to his ears. He couldn't see what was going on, his Daedric helm having ended askew and blocking part of his field of vision. He could hear the glint of a blade, grunts of efforts, and barking. Roars of pain, Words of Power, and the ever-growing threat of ice creeping over. He looked through his inventory again, but found there was nothing that could possibly heal him now. He was defenseless, left without even knowing what was going on right next to him.  
Suddenly, the roaring stopped. A moment later, something heavy fell on the ground, sending tremors through his body that made him yelp of pain again. In the warmth of his armor, he could feel the moist and disgusting feeling of blood seeping through his wounds.  
There was nothing for a time. Then, footsteps. Coming his way. He tried to move, to look up, but his eyes refused to open. He couldn't see the stranger's face as they approached; and Karmyn realized that they wouldn't even see his', as his entire body was hidden in Daedric craft, including his tail that was still stuck under him. He tried to move, to speak, but he heard the sound of a bowstring being drawn.  
That's when he understood he was going to die. Slain by some hunter, who had mistaken him for a demon. He tried to fight back, to resist it, but the sweet embrace of darkness took over him.  
Right before he lost consciousness, he heard the dragon's body starting to crumble into ash.

~~~~~

He felt cold.  
His body was aching, pain stinging from everywhere. His muscles were sore, numbed down, as if he hadn't used them in ages. His body wasn't responding, and he was only vaguely aware of it.  
Then, something warm pressed into his pain, and it stung like crazy.  
He tried to assess what was going on. He could barely feel his body, but he could feel it nonetheless. Fatigue had taken over him, keeping his eyes closed and his muscles unresponsive. But he forced himself to open his eyes; it only lasted a second, for the light was too bright. He shut them back down reflexively.  
Xhuth. Bright lights were never good.  
He tried again after a time, slowly. Pins and needles were coursing through him, as he was regaining control of himself bit by bit. He opened his eyes, and this time let them get used to the light; turns out it was actually quite dim, and he's only been surprised by it.  
He tried a couple more times, before he finally managed to keep them open for longer than two seconds. He saw the wooden roof above him, held by beams and flimsy planks. He tried to smell his surroundings, and was met with a familiar scent he didn't recognize at first. Strangely, his field of vision was bigger; moving his limbs a little despite the ache, he saw his armor had been removed. He started to panic, looking around, and saw the Daedric armor had been put away in a corner by the bed. A couple glances around later, he recognized his surroundings: Breezehome, in Whiterun.  
The pain had numbed down a bit, enough so he could move his arm. Weakly, he felt around himself, patted down the blanket spread over him. He looked underneath, and saw quite a lot of bandages covering his wounds. The dragon didn't miss: his entire stomach and right flank were bandaged. His arm was smelling of something weird, maybe some plant medicine. He also had a lot of smaller cuts and bruises, that have been patched up in a similar manner.  
He heard some footsteps, and the wooden stairs creaking. Anxiety washed over his body, as he watched the shadow on the wall getting bigger, lit by a hall candle. And when the stranger entered the bedroom, he thought his eyes were deceiving him.

“You're awake.”

Karmyn didn't take his eyes off the other, as he was putting a food tray on the bedside cabinet. He watched him with wide eyes as he went to fetch something in a bag put on a nearby chair, coming back with what looked like a potions vial, that he put between the soup bowl and bread. And when his hands started glistening, he still didn't say a word, even when the Healing spell washed and lightly stung over his wounds.  
He was at a loss for words. He couldn't believe the events that were unfolding in front of him. He thought he was dreaming, and he'd wake up soon, half-dying under a dragon's corpse.  
After a time of silent healing, however, he felt something rise in his throat. He tried to speak, but his words slurred out, before he could try again.

“You came back.”, he finally managed.

Green eyes looked back at him, filled with an emotion Karmyn didn't understand. But in his current state, he couldn't understand a lot of what was going on; until his soft voice spoke again.

“Yes. I came back.”

His healing finished, Derkeethus withdrew his hands, replacing the bandages on Karmyn's stomach. His hands felt oddly familiar on his skin, even though their touch was different. As if his hands had lost all intimacy they had before.

“Now, come on. You gotta eat something.”

He sat at Karmyn's bedside, and pulled the food tray his way. The Dragonborn didn't really understand what was going on, until a spoonful of boiled vegetables was gently pressed to his mouth.

“Come on. Open up?”

He hesitated, not knowing what was going on. But now that it was mentioned, he did feel pretty hungry. So he reluctantly opened his mouth, and accepted the food he was presented with.  
His cooking was still the best in all of Tamriel. Even though he barely had the strength to eat, he would accept food if only for that.  
It seemed to last for an hour or more. Derkeethus was slowly feeding Karmyn, patiently waiting for him to finish a bite before offering another. He also insisted that he had some medicine, as bone break fever did quite a number on his health. Karmyn had no real choice but to accept, feeling both physically weak and quite embarrassed, as well as lacking any form of understanding. As he ate, he tried to study the other, as if to see something he hadn't seen before.  
The Glass Armor was gone; now, Derkeethus was wearing some mismatched set of Leather and Scaled armor pieces. It gave him something like a hunter's looks, Karmyn thought. Through the joints, his bruised and cut scales could be seen, although most were healed by now. His hands were covered in small wounds as well, and the remains of an ugly gash marred his tail. And if his melancholic expression was any indication, he's obviously been through a lot.  
Karmyn didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected any situation like this to ever happen. So he stayed silent, accepting bite after bite of food without as much as a groan of protest. He stood it for as long as it lasted, until the last bits of cheese got eaten and the dishes put away. Then only did Karmyn manage to speak.

“How did you find me?”, he asked weakly.

“Where there are dragons, there's a Dragonborn.”, Derkeethus replied, as if it were obvious. "Although, I was starting to give up hope now.”

Karmyn tried to sit up, resting his back against a pillow. Most of the pain was gone, by now.

“I have to admit, I thought you were a Daedra summon, at first. But I don't know of any Daedra who could absorb a dragon's soul.”

So _that's_ what saved him. A dead dragon's body crumbling away. Why did it always have to be a dragon's death that would give him away?

“Where did you get that armor, anyway? I can't imagine how much ebony you've spent on it.”

“Oh...Winterhold. And you know, I'd ask you the same.”

To his great surprise, Derkeethus chuckled. And that sound, that elusive and marvelous sound rang like a glass bell in Karmyn's ears.

“Crafted it. Leather's from hunted pelts, iron I mined myself. It's all hard work.”

Of course he wouldn't want to wear the Glass Armor anymore. It was only fair he'd prefer something he's made and earned himself, rather than a condescending gift offered to a newbie follower. Of course.

“Oh- don't put your head down, now.”

His tone was comforting more than condescending. He felt Derkeethus's hand gently brush against his cheek, and Karmyn let it; but a moment later, he thought of how he shouldn't do this, and drew his head away, looking down all the same.  
That's when he noticed something. His chest was bare, save for the bandages.

“Wh-where's my pendant?”

“Oh...they're here, don't worry.”

He showed the bedside table. Karmyn turned his head, relieved to find that his Talos amulet, the amethyst ring and the seed pouch were there.  
Until realization hit, and a cold wave of fright washed over him. The pouch was closed, but the string wasn't put the way Karmyn usually tied it shut with.

“D...did you look inside?”, he asked, his voice being a mere whisper now.

He could feel Derkeethus was uneasy. He didn't dare to look him in the eye, and turned away. It was to be expected, after all. So he closed his eyes, and prepared for the torrent of hate that would follow. For the insults and accusations he's rehearsed so much in his mind, all these days.

“No.”

That answer was maybe the one Karmyn had expected the less. He opened his eyes out of surprise, and looked at him with raised brows.

“I didn't. I don't know what's inside.”

Karmyn blinked, confused. What?

“But...but you touched it, right?”

“I did. I...I wanted to see. I had started pulling it undone, but...I thought about our fight, and what you said. How...how you didn't want to let people into your personal stuff. So I didn't look.”

His eyes trailed on the leather pouch for a moment, then back at him. And then, to his surprise, he smiled.

“And let's not forget something else had caught my attention.”

Karmyn didn't realize what he was talking about right away; until the light of the candle flickered, and a periwinkle gleam caught his eye.

“...oh. Right.”

He felt his cheeks heat up at the thought that Derkeethus had seen the wedding band. The ring he was going to propose with. The latter seemed as much, if not even more flustered by the news even though he was trying so hard not to show it.

“I must say...this is quite a way to make up after a fight. But- I'm not implying I'd say no, don't get me wrong!”

Karmyn tried to process what was going on, before he chuckled a bit in turn.

“You really think I wanted to propose only to make up with you? That's presumptuous of you, Derky."

He chuckled some more, looking at his confused expression. That face was priceless.

"I'll have you know, I've had this ring around my neck since before we fought.”

And that one sentence ought to have surprised the miner quite a lot, judging by how high his brows just rose.

“Really? Since when?”

“You want to know?”

Karmyn let out a small puff of laughter, looking away.

“I've crafted it even before we first mated.”

He knew it hit, because the next second, Derkeethus burst out in laughter. His low, deep, cackling laughter that Karmyn loved to hear. It wasn't mocking, or condescending, but genuine amusement. And Karmyn couldn't help joining in, laughing along with him.  
And he didn't realize that in all the days and weeks they've spent apart, this feeling, this deep emotion was maybe what he's missed out on the most. So he laughed along, ignoring the nagging of his pained ribs, and with this laugh he let out all he had on his heart.  
When they finally stopped, they were both smiling, eyes sparkling with happiness. They looked at each other, and Karmyn slowly closed his eyes, basking in a feeling he didn't even realize was there. Slowly, he raised a hand, and brushed it in turn against his friend's cheek, who didn't withdraw it, but rather returned the gesture.

“I missed you.”, Karmyn admitted.

Derkeethus nodded, his fingers gently feeling the other's scales and facial thorns. His touch was hesitant, as if he's lost the habit of such a light gesture. But Karmyn leaned his face into the touch, closing his eyes again, enjoying the relief that was slowly going through him. Derkeethus was here, he's forgiven him. That was all he'd ever need.  
Very slowly, he leaned in closer, and their snouts brushed together. Karmyn smiled, already accepting what would happen, before their faces pulled together like magnets and the both's lips got a hold of the other's. Their kiss was simple, rather chaste, but it expressed all they could have said, all they wanted to say but couldn't find the words for. Karmyn let out a slight delighted breath, to which Derkeethus replied with by a barely-hidden moan. Their hands traveled a bit, hungry for touch, and Karmyn pulled his lover closer onto him, bringing him on the bed with him. They ended up resting in a rather awkward position, and were only moved by the painful reminder of Karmyn's injuries. When they pulled apart, they looked at each other, and laughed again, their heads still dazed with a pleasant, warm feeling.

“Yeah.”, Derkeethus admitted when his chuckles died down. “I missed you too.”

Karmyn let his hand linger on Derkeethus's shoulder, where it's been resting for a moment now.

“You know...”, he started. “If you want to know...I can tell you.”

He looked up at him, into his light green eyes. A sight he loved more than any other.

“I want you to know. I don't want there to be any secrets between us. Not if it hurts our trust.”

“Are you sure of this?”

He nodded. His heart was beating fast, but his mind was full of resolve. Of determination, of hope.

“I'm tired of lying. To them, I'm just the Dragonborn.”

His hand went up, trailing over his scales, gently caressing his cheek again.

“But for you, I want drop all of that. For you, I'll be but Karmyn Scaleshield.”

Derkeethus said nothing for a moment, visibly thinking; before nodding, and holding his hand. His voice was quiet, his gestures were soft and careful. It seemed like he couldn't believe either what was going on right now.

“I'll accept you, no matter what name you choose to take. I promise.”

"Thank you. And...you know..."

He hesitated, looking slightly away, before spilling out his heart's content.

"...I'd accept it, if you wanted to take my name as well."

That barely-hidden question was met with raised brows, followed by a cheeky smile, and a tender kiss on the forehead.

"Get back on your feet first, mister Scaleshield, and we'll talk about it later."

"Deal."

He smiled, his chest slowly filling with a familiar warmth and tingle, before they embraced, their arms feeling to the other's like a safe haven. A haven they've missed on, for way too long; a haven they would build together, stronger than ever.  
Outside, dawn had finally risen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending had gone sweeter than I'd have thought.
> 
> The story's not over! I still have some things to explore with these two, and with Karmyn in general. I was inspired enough for a quick update, barely a week after last chapter, but don't get your hopes too up for next one. I need to re-plan it first.


	23. Karthvasten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but I had a big issue with my computer and almost lost all my files. Have this pause moment and some cookies.

The first days after Faldar's Tooth, it felt horrible to be alone. But then, Derkeethus got used to it.  
He spent that time wandering about. Erring aimlessly across Skyrim, with nothing to do or nowhere to go. He wanted to escape, to leave, to avoid whatever there was to avoid. He felt...helpless, to say the least. Helpless, angry, and unable to change anything about it or about his ever-growing frustration.  
He didn't know where to go. His first choice, of course, would have been Darkwater Crossing; but knowing his old friends would be there, and ask questions and inquire about where Karmyn had gone...no, he couldn't go back there. Not yet.  
He camped outside for the first days. He's always been used to spending nights alone in the wild. He still had some of the stuff Karmyn had given him, such as warm bear pelts and clothes. But on the moment, he didn't want of these. He's realized just how condescending it has been for Karmyn, to give him all that trash he didn't need, all that stuff to carry around like he was a mule. And he didn't like it at all. So he dumped everything in a treasure chest somewhere in Hjaalmarch, and kept going with only his own clothes and tools on his back.  
Needless to say, the first nights have been cold. In his wandering, he still needed to eat, and the cold of Skyrim wasn't the most forgiving of climates. And he needed something to do, anyway; that's why he started taking bounty missions.  
He still had his skill, his knowledge of magic and fighting. He could do this, just like he's seen Karmyn do before. After all these adventures and exploring, he didn't feel like returning to the dark and damp stone halls of a mine anymore. But he had to earn his life like an honest person, and as he was short on other skills, he decided to ask innkeepers and Jarls' stewards for whatever missions they could give.  
The first enemies he slayed with only his pickaxe were the most difficult; but once he looted their weapons and some gear, it was all easier. Of course, fighting alone hindered him a lot, compared to the prowess of duo fighting techniques the two of them had developed over time. But it's not like he was useless on his own either. He'd progress through dungeons, towers, hideouts, with increasing ease as time went by. He even found himself to progress in the area of solo fighting, which surprised him. But it also boosted his confidence: knowing he didn't need Karmyn reassured his fighter spirit, and rekindled his tenacity with embers of determination. As meek rewards kept piling up in his purse one after the other, he realized that indeed, he could live this kind of life.  
That's what he did. He'd earn his own coin through slaying, completing various sidequests and missions, even doing errands for people desperate enough to resort to an Argonian's help. Sure, he did mock Karmyn's whimsical quests of fetching old drums for the Bards' College and delivering love letters, but until now he's had no real idea of how much such a mission would pay off. Those were all very pointless quests in themselves, but he soon found out his own pace in completing them. One or two petty services a day would mean a warm meal, a comfortable enough bed. Three or more, and he could start saving up.  
Wearing stolen armor pieces was good enough, but there was something repulsing about wearing a dead's clothes. But Karmyn did teach him some things about the art of smithing. Derkeethus knew how to repair an armor, care for it and upgrade it to a good level. He's even learned how to craft some jewels, light weapons and gear pieces. As for leather and animal skin, he already knew how to properly prepare and sew it; same went with handling ore and metal, from his years-long experience as a miner. So as soon as he could afford it, he took some time away from missions and quests to gather up what he needed.  
He spent some time in caves to gather what metal he needed to forge himself better equipment. Once or twice, he's even found some gemstones, which he decided to keep; he was already earning enough money as is, but he wasn't against some reassurance for when times become harsher. His few altercations with mountain bears and sabertooth cats also provided him with enough leather to do the trick, and some bonus pelts to stay warm in the cold winds of the north.  
He had felt very strange when he'd put on the first suit of armor he's ever made entirely by himself. It wasn't the protective feeling of the Glass Armor, which was still tucked away in some hideout; instead, there was some odd satisfaction about knowing his efforts had paid off. And he liked it. He's never crafted armor before, and the residents of Darkwater Crossing would have laughed if, even some months ago, he had asked them how to do so. That's how much he's changed, since the day Karmyn rescued him. How much he's grown. And how much he could still grow.  
So, clad in that well-deserved protection, he went forth taking on more and more quests, wandering in no set direction like a vagabond mercenary. Which he was, to be honest. It was around that time that he's convinced himself Karmyn would prefer to spend some time away from him, and return with his own friends. Friends that didn't meddle with his personal life and his past. And while Derkeethus was starting to miss the familiar feeling of a battle companion, he tried to tell himself it was for the better, and thus didn't try to get back in touch with him.  
Yet he didn't throw away the many apology notes he's tried to write.  
Time went by. Days, weeks were passing, and Derkeethus still wasn't giving up. He'd never stay in a town for more than a day or two, and would then go back on his way. The temptation to ask for sightings of Karmyn was really hard, and he had to fight it with all his might, by distracting himself with every mission he could find. He was learning some skills as well, like potion-making and Conjuration magic. Using what Karmyn had begun to teach him, he started training harder, trying to summon a familiar attempt after attempt. He felt it to be a lost cause, until he met Jonna's brother during his brief stay in Morthal; that Redguard happened to be very knowledgeable in that domain of magic, and agreed to teach Derkeethus a couple things. It was a bit of complex advice, and very costly too, but after some more work he was finally able to summon a familiar at will.  
It was odd, to have a companion again. At first, he'd try to take care of the spirit dog as if it were a real one, have it walk at his side and maybe caress its ethereal body; yet it was nothing but a mere shadow of an animal, that had no emotion save for a tremendous hunger for battle, and loyalty. It would always defend Derkeethus at the cost of its temporary mundial existence, but showed no interest whatsoever in fetching sticks or helping hunt game meat. Overall, Derkeethus considered it to be a bit of a waste of money. Well, at least he wouldn't have to feed it.  
He had started to miss Karmyn again. And this pain was lingering in his heart, like a slow poison that would drain his forces little by little. Yet he needed to do his best to forget about him, forget about what they've been through, even though their common past seemed like a safe hubris of memories. So he did all he could to forget, and to move on. He's even considered taking someone else as his very own companion, but for some reason, he never went through with that idea. Maybe he didn't feel ready yet.  
But the biggest event of his loneliness came only a couple days later. He was passing through Karthvasten, to barter some gold and silver with the local miners, when a dragon had landed from the sky and started attacking. Of course, panic ensued: everyone was running away, salvaging what they could. Derkeethus first hid along with them, hoping for the dragon to be fought off, until he remembered that the mining town had no guards. And that no Dragonborn was there to take care of that beast.  
He had stayed hidden, praying the Hist for something to happen. Some hero to appear, someone crazy enough to take a stand against the dragon and kill it. During an endless minute of hiding, he pictured Karmyn coming back out of nowhere, and helping these people hiding in the mine. He would come, and slay the beast, as he had always done with countless dragons before. And he'd be acclaimed, again, for saving yet another day in the life of the average Skyrimean. While all Derkeethus would do, would be hiding and serving as his leg up.  
...oh, who was he kidding. He'd never come, would he?  
He wasn't sure when he came out of his hiding, but he did. His legs carried him without he commanded them. His arms drew, aimed, and shot an arrow into the sky. And when the dragon roared and dove down, he ducked on the side and took his sword out.  
And he attacked. He dashed, and attacked again. His weapon hit scale, blood, flesh. It splattered on his armor, in a disgusting manner that he was nonetheless used to. The dragon pushed its wing forward and he staggered, falling on the ground with a thud; he rolled away from its fangs, nearly losing his arm in the process. Making a run for his sword that had fallen a distance away, he grabbed the hilt and turned around to face the reptile, his blood boiling with adrenaline. The dragon opened its wide maw and fire shot out; driven by a reflex, Derkeethus rose a hand, and a basic ward shielded him from the tremendous heat, just long enough so he could get cover. He's lost a lot of health, but for some reason, he was still going. Dropping on his knees, he took several deep, long breaths, until he felt himself getting back on track. The dragon's flames had burned around his sword-wielding arm, and the scales there were still hot; but they also looked tougher. Derkeethus grinned to himself, and let his skin become as hard as steel, by focusing his breathing and quickening his bloodstream. He'd never forget about his quick regeneration ability.  
Now protected by his Histskin, he went back into attack, bow ready and firing. He had some poisons he had saved for assassination missions, but now was a good time to use them; quickly, he avoided another blast of fire and shot, before switching to his sword and hitting while the dragon was still on the ground. This strategy lasted until the beast decided to fly up, where the Argonian's sword couldn't reach. Feeling jealous of Karmyn's Dragonrend, Derkeethus climbed atop a slope to get a better vantage point, and aimed with his bow. He was no sharpshooter, but he'd hit bullseye half of the time, and that was enough. Proud of himself, he ran after the weakened dragon once it had landed down, and attacked with all his might. The beast replied with sheer ferociousness and rage, and Derkeethus's Histskin had stopped since long; but he kept going. He kept attacking, slicing and parring, always with force and skill, until the dragon eventually fell dead in a ground-shaking tremor.  
Derkeethus fell on his knees, again. He's gotten a lot of wounds and burns, since that dragon was of a higher tier than what he'd first have thought. But he felt proud, nonetheless. He watched the dragon laying on its flank, like a wounded horse, and waited. He didn't move, as if he was expecting something; until he remembered there was only one man in Skyrim who could absorb a dragon's soul. And until he was nearby, that dragon would stay intact, instead of turning into ash. No need to wait for its soul to fly out of its carcass.  
He sat down on a tree stump, still breathing fast. Peeking out of their hiding places, people were slowly coming towards him, warily. They looked surprised, maybe even astonished. Derkeethus was as wary as them, as he didn't know what would happen of him now.  
And then, someone spoke.

"The Dragonborn!"

And joy ensued. People soon started to swarm the confused beast, thanking him for saving their town and calling him Dragonborn, and for a moment Derkeethus didn't even think of correcting them. He could explain their mistake: a weird Argonian defeating a dragon by himself, after coming out of nowhere? Surely that was enough for anyone who's never met Karmyn. But he didn't want people to notice that the dragon wasn't actually bursting into flames and falling into ash, so he accepted their greetings as politely as he could, and quickly took his leave, claiming there were more enemies to slay over there.  
He didn't feel too at ease with lying. It would always bring trouble, wouldn't it? It was best for him to keep a low profile and avoid spreading any sights of the 'Dragonborn' over this side of Skyrim. If the real Dovahkiin were to know about this, he could assume Derkeethus did it intentionally. And that wouldn't be good.  
But he'd never forget these smiling faces praising him.  
He laid low for a couple days, staying in his meek tent set somewhere by the former Reach Stormcloak camp. He was examining a map he's found, tracing a couple possible routes with some charcoal and much hesitation. He's stayed on a path south of Skyrim, after having tried a northern route for some days. But as he had come near Windhelm, he's changed paths, instead following the river towards Whiterun. As all the good stuff was west, he kept going, looting what he could and raiding wherever he wanted. Which wasn't much, to be honest.  
Now that he's cleared most of the dungeons in Markarth's valley, he was thinking of returning east. He could head to Riften, and from there, improvise. For now, he didn't feel like exploring the northern Holds; he still needed to hunt for food and avoid densely-populated areas. Although he could at some point make a detour by Dawnstar or Winterhold, if only to see some different places. And he could always leave Skyrim, if it ever got too boring. But leaving the province altogether felt to him like a point of no return, one he didn't want to cross. So instead, he crossed that thought out of his mind.  
He wiped out his current route plan with his finger, and traced another one. To Dawnstar it was.  
He was going on foot, since he didn't have any horse of his own. Buying one felt like too big of an investment at this point, so he didn't really consider it. As for cart travel, he felt it to be too easy. He wanted to see the world, to explore this province, and do as many sidequests as he could. He needed to train, and taking the easy way wasn't the best method. Luckily, he had packed some spare boots.  
By the end of next day, he was already leaving Morthal, after having replenished his purse with some bounty rewards and resupplied. It was getting colder and colder as he approached the sea, and he thought of learning some new Fire spells. Maybe a Flame Cloak, like Karmyn had, could also protect him from the harsh winds of the Pale. He kept himself wrapped up in a bear pelt as he journeyed, killing trolls and wild wolves on the path, and eventually reaching Dawnstar by late evening. There, he met with a caravan of three Khajiit merchants.  
And surprisingly, they knew of him. Ahkari, the leader of the group, even had a message for him.

"One of your Hist-brothers came to us.", she said after Derkeethus paid her to get the message. "A fast-tongue clad in dragon scales."

"And?", he pressed. "What did he say?"

She simply reached her paw forward with a grin, and Derkeethus groaned of exasperation. Until Zaynabi, her soft-spoken assistant, came forward with the food and potions Derkeethus had bought. 

"He's sorry and wants to see you.", she said, glaring at Ahkari. 

Not wanting to be caught in a cat's fight, Derkeethus quickly paid for his goods and left, entering town. Passing these thoughts in his head, over and over again.  
He couldn't believe it. Karmyn wanted to see him. He was sorry. He wanted to see him. He wanted him. He wanted him at his side. And if he's told a Khajiit caravan, traveling merchants, then he's likely looked all over for him.  
Derkeethus's heart started to race. This news that he still had trouble believing, this fact he couldn't entirely process, was coming out of the blue like a dragon on a peaceful village. It filled his chest with an odd warmth, with a happiness that bloomed back from ashes and darkness, and wanted to take over him once again. He surprised himself to smile, smile all the while during his night's worth stay at the inn. He couldn't sleep, to be fair, even though he tried very hard to. He didn't even feel the hunger that had nagged at him all day long. It felt strange, and foreign, but he wasn't one to complain. Not at all.  
As soon as morning came, he left town and set on his path. He headed south in direction of Windhelm, to Hjerim. To the home he had called his' all this time. But when he arrived, he was surprised to find the door locked. And as he wasn't Karmyn's follower anymore, he had lost access to the place, since Karmyn had the only key. After asking around, he learned that Karmyn had departed for Whiterun two days ago, going on a mission for the Companions. They also added something about a Khajiit friend, that Derkeethus didn't quite get.  
Whiterun, and the Companions. Breezehome. If he followed the river around the mountains, he could get there in two days or less. So he set forth on his quest, and didn't waste a second.  
But it was as if the Hist itself was against him. Bandits, wild beasts, and another dragon fell on his path. He was starting to have enough of all of this; yet, led by his determination, he cleared the way easily, always moving forward. He arrived in Whiterun, and ran straight to the Companions' headquarters to ask for his lover's whereabouts; but when he arrived, everyone was deep in mourning. An attack had struck not long ago, and Kodlak Gray-Mane had been killed. Derkeethus felt sorry for them, but he's never known the Companions too personally either. All that he could get, was that Karmyn had been sent to Glenmoril Coven to wipe out a witches' clan. That was somewhere west of Falkreath; feeling closer to his goal, he headed there after some quick paying of respects. His determination was pushing him forward, always faster, always with the same hopes. He didn't want to lose him again, and neither hail nor rain would stop him.  
Talking about rain, something odd took place as he was on his way. From Riverwood, menacing storm clouds could be seen heading south, pushed by rising winds. Derkeethus didn't think much of it, even though rain in this season was an odd occurrence. Especially such a storm, in such quantities, in such a force.  
He knew he had to head there. But once he arrived, half a day later, he could only witness the outcomes of the damage.  
It was as if land and sky had been torn apart, and sea had been thrown into the gaps. The trees were overturned, the paths were ruined with mud, animals from all over the forest had run away, and harvests were destroyed. Whatever had happened here, Derkeethus told himself, couldn't be natural. And there was only one beast in all of Skyrim that had such a power over the elements.  
He went back on his tracks, to Whiterun. He was tired. If Karmyn were to come back at some point, Derkeethus would be waiting in Breezehome. That felt like a safe plan, that'd avoid lots of confusion and endless chase. Plus, he was almost out of money: living day to day wasn't cheap.  
He spent a couple days cleaning up Breezehome. Luckily, he still had the key, since Karmyn had given it to him some time after buying Hjerim. "Who knows?", he had said. And indeed, who could have known? Who could have known events would play this way? He sure didn't. And now, he was thinking of this irony, while cleaning up the old wooden house. It took him quite a time, but at least, it would be decent enough to sleep in.  
When evening came, he decided to have a walk out. Just like they used to do, when they were still together. The night air was fresh, but the skies were beautiful. Maybe it would snow, and Derkeethus hoped it would. Southern snows were always gentle, when they weren't caused by magic. He hated Frost magic, it'd slow him down and make him feel cold enough to sleep. Luckily, there weren't any frost trolls or ice wraiths down at this latitude.  
But there were Frost Dragons. The familiar roaring followed by a blast of ice told him so.  
He immediately felt the need to attack. Drawing his bow, he attempted to hit the reptile, but it was moving too fast, and visibility wasn't optimal. It spit some more of these deadly ice shards, covering the area in cold and unfeeling spikes. But it visibly didn't think of him as a worthy target; the fight barely lasted for a minute, before the dragon flew away northwards. It was a fast one, and it had a high level, but Derkeethus knew better than to give up. He gathered his forces, and ran forward, summoning his familiar to guide the way. His staffs could have come in handy for a long-range attack, but of course, he's disposed of them. Both pride and lack of foresight would get him to get eaten by a dragon if his attempt failed.  
But then he saw he wasn't alone in this fight. In the dark, he could make out a silhouette attacking the dragon.  
He didn't have a clue of who that was. They had a thorn-covered armor, and they looked rather weak at swordfighting. The familiar rushed down the slope, and bit the dragon's leg as it was about to devour the odd figure. They fell on the ground, and tried to get back up, but they've lost a lot of blood. Not knowing what to do, Derkeethus hesitantly fired an arrow, almost missing his target. The dragon turned its ugly head in his direction, and spoke Dovahzul words that shot deadly ice from its maw. It hurt, very badly, and he tried to parry with his arms. But his body was getting colder and colder, and movement was getting harder.  
When the ice blast stopped, he fell on his knees, shivering. Hesitantly, he raised an arm, and tried to warm himself up by shooting lightning from his palms. It barely worked, and he didn't feel like changing his course; since his affinity with Storm magic was stronger, his attacks were dealing more damage than fire could. He tried to get back on his knees, sword out, as the dragon was slowly pushing back the lightning bolts and coming his way. He didn't know what to do, what little magic he could do, for he's never fought a Frost Dragon on his own. And he maybe never would.  
Something bright suddenly caught his eye. Something coming his way, very fast. Something that hit him before he could react.  
Something that felt really, really good.  
Derkeethus blinked. The weird blueish light that had come upon him, was suddenly wrapping around his whole body. It felt warm, and tingled a bit, but most of all, it felt like a drug seeping into his veins. It felt like adrenaline rushing in his blood, sounded like a voice telling him not to be afraid. And it felt deliciously satisfying to listen to it. He rushed again, sword raising high before it fell and cut through scale and skin. The dragon roared again, bucking up, and Derkeethus managed to dodge the whip of its tail. He poisoned his sword and went at it again, hitting and hitting with a foreign determination that kept growing as more dragon blood was being shed. He sliced, swayed, swished and thrust, never backing down. Maybe it was his determination alone or a side effect of the magic (Courage...yes, it was a Courage spell), but the dragon was backing down, ever so slightly. It roared, flapping its large wings to take off, but Derkeethus attacked its wing membrane, tearing a large gash in it. Enraged, the animal opened its maw wide to bite at him, and Derkeethus dodged it by a few before grabbing his bow, and shooting into its open mouth. It staggered, spitting more blood, as the familiar attacked again. Derkeethus shot a Firebolt from his hand, hitting right on the open wounds, making the creature cry out. But the dragon suddenly hardbutted its body against him, making him fall on the ground, and rose as if trying to stomp him. In a reflex, the Argonian rolled around, sword drawn upwards; and when it fell, the dragon stabbed itself on the blade.  
A flow of disgusting and smelly blood fell on him, and Derkeethus almost choked. He crawled out of the body that was right about to squish him, and shook himself to get that dripping goop off his armor. The dragon was writhing, obviously in pain, shaking to get that blade off its stomach. But the more the tried, the more it was hurting itself. Finally, after a long and blood-curdling agony, it fell on the ground, making it shake under its weight.  
Derkeethus fell on his knees.  
The spell that had wrapped all around him had slowly dissipated a moment ago. And now, all that was left was some odd emptiness that took the warmth and adrenaline rush away. He caught his breath and let the blood trickle down onto the snowy grass, before raising his head. The dragon was still there, unmoving. He's done it. He's slayed a Frost Dragon, on his very own.  
Well...not exactly on his own. A slight twitch reminded the presence of that other creature, the one that had fallen a distance away. Derkeethus got on his knees, shakily standing, and walked a wobbly pace to the fallen silhouette. But as soon as he got close enough to see the red lights glowing from between their armor plates, he stopped short, and drew his bow. These thorns, that armor craft...a Daedra!? Here, in Whiterun? But how?  
He couldn't know why or how this demon got here. But if there was a living, breathing Frost Dragon, in this part of Skyrim, then a Daedra summon couldn't be so far-fetched. His arrow was ready, should that demon attempt anything; but it seemed weak, and maybe even unconscious. Derkeethus stepped closer, just a little, and the creature reacted. His familiar growled, fangs out, but didn't attack.  
A twitch. A very slight one. Some fingers that moved in his direction. The Argonian almost let go of his arrow, aiming for the heart. That creature had already lost a lot of blood, yet it was still alive. It ought to be a powerful demon. And he was right about to end it, when he heard something. He glanced behind very quickly, and saw with great surprise that the dragon's body was starting to get covered in ash.  
He pulled back his bowstring, not believing his eyes. The dragon's scales were gleaming with faint embers, that slowly- then quickly spread over its entire body, right before its entire corpse burst into flames. Derkeethus stepped back in fear, wondering what was going on. A huge, ethereal mass of light rose from the dragon's body, covering his vision in glints of purple and gold, and Derkeethus realized he'd already seen this. Suddenly, the dragon's soul dove down, to wrap itself around the unconscious body of the fallen Daedra. And Derkeethus could only watch the scene in front of his eyes, as he slowly understood.  
There was only one man in Skyrim who could absorb a dragon's soul.

~~~~~

"...and then I brought you back in Whiterun. I took care of your wounds and helped you get back on your feet."

"Well...it does sounds like you've been in quite a trouble back then."

Derkeethus nodded, taking another damp linen strip to wrap it around Karmyn's arm. The latter gritted his teeth, trying to quell a whimper of pain at the sting of the herbal medicine, and Derkeethus did his best to fasten the bandage quickly, yet still with efficiency. That guy did lose a lot of blood, after all. At least his wounds were healing.

"So...how about _you_ tell me where you've been, now?", the improvised doctor asked after a time.

"Oh, I've been here and there. Doing...stuff."

"The Falkreath storm, that was you, right?"

"I can't hide anything from you, can I?"

Karmyn grinned again, one of his xhuth-eating grins that always made Derkeethus want to return it. But this time, he simply shook his head with a chuckle.

"I guess not. At least, not forever."

"It seems funny we've kept almost running into each other. As if some sort of twist pulled by fate."

"Are you kidding me? You keep moving everywhere!", Derkeethus chided. "How am I supposed to catch up?"

Karmyn didn't answer, taking that tease at face value. His caretaker sighed, and gently held his hand.

"It's fine, Minny. It's fine now. We've found each other, right?"

"Right...but I'm still not proud of how I've treated you."

He tried to sit up on the bed, his back still resting on the pillows.

"I've treated you like...like you meant nothing. Like you didn't matter. And I don't feel proud of myself, not at all."

"Yeah...I see what you mean. And I'm also not proud of how I reacted."

"You had the right to. I'm sorry."

"Oh, stop apologizing. It's okay, I tell you."

The green Argonian nuzzled the other for a short moment, on a patch of his neck scales that made Karmyn feel all giddy. He closed his eyes, letting his companion caress him gently, without adding anything. 

"When do you think I'll get back on my feet?", he asked after a time.

"Oh, take at least a week off. You've taken quite a lot of damage...that, and your fever. Bone break and dragon attacks can take a nasty toll on even the sturdiest of Dragonborns."

"A week without doing anything? Please, kill me know, you'll be doing me a kindness."

He huffed at his own joke, looking at the other for approval; but all he was given was another sting of medicine around his wounds.

"I will consider killing you, but for now I will put you back to health, because finishing you as you lay there won't be as satisfying."

"Will you have the mercy to finish me quickly?"

Derkeethus looked at him, and smiled.

"Don't count on it."

A moment later, their snouts touched to each other, and they closed their eyes. Then, slowly, their mutual attraction pulled them into a kiss, and they gladly stayed there for a long moment. Derkeethus had missed the feeling of that warm mouth against his, of that peeking tongue poking around for entrance, and of his gentle moans of pleasure. It felt like home, after all this time spent alone, wondering whether Karmyn would forgive him. And never has an answer been so satisfying to know.  
They parted after a time, looking at each other with a faint nuzzle, before Derkeethus resumed changing his companion's bandages. Karmyn laid back, enjoying the treatment and pampering; if he forgot about the stinging and gross-tasting medicine, all the pillows and warm food were a very nice treatment. Maybe they'd even go dip a bit in the river, when Karmyn was strong enough to walk again. For now, they needed to make sure the fever hadn't developed into the next stage of the bone-crumbling disease, and that meant lots of rest and care.

"Do you think you'll let me go out to get some sun, today?"

"That depends. But you look a bit pale, so maybe sun would do good for you."

"Well why don't you come closer then?"

He winked, and Derkeethus took a moment before he understood the flirting attempt.

"Why, you little rascal. Will you never change?"

" 'm afraid not. Now come here and gimme some sunlight, you said yourself I needed it."

Derkeethus rolled his eyes, put the rest of the fabric strips away, and came to sit by his side. Karmyn grinned, bringing him into a tender embrace despite his bandaged arms, and kissed his cheek.

"It will be alright, Derky. Trust me?"

The other took a moment before eventually nodding.

"I think I've done my share of distrust these times. It's better when I know we can count on each other, don't you think?"

"That's why we're the best."

He kissed him again, and let him take a better position for snuggles, before he closed his eyes. And so they rested, without a word or as much as a sound, listening to the other's breathing in what felt like truest peace.  
Karmyn's hand was idly running over Derkeethus's back, caressing through his shirt with a gentle and delicate touch. Yet after a time, some long minutes during which he's done some thinking, he opened an eye, and gently nudged the other with his arm.

"Mhm."

"Come on, Derky, wake up."

"I'm already awake."

"Then look like it."

Derkeethus opened his eyes, and looked up at him tiredly, his head resting on Karmyn's chest. 

"What's on your mind, shortsnout?"

"I've been thinking."

"Oh, so you _can_ think.", he teased. 

"Yeah, sorry to have fooled you all along into believing I was but a brainless sload. I know it comes off as a surprise, but don't divorce me yet."

Derkeethus propped up on his elbows some more, listening.

"Well...", Karmyn started, hesitating. "You've told me your story. Of these past weeks, but also of your past and all."

"Yeah."

"And I was thinking...it's not fair that you're left in ignorance. So...so I think you should know."

The other blinked, starting to get where he was getting to.

"Don't feel forced...that doesn't matter to me, you know."

"But it does to me."

He gently held his hand, and opened his palm. Then, he picked the seed pouch on the bedside table, and put it in Derkeethus's fingers. He assured him with a gentle gaze, and let him open it and pull out a couple seeds. Derkeethus looked at him, not understanding; but a couple confused blinks were enough to tell he knew what those were.  
Karmyn nodded, holding that gaze. And then, after taking a time to find his words, he started telling the tale he had carried on his heart for years.  
And as he spoke of Blackrose, of his past and of his theft, opening his heart and lifting weight after weight off his chest, he realized that not once did Derkeethus get angry at him.


	24. Dragonsreach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder where a Dragonborn does get their powers from...  
> Also! Happy two years to Of Scales and Swords! I can't possibly believe it's been so long! Thank you for following since the beginning, or hopping along, I love you all! :D

"Home, sweet home.", Karmyn smiled.

The heavy wooden door closed behind him as he breathed in the scent of candlewax and burnt firewood that he's associated with his Windhelm house. Oh, how he missed this place, during the days he's spent in Whiterun! It didn't feel as cramped and old as Breezehome, and it actually had imprinted traces of his life here. Of their life here.  
Derkeethus put down his bag, looking around the dining hall. It's been a while since he's been there, and he was glad to find that little had actually changed. The draconic decorations were still hung on the walls, the books were as messy as ever, and the kitchen still smelled of cooked cabbage and garlic. That reminded him, he was quite hungry. But for now, he should watch over this excited child of a Dragonborn.  
As he was taking some items out of his bag, he heard something rushing down the stairs. He barely had time to turn around, before a big brown dog came over him, barking.

"Whoah, hey! Calm down, buddy!"

Karmyn giggled at the sight, putting down the sword he's been holding.

"Come on, Meeko. Calm, calm. C'mere, bud."

He tried to whistle the dog back at his side, but Meeko was too busy sniffing over the newcomer, tail wagging and mouth gaping. Derkeethus blinked slowly, not sure of what to do.

"He's nice, don't worry.", Karmyn smiled. "Give him a pet."

Hesitantly, Derkeethus let the dog sniff his fingers, before petting behind its ears. It...didn't feel too bad, honestly. So he did it for a moment, wondering just when Karmyn did get a pet.

"You two seem to get along.", the latter noticed. "That's good to see."

"You tell me."

When Meeko finally got disinterested in Derkeethus, and went back to its bed by the fireplace, the two Argonians walked up to the bedroom, to store their stuff in the according storage places. When he entered the room, Derkeethus felt a bit weird; it's been such a long time since he's stepped a foot in here. The bed still was messily made, the shelves covered in baubles and shiny things, the bookshelves filled with pretty and rare tomes. It smelled like sweat and leather, as usual. A smell he's grown accustomed to, and familiar with.

"I hope it's alright.", Karmyn said, after finishing putting his armor pieces away. "I mean...if you want your old room back, I can..."

Derkeethus took a moment to think.

"It's fine. Don't worry."

"Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable..."

"I'm not, it's okay."

He gently took his hands, and after a second, kissed his fingers. It was alright, he told himself, it would all be fine. Every couple had good and bad times, heartache followed with recovery. And Karmyn was willing to start again, so the least he could do was to amend for his own mistakes.  
He still couldn't believe the story he's been told. Hist seeds. Stolen from the An-Xileel themselves. He did hear something about a crime of the sort having been committed, when he was young. He's lived in Helstrom at the time, so news of the seed theft had come to spread around to his area. But to think the _Dragonborn_ has been the culprit all along still felt weird. It was quite a coincidence, or maybe some predestination shenanigans, but it still felt strange to know.  
Yet he's forgiven him. Like he'd always forgive him. He could see why Karmyn didn't want to tell him anything about it, about how he committed a crime considered the worst of heresies by the Black Marsh clergy. And Derkeethus was willing to forgive him, where maybe no one else would have.  
Karmyn smiled, sitting on the bed, his lover at his side. He rest his head on Derkeethus's shoulder, looking up at him with those lovely eyes that made him melt almost every single time. Smiling a little, Derkeethus wrapped an arm around him, and nuzzled his snout with a low hum. He saw Karmyn close his eyes, and enjoy the simple touch, which he was happy to give again. In his weeks of solitude, he's missed the intimacy of a loved one, maybe more than anything else.  
The nuzzles became mutual, and even more tender. Slowly, they laid back on the bed, embracing and nuzzling each other, without adding any words. There was no need to, after all. He's missed him so much, and now he was here again; it felt still so unreal, even after he's watched over him for days, making sure he got better and back on his feet, taking him outside to get some sunlight, and patiently taking care of him like a devoted companion.  
But now, Karmyn felt like being the one to take care of him. His hands ran over the back of Derkeethus's head, feeling his thorns and nubby spikes, as he kissed all over his face and nuzzled him with adorable crooning noises. He wasn't going too fast, all he wanted was to get used to the feeling again. The feeling of holding him close, taking care of him and making him feel like the most loved Argonian in all of Skyrim. Out of all the missions and quests he had to do, this would be his most important one. Even more than his quest to defeat Alduin.  
This thought, however, raised some doubts in his mind as they went along. No matter what he did, or where he went, this war against the dragons would always remain, looming over him and stopping him from truly living his life. Kharjo's words still resounded to his ears, and their reality echoed in his mind like bats in a cave.

_"You're a selfish, capricious, irresponsible coward."_

He was right. And that was what Karmyn didn't want to admit.  
Derkeethus noticed something in his lover's body language, for he stopped nuzzling, and looked at him with concern.

"Is everything alright?", he asked in a soft voice.

Karmyn nodded, not knowing what else to say.

"I'm fine, I...I was thinking, t's all."

Derkeethus didn't seem too convinced.

"I know you're thoughtful. Your eyes are looking to the void again."

He sat up from their embrace, looking at him with concern.

"Come on. You can tell me everything. I promise I won't get angry."

He was right, after all. Sighing, Karmyn sat up as well, looking down, trying to put words on the thoughts he had in mind.

"I...", he started, hesitating. "I'm not sure now's the right time to get all cuddly."

Derkeethus raised a brow.

"You're not in the mood? That's what's troubling you?"

"What? No, I'm fine. I'd love to stay with you here all day, and cuddle until daybreak. But..."

He was struggling to find his words, obviously. Derkeethus held his hand, soothingly rubbing his palm, until he managed to speak again.

"I keep thinking I should be doing my job of Dragonborn, right now. I should be slaying dragons and helping free Skyrim from their reign. And as long as I don't defeat Alduin, I'm not sure I could ever focus on my peaceful life of...whatever I'm supposed to be when I'm not the Dragonborn."

He shrugged at that, and Derkeethus kissed his cheek.

"Don't be so down, _kashu_. Everything will come in time, remember? We'll always find time to slay the World-Eater at some point."

"But while we stay idle all day and do nothing about it, people suffer from it. Dragons kill, hurt, destroy. A single day of inaction makes a difference, Derky. And I failed to understand it until now."

He then stayed silent, looking away. Derkeethus didn't say anything, until he tightened his embrace a little.

"Then we'll do it.", he said with resolve. "We'll find Alduin, kick his ass, and use the reward gold to build that house by the lake."

Karmyn looked up at him, eyes wide in disbelief.

"You...you're serious? About the house by the lake?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

He laid in his arms again, enjoying the comfort of his embrace.

"It will be great. It will be a well-deserved rest after all our adventures. We'll own some farming land, maybe fishing grounds too, and we'll be free from all the war-mongering until we feel like kicking Imperial butts again."

Karmyn couldn't help laughing.

"Why, this is a future I could get behind!", he claimed. "Would we keep Meeko?"

"There's always room for Meeko."

"I honestly can't wait to retire. It will be the greatest time of my life, especially if I can spend it with you."

"But it's all same, Minny. It's all same."

He leaned in just enough to let himself be kissed, Karmyn's lips feeling hot and soft against his own. Oh, how he's missed this too! The kiss they shared was chaste and simple, yet it seemed to not last long enough. It would never last long enough, Derkeethus thought to himself.

"Come on.", he offered. "Let's take some rest tonight; and when dawn rises, we'll pursue our quest."

"I have a feeling I should go see Paarthurnax. He'll tell me what I should do."

"Well for now, Paarthurnax will have to wait. For now, you're getting a warm dinner and a cuddly night."

Karmyn chuckled, kissing him again.

"Perfect plan, but I suggest we postpone dinner just a little. I feel like cuddling."

Derkeethus rolled his eyes, but granted his request all the same.

~~~~~

"A dragon trap?"

Derkeethus stared at Karmyn in disbelief.

"You mean that this _castle_ is actually a dragon trap?"

"If I were to believe our scaley informant, I'd say so indeed."

He pushed open the heavy doors of Dragonsreach, welcoming the warmth of the hall with a smile. The wind outside was quite chilly, and he's been yearning for a warm fire for all the duration of their trip.

"Help yourself to the cellars.", he advised. "I'll go talk with the Jarl."

"How will you convince him to let a dragon inside Whiterun? That's quite a crazy plan. Even I don't believe it will work."

Karmyn chuckled.

"Let me work my persuasion."

Derkeethus shrugged, and went to pick up some food in the kitchens, unsure about whether that plan would really work. He quickly cooked the stolen foods into various meals, so he wouldn't be framed, then went back to check on his friend. And there he could see his 'persuasion' skills at work.

"It is impossible.", Jarl Vignar said sternly. "These walls have been built to keep the dragons out of the city, not to invite them in!"

"I wouldn't ask this of you if it wasn't important!", Karmyn pleaded tentatively.

"This is too risky. I won't let it happen."

Derkeethus sighed to himself. Yep, talk about persuasion. Seeing Karmyn's rather embarrassed looks, he decided to step in, to avoid his friend be called a liar and thrown into jail. Once more.

"My Jarl.", he said quietly. "This is not a lie. Alduin, the World-Eater, has returned and is now on the loose."

That ought to have struck a cord, for the Jarl's expression suddenly changed.

"The...World-Eater? But how? Doesn't his return mean the end of times? What...what does it mean for us?"

Well, now he was believing them. Derkeethus glanced to Karmyn, who smiled in thanks before returning to his more serious expression.

"It does not mean all is lost. I am the Dragonborn, and it is my destiny to defeat him. Please, my Jarl, believe me."

"I wouldn't know of such things.", Vignar scoffed with a nonchalant gesture of his hand. "For all I know, the Greybeards have summoned you, but...this is all I need to know."

He judged Karmyn with a disbelieving glare. Derkeethus only knew that glare too well, so much that he's nicknamed it the 'typical racist eyes'. Well, it wasn't Karmyn's fault if he was born Argonian, so these guys should learn to work with him anyway. Ugh, sometimes he wondered how Karmyn could stand it; but the latter didn't seem bothered in any way.

"Now, what's this story of trapping a dragon in my palace, anyway?"

Karmyn grinned to himself, and started exposing his plan.

~~~~~

The stone steps creaked under their feet as the two of them walked up the stairs to Sky Haven Temple, the darkness of the cave only fended off by the light of a torch. It's been a while since Karmyn has been here, and the faint familiarity of the place surprised him. And as usual, the carvings on the wall were still of the prettiest craft he knew of.  
There was something homely about those formerly cold, bleak rooms that went from worship places to living quarters. Sneakily, he helped himself a piece of bread from the dining table, until a voice stopped him.

"I would put that down if I were you."

He looked up, and to his great surprise, was met with the cold gray eyes of a certain huscarl he knew.

"Hey there, Calder. It's been a while."

Obviously the guy didn't waste his time among the Blades. His black armor carried the traces of many battles, steel burnt in places and leather worn down. He's cut his hair and gotten a couple new scars, and to be honest he was quite handsome like that. But at least, he didn't have any dark glares for Derkeethus anymore, since he was completely ignoring him.

"So how was your stay? I see you've made some new experiences..."

But the former huscarl wasn't very disposed to talk, still watching the contents of his tankard with somewhat empty eyes.

"...I take it as a 'everything is fine', then?"

Calder nodded somewhat, obviously not in a verbose mood. Karmyn shrugged, and resumed taking bread and vegetables from the various plates strewn around the place. But he stopped when he was eventually about to be seen again, and that's when he noticed Esbern sitting in a corner.  
Still old and grumpy, Karmyn thought. He approached the guy slowly, peeking over his shoulder to see what he was reading. But surprisingly, the old man's expression was grim, maybe even annoyed.

"Whatcha reading?", Karmyn asked, a brow raised.

To his surprise, Esbern closed the book.

"There is no need to downplay it, Dragonborn. I've gotten a word as of the identity of the Greybeards' leader."

A shiver ran down Karmyn's spine. He didn't like at all where this conversation was going.

"Their...leader?", he feigned. "Never met 'em."

"It is useless to lie, Dragonborn. I cannot believe you're working for a _dragon_ , of all creatures!"

Karmyn looked over his shoulder, glancing at Derkeethus who was exploring around. Then, scoffing, he looked back at Esbern.

"Why does it matter? Paarthurnax is a good dragon. He hasn't tried to kill anyone yet."

"How can you not know? How can you not know this dragon, Alduin's very own brother, had commited numerous atrocities during the Dragon War? He has taken countless lives, and whether or not he has expied his crimes now won't change that fact. He needs to be erased."

Karmyn found his words to be of the greatest offense he's ever known.

"Erased? And you really expect I will do it?"

"Why, it is your duty as Dovahkiin, isn't it?"

Fair point…

"He is my friend, Esbern. I cannot do so. And you Blades are helpers of the Dovahkiin, but now just look what you're telling hi- me!"

Esbern suddenly glared at him.

"The Blades are before all protectors of Skyrim against the dragon menace. And so is the Dovahkiin."

He stood up, putting down his book.

"Until you have taken care of this, my Blade honor will forbid I ever offer you help or comfort. I am sorry."

Karmyn grunted. This would be another dilemma, wouldn't it? If he did comply, then he'd have the Greybeards against him, not to mention Paarthurnax wouldn't be easy to defeat. He was a very old dragon, after all...  
But...he didn't have to do it _now_ , did he?

"Alright.", he conceded. "I will do it in due time. But for now, there are more pressing matters at hand. I need to trap a dragon and I have no idea how to call one."

"Call a dragon, you say?"

He headed to a bookshelf, searching from some tome. Meanwhile, Karmyn slyly picked the book he's been reading, and flipped through the pages. It was full of dragon names, accompanied with short description, dates of death, and even pictures. Heh, these names sounded funny to his ears. He didn't know what most of them meant.

"Why all those death records?", he asked.

"Blades record the names of dragons they slay.", Esbern replied, putting some other book down on the desk. "It has been a long-time tradition, to ensure the heads of their race were taken care of."

He started going into some explanation as usual, old man as he was, but Karmyn wasn't listening. For one of the names in the book of dragons had...caught his attention. Curious, he read the description that was given.

" _Death dating back to the Dragon War era. Name confirmed by local legends. Slain by local warriors, mound supposedly located in Solstheim._ "

Followed a rough sketch of a dragon's skull. It didn't look like any species Karmyn had seen before...though maybe it looked like a Frost Dragon with a shorter sn-

"Are you listening?"

Karmyn snapped back to reality.

"Huh? Oh, um..."

Esbern sighed in annoyance.

"As I was saying. A Dragon's name is actually a Shout. If you call a dragon using his name, then they will come. Now, is that clear?"

Karmyn nodded. Shouts, names, alright. He could do this.

"What name should I shout, then?"

Esbern flipped a page of the Atlas of Dragons.

"This dragon has been awaken recently, if I am to believe Delphine's map of dragon burial sites. His name is Odahviing, the Winged Snow-Hunter."

Karmyn read the name again, trying to imprint it in his mind. Snow, Hunt, Wing. Pretty easy to decipher when he had the meaning given on a silver platter.

"So, if I call that name, that dragon will come?"

"Dragons are prideful. They would never deny a challenge. And a former head of Alduin's army would certainly never pass on the occasion."

Karmyn nodded, taking that in. He waited for Esbern to look away before pocketing the atlas, for further reading. But Esbern noticed his lingering, and glared at him with a suspicious eye.

"Anything else, Dragonborn?"

Karmyn noticed his tone, and decided to backfire with a genuine question.

"Actually, yes. It's...um, well, it's about Shouts."

Esbern scoffed.

"Ask the Greybeards. I'm not the one you're looking for."

"Come on, you know more than you show. And you know all about the Word Walls and Dovahzul."

He smiled a bit.

"And honestly, I'd rather talk with you than these mountain dwellers. You're a way better company, after all."

That persuasion attempt worked, this time, for Esbern scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"Well...I suppose I could enlighten your doubts."

Karmyn grinned to himself.

"It's about a Thu'um in particular. Have you ever heard of...this one?"

He grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment, and wrote three words in Nord letters. The Storm Skies shout, the one that caused that rain outbreak near Falkreath. Esbern took it, and read it for a moment with a puzzled expression.

"This is...unlike any Shout I've ever seen. Sky, Fall...I suppose this one is Water?"

"I, uh. Heard it makes rain fall, or something."

Understatement of the year, he thought as he remembered the force of the storm.

"This looks correct in form, but it seems the formulation is quite off. It is too...simple, too broad. It could either summon a light rain or a torrential downpour, thus making it unefficient..."

He suddenly looked up at Karmyn.

"Don't tell me the Falkreath storm-"

"Was my fault, I know. I know. But tell me more about this, tell me… Is it possible to create new Shouts? Or do I have to stick to a premade list of words I read on random walls?"

Esbern looked taken aback by the question.

"An entire new Shout...no, this is not as simple as putting three words together. It takes power, and a great skill to lace words together into a Thu'um. Very few dragons are actually able of it."

Karmyn nodded, still questioning himself.

"Then...maybe that one already existed.", he admitted. "It's the only explanation I see."

"I will look into it."

Karmyn shrugged; and, his new mission in head, he walked away.

"Come on, Derky, we're going."

But his follower had disappeared. He looked around the hall, brows raised, and turned to Calder.

"In the dorms.", the latter responded before Karmyn could even open his mouth. "With the Khajiit."

The _Khajiit_? His curiosity peaking miles, Karmyn hurried to the dorms, following the voices he heard, and eventually pushing the door open,...only to find Derkeethus in the middle of a conversation with none other than Kharjo.  
He froze on the spot, and the two beasts looked at him, interrupted. They both had a tankard in hand, and were sitting by the fireplace, some meat and snacks laid on the table between them. The silence went heavy for a few seconds, during which no one moved, until Derkeethus eventually broke it.

"Hi there, Karmyn. I was just talking with dear Kharjo over there...I think you know him already, right?"

The Khajiit smiled, surprisingly, although it was a tad sardonic of a smile.

"Greetings indeed, my friend. Your companion makes for quite an exquisite company."

"We were chatting about stuff. Reminiscing. Trading news."

They didn't say it, but Karmyn had the sudden feeling they've also been gossiping. And as to about what, or _whom_ , he had an idea already.

"Oh. Well...this is surprising."

He looked at Kharjo. His mane was messy and part of his ear has been bandaged, but surprisingly, he was wearing the Blades' armor, proudly displaying his Moon Amulet on top.

Noticing his stare, the Khajiit chuckled.

"I wanted to be proactive, for once. So I enlisted in the Dragonguard. They were short on people, so they accepted."

"And he's told me of your adventures together.", Derkeethus added, serving himself another slice of cheese. "Why, I had no idea of how accustomed to me you exactly were, if you couldn't even train a newbie!"

"Please do not be harsh with Khajiit's friend, Green-eye.", Kharjo chided. "He does his best, as he can."

"Oh, but I'm not being harsh. I'm being realistic! Why, tell me again about what he did with that goat during your stay in Dawnstar!"

"Actually, don't!", Karmyn suddenly blurted.

The two of them laughed, while Karmyn could feel his ears flushing. Well, it was a better outcome than if Kharjo and Derkeethus were in bad terms, but...still! Did they really have to bond over Karmyn and the gossip they shared about him?  
Their laughter calmed down after a moment, and Derkeethus put down his cup.

"Oh my Hist. It's been a while since I've laughed like that!"

"Please, don't refrain yourself from laughing at me.", Karmyn ironized. "I _know_ you'll love it."

"Oh, but I do! Hey, Kharjo, did you know he also was really flirty when he was drunk?"

"Really?", the Khajiit replied, ears perking up. "Tell me all!"

"Well, we've decided to spend the night at an abandoned camp, and he suddenly whips out some Argonian Ale, saying it'd warm us up..."

Karmyn had to hold himself back to not rush at him and get him to shut up. He felt quite embarrassed to be the butt of the joke, but at least Kharjo didn't seem angry at him. Or, if he was, he was doing great at hiding it.  
And to be fair, out of all the outcomes of his and Kharjo's brief time together...this one maybe was the best. So he admitted to himself that not all hope was lost, and let the two friends to their gossiping.  
After all, bad publicity is still publicity.

~~~~~

"Dragonborn, is everything alright?"

Karmyn coughed out, his throat dry and coarse. He tried to speak, but his voice was basically dead right now. Never again would he call a dragon! That Shout had asked too much of his voice, so he had to push away the soldier with his hand. Derkeethus handed him a potion, which he hastily drank to recover. Great Talos, how painful! He spilled some of the blueish liquid from his lips, but at least he was feeling somewhat better now.

"I...ah, I'm fine. Just had a bit of dry throat, there, but- whoah, watch out!"

The dragon trapped in the wooden maws had just bucked forward, in a desperate attempt to escape this gross and vulgar trap. The soldiers readjusted the chains, effectively locking the beast in place, and the tight embrace of the trap eventually managed to block Odahviing's fire-breathing. Karmyn watched as the dragon tried once, twice, and eventually let its head down, admitting defeat.

"So now we have a dragon.", Vignar Gray-Mane commented, unbelieving. "But what will we use it for?"

"That would be the Dragonborn's plan from now on."

Karmyn nodded, coughing some more.

"I...I'll attempt conversation.", he said. "Now to hope it works."

"You know I'll save you if it attempt to bite you.", Derkeethus reassured. "Just try not to lose your head."

Karmyn chuckled.

"I'll try. Now...everyone back down, alright? Let me handle this."

No need to ask them twice. Derkeethus gave Karmyn a reassuring gaze, before stepping back as well, leaving him alone with the freshly-caught creature.  
Karmyn has never been so close to a dragon. Even Paarthurnax had always kept some distance between them, perched on top of his Word Wall like a haughty cat. But now, he could almost touch to Odahviing's thorny snout, even though he'd very likely get his arm bitten off. So he made sure to keep his hands at his sides, sheating all weapons he had equipped. Then he took a step closer.  
Slowly, Odahviing raised their head, looking up at him with eyes of a deep night blue. And they spoke.

" _Zok frini grind ko grah drun viiki, Kahrumin._ "

Karmyn blinked. Sure, he knew Dovahzul, but his knowledge of it was quite...limited. They said something about eagerness, and...bringing defeat? Oh, bring _their_ defeat. And what was that last word…? By the Hist, he was bad at this.  
And Odahviing obviously noticed it, for they growled in a manner similar to a chuckle.

"Apologies. It seems you have lost the gift of the _vun_ , and now speak just like mortals."

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm too fluent in their tongue either.", Karmyn shrugged, to unwind the mood. "Anyway, uh...nice to meet you, I suppose?"

"Spare me your foolish rituals. There is no need to humiliate me further than you already did."

"I assure you, Odahviing, it isn't my goal to humiliate you. No, all I want is some help."

The dragon shook their heavy head, making the trap shake a little. The soldiers stepped back once more.

"I will admit my defeat to you, Dovahkiin. You have fought well, and I can recognize your victory. But I know of your intentions, and let me tell you that mere traps won't be enough to stop Alduin."

"This is why I've brought you here."

Odahviing looked at Karmyn for a moment, staring with intensity. But the Argonian held his glare, not backing down.

"So this is your plan?", they scoffed after a long moment. "To trade my freedom for help with betraying the World-Eater himself?"

"Well...basically."

This time, the dragon let out an odd noise that sounded like a sardonic laugh.

"You have some guts, Dovahkiin. Either that, or you are the most foolish _dovah_ I have ever met."

"I know, I know. And you know, I'm starting to take pride in my foolishness. Because my plans may be stupid, but they work."

"They do indeed. This is why I believe you're suited for the task. Many _dov_ are starting to break away from Alduin's rule, but they don't have what it takes. They would never dare to go against the order of things."

They looked at him deeply, and Karmyn swore their tone changed.

"But you...you, Kahrumin, have always gone against orders of all sorts. No one but you could do this."

The need to ask was itching at him. But there were people around, people who could overhear and get a wrong idea of things. For now, he decided to keep on with the plan.

"So. You've been Alduin's help, you know of his whereabouts. What could he be doing now?"

"The battle at the _Monhaven_ had left him greatly injured. He has returned to Sovngarde for the time being, to feed on souls and restore his power. This is a privilege he keeps for himself, but I know of where from he can access this place."

"Good. Tell me, then."

"Oh, but it won't be so simple. Dovahkiin, you may have the thu'um of a _dovah_ , but lost the wings of one. Skuldafn, the portal to Sovngarde, cannot be accessed by mere footways."

Karmyn sighed, looking around.

"Let me guess. I grant you freedom, and you act as my ride?"

Odahviing scoffed of indignation.

"I am no mule you can ride at will. I am merely helping you defeat the Dark One, and never would I resort to such...methods."

"Fine, then."

Karmyn stood back up, not realising he's been sitting down for a moment now, and returned to the group of anxiously waiting humans and beasts.

"I will return when you're more enclined to help.", he said in an imitation of a cold tone. "Maybe some loneliness up here will help you make up your mind."

He went back into the palace, Derkeethus following. The latter was in utter admiration, to say the least.

"That was insane!", he exclaimed. "How coldly they stared at you! I thought they were going too eat you on the spot!"

Karmyn chuckled to himself.

"I thought so, too."

His mind darted back to the book of dragons.

"I thought so."

~~~~~

The feast at Dragonsreach was lively. Mead was flowing, meats were roasting away on the fire, and everyone was having a great time. Soldiers, nobles, civilians alike were celebrating the soon-to-be defeat of the dragon menace, and the capture of a live dragon in these very halls, solid and secure. Of course, the Argonian duo has been invited to the celebration, feasting and rejoicing with the crowd. And so did they, for a time, until Karmyn decided to sneak away from the rest of the crowd, pretexting a need for fresh air. He had hesitated for a while now, but after a quick trip to the kitchens to smuggle some meat, he climbed the stairs up to the porch.  
Odahviing was still there, in a seemingly asleep state. But when Karmyn approached in the greatest silence possible, the dragon opened their eyes, looking straight at him.

"I thought you would leave me to rot here until the end of time.", they grunted sarcastically.

"I'm not that cruel, you know. I just...well, I thought you'd like some company."

And he sat in front of him. From there, he could feel the dragon's hot breath, see the slight glint of their teeth, and almost feel the sharpness of their scales. But he kept a respectful distance, to not offend them.  
To not keep up with a disrespectful stare-off, he pulled out some slabs of meat from his inventory.

"Are you hungry? They're having a feast down there, I thought it'd be nice to share."

"As you may know, I do not need food like you lowly mortals. I am doing very well without sustenance of any kind."

"Really? Then why do you keep attacing cattle and such?"

Odahviing scoffed, watching Karmyn eat his venison steak.

"Hunting is merely a sport, and eating is but a distraction. We do it for leisure more than to quench any real need."

"Oh. Well, don't you want some distraction, right now? I've pickpocketed a little something just for you.", he said as he pulled an entire roasted beef leg from his pocket.

The dragon considered it with wary eyes, and after a long moment, reluctantely opened its massive maw. Making sure not to trip and fall in, Karmyn tossed the beef piece into these jaws, that snapped close like a spring, swallowing the meat without even chewing.

"I have more, if you want. Just ask."

Licking their sharp teeth, Odahviing looked down at Karmyn with condescending eyes.

"I have no interest in being fed by a mere mortal. I have fallen low enough."

"Oh, come on. I'm not just _any_ mortal. Look, I got..."

He stood up and took off his Daedric Helm, showing off his facial features.

"I got scales, and...and horns, and a tail. Just like a dragon. And I even have the soul of one! We're not so different, you know."

He felt rather exposed under the dragon's scrutiny, untder the stare of these piercing eyes. It felt so odd, and unpleasant. But somehow, as he looked back into their navy irises, he saw some emotion akin to wondering.

"You really do not remember, do you?"

The question surprised him. He didn't really like it. He looked away, unsure of what to say at first.

"Remember...that implies there's something I've forgotten, isn't there?"

"It does seem so… Your body has changed, but your _sil_ remains."

Karmyn nodded.

"Actually...that's why I wanted to talk to you."

He sat down again, and picked the Atlas of Dragons, flipping the pages.

"The Blades keep records of dragons they've slain. There's a lot of names in there, even yours. And I've met some of them, but...there's one that piques my interest."

He showed them a page he's bookmarked, with the sketch of the short-snout dragon.

"His name is foreign to me, but...that's what you called me earlier, right?"

Odahviing looked at him with a faint squint.

"You _did_ forget..."

They shook their head, unbelieving.

"I called you by your name, Kahrumin. Don't you recognize it?"

 _Kahrumin._ The name of the short-snout dragon. Karmyn tried to make out its meaning, but he only knew the first word that made up the name: "pride". He looked up at Odahviing, not understanding.

"What do you mean, 'my name'? Is there...is there something I should know?"

The dragon rest their head, staring at him with those intense, knowing eyes.

"Have you never wondered how you came to be, Dovahkiin? How your noble soul came to be born in a mortal body?"

"I...I suppose? I always thought it was just a power, or an anomaly…but I never really asked myself..."

"Then it is time you do so. It is time..."

Colored steam slipped out of their mouth.

"It is time you see for yourself."

And they called.  
Three words, that echoed in Karmyn's ears, nearly deafening him. Flashes of light danced before his eyes, making him dizzy and staggering. Then voices, voices that echoed along with the pain that rose sharply around his chest.  
And then, before he knew it, everything had gone dark. His consciousness faded, as he tried desperately to hang onto its last bits, as he tried with all his power to stay awake. But his spirit didn't comply, and instead decided to ditch consciousness altogether to replace it with what Karmyn knew to be _memories._

~~~~~

 _I remember I could fly._  
_It was a natural, amazing feeling. I could roam the land and terrorize the lowly creatures that couldn't leave the ground. I could speak, and fire would come out of my jaws. I could sweep my tail, and forests would fall. I could claw at the ground, and mountains would crumble apart._  
_I was free._  
_My name...I recalled it, back then. My name was Proud Root-Master. Granted by this name, my fate was to seek new powers and words, and teach them to my brethren. I had mastered the roots of the Voice, traveling the world to share this knowledge with whomever would seek it. I was a fierce fighter, knowing how to turn a battle to my advantage. My kin thus respected me, held me in high regards, filling my ego and my pride. It was a life I had accepted as mine long ago._  
_But this life didn't last long. One day, I had been slain. By a gang of lowly creatures who caught me. They teamed up, hundreds of them, and overpowered me with their voiceless magic. I wasn't worried about dying, for my kin couldn't die. Our souls would stay in our bodies, until time was right to be awakened again._  
_I remember dying. It was long, and I felt it would never end. I remember pain, blood, darkness. I remember not being afraid at all, and simply...accepting it._  
_I don't know how much time I spent, trapped in my own body. I knew it would only be a matter of time until I got out. I knew I shouldn't be afraid, and I wasn't._  
_But it was lonely, in there._  
_I spent a lot of time in this state. I don't know how long it has been. It's not like time mattered to me, anyway. All I know is, after a time I started to get...bored._  
_Lonely. Restless._  
_I figured out I could move. Somehow, I wasn't in my body anymore, and even though I was linked to it, it was...no, it wasn't what I thought. So I moved. I went further away from it, slowly. And before I knew it, I was free once again._  
_I wanted to fly away. I wanted to see something else than this darkness. But I couldn't. So I kept going, again and again. And it seemed to be an infinitely long walk across shadows. I'm not even sure I was moving at all. But I kept going, always moving. It became clear I wanted to go away from this void. But it felt like I couldn't, and I started to get desperate. I wanted to get out of there, more than anything in the world. So I forgot about my wings, and ran._  
_I was...fast. Light. Agile. It was a feeling I've never known, and yet I liked it. My body has always been heavy, and slow...but not anymore. This was something new, something I liked. Something I wanted._  
_That's when I heard it. A voice I've never heard before. But it felt as if I knew it, recognized it. I don't remember exactly what it said, or if I even understood it. But I think we spent a long time talking as I ran in the void. There was something about...a choice? A chance? I'm not too sure. In the end, I agreed to something...and before I knew it, light appeared around me._  
_I was somewhere. I didn't know where. This place didn't feel like a place either, but I knew it was different. There were other creatures, all around me. I couldn't see them, as I couldn't even see...no, I could feel them. So I started to wander around._  
_There were creatures...people. Many of them were forming tight groups, packs, clans. The place I was in was like a crossroads between worlds, where I could see all that was happening._  
_I saw many different realms. Some were warm, wild landscapes; some were peaceful households. Some were unending amusement, some were eternal rest. Some were a single soul's journey, some were reunions of long-separated people. And all seemed more appealing to me than staying my own prisoner until the end of time._  
_I walked across these realms, exploring them one after the other. I saw many different landscapes, many people. Some did see me, but they didn't care. I didn't care either, at first._  
_The voice came back after a time. I think it talked about a choice, I'm sure of it now. Did I have to choose one of these places? I think that was it, yes. But I didn't know which one to choose, especially since I felt in my gut that I could only make that choice once. So I kept going, without stopping._  
_After a time, though...one of these realms seemed more appealing than the others. It had the appearance of a lush place, filled with trees. Lots of ponds, and lakes, in which the large trees would dip their roots. And there were other people there._  
_I couldn't make them out at first, until I came closer. And I saw they had thorny heads, long tails, sharp teeth and long snouts. They had scales all over their bodies. They looked very familiar...maybe I had these, at one point? I couldn't remember what I used to look like, by now. I was so used to that small, agile body, that I had forgotten about my might and my strength._  
_I walked closer, watching them. They were in large groups, knit together closely. Sometimes, groups would come closer, and all these souls would fret with good emotions, getting together like big families. And among these packs, I was walking like a stranger, without anyone I knew._  
_It didn't take them long to notice me. I felt they were afraid at first, but they seemed to warm up to my presence. Maybe we didn't look so different…yes, I recall I was like them. I had tough skin, and sharp teeth, and a long tail...how long? I didn't know anymore. I think I had chosen to appear as one of them, now. It was easier for me._  
_They asked so many questions. How many times did I reincarnate? Where was my soul family? Did I have any soulmates? I couldn't answer, I was too confused. I told them I was new, and a bit lost. They said things to try and reassure me, or asked even more questions, but it all became overwhelming after a time. I didn't like it, I felt there were way too many voices all around, much more than I've ever been faced with. I wanted to crawl away and disappear, to be alone._  
_Out of the blue, one of these souls led me away from the crowd and their voices. Guided me to the pond, where there was no one yet. Here, some purple light had started to gleam, between the roots of the trees._  
_The other soul told me I could try swimming there, and start a new existence. I'd meet friends and family, and I would be happy next time I come back here. I was confused at first, but I decided to trust this stranger, because they reached out their hand first._  
_There was something about them. Something warm, comforting, that felt foreign to me. An odd feeling that made a new emotion arise inside of me, one I never got the chance to feel. I remember asking if they would come with me, and they said they didn't feel ready yet. But I truly was lost, and they looked so helpful...I didn't want to let go of this kind person. Not yet. So I held onto them, and made it known to them that, as much as I wanted to go, I was scared._  
_I think something happened. But I'm not sure what it was. The other soul touched to mine for a brief moment, as if to embrace me, and it felt very good. I think we both noticed it. Slowly, we pushed in a little closer, and this emotion became stronger. It felt so comforting, in a way I've never felt before. And when it broke away, I felt...I felt something starting to lack within me._  
_Something within me had changed. It was so subtle, I didn't even know what it was...but the more I looked into it, and the more natural it felt._  
_I looked at them a last time, as if I wanted to etch their soul into mine, and keep this happiness forever. They said we would find each other when the time was right, and I agreed. Time...this wasn't something I feared. The purple lights became their brightest, and souls started to swim into the pond, reaching for them. I stayed with that one person for another moment before letting go, and soon followed the others into the depths._  
_I don't know what happened, but as soon as I touched the ethereal water, I felt something taking place inside of me. As I was swimming, trying to grab onto the roots, I felt myself become heavy, more aware of what was happening around me._  
_I grabbed onto a root, and the purple light surrounded me. The feeling of lack gradually disappeared, along with everything else, and for the first time ever, I felt...weak._  
_There was a small cracking sound. Something that had squeezed my body tight suddenly vanished, leaving room for soreness and ache. I opened my eyes, and rose to the surface, swimming like I could._  
_I remember gasping for water before adapting to air. I remember my voice calling, but no fire or thunder came out. I had forgotten I could speak magic out of my jaws. I had forgotten everything._  
_My mind became overflown with lowly needs, my needs. I felt hunger. I felt cold. I felt tiredness. I felt...sadness. All I wanted was for someone to pick up my small, terribly small body, just like the dozens of other hatchlings that were huddled to me._  
_Very soon, these new emotions and feelings took over. And then, I had forgotten anything I could have had recalled._  
_I had forgotten down to my own name._

~~~~~

The view from the higher walls of Whiterun was truly splendid. Under Karmyn's feet, the ochre plains were spreading for miles around, reaching out to the horizon, only crossed by the blue river slithering between rocks and farmhouses. The forest covered the land like it was trying to eat at it, but stopped from doing so by the hills and mountain slopes. Up in the clouds, no dragon was to be seen, luckily; only the moons and the northern lights.  
There was silence, a thoughtful silence. Karmyn's head felt heavy, resting on his arms, lain on the stones of the wall. He hadn't said a word since he's left Odahviing's company, claiming he needed to think. But he didn't know what to think of everything he's seen, everything he's...recalled. Even this word felt strange to him, after all these memories coming in have finished wrecking his mind, and changing everything he has believed in.  
He was a _dragon_. He couldn't believe it. He had been a dragon in his past life, he could fly and terrorize people, but got a new existence as an Argonian. And he hadn't been just any dragon...he had been respected, admired! He...he had helped spreading the Voice, he had helped make it! And now, centuries, millenia after the death of his original body, he was still there, now meant to turn against his own kin!  
This story was unbelievable, even though it explained some things, of course. But it raised so many new questions too. And he didn't know what to believe in anymore. Everything he thought he knew about himself was a lie, an illusion, a fabrication. And he couldn't bear the thought of it.  
In his introspection, he barely noticed the hand that gently touched to his shoulder. Raising his head, he saw Derkeethus's worried eyes looking at him.  
Derkeethus. Always present, always at his side. He had been looking for Karmyn when he didn't reappear, and had listened to his dazed rambles about being a dragon, and let him time to collect himself away from the party before coming back to him. He understood, more than anyone.  
Karmyn had once told him he's never loved anyone else, except in previous soul cycles. Back then, he had no way to be sure, only vague hunches like any other Argonian. But now...now he knew. There has been someone, some soul like him, who held out a hand to him and helped him when he had nothing to hold onto. When he wasn't a dragon anymore, but not an Argonian yet.  
And there, back in the Realm of the Hist, they...they have bonded. They have grown this deep connection shared by souls who wanted to spend their next lives together. They have decided that no matter what birth they would be of, they would find each other and resume what they had, and keep it going no matter how many lives they would live. They have made the unspoken promise that, no matter what would happen, they'd always have someone to hold onto and to rely on.  
Since he knew he had a soulmate, he couldn't help but wonder whom it could be. Of course, his doubts didn't last long, not when Derkeethus was omnipresent in his mind. But of course, now that the latter knew as well, knew all about Karmyn's real identity and past life...it felt odd. It felt much more fragile of a bond.  
But yet, he was still there. He was there at his side, worried for him, as if everything he's heard hasn't changed anything.

"Say...you still love me, right?", he asked.

Derkeethus smiled, and took him into a gentle embrace.

"I promised I'd love you no matter what. Even if you were a dragon in your past life. Oblivion, you could have been a Sload for all I care! I would still love the you from right now."

That joke brought a weak smile to his lips.

"Oh, you little _mey_..."

And he returned the embrace, enjoying the tight feeling of his arms. It never failed to bring warmth to his heart.  
After a moment, he pulled away, and looked at him with a smile, cupping his cheek.

"I...I wanted to thank you.", he hesitated. "Thank you for being with me. For sticking around, even after everything."

Derkeethus smiled back, cupping his cheek in return.

"You too, Karmyn. I need to thank you too."

"Really? What for?"

"You made me understand what love truly was about. I used to think it was only about having eggs...and maybe avoid dying alone. But now..."

He looked into his eyes. His own were shining a light mint green, under the light of the moons.

"Now I know what it really means to be in love. And I owe it all to you."

Their snouts gently touched, their eyes closed. Karmyn leaned in some more, and kissed his lips, for a time that seemed as always too short. The familiar warmth helped his heart pain somewhat, and reassured his doubts. They parted again after a moment, but Karmyn kept his head on Derkeethus's shoulder, eyes still closed.  
As they kept nuzzling, hidden in a corner of the rempart, a thought came to him.

"You know...I will have to do very dangerous things, to get into Sovngarde. And it's possible I...I don't..."

He couldn't bring himself to say it. But then again, he didn't need to speak it out. Not when his partner was as understanding and trustful.

"So I thought...maybe it's best we get married soon."

He looked up, meeting his lover's gaze.

"What do you think? Becoming a real thing, maybe...yeah, maybe have a little ceremony. Find an occasion to be happy."

Derkeethus seemed a little taken aback by the suggestion; but soon after, he smiled wide.

"I would love to marry you, Karmyn."

"R-really?"

He nodded; and, to Karmyn's great surprise, he pulled out something from his pocket. Something that looked like an amethyst ring.  
Karmyn looked up at him in sheer disbelief.

"Don't tell me you…?"

Derkeethus nodded, smiling.

"I made it around when I...started missing you. And when I saw you also had one, I thought...it would be a shame to waste it."

He took Karmyn's hand, kissing his fingers gently.

"I love you with all my heart, Karmyn. And if we really are soulmates, you and I, then you know my feelings are true."

And, slowly, he slipped the ring on Karmyn's finger.  
It was a beautiful ring, of rather intricate craft. It had slight incrustations of ebony slitering over its surface, in a lovely pattern of curls that reminded him of the sea. Under the moonlight, the amethysts shone of a slight burgundy hue, while the swirls seemed to dance like living little serpents.  
Smiling at the sight of his wonder, Karmyn took his own ring from the chain around his neck, and put it on Derkeethus's waiting finger. This one had engravings instead, very fine engravings that mimicked the branches of a Hist tree, safely surrounding the periwinkle stones. These two jewels have been crafted separately, and yet, they seemed so complementary in their form. Karmyn couldn't help smiling, as he took his lover into a warm embrace, kissing his lips again, their bodies bathing in raising moonlight.  
It would be alright, he thought to himself. It would all be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo many things I had to say in this one. Woo!
> 
>  _Zok frini grind ko grah drun viiki_ : My most eagerness (to) meet (you) in battle brought my defeat. (Game quote)  
>  _Vun_ : tongue, language  
>  _Monhaven_ : Throat of the World  
>  _Sil_ : soul  
>  _Kahrumin_ : Pride-Root-Master


	25. Riften

Karmyn was nervous.  
For the past two hours, everytime someone has asked him anything, he only replied by stating his nervousness. From how to put the flowers together to where to seat the guests, and of course what were his own feelings about the whole deal, the only answer he was able to give was invariably either "I don't know" or "I'm too nervous". And it was becoming quite annoying after a time, as well as his mindset in general. But afterall, he had a reason to be so wary.  
It was a clear morning of Sun's Dusk. Since sunrise, the little hastily-formed team has been really busy setting things up in Riften, and couldn't afford to waste time. Several days of preparation, following weeks of planning, have gone into this one day, and Karmyn couldn't afford to have it fail. He tried to make it as perfect as possible: Shout the weather clear, rush away from preparations to fight a pesky dragon, and try to not let his anxious mood show. He's even slaughtered a couple foxes while helping bring some decorations outside, on the edge of the water. Of course he's dismissed it as gathering nice pelts for later, but everyone knew it was bluff.  
He was scared, true. He even started to doubt whether this was right. But as he thought, he kept remembering how his days were counted, how his mission as Dragonborn would maybe have dangerous outcomes. He couldn't afford to hesitate and let his possibly-only chance pass. While he's never really thought about marriage before, about spending his life with someone, the idea now didn't seem so bad, even though it raised a lot of questions. Couples would break apart, love could fade, fights could occur. And if there were children involved, so many other questions would need to be asked.  
He's never thought about children either. About leaving a trace of himself in the world, starting a lineage of his own. Raising hatchlings and watching them grow and learn. To be fair, before his Dovahkiin life started, he's barely thought of himself as mature enough to raise younglings of any sort. And even after he got in a more comfortable position to live and grow, his life had by then become way too dangerous. Just look at all the weapons he was keeping around the house! That was no place to keep a hatchling in! Not to mention all the complications that made it very difficult for baby Argonians to be born outside of Black Marsh.  
Derkeethus and himself have only thought of marriage and children as something that could happen. A possibility, a hypothetical situation, but they never made any solid plans until now. And then, they've started to plan their married life, to talk of building a new house. They've spoken thoughts about their wedding, vague and hypothetical, but present. Karmyn didn't have a lot of ideas, so he agreed with his lover's proposition of having a ceremony of traditional Argonian style. And since it was impossible for Karmyn to return to Black Marsh (for maybe the An-Xileel were still tracking the stolen seeds), they decided to have it here in Skyrim.  
They've chosen Riften, where most weddings would take place. It had a beautiful lake right by the city, and the Temple of Mara right by, for there were a lot of men and mer guests who wouldn't appreciate the subtleties of an Argonian ceremony, and preferred to keep it to a much more traditional Skyrimean wedding. The two-part ceremony was a little complex to pull off, but it would allow for the future spouses to be recognized both by the Hist and in Skyrim law. And it would mean twice the rejoicing; for today was a day to be happy, after all.  
Most of the day was spent in preparations. Supplies had to be fetched, people to be invited. Karmyn had taken a walk between two tasks to calm his nerves, and got into a brawl with another dragon, which greatly annoyed his friends who were very busy helping him. Despite the futility of their usually loveless commitment, Argonians took marriage very seriously, and the rites had to be respected. And there was no way Karmyn would wear an ash-covered armor to his own wedding, which meant they had to find something else. And clean the blood off, again.  
He was starting to get bored of this. He hasn't seen Derkeethus all day and was wondering whether he was fine. If there was a second team of hustling Hist-beings busying him around, making him go through the usual and traditional preparations of an Argonian groom. He thought that since there wouldn't be a bride, they could do without the crocodile scale cloak, the crushed eggshells or the jeweled horn ornaments. But Karmyn felt like keeping the latter, since he had a lot of gemstones to spare anyway.  
It took a long time of last-day preparations, but by afternoon, everything was finally ready. Setting his doubts aside and letting courage into his heart, Karmyn stepped out of Honeyside, followed by his friends, and headed down to the doors of Riften.

~~~~~

The water was almost still, glistening faintly under the autumn sun. Around the shore, birch trees were gently rustling their orange-clad branches in the breeze, in a soft rhythm only interrupted by the flight and landing of a songbird. The grass was green and fresh under people's feet, still glistening with dewdrops from yesterday's rain. But now, there wasn't a single cloud in the sky.  
The guests had taken place around the designated spot, sitting down on the ground. There weren't many of them, for most of them were Argonians. The rest of the party was waiting at Mara's Temple, for the "official" ceremony, but for now this one was taking place. And to the two future spouses, this one mattered maybe more than what Skyrim laws defined a wedding ceremony to be.  
On the shore of the Riften lake, a branch has been planted, coming straight from the Umbriel Hist tree of Sleeping Tree Camp. It has been cut and brought for the occasion, as grown trees of this kind were difficult to come across in northern climates, or out of Black Marsh for that matter. Arranged around that stand-in tree, a path of white stones has been laid into the water, decorated with flowers and plants. Lanterns have been put up in the trees, to light up the beginning of dusk in an array of blues and purples. Torchbugs and colorful butterflies were flying around slowly, adding to the somewhat ethereal impression this ceremony was giving off. Incense wood was slowly burning in a copper pot laid under the sapling, giving off a soft scent into the already warm air. Overall, it looked like a scene straight out of a Second Era painting: romanesque and charming, yet somewhat mystical.  
Talen-Jei then stood up, carrying in his hands an effigy made of clay, and slowly walked down the path of stones. One by one, the guests joined their hands over their chest, and let out what could seem like a slow, sad hum, as if they were singing. It was a beautiful melody that accompanied the elder's gestures, as he put the effigy of Sithis under the sapling, following the old tradition. He then joined the others and sang with them, the melody slowly rising as the sun came down. The lanterns glowed brighter, bathing the trees and the flowers in a soft blueish light, like an underwater spectacle. The scene now had all aspects of an ancient ritual, whose sacred rites have been passed down the ages from the first Hist-beings to Argonian children of Skyrim. The song continued like a lamentation, a prayer, one that no foreign ear would recognize as a happy chant, even the few men and mer sitting in the last row or watching from afar. And yet it was, and all these guests were singing in happiness and congratulation, for very soon someone else came walking down the path of stones.  
The ceremonial armor fit Karmyn like a glove, and himself was surprised to admit it. The blueish ebony plates have been trimmed with silver, and so was the sword at his side, forsaking efficiency for beauty. His thorns were ornamented with jewels and gemstones, which were glistening of a magic gleam under the aquatic light. His status was reflected by the crest on his chestplate, representing a dragon with Argonian traits, wings open and claws out. And despite his nervousness, he gave off an impression of calm and serenity, keeping his body language controlled. Walking head up, tail straight, of a calm and controlled pace.  
He couldn't really believe this was happening, and yet there he was. There he was, walking down the white stones as his friends kept singing, walking down to the Hist sapling. He stopped in front of it, gesturing his hands in reverence, and stood as upright as he could. Yet taken over by nervousness and something akin to excitement, he couldn't help glancing back to where his lover was waiting.  
Where Karmyn was subtle shadow, Derkeethus was light. His gilded Elven armor shone like the moon in the night, giving more color to the feathers on his horns. The shield and staff on his back gave him some look of a battlemage's, which was fitting his status. To complete the effect, he wore a circlet made for the occasion, with silver he mined himself and Soul Gem fragments gathered during his fights. Where a year ago he would have gotten married with a pickaxe on his back and in whatever shiny rags he would pass as fine clothing, he now felt like a noble of sorts. He couldn't believe that he would be entering that new part of his life as a fighter, a warlock, instead of a simple miner. As he walked down the stones as well, still guided by the singing of the crowd, he couldn't help but reflect on it for a moment. This was happening, this was really happening. And he felt strangely euphoric about it.  
When Derkeethus reached the stage surrounded with flowers, the song came to a slow close. Under the watchful eyes of their friends, the two spouses gently picked one of their scales, and laid them down under the small tree, to burn away with the incense wood. Karmyn looked his fiancé over, and couldn't help a smile, that soon got returned bashfully. He still, still couldn't believe this was really happening.  
The two of them held hands, and looked at each other. The song has ended for a moment, but somehow it seemed like the music kept playing, echoing to everyone's ears as if to join them through something they all shared in this instant. Some words were spoken in a ceremonial tone, and Karmyn didn't know where they came from, or whose voice it was. For now, all he cared about was the man in front of him, and the love they shared. The love that brought everyone together here, in this day, in this moment.  
Slowly, he let go, and took the ring he carried around his neck. The ring with periwinkle amethysts, and Hist branches engravings. Derkeethus did the same with his own ring, the one with burgundy gems and ebony swirls. Each in turn, they fit the rings to the other's hand, on their right middle fingers. Derkeethus's hands were shaking a little, but he did not let the ring fall. It felt a little odd, and Karmyn found his mind to be hazy once again. It felt like a dream, one that he didn't want to wake up from. One that would be cruel to wake up out of. He contemplated their jointed hands for a moment, trying to reassure himself that all of this was real. And visibly, Derkeethus had the same thought, seeing his slightly disbelieving eyes.  
They stood together, and let go of each other's hand. Then, each on their way, they took a branch of the path that circled the small Hist tree, stepping into the cold water. Lilies and colored stones have been laid out around, tracing the path on which they met again, this time holding hands. They hesitated for a moment, not knowing which way to choose to return to shore. Normally the groom would lead his new bride back around the Hist tree, and she would lead from then on, but here again this proved a little difficult. So Karmyn took his lover's hand, and walked back on his own path, as Derkeethus got the idea and did the same. They walked out of the water each on their side, hands still holding, and raised their arms when they came at the sapling's level as to not touch it, before coming back in the front together. This idea was quite silly, but it worked. And it showed a lot about how their married life would turn out.  
The chant had continued, echoing in the air like a song of nature, as the two spouses knelt down in front of the tree, letting water drip from their armors. A single cup of Hist sap has been laid in front of the tree, and Karmyn took it carefully. He held it for Derkeethus to take a sip, and the latter returned the favor. Then, they bowed their heads down in prayer, as the chanting only got louder and more complex. The voices seemed to come from tenfold the number of guests, like an ancient choir that wouldn't come from land or sea, but from far further than any mortal plane they knew of.  
He looked up into his lover's eyes, and for a moment, he saw something out of this world. For a moment, for a very brief figment of a second, he saw in stead of his lover someone he didn't recognize, but knew like one knows a very distant yet dear friend. He closed his eyes, trying to grasp onto this feeling, this thin sliver of familiarity, before it faded away almost immediately. He opened his eyes again, and saw his lover, his husband, holding hands with him and opening confused eyes. And he just knew that he had the same impression, the same vision just now.  
All around, the guests were greeting, clapping and shouting in celebration. And from further away on the shore came even more merry voices, people cheering for the two Argonians whose ceremony they didn't understand, but enjoyed all the same. Karmyn looked up, at all these faces that he knew in some way, and couldn't help smiling. The two stood up, accepting the cheers and flowers thrown their way, as they walked back onto land, following the stone path. But when they glanced at each other, they knew they shared the same idea; so they hand helds tight, and ran up the path, for walking wouldn't convey their joy with nearly as much intensity. They ran under people's amused shouts, horrified glares or confused mimics, and when they reached the end of the trail, Karmyn took Derkeethus by the hips and lifted him up, spinning him around like a lovestruck youngster. The confused, scared yet excited Derkeethus held onto his shoulders, laughing his heart out; and when his feet touched the ground again, he grabbed Karmyn's face and kissed him deeply, running his thumbs over his jaw thorns. They parted after some seconds, still dizzy from the spinning, or maybe from love. It felt the same to them.  
_We still have a ceremony at Mara's temple. Save all the kissing for later_ , Derkeethus thought, letting his feelings be shared through their sap-drunk mind.  
_Maybe, but for now we're married. And that's all I need to know_ , Karmyn chided in return, kissing his snout.  
Behind them, the procession was forming, and people were already leading the way back into Riften. The second ceremony would be much more formal, and probably less mystical than the old-style Argonian rites, but it was part of the celebration. For after all, the Dragonborn's wedding was an event not to miss!  
Karmyn offered his arm galantly, and his groom accepted the invitation. Following the crowd and the lights, they made their way back into the city, under the first northern lights of the evening.

~~~~~

The party was still going on in town on the crowded marketplace, and a lot of people from all corners of Skyrim have gone to be part of it. Companions of Whiterun, mages of Winterhold, thieves from Riften and a lone Shadowscale have joined in. There even were a couple bards from taverns around the Hold who decided to come in and take care of the music, turning this wedding celebration into a true party of sorts. It would be hard to get any sleep in town that night.  
Karmyn and Derkeethus couldn't really believe it all happened. But the silver rings on their fingers, soon joined by the golden bands blessed by the priest of Mara, were enough to disprove their doubts. Here they were, in the middle of the party, giving away their jeweled ornaments as per tradition and sharing their excitement with the guests. They've accepted the gifts they've been given, may it be gold, animal pelts or the usual sap-flavored candy that was bound to be present at an Argonian wedding, and even though they have taken part in the feast, they weren't in a very intense party mood. They loved the attention and the care, but for a moment now, they've felt like leaving and finding some alone time. Yet they couldn't do so until later in the night, where the party had dissipated a little and they could manage to sneak away from the lightening crowd.  
They came to a stop by the canals, where there was no one to be found save for the random passerby with generic congratulations, or some homeless beggars sleeping on porches, to whom Derkeethus gave away most of their gifted coins. The two of them sat by the water, listening to the sounds of music and amusement coming from above, dissipating a little with distance.  
They didn't really know what to say, and it was alright. They didn't feel the need to. Derkeethus had removed his various ornaments, looking at the water underneath their feet. Karmyn was snacking on some candy, admiring the silver trim of his armor. They were holding hands, still a little bashfully, yet their tails were wrapped together tightly in a silent display of intimacy. And it felt to the both of them like utmost perfection.  
Yet after a time of silent contemplation, they looked at each other again. The effects of the sap have started to wear off a little, and their mutual thoughts were already a little disconnected. Derkeethus hesitated for a moment, before speaking out.

"So...what now?", he asked.

"What do you mean, what now? Can't I spend a moment with my beloved husband without thinking about the future?"

He chuckled. 'Husband', what a word so sweet. It rolled on his tongue like honey, and left the same sweetness inside him.

"Unless maybe you're thinking about _that_ kind of what now.", he added with a wink.

Derkeethus rolled his eyes with a smile, nudging him a little.

"You're silly."

"I'm not silly, I'm your husband."

"You're my silly husband, then."

"And you can be my serious husband if you'd like. We'd be a pair of a kind."

He laid his head down on Derkeethus's shoulder.

"Implying we aren't already?", Derkeethus teased, caressing his thorns.

"Silly me, of course we are. We've always been a pair of a kind, the best there is in Skyrim."

"In all of Tamriel, you mean."

"In all of Mundus."

"Mundus and all the void around it."

"Exactly."

They laughed a little at their combined childishness, and Karmyn looked up at him.

"No, in all honesty. What's troubling you?"

Derkeethus didn't reply right away.

"You know...the future in general. What's next after this big milestone we've passed today."

Karmyn sat up a little, holding his hand.

"You're thinking about Alduin, right? About my mission into Sovngarde?"

"And all the risks there are."

Karmyn nodded in understanding.  
Married or not, he remained the Dragonborn. And this title, symbolized by the dragon on his chest, came with terrible weight and consequences. He couldn't keep running away from his fate, his role in the great play of events. Sooner or later he would have to follow Odahviing into the other world, and take down Alduin once and for all. Even if it means he would likely lose his life.

"I know I swore to my duty.", he replied. "But...nothing says I cannot spend time with you before following Odahviing."

He held both his hands, his thumbs running over his spouse's dual rings.

"I will take you on the best honeymoon there is. I will treat you like a prince, like _my_ prince. You won't regret a single second of time spent with me. And even when it's time for me to go, I will do my best to come back."

He let go for a moment, and took off his amulet of Talos.

"We will explore the world. We will go where no fighting couple ever went before. We will found a family, we...we will adopt children, or even have some of our own! We will be there for each other. I promise."

He gently took Derkeethus's hand, and put the pendant in his palm.

"All you have to do is think of me. And with your help, I will carry on my quest."

Derkeethus looked at the blade-shaped emblem in his hand, then at Karmyn. He hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to think, but nodded.

"I will keep you in my heart at all times."

He took the pendant's chain, and put it around his neck, resting it right over his heart. Karmyn smiled, opening his arms, and his lover accepted the tender embrace.  
For a moment, his worries disappeared. His thoughts drifted away from Alduin, the Elder Scroll and all the rest, and focused on this tender being that had nestled into his arms. He couldn't help smiling wide, holding him tight against him, even when they parted a long time later. Their snouts gently bumped together, and they nuzzled each other with love, kissing softly.

"Let's not worry about dragons for now, alright?", Karmyn offered. "Let's...let's go home."

Derkeethus raised a brow at him, his smile turning into a grin.

"Do you have any...plans for tonight, hot stud?"

"Well...I have a date with my very hot husband, right now. He's very demanding, and I need to please him."

"Please him, huh? Why, I'd love to hear more about how you'll proceed~"

Karmyn grinned, getting up and taking his spouse in his arms.

"I could tell you, but you know what they say. Show, not tell."

Derkeethus giggled, holding him close, not even feeling the usual rush of fast travel as Karmyn brought him back home. He still carried him when he walked through the door, to Derkeethus's surprise. But Karmyn had a soul full of romance, so he couldn't help himself.  
His heart was full of love, and his mind was full of both fear and eagerness for the future. A future he hoped to share with his husband, as long as his fate would let him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always digged far and done research when it came to Elder Scroll lore, but the Argonian wedding is where I finally said "fuck it". Fill it with headcanons. Make it good. And better than what's available in-game.  
> Also Karmyn and Derkeethus totally have a game of "i'm not the bride, you're the bride" "no you're the bride" during that moment. (Little do they know they're both the bride.)
> 
> Only one more chapter and an epilogue left, if my estimations are right.


	26. Skuldafn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is here! Boooooooy, you waited for it and there it is!!
> 
> Smut.

“Finally! Finally the treasure is mine!”

Medresi Dran rushed down the gate that had just opened, completely shoving Derkeethus aside in her stride. The latter opened his mouth to protest, angry at so little recognition, but Karmyn's hand on his shoulder calmed him down.

“Let her have that joy.”, he said in a calm voice. 

And indeed, a moment later the Dunmer's screams resonated through the chamber, followed by some gross noises. Karmyn chuckled, and headed in turn to the final room, taking his time.  
Derkeethus rolled his eyes, following through the two now-open gates of the dungeon. There was a spiral staircase going deeper down, but he had the reflex to check behind the structure to find hidden loot; sadly he only found some gold and a broken sword.

“I thought we'd never get out of there.”, he commented as he pocketed it. “These Draugr were maybe the hardest I ever had to fight.”

“Lucky I was there to save your tail, hm?”, Karmyn snickered, heading down the stairs.

“Oh, cut it. Don't think I didn't see you hide away and use exploding familiars when we were at the pit.”

“I saved the day at the end, you should be more grateful!”

He smiled as he approached the Word Wall, and turned around to boop his snout to Derkeethus's. The green Argonian sighed, and returned the gesture, smiling.

“You did, you did. That was awesome of you.”

“Of course, I had some help.”

He smiled some more, and headed to read the text on the wall while Derkeethus looted the chest. They've found so many gems in Angarvunde to make up for the peril they've faced against the undead, thanks to some new perk from the Thieves' Guild. Derkeethus would have said that such wealth could make up for Medresi's rather impolite behavior, but...he'd simply say her ending was a sufficient retribution in itself. Revenge is best served in a dusty cave filled with traps.

“So what did it do?”, he asked, once the light from the wall had calmed down.

“Animal Allegiance. It's rather useful at times, so I'm not complaining.”

“Not all shouts are useful. By the way, do you think the dragons have a shout that gives you the power to clean up the house? Because that one sure would be!”

Karmyn rolled his eyes, chuckling at the snide.

“You say that, you say that. But I have a shout that'll turn you into a sweetroll if you try to force me into housechores.”

“That doesn't even exist.”

“Oh yeah? Think you have any better?”

Derkeethus looked at him, squinting, and whispered.

“ _Fus._ ”

Karmyn pretended that an invisible, powerful force just sent him to fly away to the wall, where he 'crashed' with a silly expression that made Derkeethus burst into laughter. And he laughed too, getting up on his feet and embracing him.  
One week. One week was the time he's given himself, to live his newly-wedded life to the fullest before going on with his mission, and crossing over to Sovngarde. And out of these seven days he's allotted himself, six have already been spent in a near-permanent state of marital bliss. As the two walked out of the ruins, the sun revealed that the sixth day was coming to a close, dusk welcoming the adventurers with its brightly-colored arms.

“We've done good.”, Karmyn commented. “We should rest a little before going back to Riften.”

“Let's hang at the camp. I'm starting to get hungry.”

Karmyn nodded, heading to sit by the makeshift camp Medresi had set up by the entrance. He sat on the bedroll with a yawn, taking off his helm to breathe in some fresh air, running a hand through his spikes. Derkeethus leaned over the campfire, stirring the cooking pot a little.  
Laying on the bedroll, eyes closed and wind ticking his face, Karmyn thought about the week they've spent. Immediately following the Riften wedding, there's been a full night of wild lovemaking, of which the both of them still bore the marks. Only thinking about it, Karmyn's neck shivered from the lingering sensation of kisses and bites. They then did all sorts of crazy things like raiding dungeons and ruins, to get used to their new married life. They've gone fishing for slaughterfish by hand around the Dawnstar coast, gathering quite a collection; they've raced on horseback across the plains of Hjaalmarch like they had dragons on their tails, hunting with bows like Redguards; they've spent the day in the depths of the Ilnata Lake, letting their minds slowly open to one another through their underwater connection, scouring for pearls and treasures; they've camped out on the mountains, in the snow and wilderness, with only each other to keep warm and safe. They've made the best of their time, living like adventurers should, and like wedded spouses probably shouldn't. Or should. He still didn't know about the do's and don'ts of marriage, but he knew he would learn.  
He curled up a little, away from the chilly evening wind. From the fire, the warm smell of food was coming to him, and he looked up at his husband. Xhuth, the word in itself was endearing enough; he played it in his head for a moment, looking at that man with a smile. _Husband. He's my husband. I married him, we're really married._ He couldn't believe it, no matter how many times he's had this thought in the days following the ceremony. He rest his chin in his hand, simply watching as Derkeethus prepped some meat and vegetables. It smelled too good to be true, and yet it was. If only _he_ could cook half as well.  
As dinner was cooking, Derkeethus sat down by Karmyn's side, and pulled out a small notebook. It was full of numbers and lists, like an inventory. Karmyn sat up, looking over his shoulder with curiosity, and taking this moment as an excuse to rest his cheek on Derkeethus's shoulder pad.

“Whatcha doing?”, he asked in a voice that he wanted to sound cute.

“I'm listing out what I looted today. I'll take orders next time we're in town.”

Karmyn chuckled.

“Still wanting to open a store?”

“It's not a store, it's better than that. And I've gotten a lot of orders yesterday. You don't know what people would be ready to give for all these armors and weapons we find!”

He scribbled some more numbers, in his usual right-to-left chicken scratch. 

“And...does it make money?”

“Oh, the gold's flowing nicely.”

He produced a small pouch, that he handed Karmyn.

“Here's your half of the profits, my dear.”

Karmyn rose his brows, but accepted both the gold and the petname. Derkeethus's never been truly open around those latters before.

“Why should I have it? It's your store.”

“You help me in more ways than you think. After all, without you I wouldn't be here.”

He smiled, looking at him and gently butting their snouts together.

“Plus, we...we're sharing, now. That's what it's all about, right?”

Karmyn took a moment to think. About marriage, and sharing everything. That sounded so weird...he's never had anyone to share anything with, before.

“Well...I suppose it's only fair. But what do you want me to share with you? I'm not sure I can give you much...”

“You're the Dragonborn, _kashu_. You're a thane in half of Skyrim's big cities. You own more property than you'll ever have a use for. And did I mention you have a vast collection of armor and weapons?”

The Dragonborn looked away a little, not knowing whether he should be proud or ashamed of it.

“I...I guess? Why, do you want a house to yourself?”

Derkeethus laughed, shaking his head.

“As long as you let me in yours, I'll be fine.”

“B-but I am! I'll let you in my house anytime! I'll even let you in my bed! In...in _our_ bed!”

He shyly smiled in turn, embracing him.

“Because I love you. You know that, right?”

“Of course I know.”

They looked at each other, green gazing into blue. The colors of the sunset gave Derkeethus's scales a warm, moss-like color and a slight shine that took five years off his traits.

“But I'll never tire of hearing you say it again.”

Karmyn smiled wider. Unable to hold it back any longer, he kissed him, humming of happiness.  
It was sweet, tender, and way too short for Karmyn to enjoy, even though it lasted several seconds. When they pulled away, he sighed, and curled up against his spouse's back, embracing him gently. Derkeethus chuckled, his tail touching to Karmyn's chest, his hand in his lover's spikes. He brought his face closer and kissed his cheek, lips grazing along his scar. Karmyn shivered a little at the touch, nuzzling him in return, hands wrapped around his chest and going down his stomach. 

“Eager, aren't you, dragon boy?”

“You tell me, curlyhorns.”

“Tsk. I swear...alright, alright, c'mere. Let's get this over with.”

Karmyn sat on his lover's lap, looking up at him and curling up in his embrace. Derkeethus nuzzled his face, bringing his arms around him to warm him up, kissing over his snout and cheeks in a storm of little smooches that made Karmyn giggle. He tried to return the favor, kisses after kisses, until their lips met again and they just stayed there for a moment, enjoying the touch and proximity. Then Karmyn looked up and tucked his face in his husband's neck, feeling the beat of his heart and the faint pulse of magic under his scales. Derkeethus held him tight, letting his eyes close slowly. Wondering what he could have done in his life to have such a loving, caring companion in his arms and in his life.

"We could do something meaningful for our last day here.", Derkeethus suddenly offered. "How about...how about we go somewhere we've never been to, before?"

"I wonder where that'd be. We've been everywhere already."

"Oh, there's always new places to explore. There's always things to do, there's always...always things to see, and people to meet."

Karmyn thought about it for a moment.

"I don't know of anywhere in Skyrim that'd be better than any other place in Skyrim, though. What do you have in mind?"

Derkeethus chuckled a little.

"Oh, but I'm not talking about Skyrim."

He gestured to the vast landscape in front of them.

"I'm talking of all that's beyond!"

Karmyn blinked, not understanding what he meant for a good moment.

"Beyond? Like...like other provinces?"

"I mean, wouldn't that be exciting? We've been everywhere in Skyrim, we could...we could try something else. See new landscapes."

"It's not that I wouldn't appreciate the idea, but...I'm not sure we can go to there and back in just one day. Even traveling to Cyrodiil or Hammerfell would take a while."

"Then we can save it for when you return."

They both looked at the mountains in view, at what they could see of some Dwemer ruins on the further side of the hills. Thinking.

"As in...a honeymoon of sorts?", Karmyn offered.

Derkeethus nodded.

"A honeymoon, if you'd like. We could see other places, like the White-Gold tower in Cyrodiil. I've seen it once, from the mountains near Helgen."

"Why did you have to mention it? Now I'm thirsty for juniper mead."

They chuckled at that, but now Karmyn had the idea going as well.

"I've always wanted to see Elsweyr. Kharjo keeps telling me it's the best place ever."

"Isn't it very sandy, though?"

"Well, it is, it is. And warm. But that's different from Skyrim's snow and mountains. That's new, just like what we want to see, isn't it?"

"It is, it is. Not the best place I'd be in, but it is."

"Or we could sail away somewhere else. What about Summerset Isle?"

"The Altmer homeland? That's very far!"

"I suppose...forget it. But that's always a possible idea."

"I'm not sailing away to a place where elves will treat me like the worst scum ever. Gimme someplace else."

"There's...um, how about Valenwood?"

"Where's that?"

"I think that's where Bosmer are from. I think. It's got lots of forests, and...and you know. It's chill."

"That's already a better idea than hot sands and hot heads. But keep going."

Karmyn chuckled, sitting up a little and embracing his husband closer.

"We could play adventurers. Get a big boat and a crew. Leave Tamriel altogether, and seek new places. How about Akavir?"

"I am _not_ following you to the other end of the world either, Minny. Get back on Mundus."

"Please? We'll see the tiger people."

"No tiger person will ever convince me enough that following you to some destination unknown would be a good idea.”

“Not even the home of Tsaesci, which are our fellow reptilian creatures?”

“Don't count on it. I've seen how you are with maps and compasses, and I wouldn't trust you anywhere near a boat."

"Not even a small boat?"

"Not even."

"What about a tiny boat? The kind with oars. For two people only."

Derkeethus pretended to think very hard about it.

"I'll seek to it. But you'll need to take on swimming classes if you ever fall in the water."

"We can breathe underwater, y'know."

"And? You'd find a way to drown, I know so."

Karmyn pouted. Derkeethus let out a pleased sigh, laying back a little. 

"Plus, think of the example you're setting. That's not what I want my kids to think. Safety matters."

Karmyn nodded at first, agreeing with the feeling. But he still perked up a little, looking at him with a smile. It took Derkeethus a moment to understand what got him so smiling.

"Tell me more.", Karmyn said softly.

Derkeethus's snout touched to his own.

"I've said a lot already."

"But tell me more. Tell me...tell me about them."

The green Argonian sighed, but smiled anyway.

"I dunno...I think it's still much of a 'maybe' thing. But...I've thought it over for a while now, and the idea doesn't seem so bad anymore."

"Would we have...many?"

"Do you want to?"

Karmyn looked down, his cheeks heating a little.

"Maybe one day...but, a small family isn't bad either. We...we'd have one or two, to see if we can handle it. And then, well..."

He shrugged.

"If there's an orphan who needs a loving home, I...I wouldn't say no, you know?"

"You're a bleeding heart, Minny. You're too good for this world."

He nuzzled him with a smile, kissing his nubby spikes.

"I'm doing what I can to help the world. May it be fighting dragons or taking in lost children. In the end, I made someone's day better."

"You're making my day much better already. You deserve that at least."

They kept nuzzling each other for a moment, until the smell of food tickled their nostrils again. Derkeethus stood up, going back to the cooking pot, leaving Karmyn hanging sadly. 

"Come back, husband...", he called in a jokingly-pleading tone. "I will die if you don't."

"Then die, I have dinner to cook."

"Why, cruelty...!"

Karmyn then made some exaggerated mimics, pretending to suffocate or be poisoned by something unknown, aiming to get Derkeethus's attention. But the latter knew better, and kept humming as he stirred and chopped, until Karmyn's eventual 'death'. Complete with eyes rolled back and tongue hanging out.  
He eventually came back to him, and kissed his cheek with a smile, sitting by him.

"Come back to life, now. It's gonna get cold."

Karmyn didn't more for a moment, but then pretended to be back up and running, like the victim of a necromancy spell. He took the plate Derkeethus handed him, and sniffed the food eagerly.

"That's a new one.", he commented. "What's it?"

It looked like a classical meat pie, but maybe wit a twist of sorts. Some new spice, perhaps?

"It's...a thing I never did before.", Derkeethus replied. "My folks have passed it on to me."

Karmyn looked at it in wonder. It had a very lovely crust design, with swirls instead of the classical criss-cross. He felt guilty taking a bite out of it, but the moment he did, his eyes lit up and he happily dug in more. Derkeethus smiled proudly, knowing the effects on tasty food on his doofus of a husband.

“I see you like it, hm?”

“Like it? Derky, that's the best thing I've ever eaten. What is it? Can you teach me how to make it?”

Derkeethus chuckled, looking away a little.

“I could, yes. That's actually my favorite dish.”

“I can see why.”

Karmyn ate some more, now taking his time to taste and make out what made it so good. Maybe beef, or something more spicy. 

“Is that lizard meat? It tastes like lizard.”

Derkeethus chuckled, nodding.

“It's crocodile, actually. Normally I'd have used wamasu, but there aren't any in this part of Tamriel.”

Well now that he said it, it _did_ taste like crocodile. He was rather amazed by it, since it had none of the usual stringy feeling of crocodile meat.

“Is it a...family recipe, you said?”

“Well...yeah, actually.”

He looked down a little. His tail gave the tiniest of swipes. 

“My father used to make masu pie when it was cold. It...it was a good time.”

There was obvious nostalgia in his eyes. Karmyn stopped eating for a moment, looking down at his plate. For some reason, he didn't feel like finishing it, instead putting a gentle hand on Derkeethus's shoulder.

“It's okay.”, the latter said. “I'm fine. I swear.”

“I trust you. But...really, come and finish it with me.”

“Are you sure? I...I made it for you. It's all yours.”

“Derky, your cooking is amazing. I don't want to keep you from enjoying your own talent.”

There was visible hesitation on his face, before Derkeethus ceded in and picked a piece of crocodile pie for himself.  
Night has started to set, covering the landscape in darkness, except for their immediate surroundings and whatever was left of the setting sun. Instinctively seeking warmth, Karmyn scooted closer to his lover, admiring the light going down over the mountains. He couldn't help a smile, thinking of all the sunsets they'd get to watch together once it is all over. Once his mission is done, accomplished, once the world is freed.  
He thought of the family he could have now. The faces of his orphan friends back in Blackrose came to mind; there would still be many ditched eggs today, waiting for someone to pick them up for the first time. He pictured himself with one, two, maybe more children, pictures their smiling faces and happy voices. He thought about what it'd be like to have kids, to raise them, to teach them all they needed to know. Would they be skilled in magic? Maybe, with enough teaching. How would he name them? He had no real idea. He didn't know a lot about Argonian naming traditions, and always stayed out of Imperial names vs Black Marsh names debates. He's picked his own name on a hunch, that he now realized was a faint recollection of his former dragon title. And about dragons, would he take his children along on he and Derkeethus's dragon-slaying missions? Maybe once they get old enough...oh, Talos above, this proved way too difficult. He had no actual clue of what raising children was like.  
And of course, there was a chance it wouldn't ever happen. There was a chance he wouldn't return from Sovngarde, a chance he'd never get to know his future family and married life. A chance Derkeethus would be left behind, widowed and alone. Would he take another partner? It was possible. Everything was possible, even the bad things, and this frightened him a little. He tried not to think about it, even though his heart was racing with anxiety. His nightmares about death have been coming back recently, and he didn't want to remember them. He didn't want to think about it.  
What would await him, should his last breath come? Would he simply disappear from this plane of existence? Would he become fully Argonian and have a chance at reincarnation, to find his soulmate again? Would he spend the rest of eternity in an afterlife of sorts? Would his soul roam the world, unable to cross over, until another Dovahkiin was born? Would he be trapped in his own body, like dragons are unless their souls are absorbed? He had no clue, and he didn't want to wait and see. It felt too odd to think about his own ending. Unlike anybody else in Tamriel, he had no definite clue about his own afterlife.  
He tried to chase these thoughts away from his mind. What he needed was to distract himself from these. So he closed his eyes, laid back against Derkeethus's side some more, and decided to forget about the dragons, just for the night.  
One more day. And then, he'd have to face his fate.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Derkeethus asked out of the blue.

The sudden question surprised Karmyn a little. He opened his eyes, looking up. Then, after some hesitation, he nodded.

“I'm scared.”, he admitted.

“Would you like to…tell me more?”

Karmyn shrugged.

“Just a bit of existential crisis. I'm fine, otherwise.”

“It's not the best idea to let you think this way.”

He nuzzled Karmyn's spikes, kissing his scales.

“Want help with taking your mind off things?”

“I wouldn't say no.”

He sat up a little, cuddling with him. So warm, so soft, despite the armor in the way. So familiar. Compared to everything else that was happening, this man was maybe Karmyn's last rempart of familiarity.  
Their nuzzles got a little deeper, soon turning to small kisses. Derkeethus barely had time to put his empty plate aside before Karmyn pressed their bodies together, visibly turning his angst into need for intimacy. And while the idea in itself wasn't bad, the setting wasn't ideal, which led to Derkeethus halting their embrace a little.

“Is this going where I'm think this is going?”

“I don't know. Do you want it to?”

“You know how I feel about it. Let's go somewhere wild beasts or thugs won't interrupt us.”

Karmyn chuckled at the thought, but conceded with a sigh, sitting up.

“I like how you didn't say 'let's go home'. Am I free to interpret it however I want?”

Derkeethus looked away a little, his face getting heated. One could see the internal struggle that read on his traits.

"...exceptionally, yes you are.”

Karmyn smiled, and kissed his warm cheek, standing up. Derkeethus followed along, still a little flustered, but not unhappy with their current plans. Not entirely, at least. While his husband (good Sithis, the word itself opened so many doors…) was a little eccentric at times, Derkeethus was fully aware of it by now. And given Karmyn's mission and upcoming fate, he could give him that. He could work so the both of them spent the best week of their lives.  
Of course, it would maybe the last week they'd ever spend together. But he tried very, very hard to not think about it. He didn't need this negativity right now. All he wanted was to be happy, dragons or not, World-Eater or not. It took him so long to realize the true nature of his own feelings, and he wanted to at least enjoy them thoroughly; combined with that dreadful feeling of their fun soon coming to an end, that left him with a good reason or more to make Karmyn as happy as possible.  
Before he knew it, they've reached a body of water. Probably Lake Honrich, which was almost right near the dungeon they've just left. Derkeethus couldn't help raising a brow at the sight of the lake, which was glistening with the light of the moons and auroras. He looked at Karmyn, who simply kissed his hand with chivalry, and tried to hide a little smile. Derkeethus chuckled, getting his intent, and led the way to the water, holding his hand.  
It was a little fresh from the beginning night, but it was clear enough. He took a usual second or two to adapt to the liquid environment, and swirled around happily, Karmyn following. They looked at each other after some warming-up rounds, and Karmyn grinned, swimming through seaweed. A race, huh? Well, there was no denying a challenge.  
Derkeethus followed suit, trying to catch up, but that little xhuth had tricks up his sleeve. He leaped out of the water, splashing his partner who had some trouble getting back on track, and dived down laughing. Derkeethus growled playfully, and rushed after him, aiming to catch him. His hands nearly closed on him, but a quick moment of inattention got him stuck in varech. Karmyn grinned as he came closer and booped to his snout, before swimming away again.  
They played like this for a long while, chasing each other, splashing, racing and brawling like wild crocodiles. In the wake of their fun moment, it sounded even more of a better idea than their original plan. Karmyn would always get away, not holding back for anything or anyone, giving Derkeethus the hope but not the chance to catch him. And soon, his competitive spirit got the upper hand: there wouldn't be any rest or satisfaction until that blue doofus got caught and pinned.  
From there on, it was but swirling, escaping, squirming between seaweed and leaping out of the water; and of course, endless amusement. Under the pale light of the moon, laughter echoed as much as water, genuine laughter that was well-needed in these times of worry. It felt like time had decided to stop, like stars have paused their course, so these two lovers could share a moment of fun and games for what may be the last time of their newlywed life. Competition soon gave way to camaraderie, which in turn led the way to closeness.  
Forgetting about the race, they drew closer in tight embraces and warm accolades, and soon enough their heated mood came back. Before he knew it, Derkeethus was pinned to the soft ground that covered the depths of the lake, and his lips caught into his partner's. He replied to the invitation with even more tenderness, his hands joining in into the touch. He felt around his lover's scales and thorns, nuzzled all over his face, and let out tiny little gasps when Karmyn returned the gesture. Away from all prying eyes in the safety of water, he knew nothing could go wrong. So he opened his mind some more, almost feeling the weak yet present connection they shared in their natural element. Their kiss got more passionate, more lustful; their hands were starting to look for ways to put each other's armor aside. With enough haste and fumbling, they managed to take their chestplates off, and lost no time in grinding against each other as if that contact was more vital to them than water. He could feel Karmyn's scales getting even more heated, his heart beating fast and strong under his hands.  
Derkeethus took the upper hand, flipping them over to get on top, and kissed his neck and shoulders all over, keeping him pinned down with an iron grip. Karmyn tried to squirm in protestation, but he accepted his position when his lover started nibbling him all around, making him gasp and shudder in rising delight. He could feel himself getting more and more eager for what was to come, his loins throbbing with excitation. And excitation turned to arousal when Derkeethus moved down, nuzzling down his body. He ran his fingers over a sensitive scar, making Karmyn shiver a little in a good kind of way. He kissed and nipped around his stomach, being very gentle about it, and knowing where to act to give him the best experience. Karmyn's hands wandered a little, settling on his lover's neck and shoulders, caressing a bit aimlessly but with a skilled touch that drew the slightest of moans from his partner. Karmyn grinned to himself, continuing his impromptu massage, until Derkeethus's face was lodged between his thighs, where he kept nuzzling and kissing. A consenting glance later, Karmyn's breeches were off, and his legs gently caressed and fondled with delight.

“Are you sure you don't want I start it, this time?”, Karmyn asked gently.

Derkeethus smiled a little, but shook his head.

“It's always nice to make you feel good. Trust me.”

“But I am feeling good right now.” 

He smiled, and brought his lover closer, looking into his eyes. They gleamed of a faint green under what little moonlight passed through the water, and Karmyn only found it even more magical.

“I'm always feeling good with you. That's how things are.”

Derkeethus smiled, and brought his poet of a husband into another warm, passionate kiss. This time Karmyn didn't miss his chance, flipping them around once more, and grinding a little into his lover's hips. Derkeethus squealed of surprise, and started to say something in protestation, but another well-timed kiss shut up his worries. He joined into the grinding, his hands running over Karmyn's back, feeling the thorns of his spine and the scales smoothed out by the constant wearing of his armor. His own arousal was becoming obvious, and it was hard to resist giving in to the temptation of taking him right here and now. For a second, he felt a thrust of possessiveness taking hold of him, and grind some more, getting closer to him. This man, this adorable little xhuth was his husband, his exclusive partner. He was his' and his' alone, and no one would take him away. Not even the dragons.  
Led by this rising feeling, Derkeethus nibbled around his neck; a little harder this time, enough to add more marks to those he already sported. Karmyn gasped and moaned, grabbing his thighs in return, and squeezing his flesh under his fingers. Soon, more teeth met more skin, and their foreplay became indistinguishable from the beginnings of a wild beasts' fight. While Derkeethus wasn't fond of pain, he was used to the feeling of his lover's fangs, and to the subsequent marking. They weren't beasts for nothing, after all! Plus, they were careful not to draw any blood, for it could be dangerous in water. But all these bites and nips and nibbles were more than enough to turn on the both of them, and press them to undress even further. Soon they both laid naked on the lakefloor, caressing and kissing and playfully teasing at each other. They resumed grinding, each trying to overpower the other, succeeding and failing in turn as horniness and eagerness led the way, yet staying at about an equal match. However after a while of flipping around, they both gave up, out of breath, and contented themselves with kissing roughly and pressing into each other. Their loins rubbed together, like they reflexively were trying to penetrate each other already. Karmyn barely had the time to apply the usual protection ward before Derkeethus took the upper hand, flipped him over yet again, and thrust his fingers into his partner's cloaca.  
Karmyn was thoroughly aroused by now, so it barely hurt. He threw his head back and gasped again, making little sounds as he was being manhandled by his well-knowing partner. His fingers spread and stretched him out, felt the moisture around his walls, hit against all the right bumps and spots, caressing along the nerves until his cock eagerly slipped out of its sheath, for his other hand to chug and fondle with skill. The poor Dragonborn still had a lot of trouble with holding it in, biting his hand to not make too much noise as pleasure rose, throbbing and beating in his crotch. He spread his legs in invitation, letting his partner's tongue replace his fingers. Underwater, the scent was even more intoxicating, Derkeethus found. He wanted more, he _needed_ more of it; he grabbed Karmyn's hips and lifted them just enough to fully eat him out, making him squeal and moan even louder. It was an amazing feeling, one he wouldn't handle for long before giving in. Derkeethus's hand wrapped around his cock again, squeezing a little, and it felt absolutely blissful. Karmyn closed his eyes, letting him take over and manipulate him at his whim, happy to have someone so gentle and nice to take care of him. Derkeethus eagerly obliged, working his tongue in ways that Karmyn has never felt before, and that were likely on-the-spot improvisation. He wouldn't complain, though, for this was already perfect. He caressed his husband's curved horns, his jaw thorns, brought his face closer and guided him into better cloaca-licking angles. When he hit another spot _just right_ , he gasped and yelped a little, pushing him closer and deeper in. Divines, this man had the skill to make him go crazy! There was no way he could hold on much longer, not with such prowess...and indeed, he didn't. His cum spread in the water like a cloud of spores, and Derkeethus decided to ignore it, more focused on drinking his lower moisture away, seeing the fast pace of his tongue. And he wasn't complaining, far from it.  
After a seemingly endless yet too short time, Derkeethus put his hips down, nuzzling his stomach and chest with a smile. Seeing that toothy grin, Karmyn knew he was still up for another round. So he didn't try to fight, and wriggled his tail a little, showing his rear to him like a beast in heat.

“Come on, love.”, he teased. “Won't you take what's yours?”

That cord was the right one to be tugged at, for Derkeethus lost no time. The tip of his cock found its way into Karmyn's cloaca, making him gasp a little when he started thrusting. He grabbed onto some nearby rocks and tried not to squeal too much, even though it was difficult to keep the volume down with his lover's ribbed, slender shaft currently inside of him. So he didn't, letting his cries echo out in the water, his eyes fluttering a little from the rising intensity of their mating dance. While he didn't want to play with Derkeethus's feelings, he wanted to tease his possessiveness some more, if only to get a better insight of his abilities.

“C-come on...make me yours, Derky.”, he gritted between his teeth, as a pace was being picked up. “Make me yours! Seed me, come on, breed me!”

“You bet I will!”

Derkeethus grabbed Karmyn's tail, making him gasp loudly, and fucked even harder. His knot was rubbing against Karmyn's entrance, attempting to slip in to get a better hold of him. His tail squirmed and wriggled in his hand, and Derkeethus kissed it all over. It felt a little weird, but not too bad; he could get used to it. There'd always be new things to explore, wouldn't it? Maybe sucking on a partner's tail, what Derkeethus was doing right now, wouldn't be too far fetched for them. There was always new ground for discovery, and there'd always be time for these to be made.  
For Karmyn wouldn't let himself die. He wouldn't let his soul be lost in Sovngarde, he wouldn't lose against the World-Eater. He wouldn't let himself be beaten. He would fight with all his might, like what was expected of him as the Dragonborn, and like the hero he aimed to be. He would live, he would thrive, and he would come back from it. Where he had previously displayed fear and anxiousness, Derkeethus's repeated loving assaults were now filling him with a sense of liveliness he didn't realize he needed so much. Caught in the arms of his loving partner, his head filled with rising pleasure, he realized just how much life was beautiful and worth living. He wanted to get out of it alive and in one piece, so he could keep enjoying all these moments: the intimates ones, sure, but also the tender ones, the caring ones, and all these moments of partnership and teamwork that they've had and would have again, sooner than they'd think. As speed was building up and he felt his release coming to a close again, he let this peaceful, excited feeling wash over him, and thought of all they still had to live together. How beautiful would it be to watch a sunset with his beloved without dragons interrupting them? How amazing would it be to pause their adventures and not feel guilty about it? How incredible would it be to leave Skyrim and travel together, without any regrets? Think of all the places they could mate in! He pictured it alright, his thoughts now full of erotic ideas that only helped his arousal further. He gasped and moaned, letting his mind wander some more on that point, Derkeethus's thrusts only pushing him even closer to climax. He bucked back into him, slamming their hips together with grunts of pleasure, looking up at him.  
Derkeethus was so beautiful when he was pounding the xhuth out of him. His slightly lidded eyes, his horns that glistened with moonlight, his scales that looked so soft to the touch, his strong arms and his hands, _his hands..._  
Karmyn didn't resist. Guided by his primal needs, he kept bucking back into him, huffing and grunting until he could feel his lover's hot seed spilling inside, like a flow of heat that made his stomach feel deliciously warm. He kept going, Derkeethus resuming jerking him off, until he could feel his own orgasm coming right up, squealing and moaning and shuddering.  
Just in case he wasn't entirely convinced about surviving, the bliss of this moment definitely tipped the balance.  
They laid in the soft nest of varech that had formed in their mating brawl, and held each other tightly. Karmyn was grinning of delight, still a little dazed; but definitely feeling better. His hands were idly tracing patterns over Derkeethus's back, feeling his scales and spines, feeling his quick heartbeat under his fingers. He looked up from Karmyn's chest, leaning up to kiss their neck tiredly.

“Feel like having another round?”, he offered.

“Maybe not now. But...the intent's there.”

He nuzzled him with love, feeling the gentle current of his breath against his own face.

“Want to go up, then?”

“I feel way too good. Let me rest.”

Derkeethus chuckled, nuzzling him still.

“Alright, loverboy. But I won't be so gentle next time.”

“Then you'll be the time after.”

Karmyn opened his sleepy eyes, looking at him.

“And the time after that. And the one after that. And all the others. All the times we've yet got to live together. And trust me, there will be many.”

Derkeethus rose on his elbow, his eyes widening a little bit.

“Many?”

“Many.”

They smiled, and went in for another embrace, full of love and warmth. Their lips met again, and their fingers laced together. It felt like peace, like quiet, like a gentle rain coming over him.  
From this rain, he would make something grow. He was determined to it.

~~~~~ 

“Are you scared?”

The question surprised Karmyn out of the blue. Breaking from his contemplation of the heavy dragon trap, he looked at his companion.

“Why would I be?”, he scoffed. “I got this, don't worry.”

But Derkeethus didn't seem to believe him. His tail was swiping nervously, his eyes darting around the open space of the Dragonsreach porch, and at the huge red dragon that was still caught in its wooden jaws. For now.

“I...I can't help thinking about it, Minny. What if something goes wrong?”

His gaze turned back to Odahviing, who didn't appreciate their enduring captivity. It's been over a week, they had reasons to be angry. 

“I'm sure things will be fine.”, Karmyn answered, not thinking of all the ways where they wouldn't. “Let's keep hope in our hearts.”

He smiled, trying to hide his own stress. 

“And hey! Have a bit of faith in me, will you?”

His hand touched to Derkeethus's. Slowly, they intertwined again, his grip tight and secure. Protective. 

“I have faith in you, my love. I really do.” 

He squeezed his hand some more, and looked to the early morning they could see rising over Whiterun. The dawn of the eighth day, the one where he would need to spring back into action.

“So...have any plans for now?”, he asked, trying to keep a casual tone.

Derkeethus shrugged.

“I'll go home and wait, I suppose. I'll keep company to Meeko.”

“Take him along on adventures. He needs some fresh air.”

He nodded, looking over to the woodlands, the mountains. Slowly, color was coming back to everything, the darkness was being chased away. A new day was rising.

"There's the dragons, too...you could take care of them. I know you can do it, after all."

Derkeethus's thumb caressed his lover's palm, as if to reassure himself. He looked away a little, his voice hesitating.

“Is there really no way...I could come with you?”

Karmyn could feel the sadness in his voice. And he hated not being able to brush it away, like he'd usually do.

“I don't know what would happen to a mortal soul. It's a wonder if my own can manage to enter it...I don't want to put you in danger.”

He looked at him, and put his hand on his own chest. To reassure both Derkeethus and himself that yes, he was still alive. Why for he didn't know.

“I have seen my past. I know that you and I promised each other we'd meet again. And rest assured, that...”

His throat felt heavy. Was he about to cry? He tried to dismiss this feeling.

“That whatever happens, we'll return to the Realm of the Hist. We'll meet there again, we'll find each other.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to picture that memory he's seen. That lush place, where everything had felt so different, and yet, so much like home.

“Don't put your soul in danger, _ziifahdoni_. Please. Wait for my return.”

Derkeethus obviously wasn't pleased with this answer. But it wasn't like he had a choice either. So he nodded, returning the hand squeeze.

“I will.”

Then, slowly, his hand trailed to the amulet of Talos that he still wore around his neck.

"I...I know it sounds weird, but...you mind if I pray for your return?”

Karmyn blinked, not expecting his companion to have adhered at all to Nordic beliefs. But he smiled, and nodded all the same.

“You should visit the shrine one of these days. I have a feeling...”

He thought back to the seeds. The Hist tree he's planted, right by the Shimmermist shrine. The hope he's put for the future, for his, for _their_ future.

“I have a feeling you should.”, he smiled.

Derkeethus nodded. Their snouts gently touched together, and the both of them slowly closed their eyes. Saying nothing, barely moving, as dawn gently ran over them like a soft glove of light.

“I love you.”, Karmyn whispered. 

“I love you.”, Derkeethus agreed.

They opened their eyes again, and looked at each other. The thought of their impending separation still hurt, but it would at least be less painful now. Granted no other pain would add to it.  
By the dragon trap, there was some activity. The guards were preparing for the release of Odahviing, and Karmyn needed to get back to his duty. With needed regret, he let go of his soulmate's hands, and slowly made his way over there. When he came at their level, Odahviing's night-sky eyes glared at him, with an expression Karmyn couldn't read very well.

“You have stepped very low, Kahrumin, if you are to make alliances with mortals.”

He shrugged in response.

“What does it mean to step low, if I do not recall having ever stepped high?”

The dragon responded with a low grunt, that could have been a sarcastic chuckle.

“You cannot resist your true calling. Once you've flown the skies of _Keizaal_ , your envy of the _dov_ will only increase.”

The trap opened, and everyone but Karmyn stepped away. Odahviing stretched their weary limbs, flapped their wings a little, scaring more than one guard. But Karmyn didn't falter. 

“My true calling, huh?”

He thought back for a moment. Thought back to everything that had happened to him. These past days, these past weeks, these paths months, these past years. How quickly his life has been to change, to take new paths. From the theft of the Hist seeds, to his arrival in Skyrim, to his awakening as Dovahkiin, to his rise to power.  
To meeting a new friend. To having a new companion to fight with. To discover his own feelings, to let them bloom. To now having to jump into the unknown, and despite all his fears, knowing he would return.  
He thought of the future that he still had ahead of him. A future that looked very, very bright.

“I've found my true calling already.”

Next to him, a safe distance away, Derkeethus was smiling softly, clutching the pendant in hand. Karmyn smiled back, etching his husband's face into his mind.  
If he had to die, he wanted this to be his last memory. Just in case.  
Odahviing turned around, stepping towards the porch, lowering their wing just enough for him to get on their back. Karmyn took a deep breath, cleared his thoughts, and stepped forward. Riding a dragon sure would be something new, and he was glad he could at least have experienced that.  
As his scale-brother took off, as the wind caressed his face like never before and as the remains of the rising sun made his eyes close for a moment, Karmyn thought back to all his adventures so far. All the feats he had accomplished, all the good he's done. By now going to fight Alduin and save the world, he would truly become the hero he's always wanted to be. He couldn't believe it, and yet he's done it. He was there.

“Yes.”, he said. “I'm there.”

He smiled, looking to the horizon, feeling his wedding rings under his fingers.  
He wasn't alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading Of Scales and Swords! Whether you've been following since the beginning or hopped along on the ride, I love each and everyone of you! Especially if you review, comment or show your appreciation. It's what keeps me going. I love you all. Please keep being awesome.
> 
> An epilogue was originally planned, but I decided to scrap it. You'll know why. You can however read it on my [Deviantart](https://carminekanzer.deviantart.com/art/Of-Scales-and-Swords-Epilogue-739780498), but keep in mind it isn't canon. Unless you like it and wish it to be canon, in which case yeah, it is canon. You do you.


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